Wholeheartedly agree, but good luck finding that in 2016. You have to be willing to compromise on looks significantly and I have very high standards, so I'm doomed in that regard.The_Adventurer wrote: That Polish girl will be hung up on her bf for the rest of her life because he was her 1st man! There's a reason why some folks on this board will only consider marrying a virgin. There is a biological bond that happens with a girl's first man that can never be repeated. It will never be that strong with any other. It doesn't matter if she has only seen him once in two years. They did the deed. She is his and subconsciously always will be.
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I must add
Not only did you put all your eggs in one basket, but you also let your d*ck completely take over, which is understandable, but still a mistake.
Consider yourself lucky you're not the chump stuck with a chick that talks and live-auditions other dudes, while in a supposedly serious relationship.
That other chump is the one stuck. When she can trade up with a hotter dude than you ("chemistry" LMAO), that chump is in for a surprise.
Well, at least she treated you to japanese food, NOT! sorry just humoring this a bit. I've learned those lessons the hard way.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
My god man, what the hell are you doing to yourself?
Stop using your cock as a compass and start using your big head.
Traveling that far to meet a girl is simply not worth it.
Pick your broken heart up off the ground and forget her sexy ass.
Most girls are monumental wastes of time.
You should be glad it didn't go any further as it could only have gotten worse for you.
Just remember that once you have seen her naked and banged a girl you've reached the ultimate goal already.
So you didn't bang her, but that's all that you could have achieved.
Whoever gets with her for good will eventually get sick and tired of all her BS.
Everything else is downhill from there, so just move on.
"it doesn't matter how hot a girl is, some guy, somewhere is sick of her shit"
By the way, I was once 40 and living with and banging a hot ass 17 year old pinay (who I thought was 18) and her Mum had allowed without ever having met me!
Something was too good to be true about it of course, and it turned out it was all a trick to try and get her pregnant. As is usually the case in the Philippines, the truth remains a mystery, but she was supposedly in an arranged marriage that her now deceased Dad had set up for her with some rich Chinoy guy, who she didn't like. So the mother and daughter concocted a plan to get her pregnant by a foreigner asap, then the arranged marriage guy wouldn't want her anymore. The catch was that he had paid a large dowry to her Dad for her hand, but he had spent it all already on nonsense of course, and couldn't pay it back since he was already dead. So the rich but ugly Chinoy would want a refund of the dowry if he couldn't have her. So the poor foreign guy would be handed the dowry bill after she got pregnant. Then of course for the rest of his life, her and her wretched family, village and tribe would have asked the foreigner for money for chickens, pigs, ducks, goats, karaoke and pinball machine spare parts and whatever other lies they could come up with. Needless to say I didn't fall for it, and she finally gave me a baby ultimatum which I refused, so she ran off with a Korean sucker, who thought he had snagged a winner.
Save your life and start listening to Tom Leykis now!
Most likely she's used you to make her "boyfriend" jealous but this hasn't worked. Unlike you he didn't go in all guns blazing and used his head, hence why he's never met her again.
The worst mistake to make is to be fooled by a woman's beauty. Learn from it. Long Term Relationship material as you described her as, can't be defined in the short term.
If I understand the timeline correctly, I think this girl already signaled pretty clearly to you that she was not interested before you even considered booking a flight over there.
Maybe when you saw photos of the love of her life, it puzzled your left brain logic cus you consider yourself objectively more desirable than him. Being rejected on skype for physical and chemistry reasons likely bruised your ego. You probably figured you could go and show her the truth so she would forget him and fall for you.
Take responsibility for that decision. It's not on her even if she says "my bad". She never pretended to be into you. And it sounds like she felt guilty for hurting you so perhaps reluctantly agreed to meet you on her turf.
You're a young guy and hopefully will gain a lot of needed wisdom through experience and advice as your progress through your 20s. Perhaps when you become more masculine, mature, and strong, your luck with women and relationships will improve dramatically.
1. There is no perfect girl or only one. Rather there are probably 10s of thousands of women on the planet who would tick your particular boxes and rate as well as this girl. BTW, for me, she's not all that. In fact, I wouldn't even want her if you can believe that. Why? Cus she's too short and slim for my taste. So you see, taste is very very subjective. I've even met girls who are very into chubby guys with pot bellies. So don't fault her for finding the ex so handsome. It's her taste and her choice which she's completely entitled to.
2. So out of those 10s of thousands of women who are your type, its on you to find some of them, reach out, and figure out which ones are also into you. It's a lot of work most likely but nobody said finding a mate is easy, especially if you are very picky which I believe you probably are.
3. Unless you are exceptional, your travel resources (money and free time) are probably quite limited, especially at your age. So it behooves you to use them wisely. Spending one of your travel bullets on a girl who doesn't even like you and not at least lining up a bunch of other women to meet while you were in Poland was careless and wasteful. Ironically, if you had told the girl that you were coming for many reasons, not just to meet only her, she would have felt less guilt, pressure, and respected you more. In the future, get the most bang out of your buck when you invest in romance travel. It's a numbers game. So maximize your contacts before you ever book a ticket. Odds will be a lot more favorable that way. Even if you don't meet Ms. Right, finding a subset of women from your list who really like you and are into you will boost your confidence and give you more mental energy going forward.
4. Good luck, and don't just work hard at this, work smart
I hate to say this but you came out really beta and desperate. I'm Asian male myself and I understand. I'm older than you but when I was 23 years I might of acted the way you did over a girl but as I got older I realize you don't put everything for ONE GIRL..never..unless she gives you what you give her.
I don't know if it's polish thing but more it's her thing. Women are more or less the same . From reading your thread it sounds to me she was never interested in you but because you found her attractive and at the same time out of mentality of scarcity you kept pursuing her. I mean I understand. As Asian guys we feel that many white girls don't find us attractive. So when you meet white girl that has a thing for asian guy and she is hot. You do whatever you can to get her but that's only if she show signs of interest. In her case she didn't. I think out of you desperation and I hate to say oneitis you kept at it.
I don't know where you live or how you look but here is some BIG news.. I wish I was 23 years old and single cause I notice that there is cultural changes in USA with more non-Asian girls interested in Asian guys.
I would say try local girls but don't put everything in basket. Don't put everything for one girl. Women come and go.
Oh my god... wtf.
Anyway, I agree with Rock and chanta76. Dude, read your own post again, she rejected you FROM THE START. You kept chasing her, demanding her to aknowledge that you are better looking then her bf and therefor you would be better suited for her but she still said no. So you the write that since he is 30 and she 16 (15 when they started talking) you couldnt take their relationship seriously...ok? You write it like if it was something universaly/objectivly obviouse that we all should agree with, when its not. Then you fly all the way to her, she is clearly shocked that you showed up but acts politly and hang out with you. But you think she is rude and westernized for not saying 'thank you' for the sushi.
Then you guys text where she clearly and for the last time says that she doesnt want any contact with you and your conclusion is that she is a bad person for keeping your hope alive and wasting your time When infact its you that acted over emotional leting you fantasy about her being your perfect partner in a LTR become reality like in a psychosis.
She is right that you acted crazy and you probably freaked her out beyond belief. It seems to me that by starting this thread you want recognition for your suffering, well no.
Here is some good pointers, girls are far more emotional then guys (in general) you cant talk logic into a 16 yo that her first love (probably) and the guy who took her virginity (probably) is not as good as you, its just point-less, there is not some objective index to mesure that its f***ing human chemistry and emotions.
Stop bashing this guy for not wanting his gf to hang out with (what appears from his perspective) a crazy guy. He got her, he won, thats it. Move on, dont be a butthurt beta.
You say that you can get avarage looking girls in the states, that you get complimented on your looks regularly. Thats great news, thats a solid base to work on to improve your game so you can hook up with above-avarage looking girls in the states and abroad. That guy probably had some game, just saying. Remember that attraction betwen men and women gets different in the part where men can go almost purely on looks, where a women gets turned on more by 'manly' traits.
Like others already menthioned, when you go abroad pipeline with multiple girls on your destination, once there approache and so on never go for a singel one, no.
Last, like chanta76 wrote, there is a big shift towards asian guys over the world right now, which means that asian-fetish (among girls) is growing. I know there is a big scene for that in Poland if you ever wanna give it a second try.
That boyfriend won the lottery. I still find it amazing, almost unbelievable that some man out there is screwing an underage super-model looking white girl, while the rest of us kill each other in the dating olympics just to get an ugly or average older women. It is these kinds of things that make a man want to kill or rape or both.
I don't have any advice, but I do respect that you have standards. You went for the gold medal: an insanely attractive, underage, white girl. My advice would be to keep pursuing your high standards for a girlfriend/wife and in the mean time use prostitutes. Eventually you'll either give up on finding a girlfriend/wife and stick to prostitutes or lower your standards.
That's the problem right there. As long as you men keep thinking that some women are greater than others, you'll be stuck in that rut. You overvalue women, their abilities, their "desires" and their very presence. It is the man who is the prize, not the woman.
A man can have multiple women and be respected. A woman who has multiple men is just a whore. That's how you know who the prize is.
That's the way it's supposed to be. By default it can't work that way in a feminist society. Hell, in a world of "social media" and iPhones a woman has an unending stream of attention from guys telling her how "awesome" she is. And of course women lick that shit up.
The OP and other guys here are pedestalizing that bitch. Yeah she has youth, but she is not even that hot. some guys get easily fooled by make up.
*Funny how she didn't think the Sushi was "creepy" and eagerly devoured it. C*nt.
This is why i always suggest going to nice brothels and hookers to bang a bunch of of 9's and 10's to get that out of your system first, and "pay them to leave" lol.
Some of these guys thinking that chick is the ultimate lottery are in for a surprise if they manage to "pull off" something like that. There's probably a reason why that other chump hasn't really gone back to see her.
Generally the prettiest girls are boring as hell, lack empathy, or have other personality issues. I don't mean one shouldn't look for a hot woman, but they should also be screened by personality, otherwise you might really regret it long term.
Also, I like young women, but one of the drawbacks is that after the 5 minutes of bliss, some women metamorph into unrecognizable monsters in a few years. So the younger you get her, the greater the uncertainty.
As things stand, for long term, I would be happy with an "8" with a "7" brain, but "9" sense of humor and empathy.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
The best post I've read on this forum about women. Totally utterly 100% bang on the money!
Yup, overvalueing a woman based on looks is a grave mistake. It's like handing over the baton and relegating oneself to bitch mode. I don't get the guys who do this or feel the need to prove themselves to a woman they hardly know. Maybe it's down to a lack of self-respect.
In western nations, women use online dating like crazy and have a shit load of men sending them messages. Also on Facebook, women get messages all the time telling them how "beautiful" they are.
This drives up the woman's sexual market value to the point that she thinks almost no man is good enough for her.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I am the boy friend of the girl in this thread. I don't want to cause any drama here because it is just not worth my time. But I am going to ask the admins of this forum to take the thread down and I thought HawaiianStyle should know of this so that he doesn't feel offended "if" it goes down. (Hope the admins here are responsive)
Some things HawaiianStyle mentioned here are true and some are not. We do have a big age gap. 14 years. We were hesitant in the beginning but later decided to give it a shot. I wouldn't have decided to do that if it wasn't for her personality. She just seemed like the right person after talking for awhile. But we had many challenges. Almost too much for us to handle at times. We "broke" up (not talking for 2-3 days is break up according to her) several times because we had to deal with our culture gap(I was born and raised in Korea, her in Poland), physical distance gap (timezone difference is hard when you want to skype after work), and the age gap (different interests). We are still together working it out after 2 years. She is writing this post with me as she is crying because she has been hurt by what HawaiianStyle did here. This is damaging to now a 18 years old girl It doesn't bother me much. This just seems like a guy who took the risk(which I respect, since I flew over to Poland too after 1 year), but can't man up the consequences that followed. I don't even know where he got all our photos but they seem like the ones I have on Facebook as public. I took that risk so I am not going to complain. Now, about the things he said incorrectly...
I met her on a dating site when she was 16, turning 17. I did not "make love" (not "bang") to her when she was 15. In fact, although I visited Poland for 2 weeks, yes staying at her parents' place and spending time with them, we decided that we would wait out on having sex together so we did not. Sex is not important to us, getting this tough relationship with all the challenges worked out was more important. I spent the 2 weeks getting to know both sides of her family all the way up to the grand parents and rented a car, traveled different cities to meet them. This summer, we are taking our relationship to the next level and she is going to live with me in North America for about 2 months. I am curious to see how our relationship would be like without 1 of the gaps gone. Pretty hyped up about this right now.
I don't even want to comment much on HawaiianStyle's writings here or him as a person in general. I found him so odd lying his way all the way to my girl friend's town. The only thing I ask of you HawaiianStyle, is that ok, Internet is a free space and you can say whatever you want, I respect that and I know I can't even stop you from posting more of these posts else where. Just go easy on it. If I feel that you are crossing the line, I will take legal actions. In case you haven't been keeping up, there has been some serious precedents on defamation cases. That's all I gotta say and I say it very seriously.
Lastly, I would like to say some things here seeing as we are on a topic of my interest. That is online dating. Online dating solves some interesting problems in today's modern society and I can see why it is gaining so much traction. Having done it myself with success I would recommend it to others. However, to my surprise, I did come across users like HawaiianStyle a lot, more than I expected. I guess with the power to sift through all the profile photos of "potential" candidates, you can easily start feeling like you are going through some online store's product catalog. You stop to bother reading all the profiles just because there's too many and only choose the ones to talk to based on profile photos. While reading HawaiianStyle's original post, I had the feeling that he is very much focused on gir's looks. But how many times did we regret buying some clothes on Amazon.com after seeing what kind of material it is made of upon delivery? When it comes to finding the right person to have a relationship, we ought to give more thoughts into it then just judging people on looks. Online dating sites are nothing but a communication tool and it is a great! one at that. Instant messaging, instant browsing, everything is so fast and well organized for you. However it is no more or no less than what it really is. No matter how technology changes, I personally believe, the way you find the right person should begin from knowing who you are first and getting to know who the other person is. Take the brand logos out of the picture, if that winter jacket fits your body well, keeps you warm in cold weather, I say you take that.