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4 posts • Page 1 of 1
For me, this would be a novel, but here is the readers digest version:
I grew up with a mother who was not a Misandrist/Feminist. She was a strong woman of integrity, who was also wise, loving, compassionate, caring, honest, appreciative, respectful, loyal, sincere, generous, and had a positive attitude.
As a young man I was very naive about women, buying into the myths such as: women are the "fairer" sex, and believing that most women were outstanding people such as my mother. I dated a few attractive looking American women before I met my first serious girlfriend. The first serious girl friend that I had was older, more experienced at everything in life, and a real beauty. I was quite enamored by her first class acting job and hot sex during the early stages of our relationship. However, I was about to be blind sided by a train, as nothing in life had ever prepared me to swim with a shark like her. I soon began to gradually learn during the next two years of her true lack of character through several painful lessons. She was actually a woman who "trolled for nice guys". What I mean by that was that she sought out nice guys to spitefully use and throw away. For two years, I was used for my money, my car (she didn't own one), my time (to work for her), my support (for the never ending drama in her life, most of which was grossly over exaggerated or out right lies), and my freedom. I suffered verbal and emotional abuse from her every day for almost two years. She performed academy award winning acting jobs portraying herself as the victim of former abusive men (most of which I later learned were lies). When I confronted her with the question of "why she punished me for the sins of other men (again, which I later learned were mostly lies)", she simply denied abusing me. As I once told her "I know what you've done, I was there when you did it to me". For two years I was stuck in her web of deceit and manipulation, while gradually learning that I was not the first nice guy that she had sought out and used. In fact there were a long list of men that she used. I eventually figured out that was the reason that she was always paranoid, not fear of abuse as she claimed. You see, she moved once per year (after not paying several months of rent each time), had an unlisted phone number, locked her door immediately as she came inside, etcetera. Besides lying, manipulation was another of the weapons of male destruction that she used to keep me entangled in her web of abuse. She would often tell me about how several other men were showing interest in her. Eventually, I learned that this was always a way of her manipulating me into "volunteering" to buy her things, do work for her, listen to her problems, etcetera. She then always without exception used the excuse that since I had "volunteered" without her asking, that she did not need to reciprocate in any way, and in fact did refuse to reciprocate in any way. She also kept me entangled by being controlling over every aspect of our "relationship". She demanded to determine how every second of our time would be spent together. She demanded to pick all events, movies, restaurants, outings, etcetera. Also she would call and cancel dates at the last minute on a regular basis, simply saying "I don't feel like going out, don't come over". Sometimes, I would actually get to her place, and she would cancel, and send me back home. Of course after I was initially entangled, she pulled the classic maneuver of drastically reducing the amount of sex so she could keep the pressure on me to strive to please her in an attempt to win back the sex. Once, she manipulated me into planning and paying for vacation that she knew I didn't want to take. Reluctantly, I agreed to take her, and pay for everything. However, this time, I couldn't get past feeling used. I called her, and canceled. She broke up with me on the call. The next morning, I called her, and told her I would take her on the vacation. She agreed to go. On the vacation, we got into a fight, and I told her off. For the next two days, I was deluged with hot sex. Keep in mind that this was after I had stood up to her twice in two days for the first time ever. Some people would say that the hot sex was because I had stood up to her and been more of a man. I believe that it was more likely that she played the sex card to keep me entangled as I was becoming close to breaking free and she wanted to continue to bleed me. She once told me that "if you loved me, you would buy me a car". I confronted her about this statement, and she reluctantly admitted that it was an unfair thing to say (which was a gross understatement). A couple of months later, I decided that I wanted to get a newer car. I had an older car that was in good running condition, that I considered giving to her. By now, I was starting to catch "onto" her deception, so I put her to a test. I told her that I wanted to take here away for the weekend, but wouldn't tell her where. I told myself that if either she declined to go with me or canceled the trip at the last minute that she would not get my older car when I got the newer one. Amazingly, she accepted my offer to go away with me for the "secret" weekend. This was the first time that she ever agreed to do anything that I wanted to do, let alone agree to something that was a "secret". I called her as I was leaving work to take her away on for the "secret" weekend, and not logically but predictably, she said "I don't feel like going, don't come over". I said "okay", and I vowed to myself never to try to help her get a car. Another time, I made her a card from a professional quality photo that I had taken with a several thousand dollar camera outfit. I gave her the card, and asked her about it a few days later. She said "oh yeah, I lost it somewhere" and essentially said something like "too bad". I vowed to myself that after a couple of years of abuse to never do anything nice for her again. I also, eventually called her out regarding all of the abuse and constantly using me while never reciprocating. At that point, she basically cut off all contact with me without saying anything about why she was doing so. She had borrowed money from me several times totaling about $1500 (cheap compared to a lot of guys), explicitly promising to pay it back. Then she made one of her annual moves without giving me her new address or unlisted phone number, even though she still owed me money. I did some detective work, tracked down her new unlisted phone number, called her twice (she hung up on me the first time) and asked her to pay back the $1500 that she explicitly had promised to pay back. The key point is that I called her (didn't even go to her place because I didn't even know where it was) and did so only twice. She tried unsuccessfully to try to accuse me of stocking her, and tried to get me fired from my job. Finally, after that cruel and vindictive maneuver by her, I decided that $1500 was a very cheap education for the lessons that I had learned, and moved on with my life.
I almost never talk about ex-girlfriends because I live in the present not the past. However, when I do refer to the one above for educational purposes, I refer to her as "The Evil Bitch". So after "The Evil Bitch", I read "The Hazards of Being Male" and "Single Again - A Guide for Men Starting Over". "The Hazards of Being Male" was the first MRA book that I read. "Single Again - A Guide for Men Starting Over" is written by a Christian man, and is kind of a watered down MGTOW guide for divorced men. I also accepted personal responsibility for allowing myself to be abused by "The Evil Bitch". I forgave her for the abuse, but never forgot. I bought my own house, started a fitness program, started hiking, made new friends with other single men, became involved in a contemporary church, became involved in music and several other MGTOW activities.
After a few years of MGTOW activities which had nothing to do with women, I started dating again, and dated several attractive looking American women. Having learned my lesson from "The Evil Bitch", I was now dating women that were not evil by comparison. However, they all had a huge sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations and were narcissistic. During a few years of dating American women, and having another serious girlfriend, I simply became fed up with the endless narcissism, insanity, and sense of entitlement of American women.
After my mother passed away, my father eventually remarried. Before doing so, he told me that he was going to get a prenuptial agreement. Based on my past experiences with women, I affirmed what a good idea a prenuptial agreement would be for him. Based on the promise of him getting a prenuptial agreement, I gave him my blessings. My step-mother was also an academy award winning actress before my father married her and during the first year of marriage. Eventually, my step mother became verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to my father. She had even tried to talk my family out of allowing my father to have life saving surgery... She wanted to let him die. We told her that he would have the surgery, end of discussion. My father survived the surgery and regained his strength. However, my step mother continued to be verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to my father. To make matters worse, I learned that he did not get the prenuptial agreement that he had promised me. My step mother had stolen my fathers entire life savings, hundreds of thousand of dollars through embezzlement schemes. Now, she was being verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to him to drive him to divorce as she had bled him dry. My father did divorce her, recoup in divorce court about 5% of the money that she had previously stolen from him, and he lived happily ever after. In my mind, and for educational purposes, I refer to my ex-step-mother as "The Evil Bitch Number 2".
About eight years ago, I started to visit Mexico. I immediately noticed that Mexican women didn't have the perma-scowl that most American women have. I immediately noticed that Mexican women were non-hostile toward men... PRICELESS!! I immediately decided that I would never put up with American women's bullshit ever again. I stopped dating American women and started dating foreign women (in their countries) exclusively... and I've been loving it ever since. To summarize, I've had most, if not all, of the same observations as Winston Wu.
About seven years ago, I met and immediately be came great friends with the first true MRA man that I had ever known (besides myself) up to that point. Just knowing one other man who had the same experiences as me, and who has also busted out of the fem-matrix totally galvanized my resolve to Go My Own Way. In the past seven years, I've also read the following books about dating: "How to be the Jerk Women Love", and "How to date Young Women For Men Over 35". Both books have some good insight into how not to "OVERPAY" for American women. Neither book will get you tons of women because there are a million men lined up to OVERPAY for women, and millions of guys have already tried these dating "secrets". Also, In the past seven years, I've also read the following books about assertiveness: "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty", "The Assertiveness Workbook", and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (by Robert A. Glover). All of these books offer excellent advice about how to avoid being manipulated, and taken advantage of, and disrespected. I recommend all five of the above books for any man that hasn't completely figured out women. Also "Games People Play" has some good information about the games that American women play. Some of the games in the book were primarily played by men at the time of writing, but are now primarily played be women. As much as I've tried to stop being a nice guy, I still am a nice guy... most of the time. However, I now have clear boundaries, demand respect, and refuse to be bullshitted. I can be a jerk and even be an asshole when the situation requires it. Dating foreign women in their countries exclusively allows me to be nice most of the time, but I get un-nice at the first hint of trouble.
I work as an independent consultant. Doing so allows me several advantages over being a whore-porate wage slave, such as: making more money, taking more time off to travel, and having to take less shit from man-ginas and whore-porate weasels.
About three years ago I discovered MRA/MGTOW on the Internet. I have contemplated various different forms of resistance to the current system of female supremacy in America. I realized that actions based on impatience will destroy your own life. Therefore, I believe that educating other men is the most effective area of activism right now (until there are enough MRAs that we can not have our lives destroyed when we go above ground). Over the past 30 years, men have realized that they can get the milk with having to over-pay for the cow. Hence, 51% of adults in America are unmarried these days. More men are starting to bust out the fem-matrix every day. If we can educate enough men to take this resistance above ground before America crumbles, that would be ideal. If America crumbles first, we will still need strong men leaders to pick up the pieces and rebuild without making the same mistakes of the past. Also, I believe that helping just one young man bust out of the fem-matrix is worth much effort. The feminists have been at war with men for nearly fifty years. Some on the MGTOW boards, believe that the MGTOW "armies of one" are in the millions, and now starting to win some battles against feminism. I believe that most men have not even yet realized that war has been declared on them. I fully understand the reality that we who are unplugged from the Fem-Matrix are "the few". That's why I often refer to MGTOW as an "underground revolution".
I plan to expat in the next couple years, and continue my MRA/MGTOW work remotely to educate men. I don't have a lot of time right now, as I'm working on investments that will be passive enough and generate enough revenue streams to allow me to expat. I'm also currently looking into the feasibility of several different MRA/MGTOW education projects including a Virtual MRA World, an MRA E-book, and a number of MRA educational web sites. I will also be investigating the feasibility of owning servers in foreign countries such that I can host MRA sites that can not be shut down by the feminists. If the resistance grows strong enough in my lifetime, I will return to America and join the above-ground revolution or provide support from abroad in the fight against female supremacy. Either way, I will be opposing Misandry/Feminism for the rest of my life.
Welcome aboard, FWO!
I've become fed up with American women as well, and I won't waste anymore effort on them. My focus is on moving overseas to someplace in the EU. Also, the US is rapidly degenerating into a third-world country. I'd rather live someplace civilized where experiencing other cultures isn't considered "unpatriotic."
Great post and welcome aboard! Sounds like you had to put up with a lot of crap from American women but now you see the light! Foreign women are the way to go! More and more men in America are realizing that. I myself want to travel and meet foreign women and see what the culture is like in other countries.
Although American having grown up in America I realized from the very beginning that American women weren't to be trusted, at least not ina relationship sense. I had never had an American girlfriend because I knew from the very start that they were sub-standard! This attitude certainly made undergraduate and graduate school much easier to complete without distraction.
I was lucky enough to get to Asia when I was only 22. Although I had had a few dates with American women I never had more than one with any girl and I think this is because I have zero tolerance for BS. The number of dates I had had could be counted on one hand. My dating patterns changed dramatically once I was in Asia. Asian women have a way about them that is inherently attractive to men that makes American women jealous. I have spent most of the last 27 years in Asia. I now live in Southeast Asia and will never leave. I am living with my girlfriend who is the greatest. We have no problems at all.