Happier Abroad Forum Community

I have been a long time lurker on this forum (since 2006) and I am finally taking the plunge and joining up. I am very grateful to have found this website, because I agree with a great deal of what is said here. I am looking forward to having interesting conversations and discussions with the members here. A little bit about myself:

I am 30, born and raised as an American, but now consider myself a "citizen of the world." Like Winston and others on here, I too had a horrible adolescent social life. I had a hard time meeting and connecting with girls, not so much because of physical attraction issues (I live a very healthy lifestyle and take good care of my body) but mostly because of a severe lack of common interests. It felt like I was from a different planet than they were. There are just many things about the current American/Western lifestyle and culture that I find abhorrent (rap music, binge drinking, superficial conversations, obsessions with celebrities, pro sports, obsessions with tattoos and piercings, just about everything that 95% of the youth population likes to do) that I just couldn't really connect with anyone, male or female, on a meaningful level. I found that throughout high school and college, just about all of my true friends came from somewhere outside of the US including Bangladesh, India, Romania, China, Japan, Mexico, Brazil, Russia, Kazakhstan, and just about everywhere else. I started wondering if there was something about these other countries' cultures that made me get along with those people better. I had an inkling about this when I was in college, but it never really was confirmed for me until I went to study abroad in Japan in 2002. My semester abroad in Osaka was the most exciting time of my life. Over there, I did not have to jump through hoops or play lots of games to get attention from girls, the girls came and talked to me! Most of my friends in Japan were and still are female. After my stint in Japan, I knew that I was most likely going to end up with a girl who was not from the US.

This feeling was proven correct in 2006 when I went to China to teach English and met the woman who would eventually become my wife. We were married in 2008, and we have been going strong for 3 years! I have always been a fan of this forum, because I really feel that I have a lot in common with the majority of posters here. Hopefully, more of my personal stories from my life will resonate with some of you, and we can discuss and come up with some solutions to issues that are facing us currently. Thank you for having me here.

good luck man...enjoy.

but dont ever allow her to step one foot in the USA tho....in fact dont even let her watch Oprah or any fat american bitch on tv.

congrats and take care.

Bane wrote:I have been a long time lurker on this forum (since 2006) and I am finally taking the plunge and joining up. I am very grateful to have found this website, because I agree with a great deal of what is said here. I am looking forward to having interesting conversations and discussions with the members here. A little bit about myself:

I am 30, born and raised as an American, but now consider myself a "citizen of the world." Like Winston and others on here, I too had a horrible adolescent social life. I had a hard time meeting and connecting with girls, not so much because of physical attraction issues (I live a very healthy lifestyle and take good care of my body) but mostly because of a severe lack of common interests. It felt like I was from a different planet than they were. There are just many things about the current American/Western lifestyle and culture that I find abhorrent (rap music, binge drinking, superficial conversations, obsessions with celebrities, pro sports, obsessions with tattoos and piercings, just about everything that 95% of the youth population likes to do) that I just couldn't really connect with anyone, male or female, on a meaningful level. I found that throughout high school and college, just about all of my true friends came from somewhere outside of the US including Bangladesh, India, Romania, China, Japan, Mexico, Brazil, Russia, Kazakhstan, and just about everywhere else. I started wondering if there was something about these other countries' cultures that made me get along with those people better. I had an inkling about this when I was in college, but it never really was confirmed for me until I went to study abroad in Japan in 2002. My semester abroad in Osaka was the most exciting time of my life. Over there, I did not have to jump through hoops or play lots of games to get attention from girls, the girls came and talked to me! Most of my friends in Japan were and still are female. After my stint in Japan, I knew that I was most likely going to end up with a girl who was not from the US.

This feeling was proven correct in 2006 when I went to China to teach English and met the woman who would eventually become my wife. We were married in 2008, and we have been going strong for 3 years! I have always been a fan of this forum, because I really feel that I have a lot in common with the majority of posters here. Hopefully, more of my personal stories from my life will resonate with some of you, and we can discuss and come up with some solutions to issues that are facing us currently. Thank you for having me here.

You are correct. There's something about "foreign" cultures that isn't so "foreign/alien" to normal mankind. There are stark contrasts between those cultures and western "civil"-ization. I am glad you have many friends in those countries you have mentioned. However, do you try to learn their cultures, or you only speak to them in English?

I feel there are too many lazy cats on this forum that are gaga for the Philippines because they don't really have to learn another language, which I think is atrocious in it's own right. Go America. Keep on thinking that English is the language of business for the next few generations. Keep on keeping on.

Welcome Bane. Glad to hear your success story. And glad you finally de-lurked too. I'm envious that you found a great Chinese wife. I am dreaming of the same...

Winston

Thanks Everyone,

EIrizzary (sp) to answer your question, yes I did try to learn about the cultures I visited. I also communicate with my friends both in their native language and in English. I speak four languages (Spanish, Japanese, Chinese) in addition to English. As far as culture goes, I appreciate those cultures much more than America, which I find to be utter trash.

We do have a TV, but only for me to play the occasional Japanese made video game. If it wasn't for that, I don't think I would even own a TV. My wife and I only watch Chinese, Korean and Indian films/TV shows on the computer, as nothing good has come out of Hollyweird for at least 15 years.

Bane wrote:Thanks Everyone,

EIrizzary (sp) to answer your question, yes I did try to learn about the cultures I visited. I also communicate with my friends both in their native language and in English. I speak four languages (Spanish, Japanese, Chinese) in addition to English. As far as culture goes, I appreciate those cultures much more than America, which I find to be utter trash.

We do have a TV, but only for me to play the occasional Japanese made video game. If it wasn't for that, I don't think I would even own a TV. My wife and I only watch Chinese, Korean and Indian films/TV shows on the computer, as nothing good has come out of Hollyweird for at least 15 years.

Thank you for not taking offense to my post. It's more out of frustration than out of disrespect to the next man. See, it's one thing if one is rough around the edges in a foreign language, but at least they are trying to respect and learn about the culture. That's very important and pertinent to a man becoming emancipated from the e. coli-ridden labia of the Amerivenusflytrap matrix and in effort of leaving pompous-ignorant American culture in the dust.

I'm glad you realize that the idiot box is just that. It's a medium for propaganda from western and sometimes non-western cultures. Stick around on the forum if you'd like to.

Thanks,

Actually, the reason why I decided to "un-lurk" is due to an issue I've been having recently. I'll start my own thread to talk about this later when I have more free time.

Nice story, congrats bro, enjoy!

Would love to hear an update 7 years later. I am also married to a mainland Chinese woman, although we live in the US currently.

I will also get married within the next two years to a mainlander. I am an American East Asian living in China. Success stories do happen for HA'ers.

Bane wrote: ↑

July 31st, 2011, 6:31 pm

I am 30, born and raised as an American, but now consider myself a "citizen of the world." Like Winston and others on here, I too had a horrible adolescent social life. I had a hard time meeting and connecting with girls, not so much because of physical attraction issues (I live a very healthy lifestyle and take good care of my body) but mostly because of a severe lack of common interests. It felt like I was from a different planet than they were. There are just many things about the current American/Western lifestyle and culture that I find abhorrent (rap music, binge drinking, superficial conversations, obsessions with celebrities, pro sports, obsessions with tattoos and piercings, just about everything that 95% of the youth population likes to do) that I just couldn't really connect with anyone, male or female, on a meaningful level.

So basically you're an undiagnosed western autistic that fits better in China where people are more like machines

Any photos of your wedding @Bane?

Did you search out all his posts? I don't think he stayed w his Chinese wife. He hasn't posted here since 2015.