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mirrorrorrim
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Post by mirrorrorrim »

I used to find the women (British) were incredibly obnoxious and would tear any poor bloke apart who dared to chat them up. They only seemed to go out in order to humiliate guys
Its a game to them and no guy dares to approach a woman if she is with friends, as you will in most cases just crash and burn and be laughed at by them. I'm lucky as I've a thick skin but doing shit like that to guys can badly knock their confidence and its no wonder a lot of guys would just walk on by rather than giving up a single second more of their precious time to boost a woman's ego.

Its not just pubs and clubs though, its everywhere now and its best to ONLY (if you can be bothered) to approach an English woman when she is on her own. Which even then its quite a waste of time as I've no doubt she has already thought of you as a danger to her and the protective screen is already in place before you can even say a hello to her. Which again shows a lot are well too paranoid for their own good but bad boys who treat them badly somehow are heroes to them :lol:

Seriously its kind of crazy at times, especially as the English was well known to be well mannered, polite, helped strangers etc but now if you see someone needed help (especially if the person is female).....Just walk the opposite way.


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mattyman
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Post by mattyman »

Hello again. It's been a little while since I was last on. It's interesting to know what some english guys think of american women. All I can say is that I haven't really met any american women, except one working in a shop once. She seemed nice enough. She was fairly well-travelled though and lived with relatives in the UK so probably wasn't the architypal american woman. As far as anglo girls go, I have yet the joy of finding out which ones are better (or worse!). Judging from some of those posts I read, it seemed some of those guys had pretty bad experiences. Is it true that a lot of american young women really do judge guys by their material positions and money making power? I would never even dream of going out with a girl with an attitude like that, no matter how hot she is. Sod that. I can't stand shallow materialistic girls. If money was important in the dating game then god 'elp us all! Sadly though, some girls over here are becoming increasingly like that, though I don't think the UK is quite as bad in that respect, though not far behind.

As far as elegant, feminine, sweet girls goes; in the main, they are very rare indeed and then again it depends on where you live, your class and your social circle you grew up with. In my experience you hardly ever meet girls with the sweetness, femininity, manners and humility of those girls in evil twins. I think those types died out long ago. I certainly wouldn't recommend the UK for single guys who want to meet girls with those good qualities, and that I can say with high confidence. You certainly won't meet Hermione Granger if that's what you think english girls are like, well, maybe in posh areas perhaps.

In fact, you may be interested to know that in the inn where my dad stays when he goes to work, the managers have hired a French girl and a Romanian girl. He says that they are both considerably more polite, better mannered and better at conversing than typical modern english girls. He told me he once had a chat with the manager about them. He told me that the manager hired foreign staff in preference to domestic stock due to the fact that they have better manners, social skills and are not grumpy and sullen (like a lot of modern english girls have become).

Oh, by the way I should mention that there is a large percentage of young women that walk with their noses in the air with that stuck-up look on their face that says 'I'm too good for you all' or that they think they're looks excuse their need to be nice. We get a lot of that over here. It's especially common among slim, fashionable girls. I personally can't stand girls that are that full of themselves; yuck!

Another thing I must add here is that a lot of young women here regularly get drunk and behave in realy aggressive, unfeminine ways and can in fact be quite intimidating. Sometimes they ven urinate in the street. We have a term over here for that. We call it the 'ladette' culture. I think it's bloody disgusting myself.

Anyway, I hope this didn't sound too negative. Bear in mind, that what I have said here will vary tremendously from area to area. In the area where I live (a coastal resrot town) there is an almost complete lack of nice girls. It's not as bad as this everywhere though.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

But how do you guys explain these experiences then?

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mirrorrorrim
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Post by mirrorrorrim »

But how do you guys explain these experiences then?
He is talking about a UK girl going to America, we are talking about the way women are here on our own doorsteps.... Which English women are NOT so wonderful as non English people experience, you're just a lucky bastard to experience a good apple amongst the bad rotten bunch of apples but to us who are used to experience our own kind, its a different story and Id hope people had sense not to even think England is some kind of amazing place to find those non existing amazing English women you see in our films.

The best way to spot a decent English woman is by her drinking habits and by looking at how her friends dress, act and behave. Or if you do manage to speak to one, Id bet money she will question you quickly about something financial related as many will judge you ONLY with what money/possessions you have and you must have a car.
mattyman
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Post by mattyman »

re mirrorrorrim
It looks like you feel the same way that I do about the way British girls have become. I find the 'ladette' culture we have such an embarrassment for this country. I guess you're right to an extent that you can judge the quality of modern british girls by their drinking habits. Also, some are of the mentality of judging you by your assets and attributes as opposed to what you're like to get on with as a person, that's what I have a problem with, though I don't think we have yet sunk to the level of judging people by their material possessions, except among teenage girls. The again I suppose that aspect depends on the circles you've had the fortune (or misfortune) to mix with.

I live in a seaside town called weymouth, have you ever been there? On the surface it looks like a picture postcard resort in a beautiful setting with magnificent coastal scenery nearby yet when it comes to the social environment, I really wouldn't recommend it. Firstly I can say that it's a chav-infested ghetto with one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the southwest. It has one of the highest concentrations of pubs and nightclubs in the country. People here generally look angry and aggressive in their body language. All in all, it is a very rough and tough town and certainly not the place for me. The girls here are EXTREMELY unapproachable, loud, unfeminine, even compared to cities such as Cardiff, and many of my friends feel the same way as I do. Slim ones here all seem to think that they're miss universe. In Despite this towns size and location it can feel like a big rough city. It's OK to go on holiday I guess, but living here is hell, well certainly a lot worse than many other parts of the country in those respects.
BellaRuth
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Post by BellaRuth »

My overall viewpoint about UK girls, as one. Going to spew forth whatever is in my head, but hope it helps somewhat:

- on the whole not as bad as Americans with respect to materialism, rudeness, etc. We do have different overall characters and cultures so won't be absolute clones of American girls. Americans on a whole are more opinionated, louder and brash from what I've seen, and more ready to step on people underfoot. Some girls here are like that, but I wouldn't say it is a common way to be, or inherent to the English character. I think in general we are more informed about the world and more conversational and friendly. I also think quite a few English men who say the girls are the same as Americans haven't actually been to the U.S., and if they do meet American girls, they think they are worse.

- however due to media, Americanisation, feminism, political correctness, whatever, there are indeed some similarities people point out, and this is most obvious when you meet a 'bad' English lass and compare her with a nice Romanian, for instance. There is a lot that needs to be changed.

- if you actually live here you will notice all the bad ones, which is why English men go crazy surrounded by horrible ladettes, fat and drunk, and he can't find a good girl to have a relationship with. I think it's gotten so extreme now that any working-class male will find it nigh impossible to get a good girl unless he lives in extremely rural areas or goes for a foreigner. The nice girls seem to be more common in middle-class and above (in social standing, not money). This isn't snobbishness from me. Working-class girls used to be lovely, down to earth, humble. Now they are the first to latch onto ghetto culture, perhaps due to working-class culture diminishing, traditional jobs etc. being taken away, and nothing left for them apart from being numbed by television or turning to crime. It is really that bad in poor areas here. Above working-class they have more roots to cling onto, and their parents are more likely to demand a certain standard from them to keep them respectable. The worst girls I've met are always from poor, awful city areas where no one expects anything from them and they have to act 'tough'- the best from more fortunate countryside communities who need to show their parents have brought them up well.

- if an American man meets a nice English girl he may well be surprised and happy and consider her to be 'better'. But consider if he comes here, especially to a shitty city and sees all the ladettes on a night out. Totally different experience. Likewise an English man surrounded by pretty, smiley Sophies and Emilys who bake cupcakes for their friends and go horseriding on Sundays won't see why Kevin from the council estate is sick of the overweight, masculine and violent women around him.

- it's not that clear-cut, though. Middle-class girls aren't all nice English roses and can be as bad as working-class, plus they are more likely to be spoilt little princesses who don't see the point in growing up. But I hope this explains why I think so many men have so different experiences. Nice English girls do exist but the towns aren't brimming with them and if you don't have access to them you will find yourself surrounded by the dregs. In addition the nice girls are almost always married off fairly quickly, so it can be hard to find one that's available. In other countries there are far more nice, single girls to choose from who retain their qualities even in the worst of conditions.
mattyman
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Post by mattyman »

re Bellaruth
I would agree with a lot things you say here. Despite not having met any 'typical' american young people I can't really comment. It is interesting to see a that a lot of english guys don't think much of american women. I can understand us not being so bad as far as brashness, loudness and supidity are concerned. Yes, we definitely are much more informed about the world than americans, I can definitey attest to that. As far as american women being worse. To be fair I have only ever breifly met one american girl in my life and thus can't really generalise. My only opinions I have on this matter are based on things I've read in message boards and from shows I've seen on tv as well as some things people I know have said. I don't think people over here are as materialistic as americans are. For instance I wouldn't say that the types f girls that judge guys by their wealth and status are the norm here (than goodness). Though some of those american traits such as brashness, loudness, having to feel 'better' than someone else for self esteem etc. do occur fairly widely among young people, especially in the area I live, though in a more attenuated form than in americans. Then again, this country is very varied and I suppose one's opinion is highly influenced by one's local area and social environment.

Abouth working class people. I think a major part of the problem here is the fact that family and community values have been heavily eroded. I think young people these days, especially in working class areas (hope I don't sound like a snob)
get a lot of their role models from the tv. In Eastenders for instance, people are mostly bitchy and catty towards each other. I think people pick this sort of thing up as a way to be. I also think though that we have a general climate of slefishness and an 'every man for himself' mentality, especially in those areas. This is, as you pointed out, because nothing is expected of them. I think we've had something like three generations of this. Very sad but true. From what I've heard from older people, not too long ago many working class neighbourhoods used to have good neighbourliness and good family values. You're probably right about nice girls being more common in middle class area, but even so you still get spoilt bratty snotty-nosed types that take everything for granted. You're right about that.

I must say that where I live though, nice girls are virtually non-existant, well, they tend to move away to go to uni. I live in a seaside town called Weymouth, have you been there? It is a very chavvy place, there are many areas that could be termed bedsit-ville, there are also many rough council estates and it's almost saturated with drinking establishments (most are absolutely appalling). It is in a very beautiful location though, with a great beach. Anyway, it's not the sort of place where one would find pretty Sophies and Emilies with mild manners and grace, that's absolutely certain. I think any american coming here expecting that is in for a bit of a shock.

Anyway, my belief is that nice, sweet feminine girls are very, very (times 10 to the power of god-knows what) rare in the towns and cities here. I think in general there is a shortage of those feminine qualities here, though I dare not mention any of this in public! I really honestly do think that they occur at a greater density on the continent and get progressively more dense the further from the sphere of americanisation one gets. What do you think?
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Post by BellaRuth »

Hi Mattyman. Sorry I've taken so long to reply, not had the internet for a week!
mattyman wrote:Yes, we definitely are much more informed about the world than americans, I can definitey attest to that.
Not saying much though is it :D sorry Yanks.

I caught a programme not long ago (think it was posted here by Winston- something about American girls wanting to be 'English princesses', a sort of reality show. One girl didn't know where Australia was. Other horrors followed. I can't imagine the stupidest girl here not knowing that. I got pretty appalled when I heard a girl here recently say to me 'all food is organic 'cos it comes out of the ground' (I like to buy organic food when I can) but that's not on a par with 'where is Australia'. Bloody hell.
Abouth working class people. I think a major part of the problem here is the fact that family and community values have been heavily eroded. I think young people these days, especially in working class areas (hope I don't sound like a snob)
get a lot of their role models from the tv. In Eastenders for instance, people are mostly bitchy and catty towards each other. I think people pick this sort of thing up as a way to be. I also think though that we have a general climate of slefishness and an 'every man for himself' mentality, especially in those areas. This is, as you pointed out, because nothing is expected of them. I think we've had something like three generations of this. Very sad but true. From what I've heard from older people, not too long ago many working class neighbourhoods used to have good neighbourliness and good family values. You're probably right about nice girls being more common in middle class area, but even so you still get spoilt bratty snotty-nosed types that take everything for granted. You're right about that.
It's hard not to mention this sort of thing without being scared you'll come across as 'snobby'. It's fairly taboo to mention social class etc. in conversation for most Brits, and I think that's fair enough, but when you're talking about society it's hard to ignore the differences that crop up in social classes. I don't see the negative traits of 'British girls' as often in the middle-class. In fact I often find middle-class girls are outspoken anti-feminists.

Celebrity saturation is everywhere but I think the working-class latch onto it more. They live in worse areas, might not want to go out, or have anywhere to go apart from a pub. The community has completely gone in a lot of working-class areas. Only in middle-class or rural areas do I get strangers smiling, approachable, saying 'hi' as they walk past with their dog, or 'good morning'. In working-class areas I just feel like someone is going to stab me, haha. Not a good environment. So I guess the celebrity world helps them escape, but it just produces self-obsessed people who live on their own planet.
I must say that where I live though, nice girls are virtually non-existant, well, they tend to move away to go to uni. I live in a seaside town called Weymouth, have you been there? It is a very chavvy place, there are many areas that could be termed bedsit-ville, there are also many rough council estates and it's almost saturated with drinking establishments (most are absolutely appalling). It is in a very beautiful location though, with a great beach. Anyway, it's not the sort of place where one would find pretty Sophies and Emilies with mild manners and grace, that's absolutely certain. I think any american coming here expecting that is in for a bit of a shock.
Never been, might make a mental note to give it a miss. I went to Swanage last year, loved it, but was only for 2 days. Didn't see much of it.
Anyway, my belief is that nice, sweet feminine girls are very, very (times 10 to the power of god-knows what) rare in the towns and cities here. I think in general there is a shortage of those feminine qualities here, though I dare not mention any of this in public! I really honestly do think that they occur at a greater density on the continent and get progressively more dense the further from the sphere of americanisation one gets. What do you think?


You know, I think it's mostly to do with expectations of others. People like following herds. I don't necessarily think that's bad, it's just how we are. If these ladette girls were in a culture where it was looked down upon to behave like that, they'd straighten up pretty sharpish. I have been in a lot of circumstances myself where I thought it would be much easier to act like that sort of girl (but i can't! I think it's to do with my family. Family installs certain values in you, it's important. My mother would keel over if she saw me acting like that!)

So the more acceptable it is to be feminine, sweet, etc., the more girls would feel safer acting that way. In the middle-classes there's no pressure to be tough or like a ladette, you are not looked down upon for being even the most traditional girl. In some other circles that would be suicide.

In fact perhaps one of the main reasons I try to act how I do is because if I did otherwise I would disappoint a lot of people. Who knows how much of our personalities is conscious choice and which comes from the societies we live in? If I turned into a ladette tomorrow pretty much everyone I know would be shocked, confused and a bit wary. Maybe if I'd grown up in a tower-block flat in a horrible area I'd be a different girl altogether.

As for the differences in countries, it is far less acceptable in a lot of other countries to act like a ladette, so girls wouldn't do it, they'd go with what is more valued. On the whole people like others to approve. If they get approval from getting drunk, having casual sex and not showing respect for themselves, for being the tough, crazy one, then they might go that route. In most countries I think that would be almost unthinkable, for a girl to get approval acting like that, so they'd act more feminine as required. I dunno. :)
mattyman
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Post by mattyman »

You're probably right about the expectations from others influencing peoples behaviour. I think that in those working class areas parents don't foster good values in children. I don't think that basic standards of human decency, let alone feminine behaviour in girls is encouraged. I also think that peer-pressure, not parents is what brings up a lot of those, principally working class people. From what I've witnessed of those types of people, I get the impression that a lot of parents simply don't care, they don't instill a sense of belonging and of nurture. I also don't think that qualities of kindness, humility etc. are encouraged or expected at all, in fact, they can even be seen as a sign of weakness.

May I also add, that pub culture and football probably play a large part in bringing up people in those areas. Unfortunately these people probably have nothing better to do, they probably work every hour god sends and are probably very unhappy, this might explain the cycle of binge drinking. Also, there is this culture of not talking to others about one's problems, for fear of being seen as 'weak'. I believe that this is a common phenomenon in working class areas. I think that this habit of bottling up one's unhappiness may play a part in giving those people a chip on their shoulder, which they often do through no fault of their own. I think you're quite right about the celebrity world being an escape mechanism.

I don't really have a problem with these people, despite all that I've said. What I do mind is being surrounded by them and not having access to a better quality of people.

What did you think of the area around swanage? Have you ever been to Lulworth cove or Durdle Door? Dorset in general is a friendly county, in that in the countryside people will say hello and have conversations with you, just as you describe rural areas. Weymouth is the exception. It gets horrendously busy in summer and there's mostly one type of holiday maker; namely the tattooed, beer-bellied, football-shirt-donning, u know the theme. I don't mean to sound negative, just sick to death of the place. By all means, go on holiday to Dorset, but avoid Weymouth like the plague!

What's it like where you are at the moment? Do you get to meet a wide variety of people?

How's the weather been where you are?

Oh, and btw, on the topic of working class culture, see what you think of this article.
[http://www.vexen.co.uk/UK/trashculture.html][/url]
BellaRuth
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Post by BellaRuth »

mattyman wrote:You're probably right about the expectations from others influencing peoples behaviour. I think that in those working class areas parents don't foster good values in children. I don't think that basic standards of human decency, let alone feminine behaviour in girls is encouraged. I also think that peer-pressure, not parents is what brings up a lot of those, principally working class people. From what I've witnessed of those types of people, I get the impression that a lot of parents simply don't care, they don't instill a sense of belonging and of nurture. I also don't think that qualities of kindness, humility etc. are encouraged or expected at all, in fact, they can even be seen as a sign of weakness.

May I also add, that pub culture and football probably play a large part in bringing up people in those areas. Unfortunately these people probably have nothing better to do, they probably work every hour god sends and are probably very unhappy, this might explain the cycle of binge drinking. Also, there is this culture of not talking to others about one's problems, for fear of being seen as 'weak'.
100%.

I moved schools at 14 to a really rough school. The biggest compliment a kid there could give to another was that they were 'hard' (tough). The worst thing you could be was not 'hard'. I look like a little blonde fairy so I wasn't going to fit in there with all the butch tattooed girls, haha. You had to look like you didn't care about your appearance, that you could win a fight, and doing drugs/getting drunk was pretty much necessary for social survival. I'm only glad I didn't grow up with that viewpoint, but needless to say the last 2 years of my education weren't the best time of my life. It was interesting, however, to compare how different upbringings affect people. You can't raise a nice feminine girl in that environment. At the same time you can't raise a thuggish girl in a more... cultured? environment.
What did you think of the area around swanage? Have you ever been to Lulworth cove or Durdle Door? Dorset in general is a friendly county, in that in the countryside people will say hello and have conversations with you, just as you describe rural areas. Weymouth is the exception. It gets horrendously busy in summer and there's mostly one type of holiday maker; namely the tattooed, beer-bellied, football-shirt-donning, u know the theme. I don't mean to sound negative, just sick to death of the place. By all means, go on holiday to Dorset, but avoid Weymouth like the plague!
I didn't see a great deal of Swanage but the countryside was lovely. I went by the white cliffs and walked down into the towns. Lost a stupid amount of money on those coin arcade machines :D People seemed very chatty and friendly.
What's it like where you are at the moment? Do you get to meet a wide variety of people?
I'm near Birmingham. I am at uni so do meet a wide variety of people, but all 'normal' nice types, not the rough'uns :) I struggled a great, great deal moving here from possibly the most rural place in England but now I love it here as there's so much going on.
How's the weather been where you are?
Haha, cold! I had to wear a proper winter coat today to see the fireworks. And gloves! Nightmare.
Oh, and btw, on the topic of working class culture, see what you think of this article.
[http://www.vexen.co.uk/UK/trashculture.html][/url]


Love iiit! I get so annoyed when these people drag down the name of the UK, especially on holidays abroad. It's nice to show that the 'trash culture' here is not inherent to everyone.

I think it portrays things far more extreme and exaggerated than they really are- but then again, maybe it depends on where you live.
mattyman
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Post by mattyman »

I moved schools at 14 to a really rough school. The biggest compliment a kid there could give to another was that they were 'hard' (tough). The worst thing you could be was not 'hard'. I look like a little blonde fairy so I wasn't going to fit in there with all the butch tattooed girls, haha. You had to look like you didn't care about your appearance, that you could win a fight, and doing drugs/getting drunk was pretty much necessary for social survival. I'm only glad I didn't grow up with that viewpoint, but needless to say the last 2 years of my education weren't the best time of my life. It was interesting, however, to compare how different upbringings affect people. You can't raise a nice feminine girl in that environment. At the same time you can't raise a thuggish girl in a more... cultured? environment.
Poor you. Bet you were over the moon when u left. It's not surprising these young chavvy people end up being aggressive, uncultured and having no social skills with those values shoved down their throats.

I went out bonfire night btw and it wasn't too cold. Saw two chav fights, nothing special in this town.

I get so annoyed when these people drag down the name of the UK, especially on holidays abroad. It's nice to show that the 'trash culture' here is not inherent to everyone.

I know what you mean. When I went to the Poitou Charentes region of France in August to stay with a friends relatives, their friend who's a self-employed builder told me a lot about the antics of these types of brits abroad. He told me about numerous occasions he had been in shops and cafes where these white trash louts would shout aggressively in english, not even saying bonjour! That must be so embarrassing.

I think the prevalence of the 'trash culture' talked about there really does depend on the circles you have to mix with. The article is exagerrated in places I know, but I think the guy must hae been angry when writing. I think that one's social surroundings do play a part in one's perception. Where I am at the moment has probably has a large influence on my own perception.
I'm near Birmingham. I am at uni so do meet a wide variety of people, but all 'normal' nice types, not the rough'uns I struggled a great, great deal moving here from possibly the most rural place in England but now I love it here as there's so much going on.
I really do miss being in an academic environment I must admit. If you're out of college or uni it can be a damn uphill struggle to gain access to people on the same wavelength. Where I am at the moment I don't really have access to many decent people, beyond pubs and clubs, although I've recently started salsa dancing and volunteering for the btcv, they both seem reasonably nice bunches.

A lot of things I've tried to meet a better-than-chav grade of person have tended to attract a mainly older age group, so I do feel a bit stuck socially. Also where I am people do seem very very cliquey, much more so than at college and uni. I found the most socially open environment, where I could meet good quality people was the spanish course I did in Malaga last year. Most students there were from all over Europe, there was only one other british person on it besides me. I thouroughly enjoyed the whole experience. Through that, I can definitely say that some of the comparisons this website makes about better social environments about foreign people is absolutely true. I still occasionally keep in contact with some of the people I met there now. I would love to be in an environment like that again.

Unfortunately I was only there for a week before I had to get back to toiling the treadmill (that's the last full-time job I ever want to do!). At that job they didn't want anything to do with me socially. They all seemed incredibly judgemental and cliquey. Was quite a contrast.
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