Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Introduce yourself here and let us know who you are.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Forum rules
Welcome. If you are new here, please read the Forum Rules.

Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby Unhappily Single » Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:55 am

Hello! I came across this site, quite by accident (and Google, I suppose LOL). And as the subject implies, I lurked about for quite some time. But now I feel like it's time I posted.

Now, just to qualify: I'm posting this without being 100% sure if I'm ready to fully embrace everything that's been talked about here. I mean, I'm not 100% sure if I'm ready to up and leave the country that I was born and raised in - the USA (or as I put in my location the U.S.S.A.). Not to mention leave behind my family (parents and their relatives, that is) and all that I was brought up to believe...

THAT BEING SAID... I have to say that, a lot of what you guys have said on here... makes a lot of sense. As I said before, I was born and raised here in the USA. I am a straight white male. Average looking (not ugly, but not Hollywood celeb material), with a regular full-time job, college graduate, no criminal record, yada yada yada... And as such, I have had almost ZERO luck with women. When I was a teenager, in high school, I was pretty well-rounded. I played sports, was in honor classes, and was in a ton of extra-curricular activities. And as such I had friends from many different circles.

Guess how many dates I had in high school, being that kind of guy?... ONE! Count 'em: ONE DATE! My senior prom! And the only reason I had that at all was because a friend fixed me up. When I went off to college (the first time, straight out of high school), I had a few dates. But ONLY a few. A couple of them turned into relationships, but they never lasted. And I was never the one to break them off, always the one that GOT dumped.

All through this, people kept telling me that I just needed to "wait until I'm older. By then those women will realize what a great guy I am, and they'll have grown up." Well guess what? I'm 35, and women that age and older STILL HAVE NOT GROWN UP! They're STILL chasing the bad-boys, players, and "alphas" (whatever the eff that is THIS WEEK!). And I still may as well not exist. Women always date up, and I've never been up. And no matter how hard I work, how much I educate myself, how much time I spend at the gym (which can't be much since I have a real job)... I will never be "up." Nothing's ever good enough for these cows, who bring nothing to the table. I have to be Hollywood celeb or male porn star material for the privilege of getting a minute of these fat pigs' precious time. And I'm supposed to be eternally grateful and kiss their ass for it. I'm supposed to basically be in the upper strata for the privilege of working my ass off only to give away all the fruits of my labor to an entitled princess, for the privilege of absolutely NOTHING!

Man, HOW DO WESTERN WOMEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!? Knowing that they do nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and totally ruin good men's lives, who did nothing to them at all? And wanted nothing more than for these women to love them as much as they loved them? From my teen years to this very day, all I ever hear from women is how bad men are, how they're all alike, and "why can't I find a nice guy who isn't afraid of commitment?" Well, my mistake was to actually take them seriously. I put forth a serious effort to NOT be like other guys. And what did I get for it? Nothing. Nada. The best I COULD ever get was to be in that g*ddamn "friend zone." Where I could always be kept at arms length. Not only that, but for many years I was what you guys would have called a mangina. Yep, I was guilty of it, and I'm not proud of this. But... I've at least learned from that experience. And while I'll still be civil to women, it's never any more than common courtesy, which I'll show to other men as well. But no more special treatment for them. No more paying for everything, no more flowers and chocolates, no more blindly taking her side in everything! That stuff ends!

But then again... that probably doesn't even matter. Since nowadays I'm still kept at arms length, in that effin' friend zone. If I so much as HINT at anything more. And I MEAN anything: dates, relationships, getting laid, ANYTHING outside of that friend zone... I get stares, glares, and "what a creep" vibes. Yeah, ME, a guy who wears a shirt-and-tie to a stable full-time job everyday is a "creep." While the tatted-up unemployable jailbird ex-con loser who beats the ever-lovin' s**t out of women for stepping out of line isn't.

I'm pissed at this whole situation, and at this whole "culture" here in the USA that encourages it. So much so... that I'm actually seeing a therapist about it. I know you guys... don't think too highly of therapy. But... I can't talk to anyone else. Everyone else I talk to always blames me for it. Even people that claim they are my friends. Even my own family members. So what's left, but to pay a person to act like they care?

Anyway, sorry this is so long. There's even more I could say, but I'd be here all night if I did. That's also why it took so long to finally post here: I wasn't sure what all I was going to say. I guess, at this point, I'm just looking for answers to this. Or at least, answers that make sense. And again, while I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to totally embrace what all is spoken of here... at least you guys seem to be more on the level than what I usually see around me. If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with this, then please reply, and at the VERY LEAST I will give them weight. Thank you in advance for reading this, and for your help.
Unhappily Single
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:13 am
Location: U.S.S.A.







Re: Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby fschmidt » Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:30 am

Unhappily Single, welcome to reality. Here are some more links about reality, as opposed to liberal feminist lies:

http://www.reactionaryjudaism.org/file/ ... OQV6N2.pdf
http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/
http://www.the-niceguy.com/forum/
http://fedrz.wordpress.com/the-book-of-bonecrker/

But the real world beats any links, so take a trip to a non-feminist country as soon as possible to see for yourself.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
fschmidt
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2118
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:16 am
Location: El Paso, TX

Postby Falcon » Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:16 am

Welcome! Thanks a lot for sharing. This is a very common type of story that most people wouldn't talk about. Mine was similar in some ways too. It feels good to get this off your chest with these rants. The next step should be about finding a solution to deal with all this.

You can read my trip reports on Mexico and China to see how all this turned around - in Winston's words roughly, "from absolute zero to rock star."

Plus, I'm over 10 years younger than you. :wink:
Falcon
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1654
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:59 pm

Re: Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby Teal Lantern » Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:30 am

Unhappily Single wrote:Hello! I came across this site, quite by accident (and Google, I suppose LOL). And as the subject implies, I lurked about for quite some time. But now I feel like it's time I posted.

Now, just to qualify: I'm posting this without being 100% sure if I'm ready to fully embrace everything that's been talked about here. I mean, I'm not 100% sure if I'm ready to up and leave the country that I was born and raised in - the USA (or as I put in my location the U.S.S.A.). Not to mention leave behind my family (parents and their relatives, that is) and all that I was brought up to believe...
Fair enough, some people import a wife. The question then becomes do you want your sons and daughters raised in this culture? What kind of women will your daughters become? What kinds of wives will be available for your sons?

THAT BEING SAID... I have to say that, a lot of what you guys have said on here... makes a lot of sense. As I said before, I was born and raised here in the USA. I am a straight white male. Average looking (not ugly, but not Hollywood celeb material), with a regular full-time job, college graduate, no criminal record, yada yada yada... And as such, I have had almost ZERO luck with women. When I was a teenager, in high school, I was pretty well-rounded. I played sports, was in honor classes, and was in a ton of extra-curricular activities. And as such I had friends from many different circles.
The culture is crap across the color spectrum.

Guess how many dates I had in high school, being that kind of guy?... ONE! Count 'em: ONE DATE! My senior prom! And the only reason I had that at all was because a friend fixed me up. When I went off to college (the first time, straight out of high school), I had a few dates. But ONLY a few. A couple of them turned into relationships, but they never lasted. And I was never the one to break them off, always the one that GOT dumped.
A bf/gf breakup beats a divorce every day.

All through this, people kept telling me that I just needed to "wait until I'm older. By then those women will realize what a great guy I am, and they'll have grown up." Well guess what? I'm 35, and women that age and older STILL HAVE NOT GROWN UP! They're STILL chasing the bad-boys, players, and "alphas" (whatever the eff that is THIS WEEK!). And I still may as well not exist. Women always date up, and I've never been up. And no matter how hard I work, how much I educate myself, how much time I spend at the gym (which can't be much since I have a real job)... I will never be "up." Nothing's ever good enough for these cows, who bring nothing to the table. I have to be Hollywood celeb or male p**n star material for the privilege of getting a minute of these fat pigs' precious time. And I'm supposed to be eternally grateful and kiss their ass for it. I'm supposed to basically be in the upper strata for the privilege of working my ass off only to give away all the fruits of my labor to an entitled princess, for the privilege of absolutely NOTHING!
What happens is that by that age you've either settled or grown up and decided to look elsewhere. Think about it, do you really want one of these spoiled cows that are your current age, or someone younger, prettier, and a better attitude? Yes, anglo women at 35~40 are still chasing bad boys. Bad boys aren't trying to marry them, though. When they get dumped off the sausage carousel, they'll be giving you a call, Poindexter, needing help with their kids, bills, etc..
How are you going to answer that call? Open arms or a slammed door in their face?
Maybe have your 10 yrs younger wife slam that door? :wink:


Man, HOW DO WESTERN WOMEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!? Knowing that they do nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and totally ruin good men's lives, who did nothing to them at all? And wanted nothing more than for these women to love them as much as they loved them?
Restfully, like spoiled, entitled children.

From my teen years to this very day, all I ever hear from women is how bad men are, how they're all alike, and "why can't I find a nice guy who isn't afraid of commitment?" Well, my mistake was to actually take them seriously. I put forth a serious effort to NOT be like other guys. And what did I get for it? Nothing. Nada. The best I COULD ever get was to be in that g*ddamn "friend zone." Where I could always be kept at arms length. Not only that, but for many years I was what you guys would have called a mangina. Yep, I was guilty of it, and I'm not proud of this. But... I've at least learned from that experience. And while I'll still be civil to women, it's never any more than common courtesy, which I'll show to other men as well. But no more special treatment for them. No more paying for everything, no more flowers and chocolates, no more blindly taking her side in everything! That stuff ends!
Go forth and man-gine no more. :D

But then again... that probably doesn't even matter. Since nowadays I'm still kept at arms length, in that effin' friend zone. If I so much as HINT at anything more. And I MEAN anything: dates, relationships, getting laid, ANYTHING outside of that friend zone... I get stares, glares, and "what a creep" vibes. Yeah, ME, a guy who wears a shirt-and-tie to a stable full-time job everyday is a "creep." While the tatted-up unemployable jailbird ex-con loser who beats the ever-lovin' s**t out of women for stepping out of line isn't.

I'm pissed at this whole situation, and at this whole "culture" here in the USA that encourages it. So much so... that I'm actually seeing a therapist about it. I know you guys... don't think too highly of therapy. But... I can't talk to anyone else. Everyone else I talk to always blames me for it. Even people that claim they are my friends. Even my own family members. So what's left, but to pay a person to act like they care?
Are these the same family members you don't want to move away from? :wink:

Anyway, sorry this is so long. There's even more I could say, but I'd be here all night if I did. That's also why it took so long to finally post here: I wasn't sure what all I was going to say. I guess, at this point, I'm just looking for answers to this. Or at least, answers that make sense. And again, while I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to totally embrace what all is spoken of here... at least you guys seem to be more on the level than what I usually see around me. If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with this, then please reply, and at the VERY LEAST I will give them weight. Thank you in advance for reading this, and for your help.
не поглеждай назад. 8)

"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
User avatar
Teal Lantern
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2686
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:48 pm
Location: Briar Patch, Universe 25

Postby noog » Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:26 am

Good post and welcome to the forum. It is frustrating to hear women talk out of the side of their mouths time and time again. In my case I didn't get dumped but I had to get out of very controlling and manipulative relationships to save my own sanity and also to do what was best for my kids.

I don't throw the baby out with the bathwater like some here ... I do believe there are still some quality women out there in the USA. But the odds are stacked so heavily against us that it is extremely hard to find a woman here who is attractive, trustworthy and respectful. And the experience of trying to find that lady among the multitude of women who will cross you off their list because you don't match their near-infinite set of criteria is soul-draining. And illogicaly, the more you do to improve yourself, the harder it seems to get! So the only rational solution is continue to work on yourself and look for companionship partners overseas.

Putting the dating hell of the USA aside, I guess you have to decide for yourself how important how happy you are here with your career, family, activities, lifestyle, etc. and decide what you are looking for and what you want to do. You can move overseas or decide to find a companion to bring back to America. Don't settle, don't play it safe and don't compromise ... I wasted too much of my time doing those things. Don't worry about your family, they could and should come around with time. Good luck to you and go for what you want, but stay patient in the process.
"Take a bold and unconventional action, then you'll find out who your friends are."

"Trying to find good American women is like trying to ice skate in a volcano."
noog
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 207
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:43 am
Location: The Midwestern Wasteland

Re: Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby OutWest » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:20 am

Unhappily Single wrote:Hello! I came across this site, quite by accident (and Google, I suppose LOL). And as the subject implies, I lurked about for quite some time. But now I feel like it's time I posted.

Now, just to qualify: I'm posting this without being 100% sure if I'm ready to fully embrace everything that's been talked about here. I mean, I'm not 100% sure if I'm ready to up and leave the country that I was born and raised in - the USA (or as I put in my location the U.S.S.A.). Not to mention leave behind my family (parents and their relatives, that is) and all that I was brought up to believe...

THAT BEING SAID... I have to say that, a lot of what you guys have said on here... makes a lot of sense. As I said before, I was born and raised here in the USA. I am a straight white male. Average looking (not ugly, but not Hollywood celeb material), with a regular full-time job, college graduate, no criminal record, yada yada yada... And as such, I have had almost ZERO luck with women. When I was a teenager, in high school, I was pretty well-rounded. I played sports, was in honor classes, and was in a ton of extra-curricular activities. And as such I had friends from many different circles.

Guess how many dates I had in high school, being that kind of guy?... ONE! Count 'em: ONE DATE! My senior prom! And the only reason I had that at all was because a friend fixed me up. When I went off to college (the first time, straight out of high school), I had a few dates. But ONLY a few. A couple of them turned into relationships, but they never lasted. And I was never the one to break them off, always the one that GOT dumped.

All through this, people kept telling me that I just needed to "wait until I'm older. By then those women will realize what a great guy I am, and they'll have grown up." Well guess what? I'm 35, and women that age and older STILL HAVE NOT GROWN UP! They're STILL chasing the bad-boys, players, and "alphas" (whatever the eff that is THIS WEEK!). And I still may as well not exist. Women always date up, and I've never been up. And no matter how hard I work, how much I educate myself, how much time I spend at the gym (which can't be much since I have a real job)... I will never be "up." Nothing's ever good enough for these cows, who bring nothing to the table. I have to be Hollywood celeb or male p**n star material for the privilege of getting a minute of these fat pigs' precious time. And I'm supposed to be eternally grateful and kiss their ass for it. I'm supposed to basically be in the upper strata for the privilege of working my ass off only to give away all the fruits of my labor to an entitled princess, for the privilege of absolutely NOTHING!

Man, HOW DO WESTERN WOMEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!? Knowing that they do nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and totally ruin good men's lives, who did nothing to them at all? And wanted nothing more than for these women to love them as much as they loved them? From my teen years to this very day, all I ever hear from women is how bad men are, how they're all alike, and "why can't I find a nice guy who isn't afraid of commitment?" Well, my mistake was to actually take them seriously. I put forth a serious effort to NOT be like other guys. And what did I get for it? Nothing. Nada. The best I COULD ever get was to be in that g*ddamn "friend zone." Where I could always be kept at arms length. Not only that, but for many years I was what you guys would have called a mangina. Yep, I was guilty of it, and I'm not proud of this. But... I've at least learned from that experience. And while I'll still be civil to women, it's never any more than common courtesy, which I'll show to other men as well. But no more special treatment for them. No more paying for everything, no more flowers and chocolates, no more blindly taking her side in everything! That stuff ends!

But then again... that probably doesn't even matter. Since nowadays I'm still kept at arms length, in that effin' friend zone. If I so much as HINT at anything more. And I MEAN anything: dates, relationships, getting laid, ANYTHING outside of that friend zone... I get stares, glares, and "what a creep" vibes. Yeah, ME, a guy who wears a shirt-and-tie to a stable full-time job everyday is a "creep." While the tatted-up unemployable jailbird ex-con loser who beats the ever-lovin' s**t out of women for stepping out of line isn't.

I'm pissed at this whole situation, and at this whole "culture" here in the USA that encourages it. So much so... that I'm actually seeing a therapist about it. I know you guys... don't think too highly of therapy. But... I can't talk to anyone else. Everyone else I talk to always blames me for it. Even people that claim they are my friends. Even my own family members. So what's left, but to pay a person to act like they care?

Anyway, sorry this is so long. There's even more I could say, but I'd be here all night if I did. That's also why it took so long to finally post here: I wasn't sure what all I was going to say. I guess, at this point, I'm just looking for answers to this. Or at least, answers that make sense. And again, while I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to totally embrace what all is spoken of here... at least you guys seem to be more on the level than what I usually see around me. If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with this, then please reply, and at the VERY LEAST I will give them weight. Thank you in advance for reading this, and for your help.


Do you have a passport? Most of the other crap is just bullshit...if you do not have your passport get one and get ready to move, or do you want to continue to live in the details of your misery? Mail me for details.

Outwest
Mindanao, Philippines
OutWest
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2060
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:09 am
Location: Asia/USA

Postby jamesbond » Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:43 am

Hello Unhappily Single, glad you found our forum. Your high school years sound a lot like mine, I only had 4 dates in high school. I was on the cross country team but that didn't help my social life at all. I did have two girlfriends in college (thank God I went away to college).

Your right women in america love the bad boy. The more tattoos and body piercings you have, the more women will fall in love with you. Thugs and badboys turn american women on, clean cut guys must turn american women off! :shock:

Getting your passport and taking a trip to a foreign country is the best thing to do. You just need to decide what countries your interested in visiting.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
User avatar
jamesbond
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7501
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:45 pm
Location: USA

Postby Unhappily Single » Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:47 pm

Thanks for all the replies! Good stuff...

Actually, I DO have a current passport. And I HAVE travelled overseas. Though not to "non-feminist" countries. At least, not yet. I've only been overseas twice, and both times were to Western Europe (England and Spain). One thing I did notice when I was in Spain was that, in general, the women were much better LOOKING, and more feminine-LOOKING, than the ones here in the States. And even in England. But still, Spain IS a feminist country. So needless to say, women didn't even notice me. But I had fun in other areas, though. So the trip wasn't a total waste.

As far as my parents go: Yes, I did briefly complain about them in my original post. At least with regards to not being able to talk to them about this issue. But still... I still WANT to get married. Even now, with all the problems with the institution of marriage. At least in the West. And I want to have children. I want to pass on my DNA, and leave my mark behind when I pass on. And I want to give my parents grandchildren. Especially my father, since he never got to introduce me to his father (my paternal grandfather, who passed away before I was born). And I don't want my family line to die out. Even in this day and age I think about that stuff.

I guess, looking back on things... that you guys were right. A bf/gf breakup DOES in fact beat a divorce. Any day and twice on Sundays. I've never been married before. And I guess I'm lucky in that respect. I could either be in a nagging, loveless, sexless marriage wasting my life. Or I could be divorced and living on less than half of my paycheck while my ex-wife lives off of alimony and "child support" (quote marks used on purpose). And I could be paying money for kids that I'll never see again. So yes, I suppose in so many ways I am lucky. Still though... it gets REALLY lonely, and depressing. It can really get to me at times. And I know I shouldn't "let it get to me," but often times it does anyway.

All this being said... I'd say by this point, if I DO ultimately end up marrying, there's a 99.99% chance that it will NOT be to a Western woman. I want to marry someone that at the very least RESPECTS me. Clearly... that is not to be found here in this country, in this society. All the crap that women do, and that men put up with... it just ain't cute anymore. It quit being cute a long time ago...

But back to earlier: I do have my passport. And I DO want to at least travel the world some more. I WAS considering going back to Spain. Or other parts of Western Europe. But now... I may turn further eastward. Like to Asia, or perhaps Eastern Europe. Those two regions especially appeal to me. Or... since I'm fluent in Spanish... Central or South America. Those are also options that appeal to me. Now what I need to do is get a positive cash flow going, and save up money. Which even now I'm trying to do (though I'd like to be saving up more at a time, but that's another topic).

Well, this is getting long, so I'm going to cut it off. But I may post some more still on here. Asking for advice, ideas, and stuff. Again folks, thanks for all the responses. I appreciate them all!
Unhappily Single
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:13 am
Location: U.S.S.A.

Postby xiongmao » Wed Oct 10, 2012 6:59 pm

Welcome!

Spanish girls are awesome in their teens, but the sun wrinkles them up and they don't age well.

I was 37 when I started chatting to Chinese girls, so it's never too late. Lol, I was like a rock star out there.

Just find an Asian woman who's desperate for kids. There are loads of them! Mixed Asian babies are tremendously cute, and (if they're of Chinese background) always come first in class.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2542
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby OTB » Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:50 am

Welcome to the forum buddy! I understand the frustration you have with the dating scene in the US and trying to find a decent women you can connect with in this country has become quite scarce. Certain people who you talk to about this situation will say it's your fault. You're not putting yourself out there enough and you have to be more outgoing. You have to do this particular thing if you want a woman or they tell you to be optimistic about eventually finding that special woman. Most people just don't want to talk about this topic. There's something wrong with you if you can't find a woman and start a relationship.

It's OK to vent here. Let this be your outlet. Let it all out and get some relief. It's healthy for you. That's why I come here and to see what others have to say about certain topics. This is a community of men who "get it". We see what's going on and we're opened to discussing these topics.

OTB
OTB
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 311
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:28 pm
Location: Washington Twp, NJ

Postby djfourmoney » Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:59 am

noog wrote:Good post and welcome to the forum. It is frustrating to hear women talk out of the side of their mouths time and time again. In my case I didn't get dumped but I had to get out of very controlling and manipulative relationships to save my own sanity and also to do what was best for my kids.

I don't throw the baby out with the bathwater like some here ... I do believe there are still some quality women out there in the USA. But the odds are stacked so heavily against us that it is extremely hard to find a woman here who is attractive, trustworthy and respectful. And the experience of trying to find that lady among the multitude of women who will cross you off their list because you don't match their near-infinite set of criteria is soul-draining. And illogicaly, the more you do to improve yourself, the harder it seems to get! So the only rational solution is continue to work on yourself and look for companionship partners overseas.

Putting the dating hell of the USA aside, I guess you have to decide for yourself how important how happy you are here with your career, family, activities, lifestyle, etc. and decide what you are looking for and what you want to do. You can move overseas or decide to find a companion to bring back to America. Don't settle, don't play it safe and don't compromise ... I wasted too much of my time doing those things. Don't worry about your family, they could and should come around with time. Good luck to you and go for what you want, but stay patient in the process.


Of course there are still quality women here. Don't you think there is competition for them? Don't you think they can pick and choose who they go out with? Have you seen an attractive, nice woman that has time for a serious relationship and isn't obsessed with careerism pining for a date?

No you haven't and this is why you "Throw the baby out with the bathwater". Anything else is a compromise which is why you find men with average looking women and BBW's.

Lots of men compromise rather than being unhappily single like OP here.

Average looking women, ugly women, women with children WILL compromise, they have too otherwise THEY remain single.

So again you have 80% of the women chasing 20% of the top men available, at the same time since obesity is a REAL problem 80% of men are chasing 20% women but they want to get on with their lives so they compromise, I think the last stats I saw was 42% of White males are single in America and 34% of Black males are single. I am not sure about Latinos or Asians but I would assume its similar. So that really means about 50-60% of the men are chasing 20% and unwavering.

That leads to many men post 35 who have never been married or have had limited dating success.

You have little choice, either you need to be seriously aggressive with your dating locally that means a link I found a few years ago - www.supplysidedating.com or contacting hundreds of women online and in real-time just to find ONE woman that will go out on more than two dates with you.

The reality is smacking you in the face like a fresh fish. You know what needs to be done, either throw away all you have been previously learned or continue to suffer until you're 45.

There are people that have contacted AFA 5-10 years after they found the company online before they went on a tour (which I don't recommend without some coaching first). I don't call that procrastination, I call that fear of the unknown.

If you don't act now, you'll be making the same complaints only its five years on from your first post.
djfourmoney
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3129
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:09 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby colibri » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:00 am

welcome ! :)
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
User avatar
colibri
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 156
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 3:53 am
Location: AZTLAN

Postby Jester » Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:53 am

OP, welcome to HA Forum.

Some good responses from the above posters.

Just a feeling, but I think you might enjoy making some friends in EE countries like Slovakia, etc. Some old-fashioned girls there.
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7869
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby NorthAmericanguy » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:02 pm

Unhappily Single wrote:Hello! I came across this site, quite by accident (and Google, I suppose LOL). And as the subject implies, I lurked about for quite some time. But now I feel like it's time I posted.

Now, just to qualify: I'm posting this without being 100% sure if I'm ready to fully embrace everything that's been talked about here. I mean, I'm not 100% sure if I'm ready to up and leave the country that I was born and raised in - the USA (or as I put in my location the U.S.S.A.). Not to mention leave behind my family (parents and their relatives, that is) and all that I was brought up to believe...

THAT BEING SAID... I have to say that, a lot of what you guys have said on here... makes a lot of sense. As I said before, I was born and raised here in the USA. I am a straight white male. Average looking (not ugly, but not Hollywood celeb material), with a regular full-time job, college graduate, no criminal record, yada yada yada... And as such, I have had almost ZERO luck with women. When I was a teenager, in high school, I was pretty well-rounded. I played sports, was in honor classes, and was in a ton of extra-curricular activities. And as such I had friends from many different circles.

Guess how many dates I had in high school, being that kind of guy?... ONE! Count 'em: ONE DATE! My senior prom! And the only reason I had that at all was because a friend fixed me up. When I went off to college (the first time, straight out of high school), I had a few dates. But ONLY a few. A couple of them turned into relationships, but they never lasted. And I was never the one to break them off, always the one that GOT dumped.

All through this, people kept telling me that I just needed to "wait until I'm older. By then those women will realize what a great guy I am, and they'll have grown up." Well guess what? I'm 35, and women that age and older STILL HAVE NOT GROWN UP! They're STILL chasing the bad-boys, players, and "alphas" (whatever the eff that is THIS WEEK!). And I still may as well not exist. Women always date up, and I've never been up. And no matter how hard I work, how much I educate myself, how much time I spend at the gym (which can't be much since I have a real job)... I will never be "up." Nothing's ever good enough for these cows, who bring nothing to the table. I have to be Hollywood celeb or male p**n star material for the privilege of getting a minute of these fat pigs' precious time. And I'm supposed to be eternally grateful and kiss their a** for it. I'm supposed to basically be in the upper strata for the privilege of working my a** off only to give away all the fruits of my labor to an entitled princess, for the privilege of absolutely NOTHING!

Man, HOW DO WESTERN WOMEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!? Knowing that they do nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and totally ruin good men's lives, who did nothing to them at all? And wanted nothing more than for these women to love them as much as they loved them? From my teen years to this very day, all I ever hear from women is how bad men are, how they're all alike, and "why can't I find a nice guy who isn't afraid of commitment?" Well, my mistake was to actually take them seriously. I put forth a serious effort to NOT be like other guys. And what did I get for it? Nothing. Nada. The best I COULD ever get was to be in that g*ddamn "friend zone." Where I could always be kept at arms length. Not only that, but for many years I was what you guys would have called a mangina. Yep, I was guilty of it, and I'm not proud of this. But... I've at least learned from that experience. And while I'll still be civil to women, it's never any more than common courtesy, which I'll show to other men as well. But no more special treatment for them. No more paying for everything, no more flowers and chocolates, no more blindly taking her side in everything! That stuff ends!

But then again... that probably doesn't even matter. Since nowadays I'm still kept at arms length, in that effin' friend zone. If I so much as HINT at anything more. And I MEAN anything: dates, relationships, getting laid, ANYTHING outside of that friend zone... I get stares, glares, and "what a creep" vibes. Yeah, ME, a guy who wears a shirt-and-tie to a stable full-time job everyday is a "creep." While the tatted-up unemployable jailbird ex-con loser who beats the ever-lovin' s**t out of women for stepping out of line isn't.

I'm pissed at this whole situation, and at this whole "culture" here in the USA that encourages it. So much so... that I'm actually seeing a therapist about it. I know you guys... don't think too highly of therapy. But... I can't talk to anyone else. Everyone else I talk to always blames me for it. Even people that claim they are my friends. Even my own family members. So what's left, but to pay a person to act like they care?

Anyway, sorry this is so long. There's even more I could say, but I'd be here all night if I did. That's also why it took so long to finally post here: I wasn't sure what all I was going to say. I guess, at this point, I'm just looking for answers to this. Or at least, answers that make sense. And again, while I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to totally embrace what all is spoken of here... at least you guys seem to be more on the level than what I usually see around me. If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with this, then please reply, and at the VERY LEAST I will give them weight. Thank you in advance for reading this, and for your help.


+1^


Welcome!
NorthAmericanguy
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2182
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:16 am

Re: Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster

Postby Jester » Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:16 pm

Teal Lantern wrote:Man, HOW DO WESTERN WOMEN SLEEP AT NIGHT!? Knowing that they do nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and totally ruin good men's lives, who did nothing to them at all? And wanted nothing more than for these women to love them as much as they loved them?
Restfully, like spoiled, entitled children.


I'm pissed at this whole situation, and at this whole "culture" here in the USA that encourages it. So much so... that I'm actually seeing a therapist about it. I know you guys... don't think too highly of therapy. But... I can't talk to anyone else. Everyone else I talk to always blames me for it. Even people that claim they are my friends. Even my own family members. So what's left, but to pay a person to act like they care?
Are these the same family members you don't want to move away from? :wink:


The words of the prophets are written on subway walls... here on the HA Underground.
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7869
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand


Return to Introduce Yourself

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests