Happier Abroad Forum Community

DarkMinxMish wrote:Hi Kunita!

HI brandie

Hello Simon and Winston,

Yeah I like poetry and I like to write. My favorite poets are Edgar Allen Poe, John Keats, William Blake, Robert Frost, and such. Though my favorite poems are Goblin Market and The Lady of Shallot ~sighs~ if I could write half as well as that I'd be ecstatic. I'm into art and stuff along those line and then I fell in love with mythology, fantasy, and the Pre-Raphaelites when I was in school. I haven't read Our Mothers though I have to check that out. Yeah I like the site so far and it's balance of advice and opinons. The trolls are apart of life so no harm.

As for how did I get the way I am um...lol I'm just a naturally curious person who grew up drawing and reading tons.
I don't like people to tell me what to do and how to think of course, but I'm not against taking in info or advice.
Also to me it isn't that odd for there to be females like me in the U.S. I mean it just depends on the crowd you hang with and the types of people you are exposed to. If your only exposed to the people on your block, or city then you'll have a pretty narrow point of view.
This is solely my opinion, but if some guys have been burned or turned off by U.S women then so be it. But that leaves you looking at all the others with a bias that the few who did that to you left.

There are plenty of intelligent smart women out there it's just that maybe on the surface it doesn't seem so.
Once you get to know someone or hang around them you can be completely surprised by what you'll discover about someone and that there is far more depth in them then what was once thought.

I just learned not to take people for granted and life experience has taught me to keep an open mind.
A lot of American men and women are smart. It's just the one's that are scared to be so or who are dummies(ignorant to the facts) that drag the rest of us down. Plus I like to question things even if that means playing the devils advocate and having people despise me for a while.
I don't really mind, because I find it amusing usually.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a plastic world and it suffocates me to the point where I have to have solitary time away from people.
It's draining, depressing, and irritating, but I've learned to suck it up. I have felt out of step with people like my morals and views are either old fashioned, backwards, or I' come from a different world. I see nothing wrong with not being greedy, rude, and in the rat race 24/7.
I know there something wrong with this country, but I'm not sure how to fix it....but of course my friends and family think I'm naive and spacy/odd/crazy. I doesn't really phase me like it use to. I know I live in a sick society and I'm aware of that.

DarkMinxMish wrote:Hello Simon and Winston,

Yeah I like poetry and I like to write. My favorite poets are Edgar Allen Poe, John Keats, William Blake, Robert Frost, and such. Though my favorite poems are Goblin Market and The Lady of Shallot ~sighs~ if I could write half as well as that I'd be ecstatic. I'm into art and stuff along those line and then I fell in love with mythology, fantasy, and the Pre-Raphaelites when I was in school. I haven't read Our Mothers though I have to check that out. Yeah I like the site so far and it's balance of advice and opinons. The trolls are apart of life so no harm.

As for how did I get the way I am um...lol I'm just a naturally curious person who grew up drawing and reading tons.
I don't like people to tell me what to do and how to think of course, but I'm not against taking in info or advice.
Also to me it isn't that odd for there to be females like me in the U.S. I mean it just depends on the crowd you hang with and the types of people you are exposed to. If your only exposed to the people on your block, or city then you'll have a pretty narrow point of view.
This is solely my opinion, but if some guys have been burned or turned off by U.S women then so be it. But that leaves you looking at all the others with a bias that the few who did that to you left.

There are plenty of intelligent smart women out there it's just that maybe on the surface it doesn't seem so.
Once you get to know someone or hang around them you can be completely surprised by what you'll discover about someone and that there is far more depth in them then what was once thought.

I just learned not to take people for granted and life experience has taught me to keep an open mind.
A lot of American men and women are smart. It's just the one's that are scared to be so or who are dummies(ignorant to the facts) that drag the rest of us down. Plus I like to question things even if that means playing the devils advocate and having people despise me for a while.
I don't really mind, because I find it amusing usually.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a plastic world and it suffocates me to the point where I have to have solitary time away from people.
It's draining, depressing, and irritating, but I've learned to suck it up. I have felt out of step with people like my morals and views are either old fashioned, backwards, or I' come from a different world. I see nothing wrong with not being greedy, rude, and in the rat race 24/7.
I know there something wrong with this country, but I'm not sure how to fix it....but of course my friends and family think I'm naive and spacy/odd/crazy. I doesn't really phase me like it use to. I know I live in a sick society and I'm aware of that.

I'm surprised you haven't said Maya Angelou. Not that I like her; I don't.

Why don't you like Maya Angelou?

Maya Angelou is cool I like her poetry, but I don't read it as much. When I hear it though it gives you a feeling of her strength and depth as a person and a woman. Her poetry is quite lovely.

I only don't like how with that Phenomenol Woman piece that had gone viral even before the advent of the Internet had every feminist eating it up wholesale.

Yeah I remember hearing Janet Jackson recite it on the movie "Poetic Justice". It not so much a confirmation/backing for feminism, as it is a positive reinforcement for being a women and loving oneself. To take a look at yourself and accept you despite all of the flaws and drawbacks. Since society especially western society has always held women as a commodity to shape and form at it's own will. It doesn't always see or want to see female as a full fledge being who is a single entity with mystery, purpose, and the right to exist solely in her own energy.

DarkMinxMish wrote: This is solely my opinion, but if some guys have been burned or turned off by U.S women then so be it. But that leaves you looking at all the others with a bias that the few who did that to you left.

That may be true in theory. However, the reality is that for many men, the odds are simply extreme. Every decent woman in the US is super picky. Some even reject 100 percent of their admirers. Many guys get blown off by 100 percent of women they meet. It's really that bad, no kidding! After 1000 women reject you, flake out on you, give you fake numbers, screen out your calls, make excuses not to see you, or just want to be friends, you too will overgeneralize them. Sometimes extreme generalizations are justified, as in this case. It's one of those things you have to experience to really understand. Either way, the odds are overwhelmingly against many guys. Some guys always get rejected, others get dates but they turn out to be psycho, and others have to wait 2 or 3 years just to meet one girl that will date them.

DarkMinxMish,
Check out my new PowerPoint presentation. It's very compelling and easy to understand. Let me know what you think.

http://www.happierabroad.com/HappierAbroad.ppsx

Winston wrote:

DarkMinxMish wrote: This is solely my opinion, but if some guys have been burned or turned off by U.S women then so be it. But that leaves you looking at all the others with a bias that the few who did that to you left.

That may be true in theory. However, the reality is that for many men, the odds are simply extreme. Every decent woman in the US is super picky. Some even reject 100 percent of their admirers. Many guys get blown off by 100 percent of women they meet. It's really that bad, no kidding! After 1000 women reject you, flake out on you, give you fake numbers, screen out your calls, make excuses not to see you, or just want to be friends, you too will overgeneralize them. Sometimes extreme generalizations are justified, as in this case. It's one of those things you have to experience to really understand. Either way, the odds are overwhelmingly against many guys. Some guys always get rejected, others get dates but they turn out to be psycho, and others have to wait 2 or 3 years just to meet one girl that will date them.

Winston I get what your saying it's tough for men to find someone who isn't picky, superficial, and fickle. I think the culture is as much to blame as some of the women are though. But yeah if you were denied that many times that's more then enough to lower someone's self esteem and put some cracks in the armor. But don't think it's that different for women though. The same thing happens to us and many women are highly insecure and really don't take rejection well period. I know if I really liked someone and they rejected me that would have me closed off for weeks. Not only did I put myself out there, but I'd overanalyze it and think I did something stupid in the end. Dating is hard for most people and with the highly superficial attitudes floating around now it's getting worst. A lot of people I have liked I don't usually take the chance to tell them, because rejection is terrifying personally.
So maybe some girls since cliques are important to most females save face or try to look suave by rejecting men.
I've seen it before and it's pretty bad and some girls might want to talk w/o the group, but appearances/loyalties run deep.
The nice waiter, cashier, or whatever is usually passed over by women who feel their beneath them or who are trying to move up in a economical sense.

Overall though I see where your coming from.

DarkMinxMish,
Seriously, come on now, women can't really complain. They get hit on by TONS of guys everyday! They have so many choices. They can have sex any time they want. How can they complain or be insecure? They have nothing to complain about in regard to dating. How can you even compare our situation with theirs?

Well maybe it's just different views from the opposite sex...
Of course we can agree to disagree. I'm not saying what your claiming is invalid or not true. It's just that if you guys go through it then females do to. Females who aren't fairly attractive, girly, or noticeable have problems with dating as well. Not everyone is confident and people of either sex face rejection fairly enough. Some girls never find anyone, others have to wait, and some get married early on.
People get lonely with enough let downs, but I think you guys are at a disadvantage in a sense.

Reality is people have to meet and connect to get to know someone. People have to build up to economical standards, not every guy is Brad Pitt and not every girl is a super model. Our society standards are absurd and highly unrealistic. Most of our good guys are blue collar workers and in jobs some females ignore.
Especially younger women because of Jersey Shore, the Hills and other craptastic "reality" shows that present a snobby, promiscuous, fickle, leisure filled lifestyles where material and good looking rich jerks matter only.

But we aren't talking about fat ugly people here. We are talking about proportionate decent looking people. Every decent looking girl has too many choices and is near impossible to get. But there are many guys who are decent looking who can't get any dates and don't have any choices. There is no denying that that is totally imbalanced.

So how can you say that it's bad on both sides, given that every decent woman has too many choices and gets too many offers for dates?

Try putting up an ok looking girl's profile on an American dating site. Notice how many replies she gets, A LOT. Try the same with a fairly ok looking guy, and compare the results. You will find a HUGE difference.

Look at my summary here, which puts it in perspective:

http://www.happierabroad.com/globaldating.php

1. Around 80 percent of the women seek the top 20 percent of men (in terms of looks, status and money), leaving 80 percent of men to either settle or remain dateless. The average single woman in America has far more choices than the average single man. That is a certainty. With so many choices, they can afford to play games, be super picky, treat men badly, demand perfection, etc. yet still be sought after by many desperate men. When an American woman says "There are no good men" what she means is that the top 20 percent of guys in the dating scene have not chosen them.

2. Single men outnumber single women, as evidenced in these stats (possibly due in part to the large influx of male immigrant workers). This means that there are too many men competing for too few women, giving women too many choices and men too few. Anyone can see this both in real life and in online personals, where women receive hundreds of times more responses than men do. And of course, they are far pickier.

3. Most women are either corrupted by feminism to become masculine, indepdendent and not need men. Or else they are totally messed up with ridiculous standards, unfeminine qualities, narcissistic egos, fake personalities, flaky/flighty behaviors, self-delusions, hateful spoiled attitudes, cold hearts, and other toxic traits. Moreover, most of them are either overweight or masculine-looking, which is unattractive and unfeminine.

4. The few decent looking females are unattainable due to too many guys wanting them. They are either taken, super picky, or have too many choices.

5. Flirting with women, hitting on them, pursuing them or expressing your interest in them is considered inappropriate, creepish and out of bounds. What this means is that if you see a woman you like or are attracted to, you can't do anything about it. You are expected to mind your own business and leave them alone. American women are generally very paranoid and uncomfortable talking to strangers. They've been conditioned to think that every guy they don't know is a creep or psycho unless proven otherwise. There is this thick wall or bubble around them that makes it awkward and uncomfortable to try meet them.

6. An average guy who is actively trying to get a girlfriend may find one every 2 - 3 years. Then, if she dumps him, he has to wait another 2 - 3 years to get another chance. (Gee what a waste of life and years)

To all you lovely western women out there. You wanna what the reality is for western males? Go to their favorite countries for relationships, ie philippines, thailand etc. Try to approach/ask out at least 20 different NON western males in those countries. Do your best to impress! Like the western males' prospects you may have crushed...

If your results are poor(they don't like you much), then mother nature just smacked you in the face. Your results will most likely be poor, because even foreign men can tell how undesirable western women are and usually don't want to date them. No offense to all you exceptions out there, but you're an exception; you just don't appear that often.

Okay okay I can't argue with those stats...
That sound pretty depressing. So maybe looking overseas is an alternative for you guys. ~shrugs~
I just think most women need a wake up call and maybe the trend of things won't always be this way. People are starting to yearn for older times since America is constantly upgrading, but the citizens can't keep up with the pace of changes. It's suppose to be for our benefit and more often then not it's a detriment to us. Since tons of Americans rarely leave the country they don't have a true comparison to their way of life.
The cultivated view is we're rich and everyone else is poor (literally).
Figuratively everyone else is rich in culture, vision, and spirit. Something we lack dangerously here and if more women in particular
left to view other women's way of life maybe it would resonate with something Americans have missing.