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Fan of Winston: Moving to Russia

Posted: September 22nd, 2008, 4:31 am
by ate_the_paint
Winston's blogs and photojournals are epic! I have a new internet hobby now: reading Winston's stories.

I'm moving to St Petersburg in the new year and as I was researching I came across Happier Abroad, and I couldn't agree more with the overall message.

I'm a 32-year old Canadian guy and I am actually fairly attractive (so much for modesty) and educated and so on. I spent 2 years teaching English in South Korea and I was engaged to my gf of 6 years, until she cheated on me last year. Well, I'm back in Canada and I think my experiences in Korea messed me up, because I find women here so damn unapproachable. There's a lot of beauties here and in the U.S., but what is up their asses?

I'm a "nice guy". I don't let people walk all over me but I'm not about to go out and hurt others, either. I've been back in Canada for a couple of years now and I am sick and tired of North American women. I remember how warm and friendly and flirty Korean girls were, and how fiercely loyal those people were to their friends, and I miss that.

So, I'm giving up my well-paying job here and going back overseas and I don't know if I'm ever coming back. If I can find someone to marry and raise a family with, all the better. At the very least I'll be somewhere where people aren't such a-holes. If Russia doesn't work out then I'll move on somewhere else.

Winston is absolutely right from my experiences. I had to go somewhere and then come back to see the light, but I definitely see it.

Anyways, I'm brand new to this forum and just wanted to say "hi".

Cheers!

Posted: September 22nd, 2008, 11:49 am
by jamesbond
Hello and welcome to our discussion forum! You will find lively and stimulating conversation here (my avatar should be stimulating enough!) I have heard lot's of men going into "culture shock" upon arriving back in North America from being abroad. It is quite a shock from being around friendly, approachable women, to then being around unfriendly, anti-social women! How depressing indeed! St. Petersburg sounds like a good choice, I have heard many good things about Russia and Russian women. Please keep us informed of how things are going once you do move.

GO FOR IT! Life is Too Short to Live it in a RUT

Posted: September 23rd, 2008, 8:01 am
by AsiaBill
I enjoyed reading your post! GO FOR IT!! I left the States when I was 22 years old back in 76 and have never spent a consecutive 12 month period there since then. Life's been an ADVENTURE and each day I wake up is another day to be created, been semi-retired since I was 30 years old. My wife and I were LUCKY being in "the right in place at the right time" in Korea and saved enough in 84 to invest and open up small business here in the Philippines. GOOD LUCK in ST Petersburg! Bill

Posted: September 23rd, 2008, 5:29 pm
by jtest28
I hear that!

I went o Ukraine last January and I didn't even make it back to the states when I hit culture shock. I made it all the way to the last flight from Germany to Dallas, TX and all of a sudden, I noticed everyone on the plane was f***ed up. Especially the women. Then I landed and had to get off the plane and mingle with the other Americans. :x People ask me what the hardest part of my trip was, believe it or not, it was having to arrive back in the US! Seriously. When I was in Ukraine, I was treated very nicely by even the customs agents. The men generally treated me well there. I'm a big, muscle-guy and those guys seemed to have an appreciation for that. Not a fear at all, just, they seemed to actually like me for it. American men mostly seem intimidated and therefore make snive remarks to me and throw me stares of daggers all the time. I think its because in the US, men fight over women and they see me as competition. Ukrainian men just didn't seem to think this way at all. And the Ukrainian women, unbelievable! There were a small portion of women, that for some reason, seemed to like trying to act Americanized, but most of them were truly foreign women. I would see so many of them without dates, especially ones in their 40s, yet they were still very attractive. I saw 5' tall men with 6' tall blonds who looked exactly like super-models. I would walk by a dark alley and see some little drunk guy rejecting the sexual advances of a woman who looked like a centerfold. I thought I was in the twilight zone. In the USA, such men would almost certainly be alone and may even still be virgins.

Posted: September 26th, 2008, 9:03 am
by MoscowSummerNights
I live in St. Petersburg. Consider getting in touch with me.

I am at veteran@veteransabroad.com

What are your business skills?

Sounds familiar

Posted: September 28th, 2008, 11:46 pm
by WorldTraveler
Where in the Ukraine were you? How long were you there for? Did you have a girlfriend?

I lived there for some of 2006-7. It good then, but I thought things were getting worse (especially Kiev) and had been much better in 2004. I have heard that there is tremendous inflation there now so as they get poorer they usually get nicer. Too much money in any country brings independence and the girls then don't need you.

What you are seeing there is an environment where girls are still expected to date guys like it was in the US in the 80s or so. 2000s in America girls don't need guys. The fact that guys were more friendly is because there are a lot of girls to go around that want to date and we don't have this in the USA. Just one bit of warning Ukrainian/Russian girls are some of the biggest users in the world. There motto is "you have to lie to survive". Be careful and enjoy yourself!
jtest28 wrote:I hear that!

I went o Ukraine last January and I didn't even make it back to the states when I hit culture shock. I made it all the way to the last flight from Germany to Dallas, TX and all of a sudden, I noticed everyone on the plane was f***ed up. Especially the women. Then I landed and had to get off the plane and mingle with the other Americans. :x People ask me what the hardest part of my trip was, believe it or not, it was having to arrive back in the US! Seriously. When I was in Ukraine, I was treated very nicely by even the customs agents. The men generally treated me well there. I'm a big, muscle-guy and those guys seemed to have an appreciation for that. Not a fear at all, just, they seemed to actually like me for it. American men mostly seem intimidated and therefore make snive remarks to me and throw me stares of daggers all the time. I think its because in the US, men fight over women and they see me as competition. Ukrainian men just didn't seem to think this way at all. And the Ukrainian women, unbelievable! There were a small portion of women, that for some reason, seemed to like trying to act Americanized, but most of them were truly foreign women. I would see so many of them without dates, especially ones in their 40s, yet they were still very attractive. I saw 5' tall men with 6' tall blonds who looked exactly like super-models. I would walk by a dark alley and see some little drunk guy rejecting the sexual advances of a woman who looked like a centerfold. I thought I was in the twilight zone. In the USA, such men would almost certainly be alone and may even still be virgins.

Posted: September 29th, 2008, 2:46 am
by Grunt
Now this is truly interesting. I am the exact opposite of jtest (short fat and bald) and I also get hate from most of the guys in America. Granted, it could be the fact that my wife is Ukrainian and super hot, but I am nothing even remotely considered "competition".


My opinion is that males in America have become so hyper-feminized that they have begun to take on the traits of American females. See, children learn early on who wears the pants in the family...and it aint the father. Thus, kids start emulating the ruler of the home as soon as they are able. Catty, backstabbing, gossip, phony, the whole 9 yards. I noticed the trend beginning since bush came to office, on or about, but I think it really got seeded during the clinton years.

Food for thought.

Posted: October 1st, 2008, 8:50 am
by chanta76
ate_the_paint,


Hey I'm kind of curious. Was your ex-girl friend of 6 years a Korean girl or Canadian?

Just curious? Why russia? WHy not go back to Korea?

Posted: October 1st, 2008, 6:04 pm
by Mr S
I would surmise because Korea generally sucks and 80% of the woman are butt ugly. The only reason to live there is for the big, easy money they offer to foreigners to teach English there or if you have some other skill they need. They generally pay western wages, have low taxes and pay for your lodging. One can save a lot of money living there if you watch your spending and keep your nightlife spending to maybe once a week or once every other week.

Plus in my opinion, Koreans are the weirdest ethnic group of the Asian nationalities. They are difficult people to deal with on a daily basis. I'd rather be around clueless, ignorant, child-minded Filippinos anyday over Koreans.

Although most adult Koreans I have met are nice, they just are difficult to work with if you have to see and deal with them everyday. I've also met many who are certifiable crazy! Many can hide behind a mask and appear normal but once you get into a close friendship or relationship watch out! You can probably do a Google search and read many stories about insane Korean BF/GF's. And don't get me talking about their kids. Korean kids are like little devils and extremely difficult to deal with on a daily basis. You have to really need the money to teach Korean kids on a daily basis.

Posted: October 2nd, 2008, 8:17 am
by chanta76
Mr.S

Did you work in Korea? KOrean girls being butt ugly? You sure about that?
I been to Korea and Thailand. I'm not sure if it the plastic surgery crazy or not but I would say korean girls are quite pretty. Prettier than Thai girls. Never been to the Philippines so I wouldn't know about how the girls are over there.

Anyway, Korea is complicated culture to westerns but I like to know what ate_the_paint thinks of it.

Posted: October 2nd, 2008, 9:59 am
by Mr S
Yeah I worked over there for 6 months or so and high-tailed it out of there as I had a pretty shitty experience. Generally people either really like it there or really hate it, there is little grey matter in between.

Most guys that like Korean girls generally prefer the NE Asian look and guys that don't like Koreans prefer the the SE Asian look. So if you think Korean girls are pretty and Thai girls not, then you must be of the latter.

Nothing wrong with that but I have rarely met a guy who thinks Koreans are good looking who are currenty living in Thailand, Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, etc. They are living there cause they prefer the look of those woman over Chinese, Korean or Japanese.

In my opinion there is a small minority of really hot Korean girls and generally they are not the ones looking for foreign guys to date. All the guys I know who have dated or married Korean girls tell me a lot of horror stories.

When I was in Korea I never dated one as I have longer type hair and they seem to be fixated on males loking more conservative such as having shorter hair and dressing more preppy or whatever happens to be in style. SE asians seems to like guys a bit more rugged and mysterious looking rather then the boring, prep look.

I would only go back to Korea if I was desperate for money and I had an awsome contract. I think I would prefer working in Saudi Arabia over Korea and that shows how much I like Korea.

Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 3:08 am
by chanta76
Mr S,

Interesting. Are you working in South East Asia right now as a ESL teacher?

Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 9:39 am
by Mr S
I'm currently living and working in the Philippines as an educational consultant and curriculum developer.

What I have noticed with NE vs. SE Asian woman is that NE woman like the more metrosexual look, they don't like really masculine type guys. They want their guys to be clean cut, dress in fashionable clothes, no facial hair, etc. If you have more of a back packer look, rocker, hippie, longer hair, facial hair, etc you aren't getting a GF, let alone laid unless you are willing to pay for it.

I think since most SE Asian countries are poorer they are more used to people they see not dressing so nice and having lots of nice things. Thus, foreigners that don't care as much about how they look or dress in regards to whats in fashion have a better time and guys that are too preppy looking sometimes don't fare as well because the girls may be more intimidated to initially associate with them.

like for example if I dress up and go out in the Philippines, girls will not approach me the nicer I look. But when I just bum around in jeans and a t-shirt I have all kinds of girls hitting on me, sometimes I have to beat them off with a stick!

But if I dress nice in Korea or Japan then people who speak English are willing to talk to me. (but not much cause i still had long hair) When I just wore my bumming around clothes, no one hardly talks to me unless i initiate a conversation.

So in NE Asia ones "look" is very important or the "perception" one emits to others. In SE Asia it's more about the "attitude" you convey and "personality". I guess being unique is valued in SE Asia whereas being the same is important in NE Asia. Every Korean guy and girl I see all have the same hair cuts for example, like all the guys right now have the "Bruce Lee" hair cut going.

Koreans do not appreciate their own thinking or being outside of the "box" this is one of the major problems when dealing with them as they have a very insular viewpoint of their own culture. Once a Korean for example starts dating a foreigner they pretty much are tainted and considered not good for a "traditional" Korean. This is why there is only a small pool of datable Korean woman to choose from for foreigners. Also a big problem is these same girls are dating the same small pool of available foreigners. So for example if you meet a girl in a foreigner bar it is most likely she had been dating a previous foreigner that either left the country or even may still be around as they broke up! The foreigner/Korean dating scene is very small and there are run-ins at the bars from ex's. It gets pretty crazy as Koreans once they start drinking have no control of their emotions and often turn violent.

I can write pages of stories of crazy nights at some of the foreigner bars I went to while in Korea. Personally All Asians seem to hold their emotions in to a certain point then blow up when they start drinking too much. I've noticed this happen in Thailand a lot too. It seems to be more prevalent in Buddhist oriented cultures. Korea is still 50% Buddhist, although in the future it will be less because of the Christians there now.

Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 7:39 pm
by momopi
Korean men have alpha male & pack mentality. Their booking clubs, hostess bars, KTV's, etc. are a rip and cost more than Japanese ones.

Entertaining a few Japanese clients at a Japanese hostess bar in Torrance won't cost more than few hundred per head, but doing the same in K-Town in LA will easily cost 2-3 times or higher. I've heard the ones in S. Korea cost even more.

Posted: November 7th, 2012, 3:01 am
by terminator
You can go to Russia as a tourist, but you'll find getting a long tern visa or permission to work is Kafka-esque and basically impossible. The Govt workers will almost NEVER do their job because they hate their boss, life, career, family and can scapegoat you for all this.