Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.
I found 2, one got very little traffic the other was a bitch to use. There are probably more out there. I am open to suggestions for non country specific ones.
Also I am an oddball also but there is oddball like finding reading provincial govt budgets a fun activity weird and weird in a flat earth space jew weird.
Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!
Special Offer! FREE 6 Month Membership on ForeignWomen.com! Sign up here.
Find Your Foreign Sweetheart Now! Try our international Dating Sites and Overseas Romance Tours!
There a fuckton of them. Obviously, the PUA sites like RVF, the monger sites, the country specific sites. So many that I get dizzy just thinking about the fact that so many exist. I can't even keep up with the HA forum, which is why I don't bother with the other sites.
cdnFA says there is no useful information here. The truth is that truly useful information eventually makes its way to every one of the ex pat sites, early and clear at some of the sites, late and garbled and mixed in with crap here at HA. So what? It's the overall tone at HA that keeps me coming back. The tone at the other sites leaves me depressed. HA leaves me feeling cheerful. Say what you will about Winston, you have to admit he is cheerful and has a true lust for life and brings that spirit to this forum.
People here are highly intelligent for the most part - or there is highly intelligent, non-mainstream ...ways of thought going on here. Generally - when you differ from anything outside of the main STREAM of the daily life, it will cause ruffles and can cause problems. The sites that make fun of this one are usually social aficionado sites where the members usually have a way with words and of course they will give commentaries.
I've realized that as depressing as it is, for me, this is the truth. Life is really dull, the masses of people are really non-intelligent, dumbed down, non-thinking, group thinking school - fish like mentality. There seems to be no difference from the animals, in my honest observation, this is true. I think this is the basic nature of human beings...
I think that those who fall back on a Judeo Christian mentality have trouble, because this emphasizes individuality and wisdom, traits that don't come naturally but have to be developed. It will separate you from the masses - and cause you problems.
People that come here aren't autistic, mentally deficient etc., socially awkward yes, perhaps - but it is no great feat to consider yourself healthy and fine just because you are socially fluent. How dumb and easy is it to join a school of fish? People are here because at some point, they made a choice to be, at any point we can go back to being a part of a herd.
That's the simple reality of it... now many when they read this may become conscious of it and make that choice.
It's a valid choice. I'm not saying one is better than the other. In some ways I think it is easier to live a life as a simple human creature - enduring all the struggles and desires/pleasures that come with that, not feeling separate. But there is a calling to a higher path and an understanding that I can't imagine most people don't feel to themselves. However, I must reconcile with myself that a far greater number of people have never felt this way ever. There are many people who are just what's in front of them - that's who they are, what they do, they think, that's everything... it's that simple.
For people who think it is harder for them because you enter a different dimension of thought and then abstract reality, conceptualization occurs which removes further from real life.
If you choose to not fit in - you will suffer; there is no question or doubt about it. You will. But the question is; is the knowledge and new understanding "worth it"? that's the choice you have to make.
People who think or are intelligent there is generally no place for in modern society. There used to be places and a value for thinkers - now you're labeled Aspergers or socially deficient or something. That shows they don't want anyone moving up being smart. Understand how this works... just understand it, the more you stick out from the herd the more you stick out from it.
You have masses of people acting dumb and stupid just to fit in the social aspect of it. Understand this.
Then you have the so smart you're dumb "phenomenon", this is where someone is so smart they are knowing and talking about things that most other people have no idea about - and is seen as stupid by other people. They are so smart they are unappreciated by others and they cruelest part is they aren't even recognized as being smart sometimes - but dumb, socially awkward etc., or some other thing. It's a reverse mirror thing that happens to really smart people - the really dumb ones call the smart ones dumb - because they don't get it, from their limited frame of reference.
When you're constantly striving to be the best of the best. *don't wonder why you're separate from the herd or constantly lonely all of the time.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
Winston is a fat, old, ugly Chinaman but he's got balls. He's been playing the hand he's been dealt the best way he knows how, and for that he's earned my respect. I feel bad for his kid though...
PUAs are full of shit, I trust them about as far as I can throw a 400 pound land whale.
Monger sites are fine for mongering, I was on two local ones but rather limited focus.
I already explained the issue somewhere with country specific sites, a bit of a burden if you haven't picked a country, not so useful for county comparison.
Also did I say there was no useful information. Anything I read here has a huge question mark because either the person is on the odd side and his perspectives result in information that doesn't really apply to me or worse the person is a complete wackadoodle at worst [space jews] or more mildly so determined to fit the world into their ideological framework that they can't be trusted. Most recently this gem by Winston about how the Chinese cenus is wrong because he was in China and on the streets there were more women then men. Maybe he say it that way, maybe it is even true but come on. Much like the people here who say the divorce rate is near 100 percent because everyone "they" know got divorced and just other dumbassery.
Not quite the same thing as saying there is NO useful information. However I find it hard to trust any information unless it goes against the HA ideal or if it has been confirmed elsewhere.
Sigh, if you can't see it....
See what? .... We must disagree on what defines intelligence.
I see what you're saying. I really do - I still think that there may be highly intelligent posters on this forum - I think people use this as a platform for their emotional issues, though. I've sensed that from the beginning. It's kind of nice because, it's a safe haven to do it, it's definitely probably not healthy though. It is like a fat lady eating chocolate at night in front of the t.v. - a guilty indulgence. I think many people come here to just feel better. We can't fault them for that, we get beat up everywhere else.
This is a safe place. I think there is some delusional thinking going on here, in the forums, to make people feel better. If people feel insecure or defensive, often times it's easier to adopt a stance of fighting something, or having something 'to fight'.
This is unfortunately human, and it sucks and it is ugly.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
He is just another moaning, whiny misanthrope - the world is full of them. He explained his username once.
'I am Canadian and FA means forever alone...'
How can you discuss anything with someone who has such a bleak, negative outlook on life? The thing is - you can't.
Wow man Eric...Your thoughts have exploded into powerful stream of principles since you went to china..looks like china is increasing your brainpower ...seriously....This is the best post i read in a long long time...
I don't know if anyone told you...but you are a changed man...There is lot of difference in your thoughts and outlook...keep doing this ...
That I can agree with.
Wow, for someone who doesn't care about me or what I do with my life you sure seem to have a lot of butthurt.
Hey what's bleak and negative about being Canadian... oh wait, you mean the other thing
I didn't go on my first date or have my first relationship till I was 46, after I created this account. Still haven't kissed the girl although I am sure she likes me.
Bleak, negative or realistic.
Sometimes a shit sandwich is filled with shit. I got plenty of positives but they don't apply to the forum topics and I would be mortified to come across as a braggart.
If you know she likes you, then perhaps it is just a matter of boldness on your part.
Despite going to college, I didn't have my first "relationship" til age 24. Being naive, I was taken advantage of by an older woman of 29. I had a couple of real opportunities where women were in my dorm room. I had no idea what to do, honestly, and the one chick would not help me in any way, saying, "Are you a virgin or something?" I really did not know what to do or how to access her parts or anything, and she would not help me, at all. I had another chick who came to my room and wanted me but I was too stupid and inexperienced to make a move. But then I also had complete bimbos come to my room after partying in their underwear, telling me how much they think I'm cute, but then this girl would not do anything with me. That was very frustrating, and most of my dating life has consisted of the American woman who is a total B, the American woman who is attracted but not interested in guiding me or explicitly stating it, and the American woman who is a major, over the top tease who wants to keep on the verge of frustration for her pleasure.
I also had a rather unattractive Indian girlfriend for a few weeks who forced a relationship on me. She was my friend one moment. Then the next moment she just decided she was going to be my girlfriend. She lived two floors below me in the dorm. She wasn't interested in having relations with me either, which is good, because she was not attractive at all, sorry to say. I just wish one of those angelic women had been as bold as this one. Although some women can make some weak (pathetic attempts) overtures, it just barely registers on my radar, usually.
There are some good American girls out there. The problem is they are shy, fade into the background and use that stupid osmosis means of flirtation (which means you really have to be attuned to very subtle signs instead of the over-the-top come-get-me signals the teasing bimbos send out).
I never found life in Europe to be so complicated, despite what Yohan says. In Europe I knew if the girl hadn't made an excuse to get up and leave within five mins, and if she kissed me, that she would not flake on me. Usually if they weren't interested they'd make an excuse and then leave quickly and early. And usually the women were asking me out. I asked a couple of chicks out, but mainly all I had to do was get close enough to them to say hi, and then they'd do literally all the work (the woman pursues the man).
American women have a serious misunderstanding of what it means to be women, and they routinely abuse all of their privileges while expecting men to not respond accordingly.
I have heard guys who have visited Germany say that women in Germany will actually be the ones to strike a conversation with a man and if they like the guy, they will ask him out!
All the guy has to do is make himself open to meeting women (like sitting next to a woman on a bus or train) and if the woman likes him, she will flirt with him and start talking to him. She may even suggest they get together sometime for coffee.
Wouldn't it be nice if American women did that?
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
Thank you for putting in the time for your thoughts on this matter. Seriously, I am not being sarcastic. It is good to see someone compartmentalize.
I've done the boldness, I get shut down everytime. She was during the cultural revolution and lived for about 3 decades under Maoist and post Mao rule.
She claims she isn't ready, we hold hands in private, she has touched my arm, we do side hugs in the car before I drop her off. We have hugged in front of her door but she doesn't like it because there is a camera there. I was more bothered by this until I was told by another girl [HK] her age that she wouldn't kiss a guy after 8 dates either although with her replace Mao with Methodist.
I am guessing it is a cultural thing. OTOH hand 4 years before me her last relationship was for a year to a white guy. I wonder if he put up with such a long period of waiting. OTOOH she also said that with the 4 year gap she finds it a bit awkward. Or maybe it is me. I'd talk to her more about this but she finds it very awkward to discuss it and it seems her English fails her at expressing such feelings and thoughts.
She seems to be trying, she has touched my knee in the last few dates, that sort of glacial progress. It would be much more tolerable if this was her first turn at bat and not divorced [she married for family pressure, no kids]
Sadly the HK girl, she did like me but she was too shy to let me know. I once got her to go to the campus bar in the middle of the day as friends as it was a nice quiet place to study in the afternoon but it was a bit of a struggle. I think I can be forgiven for not getting the hint.
Aside from a girl when I was around 8 or 10 who I saw only once and well age... and another when I was 12 or 13 who I met when playing at the arcade and who weirdly turned on me before the evening was done [meh 12/13] there isn't anything else to go by.
That is honestly the way it happened for me most of the time. It really is the woman who chooses the man, and each time I attempted to choose the woman, I screwed up BIG TIME. So I don't do that, unless I know specifically that she is my type. That is the only time I prefer to cold approach (okay I also cold approach just to keep my courage up, but not to get numbers).
American women are mostly shy. They might strike up a conversation. That does happen, but very rarely, and unfortunately it is usually an obese woman who is unrealistic. The most a woman will do in the states usually is come sit next to you. That is a major step for them.
I'm not upset that they don't initiate conversation though. I was mainly upset that if you don't know what you are doing then they won't help and they'll just walk away. The other problem in the states is that the B****S will flirt with you knowing they don't want you. That's abuse of affection if you ask me. They know they are unavailable, yet they'll go over the top with flirting, and then turn you down when you muster up the courage to talk to her. These are the American women who I hate more than any other type. That's very disrespectful. Along with the stupid B****S who come to a man's dorm room in their underwear, tell him how attractive they find him, but then say they've been raped and can't have sex with you (a girl literally told me, same girl who came to my room in her underwear, that she was raped by three men in a gang rape and therefore she wouldn't have sex with me).
I don't know if the Russian or Ukrainian men have to deal with this nonsense.