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Hello everyone and I know I will be quite a bit active on this site as I have viewed many posts because there are questions to be asked.
However, before I introduce myself, I ask one thing, please no hate, I have seen ALOT of hate messages about Filipinas and let me put it this way, I am Black American and I see a lot of bad in this so called skin color that almost separates Black Americans from society.
Anyways the name is Tyrell Gardner, I am Black American, due to bad representation of the Black American communities and social segregation during my childhood, I do not like much of the Black community. Furthermore, I use community because it isn't necessarily about race but a group of people who formed together after a hard time of oppression and found a way to live life. Also, it is a true fact that despite the Black American communities being predominately, people with African descent many individuals in the community were mixed and not even having African descent in their blood line. However, before I continue on to the rest of my introduction, I do appreciate the suburban culture in which a person tries to live with society while maintaining specific cultures and traditions.
Right now I am in school attaining my AS degree in computer programming, I like the field and have many plans to become established, however, this was not my primary choice for a career path, as during my first marriage, I was just being the man wanting to support my family and switched Culinary to Computer Programming and for those who has lived in Florida and know about the huge oil spill, then you would know that it ruined Florida's economy to a great deal. However, my drive to being one of those career centric Americans trying to live the American dream has become redundant and my reasons for this will be implied and stated.
On a side note, for any of those who are interested, my goal was to work in a firm or video game company to gain experience, while working towards having my own company for developing software for multimedia or becoming a project leader of a multimedia group as I do not want to lead a team more than manage everything.
So anyways, right now I am 29, still very young but slowly have lost love for my own country, I feel it is too oppressing and dangerous despite, I never felt comfortable with the social scene here is many people are either anti-social or pretend to be nice. In fact, it seems that people in America are more worried about working their butts off, making a lot of money and gaining as much material possessions as possible. On the other hand, I really just want to live life, I do not want riches or all the fancy stuff, I really just want a simple life and work towards extra things like travel.
Although, this may contradicting, I do have a love for technology and motorcycles but when it comes to those, I am very simplistic.
For example, I have a very good laptop I used for developing games and playing games but I keep a very cheap cell phone and phone service. All motorcycles I have owned has been used and like over 10 years old.
Now to get back on to point here, it is obvious that I have struggled with the American ways for a long time, but the only thing I see that America has compared to any other country is access to virtually anything. Additionally, my struggles did not end with America, as my first wife, whom is divorcing me, made things a living hell.
In short, I had a bad temper, I regrettably laid my hands on her, she was lazy, promiscuous, unappreciative, immature as she was more worried about going out with her friends than taking care of the house and a very big pet peeve of mine was that she did not even want to fix herself up. What made me so upset about all this is that I was doing my job as a husband , working, paying the bills, before we had our child, I took care of her child, brought food to the table, focused on improving my health, especially trying to lose weight. Give her everything she needed and wanted. Multiple cars, cells phone, clothes, a place to live and to make things worst, I thought giving her marriage and a child would improve our relationship.
Look, I am not trying to make myself sound like a good guy but that was a lazy woman, with poor values, that always expected everyone to accept everything about herself instead of improving herself and gaining a higher amount of self respect and the stupidest part of all this was because I wanted sex and believed that no other woman love me. Trust me, the sex was there and very easy.
To wrap that up, June 2015, I was arrested, lost my home and job, she got restraining order on me and I perfectly understand a persons right and need for safety but because how she abuses her right as the parent with primary custody of our son, Johnathan, and despite the year of therapy I did. I am becoming increasingly agitated with America and how hard it is for me to have a good life and be with Johnathan. To make things worst, I knew but didn't want to believe she was cheating on me most of the time and I found out from another person that she already had another man lined up.
Before I met this one very special Filipina, I hated myself for having these values of having just one woman and doing everything I can to work things out and make a good relationship. Hell, I even started dealing with escorts and prostitutes to satisfy myself. I do not mind the business, I just do not like the reasons I was indulging in these services.
So anyways, after a year, and basically a month before this post, I decided to find an Asian girlfriend with the intent of long term relationship, companionship and sex. Had all plans to travel and indulge in the women but after creating an account of FilipinoCupid.com and getting the platinum membership, after talking to quite a few girls, being rejected by one, and meeting two scammers, this one Filipina, whom I have never spoke to before, was very upfront about being interested in knowing me and how she wants a black me to love her. I decided to give her a fair chance, however, I was skeptical of this because I know for a fact that Black people are one of the least accepted races world wide. But shortly, after getting each others personal contact information, exchanging photos and giving a brief introduction of ourselves and a little about our past, I felt this strong connection between us, something I never felt with anyone before. Even though, I love Asian women this was not a case me fantasizing about banging her brains out, this feeling is different and hard to describe.
But the effect it has on me is that I feel very secure with her, that feeling at first was so strong, I wanted to break up with her because I kind of felt that this would become a deep relationship and I wasn't ready for that, ya know, with all the emotional baggage from my first marriage. But I feel so secure with her that in the beginning when she told me how she does not want to be lonely anymore, I told her back about what I really wanted. What I truly wanted was just one female I can spend a long time with will love me and let me love them also. But what surprises me the most is everything she does without expecting much from me. I told her my past, how my divorce isn't finalized yet, she knows I am in school and do not have a lot of money and that I support Johnathan. Plus, she goes out the way to give me affection or to let me know she is thinking of me.
Well, now this is where I have lost my "American" drive because I understand how different the Philippines is, I understand that I now want to leave the country because of my girlfriend, and my plan now is to meet her, get my AS degree, if there is enough security in our relationship I will go to Philippines, invest into stocks and do freelance work as a computer programmer, start a blog and a Youtube channel. Maybe even persuade her to come to China later in our lives due to the fact that because of America, their market is so strong.
And for those who think I am a love sick puppy, I am aware of alot, I do not try to know everything but I think of much such as I am aware that my girlfriend really wants to come to America, she is not good at conversations, she does not such much about herself, she gets jealous, she is more dependent than interdependent, I am aware of what she does for work, beauty pageants and photo shoots, and that she wants kids, very happy she wants only 2 kids and that I am again involved with another woman where I am doing most of the thinking again.
But lets be real with each other, we all have downsides and god put us on this earth to love each other and in truth, it is because I secure I feel with her, no spidey sense ever kicking off with this woman and that we share the same values is the biggest reason why I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
In the end, this is what I wanted my life and I am aware I am another lover boy but I am happy to submit myself to only one love
This forum is full of racists, but then so is Florida, so you should be used to it.
Anyway, you need to do some serous thinking about the consequences of that Filipina falling out of love with you if you marry her, bring her to the USA and have children with her. You are already on the hook for child support for one son, plus you will have to pay alimony to that Filipina as part of immigration law until she can find a job, which might take forever, plus child support for any more children with her. If you don't pay, off to jail you go. Florida jail too, not a pretty place.
Of course, this won't ever happen to you two, you two are in love and the love will last forever, right? I'm already tired after writing just a few sentences about your situation... But like I said, you need to do some serous thinking and investigating of the law that applies when you bring a foreign woman to the USA.
Tyrell here is what i get from your post:
You are black but don't like the behaviour of blacks as it stigmatises you. Good. I doubt anyone likes the behaviour of blacks. That is why they are despised the world over. Nothing to do with their colour. Just their behaviour.
You are studying IT, not Grand Theft Auto, break and enter, crack dealing or hustling, like many of your people LOL. Kidding.
But then you say you beat yo 'ho, and have been in prison. WTF? That is typical black behaviour which you claim to despise. Prison in florida must be full of blacks. But then what prison isn't, even in europe. Ive flown into Florida. I could barely understand a word the black customs lady said, besides her taking an instant dislike to me for coming from south africa. I thought it was not english, but an american behind me translated it for me.
Yes I am racist, proudly so as racism exists from having open eyes to reality. But i am also a biker. I ride everyday, all seasons, all weather, but i prefer riding dirt. So that makes you a brother. I greet all bikers, even Harley riders I once stopped for a black delivery boy broken down on a chinese bike and took him pillion Did that get stares. But he is a biker by choice and black only by birth, so he is a brother so can't live him on the side of the road.
The Flipina, my guess is she will fark you over. Either scam you for flight money, or if she comes to USA will dump you once she has a green card. If you go there, you will end up paying for her entire family and still be stigmatised. Either way they will suck you dry and hide behind words of 'true love'. Don't be duped.
First off, I already mentioned I regrettably hit her, I do not take pride in hurting any human being, I was not ready for all the stuff, I was insecure, I tried making her into a house wife, I have never been to prison, only to jail. There was a lot of reasons for many of my poor actions. And I understand alot of people will hate me for my actions and I am marked for life with that.
But even though I was forced to do Batterers Intervention Program and take counseling, despite that and even having the option to take the low income counseling, I actually wanted real help and paid $200 - $600 a month for real counseling and therapy. In the end, it was not until after I chose to surrender to humanity and stop fighting humanity that everything has changed and my heart had lightened to a great degree.
Ok, you are racist and I understand that but look at things this way, I could have lied about much in my introduction, make myself seem like a victim but I am just being real with myself and everyone else because I am now living life instead of trying to break it.
Sadly, this is irony, because not only you mention that this is typical life behavior and me no longer breaking life because some of my biggest idols lived in the concept of breaking life and violence to unify a nation.
Some of these individuals are the notorious Oda Nobunaga, and Toyatomi Hideyoshi. Furthermore, what made things even more surprising is that Hideyoshi killed his first wife. But of course we know he had serious issues picking a fight with Korea and China twice.
But anyways, despite me actually having a mental capacity, my judgement is slightly altered due to the hormonal changes in my brain, but I am still going to go in this relationship with Sherly with an open mind and faith in her.
But hey, we only live once, I am just choosing to be more liberal with my life
Also, thank you telling me that I need to be aware of the implications of marrying a foreigner.
So there are men who beat their wives in real life? I thought that was just a Hollywood invention. Lol. Why would any man do that unless she was unfaithful or hit you first?
Its nice that you admit to being a racist. Doesnt it feel good to be honest about something so taboo? Isnt it so real? Doesnt it make you free to say what you are openly and honestly?
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
If I was you, OP, I'd concentrate on my career before jumping into another relationship especially not long after you've been screwed over in one.
And a Filipina who openly states that she really wants to come to America and is reluctant to tell you much about herself would be a cause for concern in my opinion.
Hate is the wrong way to go, and race means nothing to me.
I understand that you were seriously provoked by this bad woman.
However your violent response was wrong, it will only result to make your life more miserable for you, and finally as you noticed yourself, divorce in USA is only a business for women and lawyers.
The only way to go is quickly to move away and to start a new life, cut any contact with this woman and her friends totally.
As far as I understand you never met her. An internet-relationship means nothing.
To talk about anything in future, you have to meet a woman face to face and to spend some time with her.
Women are very skillful to provoke a violent response, and it should be mentioned that women are as violent as men.
Forcing the man out of the house with a restraining order is the best position to file for a lucrative divorce, especially in case of children.
Western women, regardless their race, are legally well advised by many feminist organizations, while this black man never got any help, never any consultation for his personal problems. I understand him and his situation. Men in Western pro-feminist countries are 2nd class citizens, no question about it.
The question is now, how will he regulate his future. Will he really move away, cut all contacts and start a new life? Or will he become weak again and return to this black ghetto from where he is coming from?
Yep definitely - and they're very devious at manipulating a situation to make them look like little miss innocent.
Guys, thanks for the comments.
Btw, I am happy, to see a response from both Yohan and Winston, I value your reputation from the many posts that I have read from you two alone.
Here's the thing, I know what my intentions are but time is on my hand, as I got hit with divorce in November 2015, because I was saving money for a lawyer so that I can keep my 4 days a week with my son, I have been buying time, we have yet to go to the next process, which is mediation.
I know that to many a relationship without meeting someone is nothing but fantasy until you meet them, thing is that I will be going to the Philippines, hopefully for 2 months but that is dependent on whether or not my set of classes requires me to do any proctored testing.
I plan to go to the Philippines many times but I do not think it is too soon for another relationship. It was was in June of 2015, when everything came to an end.
Anyways, it is a good thing I know she wants to come to America because that is no different than the fact that I want bang the crap out of an Asian woman that i can have to myself.
I say this because I defend for people in general when it comes to motives and reasons. At the same time, I know many people are just looking out for me and want me to fully understand the path I am choosing and to do what is best.
I will not lie, it is not that she don't tell me about as I really know a lot about her; it is more a fact that I am used to woman who can carry conversations, give input, opinions and share thoughts. But this will be in another discussion as I will be wanting tips on how to improve my conversation skills.
But the thing is that I must fully accept she is a simple woman who wanted a black man to care for. Trust me, that I had a lot of skepticism of her when she said that as anyone can say they want a specific race.
But anyways, rather our relationship is real or not, out of respect, I will not give too many details about her or relationship.
But I will say this though, she is the total opposite of my first wife, as Jackie was an extremely self absorbed, hyper vocal woman.
And she isn't the first woman who wanted me after relations ended with Jackie. Sherly is the first one out of this country and the first SANE woman to have interest in me and don't consider me an investment husband.
But funny story, this one woman, Maria, met me at a temporary job assignment. After a couples days we exchanged numbers, under the impression of a quick hook up, at least I assumed that. As I only wanted one thing.
Well, shortly after that she did everything she could to make me hers.
Well long story short, I never fully tried to get sex from her and she was so insane I had to threaten to call the police on her and block her.
What made things worse was that after a couple weeks she came back acting normal and wanting me back, I fell for it, plus I was still on a dry spell.
Again, I went through hell to get rid of her again. But, things came to an end finally.
That happened in November of 2015. After that, I stuck to escorts and then wanted to enjoy some fine Asian wine and cheese. Preferably Thai, but in August 2016, things took a turn with my new friend.
Anyways, to bring this to a conclusion, what happens between me and Sherly does not matter, I am not only trying to leave America for Sherly but I am also doing this for Jonathan's mental health.
Only few can understand what it is like to do your best to be the best father and to be a good citizen but to only keep getting beat down by a woman and her family, watching how their negativity affect everyone around them.
And to answer your question Yohan, I am not going to return to anything. My intention is to have a good life, poor or rich.
Winston it is easier to admit to being racist. Then I don't have to say stupid lies like we are all the same, i'm not racist I have black friends etc. And liberals can'take use their ridiculous debate killers by calling you racist or a nazi. I would just say thank you. Any discussion where only 1 side can express their views and none other allowed is a waste of time. The world is awash with this cultural tyranny when discussing race differences or things like the hollow hoax. No discussion allowed. Accept the pc view or prison or ridicule.
What is racism. It is not hating people because of their colour or by what name they call God. It is the behaviour associated with the people of that race which is abhorrent. Most, but not all. Like going by usa FBI stats 75% of black men are or will have gone to prison. So I despise their penchant for thievery and criminality. If I don't like white thieves either why is that OK? Of the other 25%, some may be decent, but their culture is so different to mine what is the point pretending we can be friends? The most common ground is with people of your own race and culture. Other races also have a right to their place in the sun. Except we won't be casting the same shadow holding hands. Jews and asians practice this so why is it not ok for whites? Can any non jew move to IsraEl, or white person to Saudi, like muzzies and blacks flood europe?
This brings me to why I don't see interracial marriage working. Like with Chinese or other asians. Blacks I could never have any intimate contact with. Most marriages fail over money according to what you read. The next most common issue would be culture reasons. It was for me with a very English ex. Failure would be not just divorce but are both truly happy. ISsues would include The way you want to raise kids, faith, manners, norms etc. Asian culture would be different to mine. many more seeds of failure would exist. Their is more compatibily with another white person, no matter what country they are from.
Besides that, my ancestors were white. For 100 000 years they passed on white genes. What right do I have to throw all that away and end it, leaving only mixed race offspring? No, my happiness is only fleeting in history and irrelevant. What matters long term is that I passed on what I inherit as it got it, and raise my kids with that sense of responsibility to breed only with quality whites.
Even the bible tells you take a wife from amongst your own, not to sow 2 different seeds in the same soil or weave cloth of 2 different threads. It tells you to love my neighbour yes, but my neighbours are White if I follow the verses to stay amongst my own.ì And good fences make good neighbours. So I'm not going to hop the wall and pomp another race.
Yeah it's like taking a huge dump after being constipated for a year!