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I enjoy these introductions and it feels kind of cathartic to tell your story and share the frustrations encountered in our home countries.
I'm a little older than most on here I suspect, being late 40's, but I like to think I'm not just a typical middle aged guy. Well I'm minus the beer gut for a start. I workout 5 days a week and have never been in better shape...except for a few wrinkles !
I'm average looking, still have most of my hair, good teeth blah blah. I'm also fortunate to have a decent business so no financial worries. So overall you might think I wouldn't have too many problems finding a reasonably attractive women. Well not quite. I'd say my achilles heel was my height, which at 5'8 is below average. And as I have discovered women in the west are obsessed with height !
Immediately after getting divorced about 10 years ago, I went online dating. I was pursuing English caucasian women in the UK, but quickly became disillusioned by the quality of women and lack of responses. Finally I got something going, but with a British born Asian girl. It lasted 2 years and after I went straight back online.
Same story as before, attractive women just didn't reply. A case of settle for a land whale or stay at home and jerk off. So I changed tactics and went after Asians. Things started looking up, response rate was up and they were generally younger, more attractive and in better shape.
This went on for a few years. During that time I went on a lot of dates, about 300 in fact and I had a series of short term flings with quite a number of Asian women from various countries, a Russian and a Colombian. It's interesting that in all that time I never managed to get one single English girl into bed !
Then a year ago it all changed. Fewer women were coming online, especially Asians and those that did were shocking. I switched to Tinder but no joy.
So that was pretty much the end of my UK dating life. And now I'm hunting abroad. I had one trip so far to Bangkok and found a new world. It's not a pancea as I'll never have a lasting relationship with a Thai, they lie and cheat on you the moment your back is turned. But at least you can have some fun, and with women much younger !
I'm heading back to Bkk in a few weeks and hope to explore other countries too…
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Wow, 300 dates lol. I became disillusioned dating only 35-40 women in the UK off online sites before jacking it in altogether around seven years ago. Since then I've been dating overseas in the Philippines. Like you, I'm in my forties too.
In the past I've dated a few Asians both on and offline who either were born here or have obtained UK residency, but I wasn't overly impressed by them. They tend to adopt a western attitude.
I know people think I'm crazy going on that many dates, and I must admit I got worn out in the end. Most of them looked pretty bad in the flesh, although a few were attractive. The success rate wasn't high either, most first dates went nowhere. Usually what happens is either you have no interest in them or if you do like them they reject you. It's hard work and demoralising.
So are you living in the uk now still or have you moved to the Phillipines ?
What do you do to keep in shape? Does it work for body types that have trouble gaining any muscle or weight?
Self-improvement addict. Always striving for perfection.
Why do you date them? It is a waste of time and money, boring and as you say, demoralising. Can't you find a heifer that wants or needs sex and just do her?. One of the average looking ones. No need to date or be involved. In the mean time, pursue your hobbies, go to Bangkok, whatever. You are in a good place; have money, single healthy. You only lack interests, so make women your interest. They should not be. They are toys, sidelines.
5 ft 8 doesn't seem short for Britain. Most people there seem about that so it seems more like average? On the tube I seem to recall looking above them and most seemed about that height, and slight build.
What is common there are bad teeth, bad skin and obesity. You don't, again are in a good place.
Maybe you are too focused on heifers and the problem is not your height, just that they sense desperation for a relationshit. 300 dates sounds like desperate to be involved.
Think of things you always wanted to do and do them. I bet most won't involve women. Maybe through those things you will meet women. I've met plenty women through bikes, even it is a man's hobby. Pull in somewhere on a muddy bike and women look at you. And i pomped a few of them . I even had relationshits with some, until about 5 years ago I realised it was a losing proposition and it best just to pomp one regular but not be involved. The quality and character of women available at present doesn't warrant any further commitment. As you say, the yellow and brown ones aren't any better than the white ones.
Out of the women I dated online in the UK, the vast majority looked better in their profile pics than in the flesh and I only met about 5 out of the 35 or 40 I dated for a second time. Two of those I had a relationship for a couple of months.
The last three I dated around the end of 2009 had to be the worst. It was like scraping the bottom of a barrel and that's when I decided to look overseas - but yeah, I'm still living in the UK.
The bottom of the barrel depends on what you want. If you want to take them out and be seen and to be attracted to them, ja it matters. I keep attractive ones for that, but they all want a relationshit. That means i cant stick my dick in there. For sex, what matters is that they don't want strings, give no shit or demands outside of bed, and how they are in bed. Out of curiosity ive done a couple of land whales. A bj is a bj. One or 2 were on fire in bed. Only sometimes it is hard to get it up for a land whale. So it is only tick off the box kind of thing.
Middle of the road is a 5 or 6 who has either a career, putting kids through school or varsity, has no time for shit but just needs sex. They won't be on dating sites has they have no time or interest in that. The higher the rating the more shit you will have. I want to avoid that more than I want to pomp hottest. Done that and all brought plenty shit and misery.
You know that saying; no matter how hot she is, someone is sick and tired of her shit. It is true.
If you want a relationshit and companion the rules change and you must Wade through the muck of what other men have dumped looking for a diamond and put up with shit
Everyone is different but for me the attractiveness level of the girl makers a huge difference to my sexual experience.
Some of the women I've had over the last few years here in the UK were pretty average in the looks department and I struggled to get excited. The average age was probably late 30's. the youngest I had was 30 and one was a year older than me. I tried a landwhale once and had to give up halfway through the act ! Another time when I was struggling to finish with this girl, I actually put an ipad on the bed beside her and put porn on while I had sex with her !
You hear so much about older men dating young attractive women that I naively thought it was possible over here. But on Tinder I would rarely get a match with anyone below 40.
There's also a difficulty with location. For the most choice you need to be located in a city. I'm about 1 hour outside London but most of the women are located in and around the capital, and they aren't interested in meeting someone outside. Moving into the city would be an option but have you seen the prices in London !
Sure if I didn't care what she looked like I could get a gf tomorrow. But I couldn't live with it. I admit I crave youth and beauty.
When I came to Bangkok last time and met this 28 yr old, she was pretty cute and knew how to perform. I hadn't experienced sexual feelings like that for a long time. She turned out to be a lying whore but that's another story, which I told elsewhere on this forum.
Ps regarding the gym, it's nothing out of the ordinary. I'm basically pumping iron and split my routines into 3 days. Legs, Arms/Back, Chest/shoulders/triceps. And then just keep rotating. That way each session isn't too demanding. You can't work your whole body properly in one session. I also watch what I eat, no sweet stuff, rarely snack, plenty of protein and fresh veg etc etc. You have to be disciplined.
Any fruits/veggies that DO NOT spoil in like, a day? That's the only reason I don't incorporate more into my diet (right now I'm heavy protein). I want to relax and feel rushed to make a meal simply because they'll spoil, so if you know of any preservation methods, I'm all ears.
Self-improvement addict. Always striving for perfection.
Sorry the only vegetables are the ones that contact me on dating sites. Last night on Tinder I right swiped everything aged 35 to 50 in the UK, about 100 in total. I got just two matches. Both of them the most unattractive and obese women you can imagine. The results are appalling. They don't even see my height on Tinder so it can't be that. My pictures are pretty good and I'm definitely not ugly myself, about average I'd say. Maybe even better than average taking age into consideration. I do wear glasses these days, dunno whether that puts them off.
I can't believe it's this bad, It's totally insane. The women in this country must be so innundated with attention their pickiness has risen to unbelievable levels. If you're a normal guy you don't have a chance unless you dramatically lower your standards.
Compare that to Thailand where I get replies from approx 50% of women. They are aged 25 to 35, slim and often attractive. I even tested Poland and Ukraine. Once again some attractive matches.
They're parallel universes.
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