hello, i'm seeking advice

[Willsoen]

Hi!

i am a country-boy from the rocky mountains in MT, USA. i live in an mountain valley with about '100k Population presently.
So 20 miles away, My family owns land out in the middle of nowhere. its county is 11k population. Honestly the place is perfect for developing into a farmstead growing my own fruits & vegetables, farming fish and hunting deer.

Now I don't drive, Zero social life I've been single for all of my life, I'm approaching 25 and I'm battling severe debilitating depression. At heart i feel younger than most 18 y'r of experience..


I live in a "small town" valley and i feel like i haven't the chance to have grown up here having been left behind from my peers about a decade ago. Did not make it to highschool.
My family is very supportive and would sponsor me anywhere i want to go.


Alright i feel like i have no connection to people that live around me let alone as far as dating is concerned i think there's no competition like fish in a barrel how am i supposed to compete. I've lived in social isolation for more than half of my life now this year.




I don't want to live abroad where i am at in my life right now but i want to find a lover that would also wish to live with me. Do you think that in all of this big wide world it's feasible to find one abroad that is willing to live in the rural countryside?

[Adama]

Maybe a woman from a rural part of another country. There used to be one Irish-American man named Irlandes who posted elsewhere, who now lives in a mountainous village somewhere in Mexico. He seemed to think men could find wives down there. He still has a website on one of those free proboard forums.

I'm sure there are other countries as well. Philippines also has far out of the way places, from what I hear.

[gsjackson]

A young woman I knew in Bucharest expressed an interest in living out in nature -- described it as her dream (as was coming to the U.S.). That city is crawling with attractive young women, and it's such a congested and urban-stressful environment, with awful drivers, that I imagine there are plenty more who'd like to get out in the country. But you'd have to go there and spend time with them.

[Willsoen]

I mean silly, i don't want to come across as a loser shits tough .. then when i think of somebody going to other places sourly to meet women is just that how do i go about finding somebody likeminded abroad, Maybe i could meet up with somebody from website contacts. I guess sort of what i am looking for is an area for my sort of niche. There is a lot that i don't know.

[LFL]

Good advice above. Change your mindset about finding love abroad. These people are not losers, even if they are socially out of place in American culture. You have to do with your life what will make you happy. I married a beautiful Ukrainian. When we go in public together, the men are envious and the women are ... well... irrelevant and they know it. I actually don't suggest you should feel compelled to take action on your "love life" now. It's important to remember, you will ALWAYS be able to find younger, more beautiful women abroad then you can locally, or anywhere in the U.S. for that matter. My advice is for you to put marriage and love worries on the back burner until you're at least 32. Focus on your financial / employment. Find some work you can grow into as a career. Don't get into a serious relationship with someone you won't be happy with just because of social pressures or American culture. Then, when you are around 32, start considering options with foreign women. Trust me. As someone with a beautiful foreign wife, I can tell you, I have zero worry about being considered a loser. Always remember, you have this option in your future. I just think you're not ready yet, and that's not a bad thing.

[Willsoen]

Thank you for your response I appreciate where your coming from i understand. My situation is heartbreaking, I'm the one who feels like the loser. I'm definitely not ready to go abroad yet but I'm wondering about opening that door. I don't know that anybody would be interested in a country life, that is mostly what i want to figure out. I don't know how i can compete I am so far removed from society. Its stupid. I don't want to throw myself into marriage. I don't know what i can do. Personally I'm focusing on finding acceptance more than a career, we're talking severe isolation here.

[LFL]

Compete with whom ? Foreign women do not have western men beating down their door. There are WAY more foreign women looking for a guy to commit to them and treat them well than there are guys willing to go abroad. A lot of the guys finding love abroad are of the "never had a girlfriend" variety, also. Just know that you have this option when you are ready, so don't worry about living a life without love.

Are you able to make decent income ?

[Zambales]

You should be able to find a nice innocent English-speaking Filipina who lives ruraly and is accustomed to that way of life, but you would need to spread your wings and go across to look for her. There are a few on the dating sites but using these can be treacherous especially for those new to them.

To a degree, I can understand the isolation. At 16, a few months after leaving school my family moved over 400 miles away to a town which was basically in the middle of nowhere. It was friendly enough but after a couple of years I developed an urge to leave and to experience the bigger picture so to speak.

At 18 I wasn't streetwise at all when I flew the nest. I was like a young calf in a world plagued with predators. It was very tough and it took me several years to learn the "trade". It was a steep learning curve.

This is the problem you can have when moving away from a quiet friendly laid-back area to a bustling location where people are less affable and less trustworthy. It would be advantageous though if you knew of someone who already resided in such a place. Perhaps a relative? Employment is also an issue.

What is your main objective though? Is it to move away or to find a wife and carry on living where you currently are?

I echo what a previous poster said about not rushing into marriage - but this doesn't mean you can't go looking. The first ever thoughts I had on dating a woman from abroad came five months prior to actually meeting one in the Philippines. It was quick, and yes, things didn't materialize the way I had hoped in the end but I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever about taking the bull by the horns.

I think the worst thing you can do though is to carry on in the same vein. You need to change something otherwise your depression will deteriorate.

[Willsoen]

To be blunt I've been living in the basement and without contact outside of family for the past 13 years. I say i have doubts about standing up to competition because they're at a different stage of life. There is no comparison.

It makes me so f***ing angry. The best thing i have going for me now is the fact that i have not been with someone. I would understand why some choose to be celibate, I'm wearing it okay. Its like camouflage that is protecting me from emotional trauma. I don't think a person would be very likely to find one in proportion to myself in this society honestly the rat race is so f***ed! Its like joining the ponzi scheme from where I'm standing.

I'm interested in foreign women because it offers me opportunity to find something that could be something more, something different.

[josephadams]

Hi there, my friend is suffering from depression and he used to live alone in a closed room. I don't like to see him like this. While searching online I came across to martine-voyance who is an expert in curing depression. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Kostanta]

maybe woman is not from here

[MrMan]

I've met some women in a mountain village in Indonesia. But moutains there aren't the Rockies. It gets cold there at night, or it used to 17 or so years ago when I first went there. It wasn't last time, and I heard it stopped being so cold. Cold means like 49. Take an Indonesian and put her in a Rocky Mountain winter, and I don't know how she'd cope. The mountain women might fair better. But unless she's from Papua, there is no comparing mountain weather to a North American continential weather winter. Take an Indonesian somewhere like that and her skin will itch and she won't understand why. You'll have to explain she needs lotion. I'd imagine Filippinos are the same. But I think they eventually adapt.

Weather-wise, a Mongolian living in one of those furry tents herding cattle with her family might make a better match if she could learn to settle down and plant vegetables. A ranch might be a better job. There is the religion thing. I know there are some Lutherans in the Sumatera mountains in Indonesia. But I think the Christians in Mongolia tend to be city dwellers, but I heard there were some nomads. A nomadic Buddhist would have a very different world view. The women from the 'stan' countries of Central Asia may be beautiful and may take the cold well, but a Muslim may not be a good match for religion for most rural American men.