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Hello lostinthe80's, welcome to the forum. Your right, the suburbs of Chicago are a complete social desert. There are practically NO single women here, it's like living in an episode of the twilight zone.
From your screen name it sounds like you like the 80's, the music was certainly better back then. Check out this popular music video below from 1984 from Laura Branigan.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."