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здраствите! Hello Everybody, I am a new member to this forum, but have been a dedicated lurker. I live on the border of Toronto Canada, but when I read forum posts and the articles written by Winston, I just replace the word American with Canadian, because at least where I live most of the stuff he rights is spot on accurate. Our greatest benefit is our healthcare system, it may be slow and the services for mental health are abysmal but for the most part is a blessing and one of the few things of this Country that I am proud of. Here if you get sick, treatment times can be slower, but you will not go bankrupt from hospital bills, and private health insurance here is used for drugs and dentistry etc. I don't understand the American philosophy that illness and accidents should bankrupt a person.
I am from a Jewish family from the FSU and Poland, although I have a little English/Irish Canadian in me. I live in a very ethnic neighbourhood which imo is a redeeming quality, because this country as a whole has very little cohesive culture. Multiculturalism has its failures, but at least we get to keep some of our heritage, it can serve as a bulwark against Anglo-Feminsm, and in this city all different races grow up together, so there is less overt racism at least in the Urban Areas. I despise Racism, but I do not confuse racism with politically incorrect cultural criticism. The Black culture here (excepting 1st generation African immigrants, who are confused by this culture) is adopted from the states. Gang Violence, Thug-Worship and Glorification, Racism against Asians and Europeans, perpetual victimhood etc. And the worst victims of this culture are black. I had a good Black friend who was mercilessly bullied and threatened because he did not speak in Ebonics (even I of all people have absorbed some of this way of speaking), and cared about his future and school. He had to switch high school and it was people of all races who were bullying him.
I myself have been bullied most of my life for being different. I was always the scapegoat, intelligent, socially awkward and Naive and Short, with a tic disorder. I learned quickly in my early life to respond with violence. I got a reputation as extremely brutal, but I was being tormented everyday. I never worked well with authority figures and consequently spent most of my child hood in detention and "gulag schools" The few teachers that understood me I got along great with. I was tested gifted from a young age and also had the ADHD and Aspergers labels slapped on me. I was medicated, Doctors playing Russian Roulette with my body and mind, when a med caused me to become psychotic and attack random people for no reason I was punished.
Ive gathered a very cynical view of the world that we live in. In high school, I was bullied but didn't fight back anymore. I had no luck with girls, I was mocked that I was "gay" I have gay friends now and they were mocked even more but obviously for them the indifference of girls didn't matter to them. I noticed from the beginning that girls were attracted to the bad boy's. I could not fit in, even the other people from immigrant families, most of them assimilated into this culture. Sure I enjoyed listening to rap music, bit I didn't let it control my thinking. My mental state has always been pretty bad and deteriorated even worse. I was diagnosed with Anxiety, OCD, Bi-Polar Disorder and even a Borderline Personality. Since I was always rejected, I turned to Drugs and Alcohol. I used to Drink very heavily, I smoke alot of weed but also use ketamine, opiates, benzodiazepines and MDMA and LSD. I think about suicide and violence a lot and when I do the drugs it lets me care less about the bitchy hypocritical women and allows me to relax and do my university work. The Doctors seem to be blind to the toxic cultural environment I live in. I know I have illness anyway, but this culture makes it 100x worse, people treat it as a character flaw, but it is an illness like cancer, I didn't ask to get these conditions. I don't understand why my younger sisters boyfriends are all unemployed, and look unkempt, but alot of my reasonably well groomed and academic friends can't find dates. I honestly think the only reason Ive slept with a couple girls is because I can sometimes be a "bad boy" who has been in jail. In this country if you dare speak up against the feminist tyranny you are labeled mentally disturbed. I don't aspire to become a millionaire, Id like to be a doctor or scientist who helps people. Id like to meet a girl or girls who appreciate my kindness and compassion and I will look after and protect, and she will be happy to have a man that is honest, and genuinely cares my well being. Too bad it seems like a dream. Ive been genuinely flattered when a girl has told me I'm good looking and that I have a good sense of humour. I mean If the girls think Im hot and this is how little I get I dont understand whats going on.
Its been a long rant Ive needed it. Im deciding whether after I finish my school semester and probation to travel. I will be coming into some money. Toronto is one of the most Feminist places on earth, Im all for equal rights but feminism isn't about equal rights. Its about having their cake and eating it. It is not feminine at all. It is run by ugly masculine man-hating women who want to destroy our civilization. I like feminine women. I especially like the smart, studious and shy girls. I want a woman who's eyes will light up with joy when she sees me. Who will be upfront and honest with me. Who will come to me for protection if she is afraid or frightened. I would like to travel to Eastern Europe, Israel, and East Asia. I work so damn hard just to continue each day with all the pain Im in. Most of the Anglo bitches and douchebag guys here wouldnt last a day in my shoes. Im tired of playing games. I want to be genuine, The very few girls ive met whether Ive dated or not, ask me who the lucky girlfriend is and are perplexed when I explain. I dont have one. Sadly Ive upset a couple girls by regarding there feelings with skepticism, until I explain how much Ive been hurt in the past. I refuse to take advantage of these type of girls, and would never cheat with them if they have boyfriends.
Thats enough for my long rant of a post, I hope to hear from you guys, your experiences, thoughts comments. I just want to figure out how I can be the best man I can be, and I can find a girl who is worthy of my coma pinion ship and love. I want know in my heart I must be strong to have made it this far, Id like to meet a girl who also feels alone and unloved and I want to be the best I can be for her. I want my girls happiness to make the Feminazi c**ts jealous.
I've always been different, ever since I can remember. Ive always been an honest, decent guy but in this culture that is a liability. On the flip I tend to have an anger problem. Im 5'4, 145 lbs, a little more on the muscular side, and my background is Russian and Polish Jewish. The irony my family left those countries to find better opportunities for there kids and now I consider returning...