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New girl from UK

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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 5:37 am

FuzzX wrote:only uses free-range eggs/organic milk, though.
here we go fellas. :lol:

I've never seen a western woman that didn't have an ulterior motive when joining a PUA/Men's forum. She's clearly not stupid guys, she's read the stuff and is here to stir up trouble. I'm sorry but honestly what could a woman possibly find interesting from a forum about rejecting first world women, meeting foreign girls and rebelling against the feminist state. Bella... I don't know what your game is but here's the question on everyone's mind.. why are you here?

even my ex girlfriend who reads this forum and all my posts incessantly and IS MEXICAN gets offended by some of the stuff here. It's no different from me logging on to an all girl feminist empowerment forum. What reason would I have to go there except to cause trouble. I've seen it on a dozen PUA forums... it causes infighting and frequently the girls gets banned for promoting feminist crap. I'd like to know your opinion on the current state of emasculation in the 1st world countries ESPECIALLY Britain where I'm told frequently its the worst.


Fuzz, this is not a PUA men's forum. It's about seeking happiness abroad in social/dating areas and personal fulfillment. Nowhere does it say men only. It may have evolved into a men's forum because the topics tend to interest men more. But there are no rules against females here. Besides, if we talk and complain about females and how to meet them, then we must all like females, so why not welcome them to the discussion?

Fuzz, you are jumping to conclusions. You should judge a person by their ACTIONS, not their identity. If you read BellaRuth's words, it's obvious that she is level headed, open, reasonable and polite, and shows no signs of being here to cause trouble. The evidence does not warrant that. And the fact that she's here means she's open minded and that is VERY refreshing to see. You should be glad to see her, not jump to negative conclusions.

Please be civil and apologize to her for misjudging her. Think it over.

Btw, don't forget that some Western women also feel alienated in their own culture and prefer hanging out with foreigners. It's not just Western males who feel that way. Some American girls do not like American culture either.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 7:29 am

FuzzX wrote:Think about it for a second... because I see this on quite a few PUA forums and it's always the same thing. It has happened on sosuave.com at least 5 times. Look up Iqqi, Wyldfyre, Penkitten. A lair that I belonged to in Toronto a few years ago decided to let in a few seemingly innocent Female PUA's and then not long after in-fighting started was suddenly boycotted by women's groups and shut down. The business that it was held in was pressured by women's groups to close or else... I think it was in the paper. Anyway it usually goes something like this:

A user will join a forum for males.
Make it known that they are female
Act innocent...
Start dolling out advice and opinions
Someone will ask them why they are on a site for men
The user will get offended.
AFCs will suplicate.. and white knight around her.
The woman will control a large portion of AFCs on the board
Flame Wars start.
MODs must intervene.

There are plenty of expat forums around, she is not stupid. This one is hard to find and doesn't come up on google by accident.

Usually a user will read the subject headings in a forum before posting... any normal person could deduct from the pictures on the main page of Winston with bar girls WHAT this forum is about. EXPATing for SEX & MARRIAGE.

If she simply wanted information regarding expating she wouldn't have introduced herself as a GIRL FROM THE UK. There would be no reason to because you assume we are all men from the subject matter being discussed. Wouldn't it have been more useful for a girl to remain gender anonymous if she REALLY wanted to access EXPAT information on this site? It's no different than the feminist deceleration "I am a strong, independent, woman!" or the Attention whore yelling "LOOK AT ME!". She wanted it known that she was a girl. I am not against women coming to the forum... I am against women coming to a PUA related forum with the intent to troll..

I've been promoting happierabroad/sosuave/PUA forums/happybachelors in a lot of places around the web mixed with liberating messages meant for nice guys. No doubt women armed to the teeth with hate are going to be attracted.

If she was as innocent as she says then the first words out of her mouth when she looked at the main page would have been: What.The f**k.is.THIS??? Why would men need to do this??? What the hell is going on here?

That in my experience has been the natural response from western women (Brits are westernized, ask any Brit in asia).

What kind of advice about travel is she expecting to get from a foreign women/anti-feminism site that she couldn't get anywhere else? This is not my forum and I DON'T SPEAK FOR THE MAJORITY but I feel it is necessary to point this out before trouble starts.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bella my most sincere travel advice for you would be to stay away from the 3rd world countries unless you are drop dead gorgeous. Women will pounce on your man as soon as you are out of earshot and your inherent qualities will drive him into their arms. You will be able to exert the most control over men in the first world countries where 90% of the male population is living a totally emasculated, henpecked and controlled lifestyle. You can get a man to marry you no matter how horrible you act and have the best advantages in marriage and law. If you are a university educated, career driven woman then you will find very little respect among men here (myself included). There is a very good reason many of us remain celibate while staying in the 1st world and you are part of it. I'm sure the American slaves would have reacted no different had their masters found the underground railroad.

The information contained on websites like this should be handled like nuclear waste by any intelligent woman. It has the capability of doing tremendous damage to any western marriage/relationship... if I were you, I would be praying to god my significant other doesn't dig it up.


You may be right in general. But remember, there are exceptions to every rule. She may be an exception. You can't judge a person that quickly. You gotta let them speak for themselves and go by that. That's what a reasonable person does.

It could be that she came upon this forum while doing a search for something online, or followed some links on other sites I've put the link to Happier Abroad in, and she only saw this forum and not the home page, and thought it was just about moving overseas.

You have to consider the possibilities.

What lair did you belong to that was shut down by women? Women's groups do not have the power to shut down a site or forum. There is nothing to fear from that.

So what do you have to fear? Even if female trolls come here, they can't do anything except start some flame wars.

I think you're overreacting.

It's rare to have a truly open minded female like this. And it's a big pity that you might have repelled her off by misjudging her. What a shame.

She did write a long critique of US culture and told it like it was honestly. There was no attitude or arrogance in her words. That should tell you something.
Last edited by Winston on Mon Jan 24, 2011 7:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 8:00 am

BellaRuth wrote:
I've never been to America, but I'll do the best I can with what I do know. Everyone else I know has been to America, and two of my aunts moved there twenty years back. I'm afraid it's not going to be too complimentary, but I'm just being as honest as poss.

First off I'd say British and Americans are miles apart, really. Any Brit will surely tell you they are nothing like Americans. Here, Americans are viewed as a bit loud, obnoxious, arrogant and over-the-top (they like everything to be BIG and SHINY with a brass band!). I don't want to give the impression we don't like Americans as that's not the case, but I'd say in general we are glad to not live there, particularly due to healthcare costs, and the way the country is run like a big corporation. I'd say the average British person would believe himself to be more educated, better-mannered and, I suppose, 'classy' than his stereotypical view of Americans (wouldn't say this is true however!). We also see Americans as overweight, which is a bit hypocritical as we are struggling with an obesity problem ourselves here.

My partner (from Colombia) has been to America a lot of times and I asked him to compare it to here. He says Americans in the Southern states are most like the British, as they are 'more courteous and friendly'. He says America is such a huge, diverse place it's hard to generalise, for instance that South Florida is a different planet to North Florida, that putting America together is like describing European people as a whole. But he says he found Americans much louder, more pushy, ruder and a bit difficult to deal with. He can't imagine himself living there and having an American girlfriend- unless he lived in Miami and integrated with the Latino community there.

About my aunts. They recently visited from America and have changed beyond belief. They have certainly gained weight and seem to 'look American' (the hair? the clothes? no idea) but the most drastic change has been in personality. My dad, their brother, says he can barely recognise them. They can't talk without shouting, they seem uninterested in people beyond having an audience, and they... struggling to find the word. They seem more... inconsiderate? Brutal? This isn't their basic personality, and both have picked up the same kind of thing. I can't help but wonder if it was the change in culture.

I've heard American girls walk around with their pyjama trousers on outside, which sounds crazy. The closest thing you'd find here is university students walking around with carefully tousled messy hair, Uggs and nothing on but an oversized uni hoodie, to make themselves look like their life is too cool to have the time to get dressed properly. I heard of a supermarket in Wales haing to ban pyjama trousers from being worn after a lower-class slobby mum decided to go in wearing her nightclothes at 8am, but I can't see it catching on here. I won't give the impression we are all carefully-dressed, there are lots of people who walk around scruffy as if they couldn't care less, especially in low socio-economic areas where no one sees the point in looking good, but pyjama trousers are quite another story. I think our biggest problem with fashion is we are addicted to jeans. But in the summer, for instance, I never wear trousers or jeans, it feels like a waste. A bit of sun in the UK and you'd see most of the girls in dresses and heels and the men in shorts and flip-flops. Once I wore a simple, normal dress with average shoes and an American girl asked me why I was dressed up and if it was Valentine's Day, trying to make me feel silly, which obviously shows a cultural difference there. Do you not wear dresses in the US?

I also keep hearing, again not sure if it is true, that American women count money as an important factor when finding a man. Not a single girl I have known, my whole life, would seriously think this would be important. Recently on the Jonathan Ross show there was a black American comedian on there who mentioned this. He said unless you have money American women are not interested in you. He found that the British put importance on your personality and didn't care about your earning power. Personally, I don't see a man's earning potential as important, I'd feel like a whore if I did!

I can't comment on how educated Americans are as a comparison, but I have quite in-depth conversations with my friends. I like talking about politics in particular, I suppose. Some Brits would only talk about reality TV and the nearest kebab shop.

In Britain I think there is a LOT of difference in the social classes. These have nothing to do with money. You can only be upper-class if you are related to aristocracy, for instance, even if you are dirt poor. A working-class man who wins the Euromillions will still be working-class. I think this is different to America. Here, social class is about background, education, tastes, etc. If you see, and attempt to talk to, a lower-class girl here, you'd be on a COMPLETELY different planet than a middle-class one. Everyone in Britain, unless they are lower-class, are reasonably educated, I'd say. I often hear people talking about in-depth subjects and serious documentaries and quiz shows are popular here.

As an aside: I recently saw a clip on Youtube about an American show called Doctors. There was music, flashing lights and these very young, model-looking doctors with impossibly white teeth and fake tans came bounding down the stairs waving at the screaming studio audience. It turned out this was meant to be a show that gives medical advice. In Britain this is too crass. If we had a medical advice show it would be pretty serious and probably in the form of a documentary where an imperfect-looking real doctor, almost certainly over 30 for extra credibility, talks to average people. In America everything is so polished, so glamorous and shiny, it's like nails down a blackboard.

The truth is, we don't get many females here anymore cause a lot of the content on this site repels them or offends them. Most females get mad when you say things that aren't politically correct. Plus we talk a lot about foreign women here, and females in general aren't interested in that. Plus, many females I've noticed get angry and defensive if you say that people in a certain country are cold and unfriendly. Even if it's true, they don't like hearing that, it seems to touch a nerve.


Actually I think i just rushed in without reading the content properly. I thought it was just a forum for people wanting to emigrate, now I realise there is a focus on the women in different countries. I can't comment on American women, but I could say what I know of women from a lot of European countries.

I have no idea how I found this site, honestly. I think I was looking for information of different countries and sort of wound up here.

Hmmm... I'm not sure whether to say there is pressure in Britain to be politically correct. I suppose I have to say there is, but at the same time, there is a great deal of resistance. It's not thought of as a great idea. Perhaps the worst places are schools. I recently learnt you can't say 'brainstorm' any more because it refers to epilepsy, you have to say 'mind-map'. Crazy.

However we do still sell golliwogs, so we really can't be that strict! As time goes on, I see the UK turning into more and more of a politically-correct country, but for now... it's not TOO bad, in my opinion.

Sorry for the essay!


Hi BellaRuth,
Thanks for the long essay. It was very informative. You remind me of Elizabeth, a Brit I met in Poland through another friend. She was very knowledgeable and deep in her conversations.

Some travelers, including Brits, tell me that Brits are cold and cliquish and that neighbors don't talk to each other. And that that's where Americans get their cliquishness from. They say that in London, no one makes any eye contact or talks to strangers, such as in parks or on the subway.

Do you find that to be true?

I think older American women count money as a big factor. But younger ones just want a guy who is cool, funny and good looking.

When you say walk around with pajama trousers, I think you are referring to sweat pants. American girls do like walking around in those a lot. The only American girls I've seen dress up a lot are in New York City. Not in the suburbs though.

Some people do change their personality in America. My parents never did though.

What about the Americans in Britain? Do they change their personality and act more British?

Also, can you comment about racism? I was told that there is less racism among interracial dating in your country. Are most British females open to dating other races, even Asians?

I also heard that blacks there do not have an inferiority complex like they do in America.

You said you know something about women from different European countries. Can you compare and contrast some of them? That would be very helpful here.

You said healthcare in the US is expensive. What is it like in the UK? Do you have a government sponsored universal health care plan? Do most people buy health insurance?

Thanks,
Winston
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 8:53 am

BellaRuth,
Have you seen this article? It says that 78 percent of British expats are "happier abroad". I posted my link in its comment section too.

http://blog.justlanded.com/expatriate_t ... er-abroad/

http://britishexpats.com/news/latest/happier-abroad/
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby BellaRuth » Mon May 31, 2010 9:28 am

FuzzX, I won't reply to you incase it looks like I'm arguing, which will make things worse. Seemed to be rhetorical anyway, so I guess that's ok.

Winston wrote:Hi BellaRuth,
Thanks for the long essay. It was very informative. You remind me of Elizabeth, a Brit I met in Poland through another friend. She was very knowledgeable and deep in her conversations.

Some travelers, including Brits, tell me that Brits are cold and cliquish and that neighbors don't talk to each other. And that that's where Americans get their cliquishness from. They say that in London, no one makes any eye contact or talks to strangers, such as in parks or on the subway.

Do you find that to be true?


Hm... yes, for the short reponse. I think it requires a bit more explanation, though.

In lots of places in the UK (Scotland, I found, and Wales, when I went), for instance in the place I grew up, and in Cornwall, you do get strangers giving you a little smile and a 'hello' just because you are walking past each other, and I have often talked to complete strangers just because it's been a nice day and they are in the same place as me (I've never, EVER seen this happen outside rural settings, to be honest). But the majority of the time people don't talk. If you are on a bus it's a bit of a sin to sit next to someone if there is a way out of it. I wouldn't say this is rudeness, but the opposite, personally. It's the 'personal space' law. You have to give everyone peace, you can't disturb them. You need a way out of it, like the weather opener. My mother, for instance, always has these LONG happy conversations with complete strangers on trains, and really enjoys it, she can start up a friendship with anyone, and because she understands the way to go about it, it's very natural and accepted. It's not the norm, but it's certainly possible, if you want. I never, ever talk to people on trains, partly because everyone has their own thing to do, and partly because I'm fine just looking at the view or reading, but I'm not being antisocial. I would happy talk if someone wanted a chat, and I have.

As for not talking to your neighbours, it depends where you live. I have always known my neighbours. We haven't been best friends (they've all been decades older than me anyway) but we've said hello, we walked about the weather (that again!) and I knew their names and who was in their family. I recognised the people in my street, and if I wanted to develop the relationships further, I could have. My sister's best friend was made just because she was another young girl in the same street. We're not extroverted social butterflies, but it doesn't mean we are antisocial.

I think cities are worse, though. I just imagined myself moving to London and I can't see myself talking to my neighbours. I think it would be more how you described American social problems. I'm going to London this Wednesday, really excited as I love it, but would never live there. Would be really cold, I think. So... yes, to your question!

If you want to go to the UK and casually chat to strangers, I'd say go to rural places.

When you say walk around with pajama trousers, I think you are referring to sweat pants. American girls do like walking around in those a lot. The only American girls I've seen dress up a lot are in New York City. Not in the suburbs though.


Ah no, actual pyjamas. I must have it wrong. We have far too many in sweatpants (we call them 'trakkies' here, like tracksuit bottoms) so I wouldn't moan about that, but I heard actual nightwear was worn outside in the US. Never mind! We get a lot of slobbily-dressed people here. Now that's another thing- that's very new, that's a shift in culture. The reserved social nature is old, but I remember clearly everyone used to look smart, regardless of income, and I'm only 24, so that slob thing has just come about, and it's really awful.

What about the Americans in Britain? Do they change their personality and act more British?


Can't say, I don't know any Americans that live here, sorry.

Also, can you comment about racism? I was told that there is less racism among interracial dating in your country. Are most British females open to dating other races, even Asians?


I always see mixed race relationships. I am in one myself, as I mentioned, with a Colombian (the latino community is tiny here, so he's a novelty). But I see black/white asian/white a lot. I would never be put off by a man of another race showing interest- actually they do the most, I think it's because I am very pale, so foreign guys like me more than British men, who prefer darker girls (just my thoughts, could be nonsense)! But yes, I see mixed-race relationships a lot, and we have a LOT of different races and nationalities here.

I also heard that blacks there do not have an inferiority complex like they do in America.


My opinion as a white girl... I don't think they have an inferiority complex in general, but this depends on their class status. If they live in rough areas in a city they might... no, hang on, a white man would feel the same too. I would say they don't. But I may be naive about it. As a white girl, I don't look down on black men in general, and don't know many who do- except British men! British men can be really racist, but 99% of it is behind closed doors. As soon as they see a black man they are really lovely, but then they go home and moan about them.

You said you know something about women from different European countries. Can you compare and contrast some of them? That would be very helpful here.


Ok.

France: Seemed like England, to me. But I just went to Normandy, which isn't known as being fantastic. The women were, to me, colder and didn't mind being abrupt or rude, but I didn't get the sense they were trying to be rude- just was different behaviour. They were natural-looking, didn't seem too dressed up, but not slobby. To be honest I didn't integrate much, I was there to look round war memorials (educational trip). I plan to go again, as I am considering moving there, it's a very popular place for Brits to move to raise their children in a more rural, friendly environment. French boys seemed far more extroverted, shouting funny things at us across museums, things like that.

Spain: I love Spain. I really do. But I didn't see a single attractive Spanish person there. Not one, ever. I actually remember being quite taken aback by this. The women really don't shave their armpits, if that's of concern, and are very, very rude in manner. Also prone to racism. This sounds awful. I am considering moving to Spain, so you can tell I like it. I wouldn't say the people ARE rude, just abrupt, and make no attempt to be 'nice'. Others I know have agreed with me on this. But it's a great country, smells of orange trees, you have horses running around wild, very traditional, little old men herding goats up mountains, etc. My sister lived there in a tiny village for a year and liked it a lot, and found the Spanish really friendly, but agreed they were abrupt. Just, please, don't go to the Costa Del Sol. The very scum of Britain goes there to roast themselves and get drunk and you'll absolutely hate us.

Cyprus and Greece: Friendly, friendly, friendly. And very good-looking. Love these countries, but too hot!

Switzerland: Met some Swiss girls whilst doing environmental volunteering. Wouldn't say any were pretty but were REALLY lovely and friendly to the extreme. Always smiling, showing interest in others, really social, humble, happy, no pretensions.

Estonia: Really natural-looking with unusual clothes. Learnt about eyelash dying here, which is great if you 'need' to wear mascara, as they're all as pale as me. Fantastic sauna culture, cafes everywhere from what I hear. Apparently they often make their own clothes there. They look really different but also summery and girly. An Estonian girl told me she thinks they are much more individual in clothing than British girls who just go to a chainstore (true). Seemed very serious, but still really friendly and talkative, just don't know what would make an Estonian laugh. Very, very mature, I met a girl I thought was 30 and she was 22. They all seem to know 4 languages at least- Estonian, Finnish, Russian and English. One of the countries I really want to go to.

Iran: If I had to choose a country with the most naturally beautiful girls I would pick this one. They are immaculate, and move like swans. Can't even begin to describe. I had a good friend from there, her hands and nails were completely natural and like a magazine photo, her face was make-up free but absolutely immaculate, she spoke really gently and softly and every movement was like ballet. I am not overreacting, and whenever I see Iranian women I see the same quality. I guess it's not Europe, but they stand out so much, I got to add them in.

Poland: Cooooold. Worked with a LOT of Polish people. Really, ice, ice COLD. No crack of a smile, seem disapproving of everyone who talks to them. Fond of their drink, like the Brits. Asked a Polish man what cultural differences he found coming to the UK and he said they were exactly the same. However their clothes are a lot skimpier. Often see mothers pushing prams in tight, tiny miniskirts and high-heels. See them drinking, smoking and shouting in street a lot. Can't give a great impression, sorry.

Bulgaria: Not had chance to speak to many but every. single. one is the goddess of natural beauty and curly dark hair.

Germany: Look like the British, act like really friendly happy Brits who just came down from a mountain, if you can imagine. Really nice, have spoken to a lot. Unpretentious, lovely, natural people.

Sweden: Let down on the famous looks-front. Maybe it was just this group, were quite stocky, sandy-looking with ruddy cheeks. Serious but nice enough. Quite 'bland'. Not sure they represented their country well though.

Finnish: There's a great deal of Finnish people at my university. Personally I see no difference in behaviour whatsoever. Only difference in looks is some have an Asian quality to their faces. Can be a bit serious at first. Really nice people, I think. Lots of 'alternatives' walking around in gothic clothing and dyed hair.

Italian: Same as British from what I can tell. Know two Italians really well, no difference at all, but they jokingly think they are superior.

Think that's it... hm. Another essay!

You said healthcare in the US is expensive. What is it like in the UK? Do you have a government sponsored universal health care plan? Do most people buy health insurance?


We pay high taxes here but healthcare is essentially free. Most people pay £7 for a prescription, any prescription (some get it free of charge). It's government sponsored. We do have some private companies though, like Bupa. If you have the money you can get health insurance instead but many don't as it's really expensive and pretty much the same (except hospital rooms/service etc. is like a hotel). We view the American system with terror and disbelief, the thought of paying to give birth, for instance, seems corrupt. We think healthcare is a right, for all, regardless of money. It's debatable, and Lord knows our healthcare system is far from perfect, but I think you'd be hard put to find a Brit who doesn't share this view.

EDIT: Winston, thank you for the link. It looks like I am doing the right thing. Now just got to choose the country! I have summer off now until I go back to uni, so i am going to have a look at cheap ways to get around. Only problem is I hate the thought of travelling alone and having no one to share it with (my friends are all busy with their own jobs/holidays and my partner has visa issues going pretty much anywhere unfortunately). So I'm thinking of a coach trip perhaps. I'd like to try Austria and Denmark in particular (seems nice, I have a Danish surname, so might be some history there too), let's see!
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Postby FuzzX » Mon May 31, 2010 1:24 pm

Request for account deletion and thread removal

citing:

Please be civil and apologize to her for misjudging her. Think it over.


and



No I don't. I have a girlfriend and kid but we're not married. How many times do I have to say this? Where does everyone get that I'm married? Sheesh. I'm tired of repeating this over and over again.

But what does that have to do with this thread?

Even if I were married, do you expect me to never sleep with another girl again for the rest of my life?


I no longer wish to be associated to you Winston Wu.


I have nothing further to add to this forum and I do not wish to be associated to a whoremonger/hypocrite.

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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 4:10 pm

FuzzX wrote:Request for account deletion and thread removal

citing:

Please be civil and apologize to her for misjudging her. Think it over.


and



No I don't. I have a girlfriend and kid but we're not married. How many times do I have to say this? Where does everyone get that I'm married? Sheesh. I'm tired of repeating this over and over again.

But what does that have to do with this thread?

Even if I were married, do you expect me to never sleep with another girl again for the rest of my life?


I no longer wish to be associated to you Winston Wu.


I have nothing further to add to this forum and I do not wish to be associated to a whoremonger/hypocrite.



Ok then fine. Don't come back then. Your choice. I merely asked you to apologize for misjudging someone, and it is clear that you did. That's what a real man and civil person would do. If that's too much for you, then so be it. You have demonstrated that you are irrational and uncivil, and that doesn't speak well of you. You can delete your own account and profile if you wish. I don't need to do it for you.

Goodbye and good luck.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 5:43 pm

Hi BellaRuth,

You made a good choice in not arguing with FuzzX. There was no basis for an argument anyway. It was a simple case of him misjudging you due to his bad experiences with "western women". He was obviously wrong and if he doesn't admit it, then there's nothing you can do, except ignore him since you can't reason with him.

Thanks again for a very informative post. You certainly add a lot of quality to this forum, the kind that I was hoping to attract :)

I guess there are different ways of being friendly, and different standards. Some think that as long as people smile and nod then they are friendly, even if you don't get invited anywhere or given any phone numbers. Others are friendly only to those they know but not to strangers. As for me, my definition is in how easy it is to meet people.

It's funny you mention rural areas vs. big cities. I started a thread about that, but no one answered it yet. There are valid arguments on both sides of whether small towns or big cities are friendlier. Perhaps you can look at it and give me your take on it? It's at
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=7681

Do you think US culture has seeped into Britain? Since Britain sees itself as more sophisticated than Americans, you would think that Brits would NOT want to copy American culture wouldn't you?

As to mixed relationships in the UK, do you mostly see white males with asian girls, or asian men with white females there? Which do you see more of?

What about Irish women and Scottish women? How would you compare them with English women? I met only one Irish girl once in the US. She was very friendly and cultured and intelligent.

Here is a pic of us:

Image

If you want a travel companion, here is a group on Couchsurfing that you can find companions at. There are pics of each member along with profiles, as well as feedback from other members. There are sub-groups arranged by location too.

http://www.couchsurfing.org/group.html?gid=14

The Europe group is good for that too:

http://www.couchsurfing.org/group.html?gid=162

Trust me, the people there are very nice. I recommend you create a profile. If you do, you don't have to host people. You can just say that you are willing to meet for coffee and a drink or that you don't host people. It's optional. And it's free too.

Even if you travel alone, there's benefits. You don't have to agree on things like where to go next and how long to stay somewhere. Plus it's easy to meet people in Europe, so you can meet a lot of people along the way. I've done that and it's a lot of fun. I never felt lonely traveling in Europe alone. I could always meet people, at least from the Couchsurfing club.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Winston » Mon May 31, 2010 5:55 pm

Btw BellaRuth,

I should say that we may not be the most active, popular or populated expat forum on the web. But our group is probably the most intelligent, freethinking, open and truthful among them. We are not afraid to discuss taboo topics and go deeper than the media and travel sites go into. That's what sets us apart from the rest. We have quality, not quantity. I've been to almost all the expat sites out there and visited their forums to promote this site, and I've seen that they do not have the quality of discussions that we do. They may be good for practical info about basic things, but when it comes to deeper discussions about people, sociology, psychology, culture, etc. we are unrivaled. I know as owner of this forum, I may be biased, but that is my honest opinion.

Another example is my cultural advisor Ladislav's blog, which is linked in the menu above from "Expat Lessons". It contains a lot of deep truths and cultural comparisons. No other blog matches its level. Check it out here:

http://expatriateobservations.blogspot.com

He also posts here regularly. By checking out that blog, you'll see what I mean about the depth that we go into here, which other mainstream expat sites don't.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby BellaRuth » Mon May 31, 2010 6:34 pm

Hi Winston,

I have bookmarked Ladislav's blog and will look at it later. I love cultural comparisons so I'm sure I will enjoy reading through.

Winston wrote:It's funny you mention rural areas vs. big cities. I started a thread about that, but no one answered it yet. There are valid arguments on both sides of whether small towns or big cities are friendlier. Perhaps you can look at it and give me your take on it? It's at
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=7681


I'll go there now, thanks for the link.

Do you think US culture has seeped into Britain? Since Britain sees itself as more sophisticated than Americans, you would think that Brits would NOT want to copy American culture wouldn't you?


We are absorbing more and more US culture here. Growing up, the only taste of US culture I had was watching the odd episode of Kenan and Kel, or seeing American films (Disney, Homeward Bound, Beethoven, that kind of thing). But it wasn't as it is now.

I think the biggest area in which we are becoming Americanised is this 'ghetto' thing. Both whites and blacks adopt it here and it's... just not British. At all. Some of them affect American accents and slang. Boys walking around with really baggy trousers is common. There's also an increase in knife crime etc. Yes we had crime and violence before, but we didn't have gang wars. In rough areas there are real gangs now, like these dangerous tribal urban communities, and its becoming a serious problem for teenagers growing up in deprived areas. They blast out 50 cent and go around trying to sound like rappers. That's recent.

American celebrity news is covered more and more in magazines, etc. In the UK, Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian mean nothing to us, but we still recognise their faces as easily as our own celebrities. There's quite a few American TV shows here but I don't think they are absorbed as well, due to cultural differences. We have Desperate Housewives on here, for instance, but personally I've never been able to watch it (tried 5 minutes once, awful) and don't know anyone else who is a fan. Can't think of any other TV shows shown here right now, but there are a few.

Glee goes down well here. I have to admit I love Glee. I really rarely watch TV but somehow I caught this series and I'm hooked.

I think Brits as a whole don't want to copy America, but America is where the glamour and money is, and we get sucked into it. Children and teenagers are usually the most into America, women next (especially the type that read celebrity magazines). I think adult men resist it a lot more, they want to be more British.

As to mixed relationships in the UK, do you mostly see white males with asian girls, or asian men with white females there? Which do you see more of?


Hmmm. You know, I mostly see Asian couples. We don't have a massive amount of Oriental Asian (as opposed to Middle-Eastern, which we call 'Asian') people here. When I see an Asian, usually they are not British, they are either helping to run a Chinese medicine shop or are from Thailand (in my city we have a fair few Thai women married to older British men, I see hordes at church). If I do see Asians with whites, I'd say they are about equal. My eldest sister married a Chinese man and had a baby with him, for instance, and I do see British guys with Asian girls.

What about Irish women and Scottish women? How would you compare them with English women? I met only one Irish girl once in the US. She was very friendly and cultured and intelligent.


Honestly... JUST the same. I am far more Irish and Scottish than I am English so hopefully they'd forgive me. There is some (mostly lighthearted) friction between these countries, but the people are exactly the same in my experience. Your picture is lovely. She looks very pretty. That's my skin colour right there, now I know where I got it from!

Thanks for the reference to Couchsurfing, I will check it out.
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Postby fschmidt » Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:19 am

If someone can tolerate European levels of feminism, I would recommend Slovenia. That was my favorite European country.
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Postby Shokkers » Tue Jun 01, 2010 2:28 pm

Hello BellaRuth...

I was thinking you might like Torremolinos, it's on the southern coast of Spain. It's got a warm climate and it's kind of a 'hot spot' for tourists, I heard a lot of people speaking English there.

Right below that is Gibraltar, which was colonized by the British.

I too was thinking of the Czech Republic but I would probably live there only during the spring and summer, if possible (and live in Costa Rica during the winter)

Heh...I was in London a while back and had a great time, but everything was expensive, as you say. My girlfriend was actually thinking of moving there, saying "Hey, here's a nice flat for 4800 a month!" And I said "Ahem, that's POUNDS, you genius, making it around 9600..."

I thought Brits were cool, especially the ladies...they seemed to be always scoping out my girlfriend and I...at a certain point I wanted to ask "Do you find us attractive? Because we find YOU attractive, if you know what I mean."

Best, KK
KK's books CLOWNWHITE and INHUMAN RESOURCES are out now on Amazon.com!
"If you're going through Hell...Keep Going."--Winston Churchill
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Postby BellaRuth » Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:23 pm

Shokkers wrote:Hello BellaRuth...

I was thinking you might like Torremolinos, it's on the southern coast of Spain. It's got a warm climate and it's kind of a 'hot spot' for tourists, I heard a lot of people speaking English there.


Hi Shokkers.

I've been to the South of Spain (Costa del Sol area, Marbella, Fuengirola, Coin) and I really liked it... except for the British. Nothing against my countryfolks in general but the sort that flock there just seem to want to get drunk, get as sunburnt as possible and ignore all aspects of the Spanish culture. In addition it was too hot for me!

I'm thinking Barcelona. My boyfriend has a cousin near there and he likes it, but not enough to live there. We'll go together and have a look around again, just in case. Don't suppose you've been to the North of Spain?

Yes London is SO expensive. I remember last time I went there I too was taken in by a swanky flat. I pointed to it and said 'oh look we could get that for £2000 a month' which is still really expensive. We were talking about how expensive it was and how much it works out to be a week, etc. THEN I noticed it wasn't £2000 a month... it was £2000 a WEEK!

Glad you liked it here, I've always been interested in how Britain/Brits are seen by outsiders as I obviously can't experience that for myself.
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Postby Winston » Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:02 pm

BellaRuth wrote:
Shokkers wrote:Hello BellaRuth...

I was thinking you might like Torremolinos, it's on the southern coast of Spain. It's got a warm climate and it's kind of a 'hot spot' for tourists, I heard a lot of people speaking English there.


Hi Shokkers.

I've been to the South of Spain (Costa del Sol area, Marbella, Fuengirola, Coin) and I really liked it... except for the British. Nothing against my countryfolks in general but the sort that flock there just seem to want to get drunk, get as sunburnt as possible and ignore all aspects of the Spanish culture. In addition it was too hot for me!

I'm thinking Barcelona. My boyfriend has a cousin near there and he likes it, but not enough to live there. We'll go together and have a look around again, just in case. Don't suppose you've been to the North of Spain?

Yes London is SO expensive. I remember last time I went there I too was taken in by a swanky flat. I pointed to it and said 'oh look we could get that for £2000 a month' which is still really expensive. We were talking about how expensive it was and how much it works out to be a week, etc. THEN I noticed it wasn't £2000 a month... it was £2000 a WEEK!

Glad you liked it here, I've always been interested in how Britain/Brits are seen by outsiders as I obviously can't experience that for myself.


Those prices are insane. I won't even ask about hotel prices. There are hostels in London for $20 a night though. I found some on www.hostels.com. You can also use couchsurfing.org and hospitalityclub.org like I mentioned.

To me, Brits seems well mannered and kind of meek by American standards, almost too polite and humble. When I see that, it's hard to imagine some oppressive British Empire of the past conquering India, stealing lands, and all that. I mean the Brits I see don't seem aggressive at all. So how can they have evolved from some mighty aggressive empire?

I also hear that British bosses are a-holes and a pain to work for. Some on this forum noticed that. Why is that? I had only British boss for the Moscow paper I wrote for before, but he was very nice and reasonable.

Btw, in regards to race and dating again, did you know that in America, Oriental Asian males are placed at the bottom of the desirability totem pole, along with Black females? How about in Britain? Is there a totem pole with one race more desirable than the other? If so, where do Oriental Asian males rank?

That's terrible that the UK is incorporating the gangs and violent culture of the US. Perhaps there is a conspiracy by the US and UK to create more chaos in order to justify more control of an Orwellian state and taking away more freedoms from people, like David Icke says. It's called problem-reaction-solution.

Do British girls like American accents from guys? Is it attractive? Or are they looked down upon?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby BellaRuth » Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:57 pm

Winston wrote:
Those prices are insane. I won't even ask about hotel prices. There are hostels in London for $20 a night though. I found some on www.hostels.com. You can also use couchsurfing.org and hospitalityclub.org like I mentioned.



I've just booked a simple hotel room in London tomorrow night for £45. Not too bad.

If you want I can tell you about London when I return, but specific questions will be more useful as it's hard to see it from a foreign perspective, so I'm not sure which details to focus on.

To me, Brits seems well mannered and kind of meek by American standards, almost too polite and humble. When I see that, it's hard to imagine some oppressive British Empire of the past conquering India, stealing lands, and all that. I mean the Brits I see don't seem aggressive at all. So how can they have evolved from some mighty aggressive empire?


We have a dark side, like everything else. We are not just tea and crumpets. We have football hooligans, 'chavs' and a real binge-drinking problem, for instance. Go to some places in the UK and you'll be lucky to get out alive. I don't mean this to sound frightening because the country I know and grew up in is, by and large, a pretty place with polite and friendly people, exactly the kind you mentioned- but after all, I am white and middle-class, and lucky. I only know sleepy, rural areas and I don't drink alcohol- so I have missed the spectacle of seeing drunk people every Friday and Saturday night. Our alcohol problem is out of control, and other countries in Europe hate us for it- especially Greece and Spain, where the underclass love to go and cause trouble with no respect for the locals.

I love history but I think things here in the past were terrifying. I have been to a lot of stately homes and the atmosphere in some almost transports you back. One in particular was almost suffocating, and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Portraits of the aristocracy hung on the walls like all-knowing wrathful gods, stuffed animals, tiger skin rugs and hunting paraphernalia was everywhere (the incessant urge to control anything free and wild, it seemed) and the servant's quarters, and the rules for the servants, were more akin to outright slavery. This kind of arrogance and superiority complex was, I think, the root of the British empire. They were rich, upper-class and unaccountable, they could do no wrong, and everyone in the world was a lesser being, ready for exploitation. I feel very apologetic towards how we treated other nations in the past.

I think the British mindset is nothing like this anymore, we have matured and become more humble. But we see America as taking that attitude now, the new world-ruler.

I also hear that British bosses are a-holes and a pain to work for. Some on this forum noticed that. Why is that? I had only British boss for the Moscow paper I wrote for before, but he was very nice and reasonable.


I can't agree with this. Maybe you've spoken to some people who just happened to have horrible British employers. I've always had nice employers. My last boss was fantastic and friends with everyone. I do hold the view that as a country we are laid-back, cheerful people, and emphatic.

Btw, in regards to race and dating again, did you know that in America, Oriental Asian males are placed at the bottom of the desirability totem pole, along with Black females? How about in Britain? Is there a totem pole with one race more desirable than the other? If so, where do Oriental Asian males rank?


Hmmmmmm.

I hate answering questions like this because all it can ever be is my opinion, and someone else could well say the exact opposite. With that disclaimer out of the way, here's my totem pole...

I think we are fine with other races. I would put Middle-Easterns (the ones WE call 'Asians') at the bottom of the totem pole. This isn't to do with looks, but how they are as a group. They keep to themselves, aren't fond of integrating and a lot of them seem to view white people as inferior because they are not Muslims. Often Muslim boys go out with white girls, promise them the earth to get laid, then break their hearts and marry a Muslim virgin. I've always been warned off Asian boys because of this.

I'd have to lump Eastern Europeans, Blacks and Orientals together, I can't see who'd be the winner. it all depends on how they integrate. If they don't bother speaking English or getting to know English people then we will leave them alone. But if they do integrate they'd have no problems at all.

Black girls, I think, tend to mix with black boys. I don't know many black girls very well but I don't see them with white boys often at all. They seem too dominating, I guess.

Do British girls like American accents from guys? Is it attractive? Or are they looked down upon?


Nah, British girls seem to love American accents. This is going to sound corny but if I saw a nice guy with an American accent he'd seem like a filmstar, or something. It's the movie accent, isn't it? Makes them seem more exotic. I'd be hesitant about getting serious with an American guy incase he wants me to live over there, but a lot of girls would take that as a plus-sign, I think. There's two types of American man stereotypes: one is confident, a little bit of cowboy blood, a little bit of movie-land sparkle, y'know. You can squint your eyes and imagine you're going out with Brad Pitt. The other is fat, uneducated, simple-minded and shouts everyone else down. No prizes for guessing which would be the winner.
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