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I totally agree with Winston on all this

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I totally agree with Winston on all this

Postby fromEngland » Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:04 pm

Hello. I am Richard and am from the UK and society over here is just as bad as how you find the US. Girls over here are generally standoffish here as well and I've always had dates that always end up with mind games, that's on the very few occasions that I actually get a new girl's number and get a date. So bluntly to put it, if you want to head off to Europe, then don't consider the UK as an alternate to the US (I even feel the same way with making friends with English guys - Pretty much impossible apart from the odd minority). Anyway, back to the topic. I definitely also have inclinations to go abroad to simply get a better quality of life. Spain is an option - I've been there before and will be going there again this year. I feel like I can be myself there and I felt much happier too than back in the UK where I feel very isolated. Language is no barrier to me. I am quite good on Spanish now and learning German too and if I went somewhere else then I would push myself to learn the lingo there as well. Seriously, this article is so accurate in the experiences. I am myself "waiting" to make the step.
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Postby jamesbond » Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:17 pm

Welcome Richard, glad you found our forum. It's interesting that guys from the UK say the women there are the same as American women (unfriendly, anti-social). I also hear guys from Canada say the same thing. It must anglo-women in general that are this way. That's why traveling to other countries is a great option for men. Agan, welcome to our forum! :D
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Postby BellaRuth » Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:31 pm

Hi. I'm from England too, and want to move abroad as well. I've whittled it down to Spain and France thanks mostly to advice on here. I agree that in general it's a much better quality of life abroad, for me the finances in particular, but also I find a lot of things are disappearing here which I miss- it's not a good place to live anymore for the average worker, and certainly no place to start a family, in my opinion. I find houses really small and overpriced and it is becoming more socially isolated as soon as you move out of countryside communities. The country I love is dying it seems, bit by bit.

Out if curiosity, why do you have difficulty making friends with English guys? Personally I am lucky in that I have met a lot of nice people here (all from rural settings which I think is a big factor) and can filter out the types you describe, but I do find that the focus on alcohol being necessary to socialise with is difficult, because I don't like to drink. Just wondering if that's the case with you. If you don't drink, there's not a fat lot you get invited to do. In mainland Europe that's not the case, people just go to other's houses and talk and cook etc. without getting 'wasted'.

I love Spain myself but am more interested in the North as the South is no escape (fish n chips and chavs everywhere) and too hot for my tastes. Have you been to the North? I'd like a Brit's point of view on it.

Anyway, nice to see a fellow countryman here! I hope you find the right place for you to move to.
Toute connaissance est une réponse à une question. - Gaston Bachelard
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Postby Adama » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:33 pm

Definitely France, Germany, Spain, Portugal. Avoid Holland and Germany. Once you understand much of what they say, it is just plain mean the things that come out of their mouths. Yikes.

They enjoy it so much they have a saying for it: "Schadenfreude ist Der Beste Freude."
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Re: I totally agree with Winston on all this

Postby dano » Mon Jun 07, 2010 3:29 am

fromEngland wrote:Hello. I am Richard and am from the UK and society over here is just as bad as how you find the US. Girls over here are generally standoffish here as well and I've always had dates that always end up with mind games, that's on the very few occasions that I actually get a new girl's number and get a date. So bluntly to put it, if you want to head off to Europe, then don't consider the UK as an alternate to the US (I even feel the same way with making friends with English guys - Pretty much impossible apart from the odd minority). Anyway, back to the topic. I definitely also have inclinations to go abroad to simply get a better quality of life. Spain is an option - I've been there before and will be going there again this year. I feel like I can be myself there and I felt much happier too than back in the UK where I feel very isolated. Language is no barrier to me. I am quite good on Spanish now and learning German too and if I went somewhere else then I would push myself to learn the lingo there as well. Seriously, this article is so accurate in the experiences. I am myself "waiting" to make the step.


I can assure you the problems you have dating women are not your fault.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... n-men.html
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Postby Winston » Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:42 pm

Hi Richard,
You aren't the first Brit to say that here. Which article are you referring to?

You are lucky that you can just take the underwater subway to France and start traveling around Europe.

British guys seem friendly when I meet them, and more down to earth and less arrogant than Americans. But I meet mostly British travelers.

I've never understood the logic of "getting wasted". What advantage or benefit is there in it? It doesn't make sense. And to me, it doesn't feel good either. I don't mind one beer. But I don't like drinking more and more.

Richard, is all of England like that? Have you tried the countryside, smaller cities, or Wales?
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Postby fromEngland » Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:52 pm

Hi James Bond - Someone who normally gets the girls is also feeling the same thing! I'm surprised that it's the same for Canada as someone I'm talking to from there says that in Vancouver, he knows quite a few girls. And also Canada's number 2 for making friends with the locals I found out. But I guess it could be dependent on the region.

Hi Bella Ruth. I like your name. It sounds pretty old fashioned... I like old fashioned. Where abouts in England are you from? Finances themselves, even though the cost of living is high in this country, I don't personally find it a problem as I'm good with living cheaply - I've successfully eaten a good diet (including fish) whilst at uni for £10 - £15 a week. That's what Asda did for me. Housing, getting a good property is difficult and sometimes there's mould on the walls and that.

With English guys. It's very cliquey down here in the south and a lot of them are limited to wanting to go down the pub and conversations are generally are very substanceless - You get what I mean. You're bang on about the alcohol and that. What's the point of paying large amounts of money to make yourself ill? I just drink the odd beer or whatever from time to time and it's good quality ale - None of this Carling or Fosters rubbish.

Yes, I've been to both the north and south and I think that the south's friendlier, but the whole culture itself is helpful, tidy and very family orientated. Plus there's good food which is more apparent in the north and it's green there too.

J'Adama, how come you'd both recommend and dissuade against Germany? I heard that Germany too has a big divide with the south being friendly and Austria's appealing definitely. Why not Holland?

Hi Dano, not really sure how to answer that apart from that you're right as well. Are you from the UK?

Hi Winston, I'm refering to what you're index page says. Where are you living now since leaving the US? Yeah, British guys seem friendly, but it's difficult at the pub when they're in their own little cliques. Funnily enough, lots of people say that American girls find British guys really attractive and I don't know why.

England, it seems that it's the south-east which includes the island at the bottom. I've been to the Midlands for a family holiday and it's so much different where everyone says hello to each other and is interested in getting to know each other. There's a community feel to there and the north. I don't live in a big city and have the countryside right by me, the beach and a town. The country's the only main place where walkers will at least greet each other and make conversation, but the ice barrier's still there regardless for the most part. Wales I've never been to, but apparently it's friendly there and they have a strong accent. Whatever you do, I wouldn't suggest London because that's the worst place for coldness in the UK.
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Postby Winston » Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:27 am

fromEngland,
What do you think of this guy's remarks about England? He says at night everyone is very sociable and he gets phone numbers everyday when he goes out. Is that cause he's good looking with an American accent?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFdnqFR1bPs&NR=1
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Postby BellaRuth » Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:10 pm

fromEngland wrote: Where abouts in England are you from?


Hi,

I just moved up from Cornwall (far West, by St Ives n all that). Right now I live in the West Mids, Worcestershire. Coming from Cornwall I feel like I am in a really urban city, haha. But it's alright here, I'm getting used to it, and there's still enough farmers around to make me feel at home!

Right now the only supermarket nearby me is M+S which you can imagine isn't too great on a low budget (and I have no car to travel further)... but yes, i live ok food-wise. I eat a lot of raw food. But the housing is insane, I can't imagine starting a life here.

My mother's side has Danish links and I've heard great things about Denmark so am planning to check that out. I want to study my Masters abroad then decide where to go.

With English guys. It's very cliquey down here in the south and a lot of them are limited to wanting to go down the pub and conversations are generally are very substanceless - You get what I mean. You're bang on about the alcohol and that. What's the point of paying large amounts of money to make yourself ill? I just drink the odd beer or whatever from time to time and it's good quality ale - None of this Carling or Fosters rubbish.


This is my BIGGEST problem socially. You have to go to the pub to meet people, and as I mentioned, I don't drink (maybe the odd glass of wine, but nothing compared to the average Brit). Really, really difficult to get round this! I didn't find it too hard in Cornwall as people often chill on the beach and such, but in the Midlands, alcohol is crucial for almost anything.

I'm not familiar with oop North apart from Sheffield and York (just a few days in each)! I find Cornwall very friendly apart from the rich London kids that come down thinking they are top surfers. I'm not familiar with London either, but i love visiting the city centre. i guess to live there is a different kettle of fish altogether.

Wales is nice, been there, but can be difficult to integrate in parts, moreso than England. I'd say the Welsh are perhaps the most cliquey of all the Brits.

I think (though not sure) we are the only two Brits on this forum, the majority are American.

What would you most like to find in another country? For me its a simpler, happier life with genuine people and not having to be a wage-slave to afford a glorified cupboard the estate agents call a 'family home'!
Toute connaissance est une réponse à une question. - Gaston Bachelard
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 16, 2010 3:50 pm

BellaRuth wrote:
This is my BIGGEST problem socially. You have to go to the pub to meet people, and as I mentioned, I don't drink (maybe the odd glass of wine, but nothing compared to the average Brit). Really, really difficult to get round this! I didn't find it too hard in Cornwall as people often chill on the beach and such, but in the Midlands, alcohol is crucial for almost anything.


Can't you just go to the pubs, and socialize, but not drink alcohol, and order coke or ice tea or juice instead?

You can always say that your doctor gave you medication and told you not to drink alcohol. Almost any prescription drug you take will come with instructions not to drink alcohol. So tons of people must not drink cause of that right? It's a very valid excuse.
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Postby BellaRuth » Wed Jun 16, 2010 4:09 pm

Winston wrote:Can't you just go to the pubs, and socialize, but not drink alcohol, and order coke or ice tea or juice instead?

You can always say that your doctor gave you medication and told you not to drink alcohol. Almost any prescription drug you take will come with instructions not to drink alcohol. So tons of people must not drink cause of that right? It's a very valid excuse.


I do go and drink non-alcoholic drinks but it's often seen as a bit strange and uptight, I'd say particularly if you are a young person in your late teens or twenties. I don't mind being honest about the fact I'm not into drinking. Out with my close friends, it's fine, they drink/don't drink/whatever and let me do what I want too, but people may well tell you to 'let your hair down and have a good time' and 'loosen up' by getting drunk. Additionally if you are a non-drinker and have a car you'll probably be the 'designated driver' carting all the others safely back home.

I have managed to get by this myself, but I find that for instance at university if you don't drink alcohol you are forced to bypass a lot of the social events. And when you get invited to a party or just to 'go out' on the night, it is expected that everyone will get drunk in order to make it a 'good night', and you'll be seen as someone so uptight and proper that you can't even allow yourself to relax and have a drink.
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Postby jamesbond » Wed Jun 16, 2010 4:54 pm

BellaRuth wrote:I do go and drink non-alcoholic drinks but it's often seen as a bit strange and uptight, I'd say particularly if you are a young person in your late teens or twenties. I don't mind being honest about the fact I'm not into drinking. Out with my close friends, it's fine, they drink/don't drink/whatever and let me do what I want too, but people may well tell you to 'let your hair down and have a good time' and 'loosen up' by getting drunk. Additionally if you are a non-drinker and have a car you'll probably be the 'designated driver' carting all the others safely back home.

I have managed to get by this myself, but I find that for instance at university if you don't drink alcohol you are forced to bypass a lot of the social events. And when you get invited to a party or just to 'go out' on the night, it is expected that everyone will get drunk in order to make it a 'good night', and you'll be seen as someone so uptight and proper that you can't even allow yourself to relax and have a drink.


It's the same way in America. It's EXPECTED that when you go out on the weekends you get drunk with your friends! I don't drink either and never was into the "bar scene" as so many single people in the US are. In college it was worse, if you didn't get drunk on the weekends you were considered a "freak" and a "weirdo."

I think "pop culture" in America is the reason why drinking is glorified so much. A lot of single people can't have fun unless they are drunk and that's really sad. Drinking is the national past time for a lot of single people in the US. :shock:
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