Any female members here?

Miggins · Post by **Miggins** » December 11th, 2011, 1:16 pm

Hi, I'm a Canadian girl. I really like the anti-feminist, anti-North American content of your website. It's nice to get a real male perspective on things for a change, as opposed to the "toned down" versions I've seen elsewhere.

From my point of view, it's just too bad that all the best "free-thinking" websites are for men. Independent thought for women usually heads in the direction of spiritual mumbo-jumbo, which I find tiresome. Men are more interesting, intellectually.

publicduende · Post by **publicduende** » December 11th, 2011, 1:25 pm

Hi there, a warm welcome! I haven't been for very long but haven't spotted any active (= posting) female members yet. Enjoy the contents and we look forward to your contributions to the discussions.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » December 11th, 2011, 1:38 pm

Jeinmy Paul from Dominican Republic is a woman who posts here sometimes. She is pretty new though.

Bella Ruth, a British female, posted prolifically before and was probably on the same page as you based on your intro. But she dropped-off and hasn't posted for months.

colibri · Post by **colibri** » December 11th, 2011, 7:59 pm

Hey everybody

! i ve been cheking happier abroad 4 a while , so i decided to join the comunity , and i realized taht they are few women araound here :

, i ll introduce myself properly later

! promess !

djfourmoney · Post by **djfourmoney** » December 12th, 2011, 7:02 am

All women are welcome here, even if some of the anti-feminist rants go a bit too far.

Feel free to jump into any topic you choose.

BellaRuth · Post by **BellaRuth** » December 14th, 2011, 9:33 am

I'm still here, just returned for PMs. I don't post very often because my viewpoint has switched to the complete opposite from when I joined. But I'm happy to come back from time to time

And yes, I'm a female!

Post by **Winston** » December 14th, 2011, 10:22 am

Welcome Miggins!

Nice to see a female appreciate this site. Yes we have a few female members here, but they only post from time to time.

What part of Canada are you from? Is the feminism bad there too?

You are very perceptive to see that men are better and truer freethinkers, who tell it like it is, are more down to earth, and have more substantive meaningful insights, which is in stark contrast to how Hollywood portrays men.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » December 14th, 2011, 10:24 am

BellaRuth wrote:I'm still here, just returned for PMs. I don't post very often because my viewpoint has switched to the complete opposite from when I joined. But I'm happy to come back from time to time

And yes, I'm a female!

Hmm, I bet that comment sparked some curiosity with several members, me being one of them. If you've changed your viewpoint, that's cool, 'toe ole respect' as Ali G might say. But please share.

- Is the viewpoint you're referring too feminism, casual relationships vs. LT relationships, something else, etc.?

- What made you change your viewpoint (catalyst)?

You seemed to have pretty strong views before plus you are already mid-20s and seem mature beyond your years. So just wondering why the sudden 180 degree shift.

BellaRuth · Post by **BellaRuth** » December 14th, 2011, 11:41 am

Rock wrote:
BellaRuth wrote:I'm still here, just returned for PMs. I don't post very often because my viewpoint has switched to the complete opposite from when I joined. But I'm happy to come back from time to time

And yes, I'm a female!
Hmm, I bet that comment sparked some curiosity with several members, me being one of them. If you've changed your viewpoint, that's cool, 'toe ole respect' as Ali G might say. But please share.

- Is the viewpoint you're referring too feminism, casual relationships vs. LT relationships, something else, etc.?

- What made you change your viewpoint (catalyst)?
posting.php?mode=quote&p=60905
You seemed to have pretty strong views before plus you are already mid-20s and seem mature beyond your years. So just wondering why the sudden 180 degree shift.

I discovered this site by accident after trying to search for a survery I once read which had the words 'happier abroad' in the title, because I was thinking of moving abroad. I wanted a lower cost of living and better weather. I didn't realise this forum was more about relationships and finding casual sex easier outside of America, so my stance on relationships and feminism etc. is exactly the same (I've always been a traditional sort and never into feminism). It's my view on my own country that's changed. Encouraged by the posts on here, I bought into the idea that mainland Europe was 'better' than the UK, the people friendlier, the lifestyle more sociable, the diet healthier- idyllic countries filled with thinner, better-looking and happier people (and more sunshine). I knew a lot of what was said about the UK was flat-out wrong, but it seems the message still filtered into my mind that I should go somewhere else. I started noticing my country's bad points more and ignoring all the good points.

Then I went travelling and realised how naive I'd been. I no longer want to move at all. I enjoyed visiting the other countries but am very happy living in the UK. I'm finally listening to the immigrants who've come here and love it here instead of ignoring their opinions as I did before. I've realised how great the lifestyle actually is, how the food is much better here (for me), how everyone is just as friendly, sociable and happy, if not more. I massively underrated the UK and overrated and romanticised mainland Europe. I came here to research where I should move to, and no longer need to go looking. The other countries were absolutely fantastic though, and I'm planning on going back as soon as I can to see more- it's just that I realised my own country was just as great, and perhaps better in some areas.

And I don't want to evangelise or try to change people's minds, so I'm not sure what I have left to say here

After all, this forum is more about America, I've never been, and what you guys say may well be 100% true about America. I just went on my own little journey and ended up going full-circle. I don't think it's applicable to anyone else here that I know of.

It's still interesting to come back and read what's going on, though.

Post by **Winston** » December 14th, 2011, 10:07 pm

BellaRuth,

How do you explain why 78 percent of British expats are happier abroad then?

http://britishexpats.com/news/latest/happier-abroad/

BellaRuth · Post by **BellaRuth** » December 15th, 2011, 3:38 am

Winston wrote:BellaRuth,

How do you explain why 78 percent of British expats are happier abroad then?

http://britishexpats.com/news/latest/happier-abroad/

Did you not like my previous answer to this in PM?

I can only speak for myself, and I've never been outside of Europe (apart from Turkey). But I can give a good guess.

As far as I can tell, the main reason for British people wanting to move abroad and staying there is the weather and the more outdoorsy lifestyle that comes from it. My dad has wanted to move outside of the UK his whole life, just for more sunshine. He wouldn't want anything else to change at all. This might be the reason why in a lot of warmer countries British people seek each other out to form little communities so they can give each other tips on where to buy this or that. One of my sisters lives in Cyprus purely for the weather and loves it there, but her social life is no better and she seeks out shops she recognises such as Marks and Spencer to buy things from. Another sister used to live in Spain- same story. This probably explains why Australia is the most popular expat destination for British people- great weather, not a massive cultural difference. That alone should point out that it's not a big draw for most Brits to change their culture as they're happy with it.

I'm the complete opposite. I like good weather but hate too much heat and sun so it's not a big draw for me, and I was looking to completely change culture, language, diet, lifestyle, everything. I wanted a totally new way of life, and found that the way of life in other European countries is totally on par with here. Europe in general is pretty much the same quality wherever you go (not been to Eastern Europe). The people are exactly the same once you get over language barrier and are no more happy-looking, sociable or approachable than here. Of course there are differences, but for me the cultural shocks came with food, road conditions, a bit of fashion... not much else to speak of.

Looking at the countries mentioned in the survery where Brits are happiest, all of those fit the 'great weather, no cultural change' idea. If there was a special issue with British culture I'd expect to see expats happiest in somewhere wildly different such as Peru or Malaysia, not Spain and New Zealand. Not sure if you're familiar with Spain but it has a MASSIVE British community ranging from the most alcohol-fuelled party-goers to the more educated class. There's something for everyone and I didn't notice Spain having a cultural difference to speak of even when you go into the small towns, again once you get over the language barrier and the quaint differences such as goat shepherds and the like. Their food isn't too different either, a bit more salty, but easily adjusted to, and with the other Northern Europeans there (many Swedes and Danes) it's incredibly easy for a Brit to feel at home there.

I may move abroad one day, for a different experience in general, and I love the other European countries, but I no longer think of us as lacking in any way. Europe in general is a wonderful continent and I can't wait to go back to the countries I've visited and see new ones for the first time. I've just learnt that, for me as a Brit, and wanting to move to the mainland, the grass is just as green here as on the other side.

Hope this helps.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » December 15th, 2011, 5:25 am

Thanks for your detailed answer Bella Ruth. I see you as a good old friend of this forum as you've had many detailed exchanges with members here in the past. Glad you are still reading the posts and here in spirit.

What you say about weather makes sense to me. I'm from cold Illinois. But on my last trip to the States, I spent about a month in Fort Myers, FL (SW coast with sub-tropical sunny climate). The abundance of modern architecture, bright colors, bright sunny days, and warm weather really lifted my spirits. I realized that one of the reason I find Illinois so depressing is the cold weather and short late fall / winter / early spring days. Weather and visual environment can have a huge impact on one's day-to-day emotional states.

Post by **Winston** » December 15th, 2011, 6:54 am

BellaRuth,
Well I agree that all of Europe is great and cultured. But perhaps if you try Russia or Eastern Europe, you might experience a very different culture and people.

Have you seen these videos of mine?
http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php

If so, would you say that most women in the UK are that approachable, as show in my clips?

I think once you experience America, and try to meet women there, you'll know what we are talking about. Maybe you can dress up as a guy, lol, so you can experience first hand what we talk about.

You can also listen to American women rants on YouTube and get an idea of what they're like too, and see how feminine or down to earth they really are. lol

For example, BellaRuth, can you imagine trying to get along with this, or trying to court her?

adria2789 · Post by **adria2789** » December 15th, 2011, 11:56 am

Welcome Miggins,

I am a female member of this forum but don't post too often. I'm more of a lurker than anything. It's nice to read the male's perspective on things.

Do you have any plans to go abroad?

BellaRuth · Post by **BellaRuth** » December 15th, 2011, 12:13 pm

I hope I'm not hijacking the thread here.

Winston wrote:Well I agree that all of Europe is great and cultured. But perhaps if you try Russia or Eastern Europe, you might experience a very different culture and people.

I'm sure Eastern Europe is very different. I've only been to Western and Southern Europe. The Eastern Europeans that live here don't seem different at all though. I know quite a few (there's lots of Eastern European immigrants in UK) and there's no big personality change. Some (who were very good at English) I thought were actually British, if a different dialect. There may be a big culture shock in the country itself though. Take away the language and accent and I'm not sure you'd notice any significant changes.

Have you seen these videos of mine?
http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php

If so, would you say that most women in the UK are that approachable, as show in my clips?

I think we are just as friendly and approachable as French or Italians. I don't have direct experience with Russians and it's hard to tell from a clip, but I can never see a stark difference between French/Italians and us apart from language (except the Brits are more polite and less abrupt). Some of us are more reserved, some will think it's a lot of fun to talk to a tourist. It will also differ a lot if you go to London or a small Yorkshire town. It really is hard to generalise, but I find people very approachable here. It's so easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger on a train or in a queue- if you're very sociable, you'll attract sociable people here, but if you're quiet it'll be understood you want to be alone.

If you come here in a sociable happy mood I really can't envision you having any issues. I'm sure someone would end up adopting you and showing you round and taking you for a night out if that's what you're looking for, especially in certain areas (not sure about London, which can be a bit more aloof, like all capitals).

I think once you experience America, and try to meet women there, you'll know what we are talking about. Maybe you can dress up as a guy, lol, so you can experience first hand what we talk about.

Maybe. I read that girls my age (26 now) often go shopping in pyjamas and slippers. That'd be unacceptable here. I have heard one horror story about this here, in a small town where a guy saw two girls go for a takeaway Macdonalds breakfast in their pyjamas, but that was viewed as a crazy/funny story and not a normal thing. So undoubtedly there's some differences. Sometimes I suspect the lower-class here (the living-off-the-state types) are on par with the girls you talk about in the US (fat, drink too much, unfeminine) but you can't judge an entire country by its lowest denominator. The UK is more than its lower class and dead-end council estates/ghettos. I know that the same type of people are prevalent in every other country too (France has LOADS of 'chavs' and Colombia has more than it's fair share of tack, to name two places adored on here). I get the impression from this forum that America is unique in that there's no difference between the quality of lower-class girls and all others.

As an aside, last night I saw a nature documentary that was banned in America (about the warming of the ice caps- know why?) and I just saw another documentary on the plight of 'new homeless' in the States- families living in tents. This causes me to wonder why America is censoring his kind of (harmless?) information and why it is allowing its people to live in cars and tents. Again- there are major differences between here and there, otherwise we wouldn't have to alter children's stories or programmes when selling them to the States. Sometimes I suspect the common language leads to the assumption that we are the same. If more Americans knew French, Spanish, etc. they might realise Brits are not that close to them after all.

For example, BellaRuth, can you imagine trying to get along with this, or trying to court her?

She just seems really immature in manner. I'd suspect there's many girls her age who are more mature. I have seen some great websites by mature, elegant American women, so I suspect they're out there. Here is a personal fave: http://www.elegantwoman.org/ I also have seen a little bit of 'sororities' which we don't have here, they seem to reward classy, refined behaviour? I guess I'll have to visit one day. I plan to