First off, a couple of disclaimers beforehand.
1. I am a native-born Malaysian. 100% full-blooded Malay. Traveled throughout the country. Living the typical middle-class Malaysian citizen life. So my observations, while of course subject to mistakes and personal bias, holds greater weight than what some Western expats may tell you about this country, whilst enjoying their brief couple years stay over at their expatriate turtle shells in very heart of Kuala Lumpur. Call me a liar if you will, if my words that the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side upset you somehow. I don't care, but I really wanted to get this off my chest.
2. In before "I met so-and-so Malaysian girl/guy in my uni/workplace in <insert>, she/he's extremely lovable, we are together happily ever after" personal anecdotes. I will certainly not deny those stories, but you should understand that Malaysian expatriates are untypical of the Malaysian population. *Grossly* untypical if I may add. People who chose to go abroad and stay abroad wanted to escape the local atmosphere. They are the outliers, just as much as the people here at happierabroad are outliers as well. We don't find things in common with our country's spirit or the attitude of the general population and thus migrate. I would think its ridiculous if I would go overseas and people would remark that Malaysians as a whole are wise, intelligent, independent, secular-minded and self-conscious just by looking at me. If that is true, why would we, Malaysians, yearn to escape from our country so much? Think about it.
Now moving on as I talk about Malaysia's resemblance to the USA...
The dating scene is a nightmare for Malaysians as much as it is for Americans. Stories of self-sufficient, decent looking men who are virgins till their late-30s are extremely common here. Just as in the USA, *females* are paranoid over being approached even if its a completely innocent call for a friendly chat (I wouldn't say girls. Even grannies are like this). 99% of the time the only way you can squeeze in to introduce yourself is through introduction by their female friends. It's not possible to meet girls via group settings (college, workplace, etc). The girls usually move one step ahead of you by segregating themselves into girl-cliques. They rarely travel alone and will give you a "I'm gonna get raped?" or "Do I know you?" face when you try to hit them with a simple "Hi".
Just as in USA, the non-fat, non-old, pleasant personality women you find are 99% taken or married. Increasingly higher proportions of Malaysians are getting overweight. Exercise is a hated activity due to the sweltering heat and the negative connotations that come with it (Apparently some thinks that lifting weights makes you fatter. I'm not kidding). Don't ever argue with them that healthy foods are cheap. They will talk back to you that they don't have money to buy proper foods then buy junk food at Starbucks/Dome/Subway every week at lunch time.
From those non-fat Malaysians, you have to weed out the unintelligent types. Education in Malaysia is, sadly, lacking even compared to Indonesia. The level of English mastery is appalling with most people only managing to comprehend listening aspects of it, or reading the most basic of instructions. The nation's education system is our favorite target when we are to find faults with the ruling government. The people's general knowledge is so horribly lacking, that you can ask a college student and she wouldn't even know what Chicago is (I'm not talking *where*, but *what*).
Weed out still those who refuse to talk to you confidently or see you face-to-face.
Further weed out those who are unwilling to take initiative, acting romantic/flirty to their partner. Due to the general old-fashioned "Man is responsible for everything" thinking here, the girls feel little obligation to work on their personality. Just sitting there acting pretty is deemed enough for them. I'm not kidding. I have dated 3 girls prior to Valentines Day this year, and they answered me back with one-word answers, almost mechanically, with their faked smiles. And of course, brighten up and suddenly feel chatty when a restaurant is nearby.
Still following me? Good. Now....weed out the non-conservative. You may be thinking oh Malaysia is a Muslim country but for the non-Muslims they are just as good as the non-Muslims in the West. Wrong. Even the non-Muslims are generally expected to not engage in sex, nor kiss, nor even flirt at their unmarried mates, as it is deemed too naughty. I have a friend, a Chinese. She lost her virginity during her studies in Australia, and she had her dates terminated when the Chinese men found out she's no longer a virgin. LOL, dont kiss a girl by the cheek at the end of the first/second date like I habitually do. They will slap you and call you a pervert (yes it happens to me).
There is good news, however. The girls aren't as picky like in America because supply of horrible men are just as many. You rarely see only-good-for-her-looks bimbo women going out with Mr. Right guys. 7s go with 7s. 8s go with 8s. 9s go with 9s, etc, but yet, I digress, I will move on to another horrible facet of Malaysian life: Materialism
Life in Malaysia is harsh. There is a a growing inequality of wealth between the rich and the poor compared to other nations. The debt culture surrounds Malaysians just as it surrounds Americans. Plus, there is still a lingering old-fashioned dogma about men providing for everything while women reciprocate with sex. Thus, not only do Malaysian girls demand that you pay for everything (not the first date dinner. Everything). they would also require that you shower them with gifts. It is of course not as bad as in Singapore where inequality of wealth is greater, and the more cosmopolitan living drove females to keep up with the Joneses, but still, don't fool yourself into thinking Malaysians are just like your Russian beauties.
Ah....I mentioned Russians, haven't I? To tell you the truth, I have been to Russia before.
And I will disagree against the author of the ebook that Muscovites find Asians unattractive (of course personal anecdotes dont disprove the general observation). I have been openly called handsome by Russian girls during my brief stay there as a student. Unlike Malaysian girls who would demand so much and reciprocate with so little, a wonderful Muscovite fellow student offered to show me around, split bills, and flirted at me without expecting anything in return. She repeatedly said to me how she likes me in that I didn't have body odor, didn't drink and how sincere I was in getting to know her. (Alas...I was given the chance to lose my virginity then, at the age of 19, but I chickened out, in my culture-shock in how utterly, shockingly different Russians are compared to Malaysians).
The best girls I have met, befriended or dated are all non-Malaysian. Particularly the most memorable ones in my mind now is a French-Canadian, that same Muscovite and a Japanese. I even made myself a resolution that I will no longer waste my time dating Malaysians until they fix up their attitude.
Of course I am not saying all Malaysians are like this. If you go for the self-sufficient ones, those who take care of both their appearance and personality, those who aren't so stuck up/paranoid about being talked to, those who have enough self-worth as to not whore out to any men who spends enough money on them (my non-virgin Chinese friend told me that. She said she felt whorish to have sex with someone out of money), then you will be fine. Go to Malaysia if that is what your heart desires. However, I would ask you why go here when the proportion of women who are like that are higher somewhere else?
As for me, I will go to Germany one day to settle down and/or resuming my studies. Probably also taking a trip to Finland, Russia, Czech Republic, etc. And Japan!! Japanese women past 25 are the best!! (EDIT: Changed my mind about Japan...crossed it off my list, will go there for tourism purposes but not to seek a romantic life!)
Sorry for the long post if it bothers you. Anyways, I'm Rayn from Malaysia. Nice to meet you!!
