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Winston is back in America - Observations and Updates

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

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Postby Winston » Sun Sep 27, 2009 4:16 am

Comments on my latest observations from a wise expat I'm corresponding with:

> uptight anger that made you restless and angry
> not good for mental health, I can't put my finger on it.

Man is both human and animal.
When we remove ourselves from the natural
environment, and place ourselves in
artificial, unnatural situations,
problems of varying sorts arise.

These problems will manifest themselves
in different ways in different people:
anger, frustration, murder, suicide,
withdrawal, and addictions of every sort.

It's not only in America.
The artificial matrix you are
experiencing exists everywhere,
but to a lesser degree in some
places than in others.

> depressed vibe in the atmosphere here in
> going downhill and everyone knows
> suffering in silence.

Social attitudes move in waves.
America has been polarized between the
left and the right for quite some time.
This polarization climaxed recently in
the year 2000 with the Bush-Gore election
issue.

Polarization has many adverse effects,
both personal, and affecting society
as a whole. The nature and intensity
of these effects fluctuate and increase
with time.

Polarization is why many people are silent,
and withdraw into themselves and their own
small, safe worlds. They fear that they will
say or do the wrong thing, and they want to
avoid conflict, or public humiliation.

> - A lot of things have gotten more expensive than before,

Coconuts, pineapples, papaya, mangoes, watermelon - nearly
all fruits and vegetables, which are the best things for
us anyway, are all more affordable here.

Gasoline, beer, milk, beef, poultry, cheese,
consumer goods, computers, electronics,
new technology are often always cheaper
in America.

Rents and real estate prices are affected by greed
and speculation in the local real estate market.

Any nation or locality where the people have greed
and speculation in the real estate market will
have high rental costs.

Aside from the breakdown of the extended family,
this is the root cause of homelessness.

> - The news media and culture in the US seems to assume
> that the only problems we have are economic, otherwise

All media is biased, so we cannot expect anything more
from them than what we get. It's like complaining about
the weather. If you don't like the weather, then move.

> I hate how they are programming
> us to be solely materialistic and ignore everything else.

This is the 21st century, and the future is now.
You live in the matrix, where nothing is real
but that which you make to be real.

> It's like the Twilight Zone here.

It's everywhere, to varying degrees,
and will eventually sweep the earth,
except for small isolated pockets
of refuge.

> - I also hate it when I see a hot girl with hot legs here
> and I can't do anything about it but watch in torture as

For me, and attractive person, be they male or female,
child or adult, is a happy, healthy, and natural person.

The "hot" woman of today is an anomaly, a creation
of the "Barbie doll culture". Their very existence
is to tease. In the teasing, comes a sense of
satisfaction on their part, and a sense of
frustration for the teased. This is the nature
of the game. It is a game of power, and it is
practiced everywhere, to varying degrees. If
you are willing to play the game, and you know
the rules, then you win the prize.

But with regard to doing anything about it, there
are always plenty of creatures ready to have sex,
if you are a player. On the other hand, controlling
our passions begins first with not exciting them,
so look the other way.

These so-called "hot' women are not real.
They dress "up" and use make "up" to create
a media induced fantasy image, which is in
no way related to the reality.

With time, all the artificial beauty
fades away into nothingness.

We are either celibate, monogamous, or we play
the field. There is a price to pay for everything.
When we give up one thing, we gain another.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Welcome back WU

Postby razorbacksinmexico » Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:28 am

The world is changing. People are changing. Hope you keep up your travels. It's great to hear your stories on the road. We all learn from them. Everyone knows some of your experiences and we can identify. It's great to hear like minded people's observations.
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Postby Hero » Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:56 pm

Vinstonas wrote:- I also hate it when I see a hot girl here and I can't do anything about it but watch in torture as she vanishes from sight, never to be seen again. It's excruciating. And it deflates me and makes me depressed the rest of the day or night. Why is that? Does that ever happen to others too? It reminds me of my years back in college in California where I'd get excited seeing hot girls here and there, but get no results when I try to meet them, and end up deflated and depressed the rest of the day, as though the wind were knocked out of me. It was a miserable and futile existence, yet I couldn't complain or else the robot population around me would all tell me that the problem was me and that I needed help.


Yes Winston, it happens to me all the time at work. There are some attractive ladies here, but I'm invisible to them, and all I can do is clench my fists in frustration.
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Postby Winston » Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:50 am

Hi all,
I'm in Las Vegas now. I used to be impressed by all the lights here and its feel as a place to escape from reality. But now I see it as kind of empty and too commercial. There's almost like a hypnotic trance here. And when I see the masses enjoying all the commercial entertainment, it feels a bit like The Twilight Zone.

Anyhow, I was wondering something. Why does Vegas have this slogan that goes like this: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

What is that referring to exactly? I don't see anything "happening" here that is out of the ordinary. All around me are families and couples minding their own business, being stuck up, private, and not talking to strangers, as usual. I do not see anything wild or sinful happening that is out of the ordinary that is different from anywhere else in the USA.

I'm beginning to notice something, that in the US, there is something, some vibe perhaps, that makes you feel fragmented and empty on the inside, as though making you feel like "you're not good enough". It's a very bad place for mental health and self-esteem, that's for sure. Sensitive people are not cut out for America. It's just too easy to feel depressed and sad. You know what I mean? Anyone else notice that too?

I also get the vibe that I'm not good enough to date anyone or any woman, and that the society excludes me from the dating scene and deems me unworthy. It's a very scary and icky feeling, almost like an attack on my ego. I can just sense it from the vibes being projected by people around me, like the dating scene is completely futile, like women do not want to talk to me or get to know me, like I'm totally excluded from dating and sexuality. It's like a cold cruel world. And has a nasty effect on your ego. Not good for sensitive people who need to be loved, at all.

When I try to flirt or chat up a girl, I also get this strong creepy vibe like I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing, like transgressing some kind of boundary or doing something wrong. I hate it. It's creepy and does not feel good. I know it's not my imagination, even though the politically correct crowd will tell me that it is. It's something very real definitely.

Also I notice very clearly that there's a lack of human connection here, as though everyone were in their own world consuming and afraid of everyone else. But the thing is, other people seem totally oblivious to it, as though they don't notice it, except me. I feel like the only sane person, as usual.

I seem to be the only one bringing this into public attention with this website, as anyone else who feels that way will be told to blame themselves.

People tend to deny their weaknesses, and so do countries, and America is no exception. The US shields itself from criticism by telling complainers that the problem is them. There's a whole denial thing going on that I see.

It's like a Twilight Zone experience being back in the US. I am able to see things a lot more clearly from a neutral standpoint, than I ever did before.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:11 am

BTW, I don't know if any of you have ever been outside the strip in Las Vegas, but when you go outside the strip into the local streets, strip malls and neighborhoods, there is this depraved depressed feel and vibe. It actually looks like something from the video game Grand Theft Auto. Degenerate people are roaming around, looking stoned or drunk, with tattoos all over. Or else they have gangster/thug-like faces. It doesn't feel safe at all and has a depraved and depressed feel to it. Very creepy. I thought the suburbs around Vegas would be filled with preppy looking middle class yuppie type folks, not like this. There is this ghetto, depraved dysfunctional feel to it. Kind of scary, even for me.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby momopi » Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:20 am

If you go outside of Vegas, the area around Green Valley Ranch is pretty nice & suburban. But other parts over in East Henderson is the "Twilight Zone" for me. That's also where many section 8 properties are located.

Vegas is a great place to play if you have money, the party goes until you run out of cash, then you're out. Quoting my buddy who lives there, "our tax revenue is dependent on you outsiders coming here to lose money in the casinos".

Generally speaking there are 3 ways to get girls in LV. The first, you bring your own. The second, Nampa (pick up). Third, you pay for it.

The first option is the easiest (what I do) if you have some female friends. Just ask around to see who wants to do a weekend trip to Vegas and ask them to bring their sisters/cousins/friends along. Take the girls clubbing, BRING NICE CLOTHS. All popular Vegas clubs are packed on weekends, to get in quickly you need to be on the VIP list or pay someone to grease the door man's palms. Last time we went, we used these guys:
http://www.platinumpassportsinc.com/

They'll arrange for limo transportation and VIP access to places like Tao and Pure. If you didn't bring nice cloths, buy at Vegas outlet mall or opt for more casual (but smaller) clubs like Tangerine.

For the second option, if you're good at nampa, then nothing else need to be said. If not, then find / make some guy friends who are good at it and take them to Vegas with you. If you have $$, go to a popular club and pay for the couch/sitting area ($500+) with bottle service, then hit the dance floor to find small groups of girls and invite them to hang out. If you don't have $$, it's near impossible to chat someone up with the music blasting by the dance floor, so a popular roulette table with party atmosphere might be better.


If all else fails, there's the 3rd option of paying to get some. Don't bother with the strip clubs, you'll be milked dry to be teased. The most popular strip joints in LV are run by Russian mob. Get a taxi and ask where the private fun places with Russian girls are. They're located off-strip and move around on regular basis. You go in, pay the $$, they bring out a line up of girls, pick you girl and off you go. There are also many AMP's, but quality and service varies.
Last edited by momopi on Sat Oct 10, 2009 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:44 am

What is a nampa?

Russian girls? Are you talking about a brothel or strip club? Strip clubs do not let you take out the girls. What are these places called?

Did you have a good experience with it?

Damn.

Your advice must be for high rollers. lol

How come none of the accounts on worldsexguide.com mention these Russian girls that you can take out? Maybe you can post your trip report there and mention them?

Usually if you pay for a girl in Vegas, it's like 400 dollars and they only give you one hour. It's a total ripoff. The big casinos have them in the mini-bar area right in the middle of the casino. They sit alone and chat you up. If you remember in the movie "Rainman", Dustin Hoffman talked to one when he sat at the mini bar.
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Postby Winston » Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:40 pm

BTW everyone,

When you're in the US, do you sense the strong lack of human connection here? Do you feel like you're all alone, like no one cares about you, like sadness and depression are always around the corner?

Some towns here have this depraved depressed vibe in them too. Have you noticed that? It's like a feeling of hopelessness or helplessness. It's very depressing.

How come some never notice that? My Taiwanese relatives here for instance, they just live their routine lives and notice nothing wrong with the lack of human connection here. As long as they have a job and family, they could care less how anti-social America is, it never enters their mind. Why is that?

Are we abnormal? Or have we opened up channels in ourselves that they haven't?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby momopi » Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:00 pm

Vinstonas wrote:What is a nampa?
Russian girls? Are you talking about a brothel or strip club? Strip clubs do not let you take out the girls. What are these places called?


Skip the strip clubs, escorts, and anything "on-strip". You'd only get teased in the strip clubs, and in-call girls will rip you off by hitting you for more $$. One of my HS friends used to run an escort service in Vegas with several girls, understand that you're dealing with not very nice people. Also dropping $500 is no where near a "high roller" in LV.

Taxi drivers are paid by strip clubs to take customers there. So if you take a taxi, the driver will want to take you to one of the popular strip clubs in Vegas so they can get $100. Notice the club employees write down the taxi license plate #'s, so they can be paid later.

AFTER the customer has blown a lot of $$ at the strip club and horny from being teased, they take another taxi AT the strip club, where the sympathetic taxi driver will understand that you got teased with no sex, then they'll suggest that they take you to see one of several "exclusive" Russian clubs off-strip, where you can get full service for $180+. If you're out of $ for that day, they'd be happy to give you their business card so you can call them later.

The taxi driver's get paid less for taking customers to the brothels, so they'd opt to take you to the strip club first if possible. At the Russian brothels you'd go in, chat with the girls in the front, then they take you to a room with some couches, and they bring in a lineup of Eastern European girls for you to choose from. You pick you girl and go have fun. Have your taxi driver wait for you outside so if anything happens, you have a ride. These places are usually located in industrial/office complex areas where you cannot easily summon a taxi without the brothel's help. The brothels move every couple of months and you'd never find it without someone taking you there. In terms of looks, they're inferior to what you'd find at Spearmint Rhino in Vegas. If the could was good enough to work at SR she wouldn't be working as a prostitute. Sorry but that's just the cold reality of things.

I was only interested in going to Spearmint Rhino to VIP with Francine Dee. If you want to do the strip club scene call them and ask for a Limo, they'll send one for free and you get VIP entry (bypass the line). If you take a taxi, ask the Taxi driver if they could get you a free admission. Don't bother with the "world sex guide" site, check with sites like "usasexguide.info" for Vegas strip club info.

Vegas is place where you go to burn money and have fun. If you got what it takes you can try nampa (pick up girls), be sure to look your best. If you're low on cash you can find popular Roulette Tables where the minimum bids are low and the people are in a party mood. See if you can chat up the people there and take them to Dim Sum later. This is easier if you're staying at the same hotel, make it very casual like "yeah everyone just meet up by the front at 11 AM" and not "what's your room #". Check yelp.com ahead for local restaurant info, the best dim sum places are not in LV Chinatown (parking is horrible there). The chances of them showing up is dependent on your ability to entice them and make them feel like it's their loss if they don't show up. If you don't know how to talk about food, study here:
http://www.ocweekly.com/restaurants/reviews

Understand that what works for me may not work for you, and just because you took girls out to lunch doesn't mean you'd be getting laid. If you want guaranteed sex for your money, go wait in the taxi line at a strip club and complain to the taxi driver that you just got ripped off, and the nice helpful taxi driver might know a "good place" where you can get laid.


Vinstonas wrote:How come some never notice that? My Taiwanese relatives here for instance, they just live their routine lives and notice nothing wrong with the lack of human connection here. As long as they have a job and family, they could care less how anti-social America is, it never enters their mind. Why is that?


They only care to be friendly with their friends. Taiwanese are far more likely to do more for their friends than Americans, and they generally prefer to maintain fewer close friends than many casual friends.

The kind of Taiwanese girls who make very large groups of casual friends tend to be into leadership roles, partying, or both. You'd find them as admins at local Asian American social networking organizations with 700+ people on their facebook list.

Networking is an excellent way to increase your social group. Get some business cards printed. Check with business card printing services like vistaprint.com, sign up but don't order anything yet. They'll send you coupons by e-mail, use them to save $ (if you're not in a hurry). What you put on the business card depends on who you're trying to meet -- figure that one out for yourself.

If you're going to put an address on your business card, for safety reasons don't list your HOME ADDRESS. Rent a PO box at an UPS store and use that instead. The address will appear like an apartment or business unit and not a PO box, i.e. 123 Mars St. #456, Mars, CA. Since it's an UPS store you can have packages shipped to it and someone there will sign for you. If you go overseas they can forward mail to you. You can also pick and choose whatever city you want to rent a box from.


p.s. hitting on girls with weakness for food/deserts will result in skinny girl -> chubby girl after few years. ya'll have been warned.
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Postby SNS » Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:25 pm

I agree with momopi's suggestions because i think he has a good take on what it takes to get in social circles in Amerikka.

But this then boils down to the one major conclusion: too much effort for so little reward IMHO. Going foreign, not just for women, but also for a sane life. The other thing that has to be mentioned here is the war being waged against men in America. When one spends time outside the anglospshere you realize just how hostile America is against men. hard core.

Plus the fact that more and more prisons are being privatized which means men get thrown in jail for any reason whatsoever. Heaven forbid that you do not have all of your permits and paperwork for your car is not in order, they will tow it away if they pull you over.

And lets not forget too all the new green lights given to the blue goons under the guise of the bullshit homeland security issues. Cops can do just about any f***ing thing they want and get away with it. Do you recall not too long ago some state trooper tasered a 65 year old woman because she did not want to sign that received a motor vehicle citation from him? i am not condoning her behavior, but the cop used too much force. Do not, I repeat do not give a blue goon any trouble if you get harassed by them for no reason. last thing you need Winston is to be detained in Femerikka indefiinitley never to return to a free part of the world.

So whereas I agree with momopi on how to make your way through america, i still have to say better to leave the wasteland. As someone else on this board put it, for those who have the means and the common sense they have already jumped ship.

Just my 2 cents.

BTW Winston you made some great observations about the states in you last few posts, great job!

PPS - also do you remember the expression that used to be used years ago: "This is America, if you don't like it then leave" well funny thing one does not hear this much these days because I think many men are taking that option of getting the f**k out. I would safely bet that there are more men expatting today then ever before, and more men in femerikka giving expat life serious consideration. This is why the hardcore stupid "hangers on" are not playing the "If you don't like it leave it" card.
Last edited by SNS on Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby momopi » Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:52 am

SaturdayNightSpecial wrote:I agree with momopi's suggestions because i think he has a good take on what it takes to get in social circles in Amerikka.

But this then boils down to the one major conclusion: too much effort for so little reward IMHO.


Oh absolutely. But, I think most places in the world offer benefits at cost in some other trade-off's. So the game is to figure out how to maximize your benefits from place to place. To draw an analogy, if you paid a lot of $ to live by the beach, it'd suck if you don't actually use the beach.
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Postby SNS » Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:57 pm

momopi wrote:
SaturdayNightSpecial wrote:I agree with momopi's suggestions because i think he has a good take on what it takes to get in social circles in Amerikka.

But this then boils down to the one major conclusion: too much effort for so little reward IMHO.


Oh absolutely. But, I think most places in the world offer benefits at cost in some other trade-off's. So the game is to figure out how to maximize your benefits from place to place. To draw an analogy, if you paid a lot of $ to live by the beach, it'd suck if you don't actually use the beach.

True. I think expatting requires some thought as to where you want, and most importantly a means of making $$$$$. But it is true that one must take advantage of the beach if one moves there.

And you are correct that there is always a trade off depending on where you go. i have a buddy of mine who lives in Ukraine. There are times when it was rough for him, where he spent a few nights sleeping in his car. But he said something to me that I think is quite true because Amerika has become shit: a bad day in a foreign country is still better than a good day in Femerikka. He's right.
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Postby Winston » Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:44 am

Here is an insightful response to my last update:

Hi Winston,

I mostly agree with you with some differences.

It is not strictly a US thing. It is common to the USA, Canada and the UK as well. That is because our attitudes in American were formed through many years of "Victorianism" combined with religion. Thus the idea is as follows in somewhat order of importance.

1 sex is dirty! It is not supposed to be a recreational activity..one needs to do it to produce children but it is wrong to enjoy it too much.

2 Religion says we should abstain except to procreate. Even many non religious will finally admit to thinking that way.

3. The Puritan work ethic says we should keep ones nose to the grindstone and ones trousers zipped.

4 The Catholic church (and most fundamentalists) say birth control is a sin and thus one should have children to further souls for the church and to keep ones lust inside the home with ones wife... and not to be discussed elsewhere.

5 One should only date or associate with people to whom they have been properly introduced, or who are members of ones same clup, church, work group etc. This is VERY English. That the person in Piccadilly square when asked for directions by a foreigner replies "Sorry but we have not been formally introduced!" If you try to daye outside of these constraints you find it very difficult in these countries.. unless you are in a bar or bordello.

6 YES some may do it but lets not talk about this shameful and dirty thing! (unless we are drunk or gay or some other minority away from mainstream thinking).

The discovery channel recently had a series "The History of Sex" and they mentioned that Queen Victoria instituted tablecloths because she feared the shapely legs of tables would incite males to unbridled LUST LOL So tables, like women should wear long skirts!

Central and Eastern Europe as well as Asia has always had a more relaxed attitude about sex. Dating in the West is considered a prelude to sexual intentions so it is all connected. In the West women will think (when you ask them out) that you are "hitting on them" with the intention of sex. The barriers fly up and they become defensive where anything you say will be interpreted as "a pickup line" (pickup for sex).

If women initiate it.. they are HO's or Sluts and hitting on the man to get laid. Knowing that, women always hold back in the West.

Things in the USA, Canada and UK are not likely to mellow out anytime soon.. While sexual minorities and attitudes are out there probably 75% of Americans feel like the above.... decent people should not behave like that.

NOW VEGAS promotes itself as an area where people can go and "be naughty" and let it remain there so family, church and friends need not know what you may have done. Things as innocent as binge eating, gambleing (also sinful) excessive drinking, watching naughty entertainment or cheating with someone else s wife. One is promised they can fly home and back to their Baptist Church with no one the wiser about their behavior!

THAT'S the whole scheme of "what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas!"
Yes I have seen it oo... off the strip, Vegas is really a very seedy place

Andrew
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Postby Winston » Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:47 am

Here's a weird response I got that I think is dead wrong. What is this guy smoking?!

I think its all in your head- Ive lived in Russia, Ive been to the
Phillipines for 2 weeks, lived in Thailand, Minneapolis, LA and I live
in NY now. People are the same everywhere.

Minnesota is known as one of the most closed, cliquesh, unfriendly
places in America, probably similar to your hometown in Washington.
The term "minnesota nice" means polite, but ultimately distant and
disinterested. I arrived in 2005 in Minneapolis with a job and
apartment and not a single friend. Despite all the warnings about how
hard it is there to meet people, suggestions that I join a "support
group" for minnesota "transplants" (which was actually included in my
company's new employee package), I had no trouble creating a social
circle.

I did what I did in every place Ive been- I created some value to add
to people's lives and I leveraged social dynamics. In Minnesota, I
had a nice patio and indoor pool and jaccuzzi at my apartment
buildings, so I starting telling everyone I met (from work, from bars
I went to alone at first, girls I approached, etc) that I was having a
huge BBQ and pool party. When dozens of people showed up three weeks
later they just assumed I was very popular and had lots of friends.
The people who came had fun and I added value to their lives. One of
the girls I had invited stayed the night. I had the same party a few
weeks later and was more selective about who was invited, and after a
few months I had plenty of people who prioritized getting me to like
them.

In Russia and the Phillipines you added value to peoples lives just by
being an American and a foreigner (in Russia because of curiosity and
prestige, in the Phillipines because of some persisting myths about
foriengers having wealth), but without that very temporary advantage
you will get treated with the same disinterest as anywhere unless you
bring people value and then leverage social dynamics to make them work
for it. Already in much of Russia nobody could care less if you are
American and will ignore you. In some clubs in Manila and Cebu I
noticed the same thing among the more worldy Filipinos. Soon this
attitude of contempt will spread to the smallest most removed villages
and everyone on earth will be closed to you unless you provide them
some other value.

IS


My response to him:

Some simple facts prove you wrong.

I know some poor Filipino guys. And NONE of them complain that girls are antisocial or uanpproachable in their country. No one in Europe complains about that too. That's only in the US.

Why do you think there is no PUA industry in other countries like in the US?

No other country has so many nice guys who can't meet girls like in the US. I have tons of testimonies to prove it, including the guy from Belgium that I posted.

GIrls in Philippines and Russia think I'm chinese, not American. They are simply more approachable and open, without a force field. It's not cause of my American passport. God your mind is so narrow and wrong.

You assume that everyone has a force field and is antisocial by nature, unless they have ulterior motives. That is NOT true. Most of the world is not like that and most of human history has not been like that.

BTW, I've gone out with middle class girls in the Philippines too, who could care less about my citizenship.

Heck, Dianne doesn't even want to go to the US and refuses to do so!

GOTCHA!
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:02 am

Here's from a girl who feels the same way as me. I didn't know Koreans could be so warm and kind!

Hello Winston Wu!

Long time, no see! Sorry about the lack of e-mail, I've been busy.

I would sooooo like to comment on this e-mail that you sent! This part especially caught my attention:

"I'm beginning to notice something, that in the US, there is something, some vibe perhaps, that makes you feel fragmented and empty on the inside, as though making you feel like "you're not good enough". It's a very bad place for mental health and self-esteem, that's for sure. Sensitive people are not cut out for America. It's just too easy to feel depressed and sad. You know what I mean? Anyone else notice that too?"

"Also I notice very clearly that there's a lack of human connection here, as though everyone were in their own world consuming and afraid of everyone else. But the thing is, other people seem totally oblivious to it, as though they don't notice it, except me. I feel like the only sane person, as usual.

I seem to be the only one bringing this into public attention with this website, as anyone else who feels that way will be told to blame themselves.

People tend to deny their weaknesses, and so do countries, and America is no exception. The US shields itself from criticism by telling complainers that the problem is them. There's a whole denial thing going on that I see.

It's like a Twilight Zone experience being back in the US. I am able to see things a lot more clearly from a neutral standpoint, than I ever did before."


Omigosh! I thought I was the only one! Remember that marathon e-mail that I sent you many months ago in which I mentioned that I was happy in Germany, but felt like an out-and-out outcast in the U.S.? I thought it was ironic to feel out of place in my birth country so I kept telling myself that I needed to do things to fit in, but nothing I did seemed to work. On top of that, I was constantly told by family and so-called friend that I wasn't good enough, I was too weird, I would never amount to anything, etc. People wonder why I kept to myself so much? LOL!

People (especially black Americans) told me I was out of my mind for even considering the thought of leaving the U.S. Heck, even I believed I was losing it, but now that I'm in South Korea I feel that I made the right choice. I had to deal with some rough moments, but the good outweighed the bad. Sometimes being a "foreigner" and being different sucks, and sometimes it's a blessing in disguise. Some people find my "foreigness" interesting and they work up the nerve to talk to me, lol.

It has been almost ten months, and I have been invited into people's homes and everything! There was a major holiday recently called Chuseok and I was invited to a Korean family's home to celebrate because they were worried about me being all alone, lol. I offered to help the family prepare food, and that was quite interesting!

What I notice is that family is very important here in South Korea. People do everything together! Being an American, I thought it was weird that Korean adult children still lived with their parents until marriage, but now it seems to make sense. Why do American parents practically force their children out at the age of 18?

Even if you're not related by blood, once you're in good with Koreans (and break past the "ice barrier") that's it! Take my Korean
friends, for example? On Saturdays we meet up in Seoul and act absolutely stupid together! It's like we're siblings or something! We go shopping together, go sight-seeing together, and when we eat out at restaurants we finish what's on each other's plates as if we're family members or something.

I now realize that I'm not weird and that in fact I'm quite normal. I just didn't fit in in America. I have an easier time making friends here in South Korea, which seems to defy American logic. I thought that having dark skin would be a major problem here, but I realize that it's only a problem if I turn it into one. Other than people staring at me or making rude comments, it's not that big of a deal. I had to deal with the same crap in America, so I'm not surprised.

People call America "The Land of Opportunity" but ironically I find many opportunities here in South Korea that I couldn't find in America. The great thing about living in South Korea is that I can hop a plane and quickly travel to other nearby Asian countries. Language learning is highly encouraged here, since there are so many different countries nearby. In the U.S. I was seen as a weirdo and a traitor because of my love for foreign languages. Here in Asia, I fit right in!

I'd better go now, it's lunch time. People will actually come looking for me, lol. Have a great day!

Sincerely,

Juanita
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Winston
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