Missionary validates my observations about Taiwan

[Winston]

Why is it that the only 3 people who dare validate and confirm my observations about Taiwan are all Missionaries? This is the third one. It seems they are more honest and less politically correct than regular people perhaps? The rest just deny, deny, deny.

Here is what one told me recently:

"My Friend,

My wife is Taiwanese, I am American ie USA Citizen. Taiwanese women are not happy, never smile and have been taught or breed to be reverent in public. I time in Taiwan has totaled over 2.5 years.

TW people do not start Living their own lives until after 30 years old before that they are still children and much be respectful at all times.

most are boring too. I would encourage you to find a good girl with your same goals, views, EXPECTATIONS, and believes. As far as how to meet them it is best to be introduced. As weird as that sounds. They find that very natural. That is why a good paying career in Taiwan is Match Maker.

Good Lunch
Jesse"

Next response:

"My wife is beautiful, my kids, are cute I live in southern california, just got laid off from work and am thinking about heading to tw for work.
I am extremely out going and experienced a lot that you experienced. Saw that you saw. I am a white American and my first time in Taiwan I was a lds missionary or Mormon missionary. A year and a half after I completed my 2 year calling in Taiwan I went back to Taiwan to teach English.

The second time I was there I felt a lot like you. I just wanted to make friends with pretty girls but when I would approach them or say something to them they just give you a blank stare.

I am a happy person and I have noticed here in the USA Asian women never smile in public.

I think it has to be a little genetic. Our lives are so blessed I think a smile will show greatfulness.

In Taiwan I hang out with a lot of people who are my parents age. I met a group of nice people at the local pool.

So yes you are right the old people will talk to strangers especially when they find out I speak Chinese.

Enjoy the phillipino people they truely are nice.

Jesse"

[Winston]

He also made this interesting observation:

"Americans are easy to meet hard to know.

Tw are hard to meet easy to know

This is what I was told in social psychology class.

This means it is ok to talk with strangers and to be polite but don't let them in your house here in the us

And tw don't talk to strangers but if you are someone a few times it is ok to be their friend and invite them to you house.

In tw I have to press and push to become friends with people but once we have a friendship they will give me the shirt off their back and welcome me to stay in their home.

In the us it is a little hard to get someone to give up their shirt and house.

I think the us culture has a lot of influence from the early settlers. Often when you would marry you would move away and set up your own farm. Can you image not seeing another person beside your parents and siblings for many days. How refreshed would you be once you did see someone else, finally someone new to talk to.

Also self reliance was a huge principle that today is not valued like it use to be.

Today in America it is the land of entitlement.

Taiwan you live your life for our family not for your self.

Jesse"

[ladislav]

It takes a person with an analytical mind to figure out such things. Also, he can speak the language. The other guys , I bet did not speak the language and were interested in floozies to lay.

[Winston]

From two other Missionaries in the past who validated my observations as well:

--------------------------------------------

Winston

I just finished reading your article....

The Repressive Singularity of Traditional Asian/Oriental Mentality

I came to Taiwan 37 years ago as a missionary. I've been either in Taiwan, Hong Kong, or China for 33 of those years. Whereas I am not a "free spirit" like you (Hey, I'm a missionary with all the hazards thereunto apertaining!), yet your take on cultural analysis was very much similar to many of my own observations.

In a few days I'm going to be "orienting" four foreign couples (one from US, two from Australia, one from Philippines). They are more or less clueless about Taiwanese and Chinese culture. The 26 pages you wrote will choke them. Yet, I found what you wrote true to my experience. I will probably (someday) shorten your ideas, but for now I just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts.

John

PS When did you write this?

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Subject: Married to a Taiwanese woman
To Winston,

My name is Murray, I'm an Australian and white, I live in Taiwan and I'm Married to a Taiwanese woman. My wife's name is Kelly (sorry I can't type in Chinese just yet).

I was reading your ideas and views here http://www.happierabroad.com/Asian_Mentality.htm
and I have to agree, what you have written is pretty much smack bang on target.

When I first arrived in Taiwan I couldn't speak any Chinese (Mandarin). My wife (then GF) would have to translate for me or just simply answer first without telling me the question.

Since then, I have learnt to speak Chinese and I must say, some days I think I would be better off without knowing what Taiwanese people say. Within 6 months my Chinese was at a basic level, that's when I started getting asked "how much do you earn"? I was asked this by my wife's mum (mom) everyday and it became rather annoying. I know other foreigners get the same questions as me.

I have heard "you're too fat, lose some weight" and "Don't drink too much ...... or don't eat too much that" almost every second day.

My private affairs seem to be family affairs, and family affairs are nothing to do with me since I'm white. My wife's sister wouldn't acknowledge me in anyway, even saying hello was out of the question.

Nowadays, My family-in-law accept me and allow me more freedom. I think this is mainly due to the fact I have a strong personality and I don't do anything that I can't see the logic in doing.

A quick example of my life now.

I'm sick right now. I think I'm sick because I ate some night market food that was bad. My wife constantly yells at me and tells me that I should do more exercise and I wouldn't get sick. Then she will start asking "Have you taken your Medicine yet"? "Do you want to see a doctor"? ( my 3rd visit to a doctor in 2 days) or even "Why should I take care of you if you don't take care of yourself"?

My wife can be very caring and compassionate, but if I give cause for the smallest discomfort, she will start a torrent of verbal abuse and usually end with "Why don't we just get a divorce"? ( in my six months of marriage, I have heard this particular line about 30 times). Of course, the next day she is back to being the sweet innocent wife that only loves and cares for her husband.

Thank you for reading this far Winston. Your words and ideas have let me know, I'm not the only one who is seeing and feeling this, it's common all throughout asia ( or the orient).

Murray
Australian, 25 yrs old, lived in Taiwan 2 years, 6 months.

[Winston]

BTW, I just remembered something.

When I was 17 and lived in Taiwan for a year (explained in my loneliness story and Christian deconversion story which you can find on the sitemap) I actually thought that Taiwan was very friendly. I had very different standards at that time. You see, at the time, I was bullied and persecuted in school constantly, so anywhere to me where people were nice and didn't bully me was a huge breath of fresh air to me and my self-esteem. So you see, my standards were completely different back then, and I felt like I fit in more in Taiwan. Plus I was a totally different person back then, in every way, with a completely different personality too. So much in fact, that I actually feel like my soul has been replaced with a different one (perhaps there is a multi-soul theory?). I was much more innocent than now.

But now of course, my standard for friendliness of a place is "Any place where chatting up hot girls does NOT feel inappropriate or awkward" hehehe