New guy..

[Capster78]

I have read several interesting posts here and found myself unable to stop myself from joining the sight. Seeing that so many men have seen "the light" while living abroad, and others who have luckily stumbled into it. I saw it when I joined the Military and got my first assignment overseas to Korea. I was like a kid in a candy shop. Like anyone else seeing the light for the first time, I was green and it showed. I made a few mistakes and spent a few $$ making them at first. Later on I looked back on it and now think of it as something I had to go thru to learn what to look out for. Fortunatly I was able to recognize the signs early on that I was being taken advantage of and turn it to my favor. Even if I had spent a lot of money, it was an investment well worth it because I was having the most fun I have ever had in my life.

Coming from the U.S. and having many issues with women there, having the light shed on me was kind of like alcohol to an alcoholic at first. Once the hangover wore off and I was able to hold down my liquor after building up some tolerance, I finally stumbled on my treasure. While in the U.S., I found myself on the recieving end of many shallow and hollow american women. I was living at home with my parents still at the tender age of 25. I was a good looking guy, but shy. I was never the type to be able to walk up to a woman and "pick her up". For one, the rejection is humiliating, and for two, most of the time I felt it was just not worth all the work just for one night of lousy sex. I had always felt there was something not quite right about women in the U.S. I thought maybe it was just me who saw the vast inequalities that existed in the dating world in the U.S. I always felt like a comedian on stage performing when I was on a date. Or I felt like a strange species under the microscope of a scientist. I found that being "myself" was about the worst mistake you could make when dating an american woman. That there were particular mind games you had to play and you had to feed her information slowly to keep her coming back. You could not just disclose your whole personality on the first date.

Stepping into my first social interaction with a forign woman was like stepping on a martian world. I kind of felt like Neil Armstrong stepping on the moon for the first time. I noticed that I was not the one doing the skipping and dancing for once. I felt I had control of the date and that she was interviewing for MY attention. It was a liberating expirience coming from being on the other end of that expirience. It felt right too, like it should be this way. I actually felt like a man on a date rather than a goofy, stumbling comedian on stage desperatly seeking a laugh. I had her full attention and she actually seemed interested in what I was saying. She did not feel the need to talk all about herself the whole date and was as equally interested in learning about me as I was about her. To cut the story short, we were married about a year after that.. and now we have been happily married for 2 years now. She is a wonderful woman, and I don't know what I would do without her. She takes care of me as a MAN and I take care of her like a man should take care of a woman. There is not much grey area in our relationship. We both feel comfortable in our roles and there is no confusion. I think that is why we are both so happy because we have no need to argue about anything. She is happy being a woman who takes care of her man, and I am happy being a man that takes care of a woman. It seems this is the core issue in most american relationships. There are no defined roles, which leads to much confusion and much argument over who is responsible for what. The thought that men and women are equal is simply rubbish. Women and men are not equal. The average woman is no where near physically able to handle the work a man can.. And the average man simply does not have the patience most women have to deal with a screaming baby at 3AM every night. There is a reason we have unique traits for each sex. Men, more physical.. Women, more emotional. They were not made this way on accident. It is this confusion of roles that causes so many problems on both sides. I could probably write an entire book about it as much as I have thought about all of it over the last 5 years...

Anyhow, I have already found my lady so I am not looking for one. But I am more than happy to lend an ear to those who are searching for "the light" and input my advice and expiriences.