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My name is Luis Miguel, most people just call me Luis for short.
I was born in Guadalajara, Mexico and lived there for 17 years. My parents forced me to move to the United States when I was 17 and it was very much against my will. I finished High School there and got a Bachelor's degree in History as well as a Career Diploma in Forestry and Wildlife Management. After I graduated from University I attempted to return to Mexico because I absolutely hated living in the USA. I found that Americans are very socially disconnected and arrogant in their vast majority. Unfortunately, I had very bad luck in Mexico, for I was laid off from the job I had there and evicted from my apartment. Mexico is a horrible country for making a living, very Anarcho-Capitalist and there are no jobs that pay, if any at all. I had to return to the United States just to get a well paying enough job with which to feed myself and I have been stuck here ever since.
There are a lot of things about the USA that I do in fact, like... The landscapes are beautiful and there are a lot of ecological jobs. I am a forestry professional and that is what I can do for a living. I love the fact that the environment is somewhat taken care of here and there are opportunities to participate in Environmental Conservation. I also love the fact that in America people show kindness to animals instead of barbarously killing and torturing them (which often happens in Mexico). For example, the other day while driving on the road, an injured duck ran onto the street and the cars actually slowed down to a stop to let the creature cross... which I think is really classy and awesome.
But there is one thing about America that I can never get over: Americans themselves are mostly shallow, selfish, conceited, ignorant and sheepish. It is extremely difficult to make friends here, because of the way people are. One simply cannot relate to them and trying to make conversation with them is just awkard and painful. It also drives me insane how they let themselves be influenced by media... it is extremely gullible and reminiscent of the 1984 novel. In fact, that kind of scares me. This is what I am talking about:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 63_pf.html
It is not this way in other countries. People in Mexico are more accepting of others and generally better friends. They are not obedient and sheepish like Americans and so there is not this tremendous pressure to conform to bogus social norms. It is so much easier to make friends in Mexico and I have noticed that this is true of many other countries which are not America. For this reason, I would like to find a place to live in another country and try my luck there, even if there is risk involved. I want to leave America behind. Sorry Americans, but you are not right for me. I am here to meet people, make friends and share stories and ideas and hopefully to make connections that can help me realize my goal. Thank you all and may God bless.
Hola Luis Miguel, las mujeres de los Estados Unidos son frias como el viento y peligrosas como el mar! (Being Mexican I'm sure you understood the joke because of your username).
I speak fluent Spanish but since this is an English-language forum, I will continue in English, but you can PM me in Spanish if you wish. I am an American man who lives part of the year in Mexico and has exclusively dated Mexican women (in Mexico! no chicanas for me) since 2005. I have noticed the same thing you have about the differences between the two countries. Jobs pay so much better in the United States than in Mexico, but at the same time Americans are some of the most unbearable people to be around (and I am one!)
American women think every man is a potential rapist and if you're an unattractive man who even so much as dares to ask a woman out, you are now a creep even though the only thing you did was ask a woman out. American women are absolutely obsessed with height and despite the fact that I'm 5'9 (1.75 m) which is the average height for a white male in the United States, I'm still routinely called short by these women who only want to date genetically gifted giants, even if the women themselves are only 5 feet tall (1.52 m). Many of them are also extremely fat but still want the guy who is in shape and has lots of muscle. I myself have a 31-inch waist (79 cm) and can squat twice my bodyweight, so I have no patience for fat women considering that I worked hard (both in the gym as well as a proper diet) to have a decent body. I gave up on American women 8 years ago and have never looked back.
But don't think my complaint is only with American women. I have said it before on this site and still say it: I have an even lower opinion of American MEN than I do of the women. American men are not real men. They have no sense of brotherhood and are a bunch of backstabbers who will ruin a man's life just to get 15 minutes of sex. They are also completely overbearing and I cannot have a decent conversation with any of them. Here is an exact conversation I had recently with a guy I met in a restaurant:
Me: I don't understand why we have to tip our servers. Wouldn't it make more sense just to pay them a normal wage and include the cost of their service in our bill?
Guy: THAT IS THE MOST RETARDED THING I HAVE EVER HEARD.
See what I mean? You express a simple opinion and guys just jump down your throat and have no civility whatsoever. Even if he disagreed with me he could have responded in a more civilized manner.
My suggestion to you is to live on the US side in a border state and travel to Mexico regularly, like I do. And above all, don't EVER marry an American woman. Ever.
Tu nuevo amigo,
Luis how do you feel about American food? I have only gone to Mexico once, I thought the Mexican food in United States it tasted so much worst. I think this is also an issue why Americans are so unhappy, they chronically eat food that has no flavor. At least in Europe they have some food culture retained.
Thanks for your replies... AmericaninMexico you are right, Good American women are hard to find... I just broke up with my American girlfriend. To be honest, she broke up with me. Why? Because she couldn't control me. If those are her conditions, then fine. I am fine with it. I am single and happy and honestly haven't met a single woman I have wanted to date. I have looked online and the idea I get from their profiles is this: "I weigh 200 pounds, want to have 7 babies with you, get even fatter and castrate you into a submissive little bitch of a husband who lives to do my bidding; your life with me is going to be miserable. Girl power!!!". No thanks... now I understand why medieval monks chose celibacy. If you can't find the right person, just stay single.
Drealm, Mexican food in America is generally bland and unauthentic, I agree. American food is not great either. I think one can find good food here, but the problem is that many people choose to eat things that are cheap and junky. Why eat fast food when you can cook? But this is the American way.
Welcome Luis Miguel! You're not alone in your thoughts and opinions of the States.
I've been to Guadalajara before, and it certainly is a wonderful place to visit. However, making a living is quite difficult in Mexico, despite being a wonderful place to live in. Hence the dilemma many Mexicans have of moving to the US vs. staying in Mexico.
AmericanInMexico did present a very good idea. There are plenty of national forests and state parks along the US-Mexico border. You'd really like it there.
Now you see why I don't use internet dating. Online dating sites are filled with fat, ugly women and single mothers!
Welcome to happier abroad Luis_Miguel, glad you found our forum! Your right, if you can't find the right person, just stay single!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
As for differences between American vs. Mexican women, I have only this to say:
Women are always going to fall short, no matter what the nationality. Their brain waves and thinking patters are different than mens' and so relating to them is quite difficult. This is not to say that women can not be intelligent. Au contraire, women can be quite intelligent and can learn and store a lot of information. But there are certain forms of intelligence that they do lack. Women accross the world have a series of essential personality flaws:
-They are simplistic and rarely find beauty in complexity. This makes them horribly dull in conversation. They have nothing interesting to talk about and find interesting things boring because they lack the mental complexity to understand them.
-They allow their emotions to influence their thinking too much (this is true of some men, but very few men as compared to women). This hinders them from learning new things because often they reject truth for the simple reason that it may be a harsh reality that makes them feel uncomfortable. This is one of the biggest reasons women are often inconsiderate, immature and spineless cowards. Because they are unable to see their own flaws and work on improving themselves for no other reason that having their personal failings exposed makes them feel bad and so they reject the idea outright and never improve themselves.
-They are incredibly self-absorbed and vain and have an addiction to attention. They think very selfishly and constantly seek attention. They are so self-absorbed that they are often unable to sympathize with the suffering of others. Because they are attention addicts, they quickly become bored or angry if a conversation or situation isn't revolving around them and the way they look physically.
-They only find one thing interesting: interpersonal relationships. This is the one area where women are accross the board, more intelligent than men. They are better at building interpersonal relationships than we are because they have a kind of social intelligence that men lack. The draw is that everything is boring and dull to them unless it has something to do with relationships and sex... which in turn makes them boring, mundane, obscene and dull.
-They hate and fear men. This is a natural instinct. Woman has a prey animal mentality. She is like a deer or a rabbit which when it sees another animal in the forest, does not bother to ask its intentions but immediately assumes it is being hunted and responds by fleeing. Man is the predator, the hunter and they fear us. This does women a great deal of damage, because they do not bother to get to know men as we are or give us a chance. They stereotype and judge us from their own preconceptions and paranoid imagination. Women miss out on hundreds of chances to meet a great guy every day because they are too blinded by their own fear and hatred of men to give anyone a chance. This is why a man should not allow rejection by a woman to hurt his self-esteem... not even a bit. They are NOT rejecting YOU; they are rejecting an image and preconception they have in their own minds. They can't reject you because they don't even know you.
To make matters worse, women's hatred and fear of men cause them to be completely unsympathetic to men. They assume we are dangerous predators with no feelings or soul (and some of us really are) and therefore treat us like such. They show no compassion for men. They don't bother to wonder if you are lonely, or new in town and trying to make friends and connections, depressed, need attention, etc. They treat you as if you have no feelings and this is a very bad mistake for women to make. Why? Because it hurts men in such a way that it gradually hardens and cools them and causes them to have the same attitude toward women as women have shown toward them. Men who have been treated this way will adapt to the cold world around them by becoming, cold, hard-hearted and nihilistic. Moreover, the natural thing for the human mind to do is to return favors for favors. Thus, men will begin to see women as inhuman, since we see that they show no sympathy and showing no sympathy is the definition of inhumanity. Men do not do this on purpose, it happens gradually and subconsciously. The way women treat men hardens men into cold, heartless sociopaths. This is why men become players, rapists, cheaters and liars, etc. Women do themselves a tremendous diservice.
But it is a vicious cycle and it is compounded by the fact that players and rapists do bad things to women and women increase their coldness toward men, who in turn become players, mysogynists and rapists and so on... There is no breaking the cycle. That is just the way the world is.
Because of these issues... It is really hard to meet women, especially good women anywhere you are in the world. It will be this way in Mexico, it will be this way in China and it will be this way in the United States as well. The most important thing a man can do is realize what I stated above. Women do not reject YOU. They reject preconceived notions they have in their own mind. DO NOT ever allow a woman to tear down your self-esteem. That is where you loose the game. The most important thing is for a man to keep his self-esteem. A man should believe that he is an OK guy (not God or better than everyone else, because that just makes you an arrogant jackass and a psychopath) and that he deserves someone to love him. You should keep this belief whether you have a girlfriend or not, whether you get laid or not. It should be unshakeable and dependent on no outside factors. If it is not... then you need to mature into a place where it will be and it may take some time and you may have to go through some tough times and you may have to do things to improve your self-image. Work out, read, study, practice your social skills, get a job, start pursuing a career, kill your TV and video-game console (KILL THEM! THEY ARE KILLING YOU!)...etc. But you need to get there, there is no question about that. That is your first priority if you have any social problems or problems with women. When you get there, you have broken the yoke of society's oppression. It is a victory for you and a defeat for them. The world's goal is to enslave you to fear and to the belief that you are inferior. Your goal is to break that hold.
Anyway... that being said and before I go off on an unrelated tangent. Back to the difference between American and Mexican women. Like I said... women of all nationalities will generally share the above mentioned traits and defects. It is part of the female mental constitution. That is not to say that cultural differences do not exist between women of different nationalities, because there are.
The main differences I see in American women as opposed to foreign women are: Feminism and Materialism. Feminism is the no. 1 killer of women. It is the worst thing a woman can do to herself. Nature designed women a certain way. They cannot change this about themselves and it is why feminism will always be a delusion. Women were made by nature to be submissive and to desire dominant men. Nature has also made women creatures of relation and they have a deep and powerful need to have a man in their lives. If a man is not dominant, women will find him unattractive. Women cannot change this about themselves. But American women are raised to have a feminist mentality. They might not think that they are feminists and they might outright deny being feminists... but they were raised with a feminist mentality, a belief that a woman has to be independent and not allow a man to have authority over her. This means that American women are constantly trying to domineer over their men. They try to tell us what to do. If that doesn't work they try to slyly manipulate us into doing their bidding. They try to change us by making it conditional for the relationship or the sex to continue that we make modifications to our personalities. These modifications would always be such that they would make us weaker, more docile and passive... which is just not the way men are. If they cannot control him (which is what will happen if he is an alpha, dominant male whom she finds sexually attractive), they get very angry and resentful and eventually terminate the relationship. Such a woman will often be single for a long time afterward and eventually find another man. But she will be careful to find one who is weak and effeminate. One whom she can control. The relationship will seem healthy and may last for a long time. But deep inside that woman will be unhappy, unfulfilled. She is not attracted to him, she doesn't enjoy sex and she will come to resent him and abuse him and the relationship will eventually fail. This is why women with a feministic attitude nearly always fail in their relationships and it causes them tremendous internal suffering. Women will go their entire lives feeling deeply unfulfilled and depressed and causing chaos in their family and relationships without ever figuring out why. Most go their entire lives without figuring out that if you just changed that little bad habit of trying to control your man and learned to respect his manhood and his authority and accept him the way he is instead of trying to make him into some ridiculous and deluded fantasy... you could have a whole new, beautiful world.
The other major flaw of American women is materialism. Materialism is a personality flaw which is nearly universal in American people, men and women. It makes them shallow and inordinately fond of money and it makes their self esteem dependent upon material acquisitions. Combined with the feminist ideology it makes women very career oriented, which takes from their relationship lives. American women are very likely to choose their career over their boyfriend/significant other and are very likely to be horrible mothers because they spend all day at work and leave their children to be raised by daycare or boarding school or something like that. I don't care what some quack 19th century feminist thinker says... This is not natural and it is part of the reason American kids are so socially distant and stupid... they are being raised by TV and videogames... it is not natural, it is aberrant. Lastly, materialism means that an American woman who divorces or separates from her man is likely to want to hustle him for all that he has. She sues for alimony, child support, the house, the car and everything in them, the bank account, everything... she would sue you for your soul if she could, then sell it to the devil for money to buy shoes, clothes and booze. Americans are slaves to money... literally slaves. It is a debt society where people work constantly to pay debts, whether it is student debt or mortgage debt or car debt. Debt is what runs the porn industry... it is all the so called "sugar babies" going out to sell themselves for a few hundred quid so they can pay off all their debts. American women's fondness for money is compounded by their debts and by the fact that the American media has created this idea that prostitution is some kind of an accomplishment. This creates another serious flaw in American women... they are almost all whores. What I mean by that is not that they sleep around, but that they love to get paid to have shallow, shameful, venereal disease risking sex. I can understand and even relate to people who are promiscuous, because the need for sex is very powerful. But exchanging sex for money is aberrant and humiliating in a way that transcends logic. Why do you think there is so much sugar-babying through craigslist in America? Why do you think there is so much porn? In this culture it is considered an accomplishment, women do it to pay their debts, make a quick buck, enjoy five minutes of fame (more like shame) and feel like they are so hot that men pay to have sex with them. Would you date or marry a woman who had been paid for sex by some dude she met on craigslist? who had made a porno-flick? The number of American girls who have done this is staggering. No thanks.
Foreign women do not have these defects and so are more likely to respect their husbands, not merely because they would get beaten, because believe me: The idea that foreign men are all chauvinistic wife-beaters is nothing but a stereotype and absolutely ridiculous. I know Mexican men who treat their wives with utter kindness, love and devotion. Never cheat, never put down or disrespect and never raise a hand to strike. But the man is the authority of the family. The Bible says in the 5 chapter of Ephesians that women should submit to their husbands, for man is the head of the woman as Christ is the head of his church. The Bible was written by extremely wise people, enlightened people. St. Paul didn't just pull that out of his "opinion"... He wrote it for a reason and he knew what he was talking about. Trust me, it is the only way a relationship will ever work out... if the man is the authority of the house. He can treat his wife like a queen if he likes, he can pour love and favors on her... but he must always lead and she must always follow... Feminists can eat a pile of horse-dung if they think otherwise... feminists are wrong, about nearly everything. Materialism is also not so often an issue. Often when a foreign couple divorces or separates, the woman just goes to live with her parents. No lawsuits, not squabbles over money (which is worthless), no lives ruined, no custody battles, no nonsense asking the government to arbitrate your family dispute because you are not responsible or adult enough to manage your own life and relationships. Although, with globalization and the trend of copycating America which has infected the world, such instances are on the rise in the rest of the world. This is why AmericanInMexico and jamesbond tell us to NEVER get involved with an American woman.
Hope that was enlightening and sorry if I kind of went on a rant. Cheers.
Very insightful commentary. I value the observations of a non-American familiar with America more than that of an American because it is unvarnished and unrestrained by patriotism.
I would disagree with you only where you think women the world over have this cynicism about men. The more traditional societies have women who respect men for what we do and what we are. The "modern" cultures tend to fall into the categories that you describe. Travel far and wide to see what I mean.