Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Introduce yourself here and let us know who you are.
Welcome. If you are new here, please read the Forum Rules.
W: Hi Kristy, well I do have a lot more questions about baby care, but don't have them all memorized and didn't write them down yet. Anyway here's a few:
1. My baby cries and looks upset when I hold him now, even if I hold him with the right technique. Why is that? Do some babies not like their father? Is it cause he's jealous and vying for attention from Dianne? Or maybe he only likes women?
Do you hold him as much as Dianne or anyone else does? Sometimes baby boys may possibly "prefer" women more, but it could be that Dianne spends more time with the baby, so he might not know you as well. Babies need lots of familiarity and routine, and sometimes small changes like having a family member hold them that they are not used to could upset them. He will get used to you. He just needs more time with his dad maybe. If that does not work, come back again to ask me, and I will try to help you figure it out. Also, babies have different temperments as well. So it could be a combination of both maybe.
2. When Dianne mixes the infant formula milk, she does it in the bottle by shaking it. The books I read, including the one by Dr. Spock, say that you should mix it in a bowl first before pouring it in. Does it matter?
It doesn't matter, as long as you make sure that there are no clumps of powder, and that the water and bottle are sterile. I did the same thing-mixed the water and formula by shaking it, then sometimes stirring it to make sure that there were no clumps. You can stick a long handled spoon or butter knife (that is clean) and stir it to remove any clumps. My kid did fine by this method. But maybe you can check with the baby's pediatrician just to be sure.
3. Dianne's family is superstitious and traditional and say that the baby has to be one year old before it can get a haircut. Our doctor said that is mere tradition and there is no scientific reason why it has to be so. His hair it way too long and almost longer than his face now. How can we know if the long hair is annoying the baby or making him uncomfortable? He can't tell us, so how can we know?
This family doesn't think for itself. It only knows how to follow tradition. That's why I don't have much stimulating conversation with them.
How would you handle this?
My daughter's family is Indian, and super superstitious. I had to shave her head when she was 2 months old to "ward off evil spirits". I went along with some of it to make myself look good to the family. Just do it in moderation, but when you and Dianne are alone, then do what you normally would-unless Dianne is very superstitous like them. That is only in terms of some traditions. However, I do suggest that you trim the baby's hair at least a little bit so the poor little guy doesn't have to have the hair poking in his eyes. If he has somewhat long hair, then just try to keep it out of his eyes. It's up to you to follow that tradition, or not. Maybe you can put some of your "own traditions" (wink wink) and say that cutting hair is a tradition that you do to ward off evil spirits or whatever reason. He is half of you too-so he has to follow some of your traditions as well. Maybe cutting hair is not a real tradition from your culture, but if you make it look like it is, they have to give in and give you some respect.
4. They also think that it's unsafe for the baby to go out at night. I asked a doctor and she said it made no difference as long as the baby doesn't have a fever. I'm not sure whether they think it's bad for the baby's health to go out at night, or that spirits are more likely to harm him at night? But they follow this religiously.
Just don't take the baby out at night when they are around. But you are a father, so it is up to you. But also keep in mind the baby's bed time as well.
Should I continue insisting to them that they stop living in fear and stop affecting the baby with superstitious beliefs?
Try to respect some of their beliefs, but also have them understand that they have to respect some of yours too. Try to compromise if you can. I hope it works.
Corsets do look sexy-but not on cowboys.
very cool name. [/quote]
PS to Winston:
Any time you or Dianne have a question, email me. I don't care if it turns into a 300 page novel of questions. That's fine. I'll answer them all. I will scour every book that I can find (in my free time), I will ask my own pediatrician, I will ask other mothers, my grandmother, my own mother, or go on knowledge I already have. I will always try to make sure that the answers are based on common sense and sound scientific evidence, or if it is culturally related, I will always tell you to try to compromise to a degree (I do not know much about Philppino culture though, just very little). I hope I am helpful. Feel free to keep asking all the questions you want.
Iran scary? Tibetan budism? sounds like we just scored ourselves a couple of spooks
Wow! A woman in the forums? This is new and truely an honor. Welcome to the forums Kristy. I thought after seeing this I'd just drop in and say hello.
You idiot. You're responding to A FIVE YEAR OLD POST. Duh!
...Man. Shut the f*** up.
1. I didn't pay close attention to the dates until after I made my post.
2. The post title had a red dot. ...Duh! =P
Don't be an a**hat next time. -_-