Well I left China and am back in Angeles City now. I came to China at the worst time, during Chinese New Year. I thought with a week off work, people would have more time to hang out. But the opposite was true. They are all even more busy visiting their families and home towns, or traveling abroad. So they even have less time for you than if they are working. And a lot of things were closed too. One day all I could eat were noodles from 7-11, which I made sure to eat several of to not get hungry. lol. I was at least able to hang out with some HAers, such as @Ghost
But the girls were disappointing. All the girls that were interested in me either got married, lost interest, flaked out, or turned out to be fake. The main girl I came to meet in Guangzhou, who looks like a model and claims to be one, was very weird and fake. She was nice at first and even paid for dinner. But after that she flaked out and never even bothered to cancel our appointment the next day. She then took a week business trip to Shenyang way up north and promised to see me when she came back. But she didn't even offer to or follow up when she came back. All she asked was "Are you still around?" but nothing after that.
Since then she's never able to answer any question directly and avoids answering any questions at all, unless it's about buying some expensive perfume for her such as "What brand perfume do you like?" What a weird girl. Something is definitely off about her. Nothing about her makes any sense, and she explains nothing. I get the sense she is some rich man's mistress or a hostess of some kind. She served me during dinner as though she were trained and skilled as a professional hostess or entertainer for high profile clients or something. Oh well. Ethan_sg told me long ago to never take her seriously. We think she's just a narcissist who gets off on getting attention from guys but is never serious.
Still, I never understood why she waited two years for me to show up if she was never serious and just playing games. Or seeing how big of a sugar daddy I was, etc. Nothing about her made any sense. However, she didn't just become flaky after we met, which in that case would mean she decided she wasn't interested in me after we met. It wasn't like she was reliable and normal before. No. She was always flaky and disappeared for days or a week at a time with no explanation, and often avoided most questions. So she was always like that. That's why we never took her seriously. Plus she was way out of my league too. But hey I at least had to try and get it out of my system, since she had been waiting me two years and was upset about it. (You can see her photos in this slide show I put together of her here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9tfzb9qbtQ
So I gotta wonder how things would have turned out if I had come two years ago or even one year ago, as I had wanted to. So again, all my potential girls were lost due to being trapped in f***ing Taiwan. It's like God again trapped me in Taiwan and didn't let me go back to China until all my potential women were lost and it was too late. I knew this would happen. He did this back in 2012 and 2013 too. Otherwise, I could have had a Chinese wife by now. I had some good Chinese women wanting to marry me back then. But some invisible wall blocked me, as if the universe didn't want me to pursue that path. It seems since I made the decision to go to China back in 2011, it's been awfully hard to pursue that path. It's as if an invisible wall constantly blocks me from it so that it takes me years to go there, even though it's just a 1 or 2 hour flight away. Makes no f***ing sense. But that's how it is.
Maybe it's for the best anyway, since I am not the stable committed husband type that can settle down for life like they want and give up all my freedom for them to live a structured routine life. And as @MarcosZeitola
said, my personality and soul are not compatible with Chinese anyway. They are all about work and business and making more money, not about being laid back and having fun and pursuing creative pursuits. And they are too cold on the inside for me to connect with too, not like the warm laid back Filipinos in Angeles City.
But it could also be that God doesn't want me to abandon Dianne and Angelo for a Chinese wife. However, Dianne has a Filipino boyfriend now anyway, who she says she knew before me and was her first boyfriend before she ever met me. However, he is never around and is always working in Taiwan. But her heart is always with him. It's amazing she can maintain a long distance relationship with him for years. That's not usually possible. So Dianne isn't a good candidate for marriage for me anyway. So I don't know why God would constantly thwart my plans and ruin them like that.
Anyhow, the reason I left China was that every girl was always busy and could not make much time for me. It's hard to find people to hang out there. People aren't willing to make time for you if you aren't in their clique. So most of the time, you are bored there and have nothing to do. And if you have a job, then you don't have much to do other than that. So most days felt lonely and boring there. I also felt alienated watching thousands of cold robotic Chinese people everyday rushing about like ants, having nothing in common with them and feeling no connection with them. After a while, that gets lonely and alienating. Ghost and @El_Caudillo
and others have reported the same thing. It feels like everyone is a machine there, and you are the only human, which gets lonely and alienating after a while. And after being lonely and miserable in Taiwan for 6 months, as I was last year (f**k!) the last thing I wanted was more loneliness and boredom in China. It's like all people there want to do is work work work, rush rush rush, busybee busybee busybee, etc. I couldn't stand that. It seemed so meaningless and empty. So I had less tolerance for it than I normally would if say I had arrived from the Philippines.
The Chinese, especially in Guangzhou, seemed no different than ants in an ant colony. All they did was kept busy and rushed around everywhere, living only to serve the hive and follow and copy everyone else. But since I am not an ant or robot like they act, I cannot relate to them at all. And since I am not cold or reptilian on the inside, I cannot connect with them soul-wise either. Also I experienced an even worse and more extreme version of this in Hong Kong, which was even more cold, rushed and soulless than mainland China.
Also, my birthday was coming up and I didn't want to spend it in China alone, waiting for that flaky model girl to celebrate it with me, but who had proven unreliable. And also, the HAers there live in different cities, so it would have been hard to coordinate everyone there to get together for my birthday. Far easier to do that in Angeles City, where everything is close and cozy, and others could come down from Manila. Plus my expat friends in Angeles City had more free time and were reliable and easier to get together with. And of course, Dianne and Angelo were there too. So it seemed best to go back to Angeles City to celebrate my birthday, as I did last year, where everything is a lot more predictable and easier to arrange.
Plus I was tired of walking everywhere in Guangzhou and Shenzhen, China and taking the subway and transferring so many stops. Walking around China is a chore. Everything in China is so big, like a giant maze, and far and a whole day of walking around makes my feet sore. It's such a hassle after a while. Nothing like the coziness of Angeles City. And since I'm a small town type of guy, well you know where I fit in better.
I gotta say though, that coming from Hong Kong and China to the Philippines, you see a HUGE difference in how much more WARM and LAID BACK and EASYGOING people are here, which is a big refreshing difference to the coldness and rushness of Chinese people. As they say, everything is relative. So if you go from that path, you will see a big relative difference in terms of soul, sweetness and warmth. It also seems that @MarcosZeitola
was right that my personality and soul and attitude fits in a lot better in the Philippines than in China, where people seem so ant-like and robotic.
in our WeChat group described the difference best when he said: "In China you always feel like an outsider. In the Philippines, there is a warm soothing vibe that China lacks, as Winston said. It's a different vibe. You may be treated like a walking ATM machine, yes, but you never feel like you are an outsider there. So the Philippines does have a special vibe that no other place has." However, I would like to add that even if you look Chinese, like I do, you still feel like an outsider in China, if you are a stranger to them, and you aren't on their narrow/practical ant-like wavelength that only understand rote memorization. lol
What's unfathomable is that mainland Chinese people it seems, actually believe that their government is "God" and is infallible and never wrong, like the Pope used to claim to his followers. So even if their government said "2+2=5" or "Winston Wu looks like Britney Spears" they cannot be wrong. This is ridiculous. No one in their right mind would think their government is God or is infallible. So this is very stupefying.
In contrast, Filipinos, simple as they are, are at least God fearing. No Filipino, even if they are low IQ, considers government to be God or to be infallible. No one in the Philippines would ever think that. So how can Chinese, who are supposed to be smarter, buy such nonsense or go along with it? Very odd. I definitely would rather have a society honor the God of the organized religions, or seek a higher power, than replace that worship with government or science as their "God" instead. There's no contest. It's never a good idea to have people believe their government is "God" or is infallible. Nothing good could come from that except for the elite. And there are no checks or balances of power in that, nothing to stop abuse of government power or corruption. Nothing to keep authority in check.
Also it turns out that mainland Chinese are dumber than I thought. For example, if you walk into a store in mainland China, and ask for laundry detergent, then unless you use the exact Chinese word for it, and only describe it, they will never understand you, even if you describe it in Chinese. So whenever I asked them "Do you have that thing you throw in the water to wash clothes?" in Chinese, they would never understand it. Apparently they cannot deduce from basic logic that I am referring to laundry detergent. They cannot see that if 2+x=5, then x must be 3. lol. Unbelievable. This happened multiple times. Even Chinese hotel staff cannot understand laundry detergent unless you use the exact Chinese word for it. Often I communicate with foreigners by describing what I mean, because my vocabulary range is small. And usually it works, they get it, but China is an exception.
However, get this. Here in the Philippines, me and my friend Roberto tried an experiment. We walked into a drugstore in Angeles City, and I asked them in English "Excuse me, do you have that thing I put into water to wash clothes?" The girl immediately knew what I was talking about and led me to the aisle where the bags of laundry detergent powder were. She said "Oh you mean the powder". WTF? LOL. So even Filipinos, who are supposed to be lower IQ than Chinese, get what laundry detergent is if you describe it? But Chinese cannot? Amazing!
I guess only a small percentage of Chinese, like the ones you see in the US, are smart and intelligent. But not in mainland China. Many of the mainstream there are pretty dumb, narrow and retarded, and cannot think at all, or even use basic logic. It's like they are pure memorization machines and cannot read the basic context of a situation or sentence to figure out something simple. lol. So I guess mainland Chinese in China are not as smart as I assumed. That probably only applies in the US.
Also another annoying thing in Asia is that people never give you step by step directions. They always point the way and leave it at that. They are too lazy to describe point by point turn directions, like Americans and Europeans do. This is something you see all over Asia. It must be an Asian thing. Because in America and Europe, people are good at giving step by step directions. Somehow Asians cannot conceptualize such things or describe it with articulate words, not even in their own language. I saw this all the time in China. It has nothing to do with language, since they do the same in their own language. Rock told me that Japan is an exception though, the people there will give step by step directions and draw maps for you.
Anyway, since I do not share any of these Chinese traits, clearly I cannot be Chinese on the inside, as all my close friends will tell you. But this is something which is way out of the box of the Chinese paradigm which assumes that you are on the inside what you are on the outside. lol