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New Here and Wondering...

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New Here and Wondering...

Postby ExpeditionSailor » Sat Feb 05, 2011 6:47 pm

I'm new here and have spent a little time cruising around the site and the forums. Lots of interesting and good info here.

As for me, I'm 48, and separated. Left my wife about three and a half years ago for a whole host of reasons that are too involved to get into here. But suffice it to say that the end of the marriage was partially hastened by all the usual ills that seem to afflict North American women lately. About to finalize my divorce soon.

I'm ready to find someone new, but do you think I can get a date to save my life? Women here in Canada are snooty, stuck-up, and just like their American sisters, are unapproachable and do not make themselves available. If you don't look like Brad Pitt and clearly have money, they're not interested. And I find this ethic is also espoused by women who are themselves unattractive by conventional standards and have nothing to offer the top-drawer men they want, never mind the men they see as lower-caste. Put more simply, women in Canada are not only wildly unrealistic, but have a huge, huge entitlement complex. Feminism only reinforces the delusional thinking by teaching women that they are superior to men, and that the vast majority of men are, as someone else in the Happier Abroad forums put it, creeps, predators, proto-pedophiles, and losers.

I've made some forays into online dating, and that has been a resounding joke, not just because of the stratospheric standards women have, but because of the rampant fraud that so many dating sites engage in - fake profiles, fake flirts, fake e-mails - anything and everything to make their hapless male customers believe they're actually getting something for their money. To say nothing of the scammers who infest such sites, trying to prey on lonely guys like me who aren't getting any love.

I've come to the conclusion that most dating sites deliberately do this because any customer that succeeds - i.e. finds a real relationship, ceases to be a paying customer and is not likely to return. I now liken dating sites to a jukebox where you have to keep sticking in quarters to keep playing music that doesn't play, and you're trying to hear just one song.

For the time being, or at least until I figure out where I want to go, I'm going to go out in the wild, into real life and see what kind of women are out there in places where women hang out. I'm not confident that I'll succeed. My mostly negative experiences in the romantic arena recently have damaged my self-esteem - and there are many days where I seriously wonder if I'm so ugly that no woman, foreign or domestic, would ever truly want me.

I have tried a couple of international dating sites. On Cherry Blossoms, I nearly had to beat the women off with a stick. I had to break things off and step back for a while because I'm not yet financially ready to travel to the Phillippines or anywhere else that matter, and I have some doubts relating to religion (I'm not observant of any religion), Philippine culture and a few other things.

I've also jumped on the Happier Abroad personals site, and am getting a few nibbles, but nothing substantive.

I like the idea of trying to find a foreign woman, but have doubts. Would I actually find someone who would truly love me, or is it going to be a situation where women appear to find me attractive because they're thinking "rich Westerner can lift me out of my poverty, and the local boys can't", even if they're not necessarily looking for the proverbial 'green card'? I would like to be loved for me, not what's in my wallet, and while it's not an unreasonable for a woman to want a man who can offer some degree of financial stability, I've seen far too many women who look at men as walking bank machines and nothing more.

Finally, I'm finding myself going very sour on North American culture. It's vapid and encourages trash. It also encourages philistine behaviour and assholism. If you don't drink, don't do drugs, don't like to party, don't like getting tattoos, or are just different or brighter than average, people seem to avoid you like the plague or treat you like a pariah. Plus, where I live, the 'tall poppy' syndrome is alive and well. If you exhibit even a smidgen of smarts or talent, people will do all they can to cut you down or even block you. In general I find that getting ahead has less to do with raw talent and more to do with the connections you have. If you're ugly, like me, people will not help you, nor will they take you seriously.

Increasingly, I'm finding that Canada has less and less to offer me. I have no close family left; both parents are dead, my sister hates me, and more distant relatives don't want much to do with me - if anything, it's the token once yearly invite to Xmas dinner, and the rest of the year I'm ignored.

In short, I need a breath of fresh air and to get out of the rut I'm in, and wondering if going expat is the way to solve some of my problems and even find real love. I hope that I'll find some of the answers I seek here...
ExpeditionSailor
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Postby jamesbond » Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:27 pm

Welcome ExpeditionSailor. I have heard other guys from Canada say the same things you have. That the women there are just like American women, unfriendly, anti-social, paranoid of men and feminists.

I think a trip to a more "man friendly" country would be a good idea (Philippines, eastern Europe, Russia and Brazil). In the meantime, just remember, there is nothing wrong with you, it's the culture you live in. No where else in the world are women so standoffish than in the UK, the US, Canada, Austrailia or New Zealand. In these "anglo" countries, feminism exists and therefore horrible women exist as well! :D
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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Re: New Here and Wondering...

Postby rome86 » Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:18 pm

ExpeditionSailor wrote:I'm new here and have spent a little time cruising around the site and the forums. Lots of interesting and good info here.

As for me, I'm 48, and separated. Left my wife about three and a half years ago for a whole host of reasons that are too involved to get into here. But suffice it to say that the end of the marriage was partially hastened by all the usual ills that seem to afflict North American women lately. About to finalize my divorce soon.

I'm ready to find someone new, but do you think I can get a date to save my life? Women here in Canada are snooty, stuck-up, and just like their American sisters, are unapproachable and do not make themselves available. If you don't look like Brad Pitt and clearly have money, they're not interested. And I find this ethic is also espoused by women who are themselves unattractive by conventional standards and have nothing to offer the top-drawer men they want, never mind the men they see as lower-caste. Put more simply, women in Canada are not only wildly unrealistic, but have a huge, huge entitlement complex. Feminism only reinforces the delusional thinking by teaching women that they are superior to men, and that the vast majority of men are, as someone else in the Happier Abroad forums put it, creeps, predators, proto-pedophiles, and losers.

I've made some forays into online dating, and that has been a resounding joke, not just because of the stratospheric standards women have, but because of the rampant fraud that so many dating sites engage in - fake profiles, fake flirts, fake e-mails - anything and everything to make their hapless male customers believe they're actually getting something for their money. To say nothing of the scammers who infest such sites, trying to prey on lonely guys like me who aren't getting any love.

I've come to the conclusion that most dating sites deliberately do this because any customer that succeeds - i.e. finds a real relationship, ceases to be a paying customer and is not likely to return. I now liken dating sites to a jukebox where you have to keep sticking in quarters to keep playing music that doesn't play, and you're trying to hear just one song.

For the time being, or at least until I figure out where I want to go, I'm going to go out in the wild, into real life and see what kind of women are out there in places where women hang out. I'm not confident that I'll succeed. My mostly negative experiences in the romantic arena recently have damaged my self-esteem - and there are many days where I seriously wonder if I'm so ugly that no woman, foreign or domestic, would ever truly want me.

I have tried a couple of international dating sites. On Cherry Blossoms, I nearly had to beat the women off with a stick. I had to break things off and step back for a while because I'm not yet financially ready to travel to the Phillippines or anywhere else that matter, and I have some doubts relating to religion (I'm not observant of any religion), Philippine culture and a few other things.

I've also jumped on the Happier Abroad personals site, and am getting a few nibbles, but nothing substantive.

I like the idea of trying to find a foreign woman, but have doubts. Would I actually find someone who would truly love me, or is it going to be a situation where women appear to find me attractive because they're thinking "rich Westerner can lift me out of my poverty, and the local boys can't", even if they're not necessarily looking for the proverbial 'green card'? I would like to be loved for me, not what's in my wallet, and while it's not an unreasonable for a woman to want a man who can offer some degree of financial stability, I've seen far too many women who look at men as walking bank machines and nothing more.

Finally, I'm finding myself going very sour on North American culture. It's vapid and encourages trash. It also encourages philistine behaviour and assholism. If you don't drink, don't do drugs, don't like to party, don't like getting tattoos, or are just different or brighter than average, people seem to avoid you like the plague or treat you like a pariah. Plus, where I live, the 'tall poppy' syndrome is alive and well. If you exhibit even a smidgen of smarts or talent, people will do all they can to cut you down or even block you. In general I find that getting ahead has less to do with raw talent and more to do with the connections you have. If you're ugly, like me, people will not help you, nor will they take you seriously.

Increasingly, I'm finding that Canada has less and less to offer me. I have no close family left; both parents are dead, my sister hates me, and more distant relatives don't want much to do with me - if anything, it's the token once yearly invite to Xmas dinner, and the rest of the year I'm ignored.

In short, I need a breath of fresh air and to get out of the rut I'm in, and wondering if going expat is the way to solve some of my problems and even find real love. I hope that I'll find some of the answers I seek here...


welcome Expeditionsailor
does that apply to quebec as well ? because I had the impression that quebec was better than english canada. Anyway on this forum you will receive all the advices you need. good luck
hello
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Postby djfourmoney » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:41 am

jamesbond wrote:Welcome ExpeditionSailor. I have heard other guys from Canada say the same things you have. That the women there are just like American women, unfriendly, anti-social, paranoid of men and feminists.

I think a trip to a more "man friendly" country would be a good idea (Philippines, eastern Europe, Russia and Brazil). In the meantime, just remember, there is nothing wrong with you, it's the culture you live in. No where else in the world are women so standoffish than in the UK, the US, Canada, Austrailia or New Zealand. In these "anglo" countries, feminism exists and therefore horrible women exist as well! :D


There is also no industry to setup Western Women with Men from other countries. Men in other countries rather deal with their own women, that's just how bad they are.

ES don't feel bad, it is Western Culture its not you.

If you're own family wants nothing to do with you, nothing like making your own family start with a wife that loves you to death.
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Re: New Here and Wondering...

Postby Rock » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:33 pm

ExpeditionSailor wrote:I'm new here and have spent a little time cruising around the site and the forums. Lots of interesting and good info here.

As for me, I'm 48, and separated. Left my wife about three and a half years ago for a whole host of reasons that are too involved to get into here. But suffice it to say that the end of the marriage was partially hastened by all the usual ills that seem to afflict North American women lately. About to finalize my divorce soon.

I'm ready to find someone new, but do you think I can get a date to save my life? Women here in Canada are snooty, stuck-up, and just like their American sisters, are unapproachable and do not make themselves available. If you don't look like Brad Pitt and clearly have money, they're not interested. And I find this ethic is also espoused by women who are themselves unattractive by conventional standards and have nothing to offer the top-drawer men they want, never mind the men they see as lower-caste. Put more simply, women in Canada are not only wildly unrealistic, but have a huge, huge entitlement complex. Feminism only reinforces the delusional thinking by teaching women that they are superior to men, and that the vast majority of men are, as someone else in the Happier Abroad forums put it, creeps, predators, proto-pedophiles, and losers.

I've made some forays into online dating, and that has been a resounding joke, not just because of the stratospheric standards women have, but because of the rampant fraud that so many dating sites engage in - fake profiles, fake flirts, fake e-mails - anything and everything to make their hapless male customers believe they're actually getting something for their money. To say nothing of the scammers who infest such sites, trying to prey on lonely guys like me who aren't getting any love.

I've come to the conclusion that most dating sites deliberately do this because any customer that succeeds - i.e. finds a real relationship, ceases to be a paying customer and is not likely to return. I now liken dating sites to a jukebox where you have to keep sticking in quarters to keep playing music that doesn't play, and you're trying to hear just one song.

For the time being, or at least until I figure out where I want to go, I'm going to go out in the wild, into real life and see what kind of women are out there in places where women hang out. I'm not confident that I'll succeed. My mostly negative experiences in the romantic arena recently have damaged my self-esteem - and there are many days where I seriously wonder if I'm so ugly that no woman, foreign or domestic, would ever truly want me.

I have tried a couple of international dating sites. On Cherry Blossoms, I nearly had to beat the women off with a stick. I had to break things off and step back for a while because I'm not yet financially ready to travel to the Phillippines or anywhere else that matter, and I have some doubts relating to religion (I'm not observant of any religion), Philippine culture and a few other things.

I've also jumped on the Happier Abroad personals site, and am getting a few nibbles, but nothing substantive.

I like the idea of trying to find a foreign woman, but have doubts. Would I actually find someone who would truly love me, or is it going to be a situation where women appear to find me attractive because they're thinking "rich Westerner can lift me out of my poverty, and the local boys can't", even if they're not necessarily looking for the proverbial 'green card'? I would like to be loved for me, not what's in my wallet, and while it's not an unreasonable for a woman to want a man who can offer some degree of financial stability, I've seen far too many women who look at men as walking bank machines and nothing more.

Finally, I'm finding myself going very sour on North American culture. It's vapid and encourages trash. It also encourages philistine behaviour and assholism. If you don't drink, don't do drugs, don't like to party, don't like getting tattoos, or are just different or brighter than average, people seem to avoid you like the plague or treat you like a pariah. Plus, where I live, the 'tall poppy' syndrome is alive and well. If you exhibit even a smidgen of smarts or talent, people will do all they can to cut you down or even block you. In general I find that getting ahead has less to do with raw talent and more to do with the connections you have. If you're ugly, like me, people will not help you, nor will they take you seriously.

Increasingly, I'm finding that Canada has less and less to offer me. I have no close family left; both parents are dead, my sister hates me, and more distant relatives don't want much to do with me - if anything, it's the token once yearly invite to Xmas dinner, and the rest of the year I'm ignored.

In short, I need a breath of fresh air and to get out of the rut I'm in, and wondering if going expat is the way to solve some of my problems and even find real love. I hope that I'll find some of the answers I seek here...


There's a lot to hope for you. You are at the bottom. But you have to figure out what you want more specifically - lifestyle, dating, and partner wise. Then members on this forum are better equipped to advise you.

For starters, in all the countries, I've dated in, I've generally been able to see these girls for what they were within a few dates - gold diggers, players, or serious and sincere. I could also gauge fairly well their level of attachment to me. When you spend a lot of time with someone, its almost impossible to always hide yourself. Your body language and reflexes will give you away to the people who are tuned in. Its up to you to observe your prospects carefully and detect patterns and other non-verbal or semi-verbal cues during your interactions with them. When they throw tests at you, be cool and see how it plays out. And there are some tests you can throw at them too which can often speed up the discovery process.

If a girl really likes you early in the game, she may practically fall into our lap. Those are the easy cases. If a girl is considering you but not sure (more common), then she needs a bit of time to figure out your personality to decide. Best policy, is to be a very attractive version of yourself. Don't pretend to be something that you're not. But get used to acting like a man again. Unlearn all that crap you picked-up in Anglo feminist hellhole. It takes time.

There will be more to say if and when you decide what you're going for and spell it out on this board. Best.
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Postby dsc » Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:42 pm

Welcome. I'm in Canada also and concur with what you say.

I had to look up the 'tall poppy syndrome'. I'm glad I did as I've had this happen very often in my life.

I no longer let on how intelligent I really am in the workforce (and humble too apparently :P ) or like you indicate there's just some SOB waiting to try to knock you back down.

I'm not a huge poster here, but I've been reading lots lately.

You're in good hands with the forum advisors here.
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Re: New Here and Wondering...

Postby ExpeditionSailor » Wed Feb 09, 2011 4:28 am

Rock wrote:
ExpeditionSailor wrote:I'm new here and have spent a little time cruising around the site and the forums. Lots of interesting and good info here.

As for me, I'm 48, and separated. Left my wife about three and a half years ago for a whole host of reasons that are too involved to get into here. But suffice it to say that the end of the marriage was partially hastened by all the usual ills that seem to afflict North American women lately. About to finalize my divorce soon.

I'm ready to find someone new, but do you think I can get a date to save my life? Women here in Canada are snooty, stuck-up, and just like their American sisters, are unapproachable and do not make themselves available. If you don't look like Brad Pitt and clearly have money, they're not interested. And I find this ethic is also espoused by women who are themselves unattractive by conventional standards and have nothing to offer the top-drawer men they want, never mind the men they see as lower-caste. Put more simply, women in Canada are not only wildly unrealistic, but have a huge, huge entitlement complex. Feminism only reinforces the delusional thinking by teaching women that they are superior to men, and that the vast majority of men are, as someone else in the Happier Abroad forums put it, creeps, predators, proto-pedophiles, and losers...

<snipped for brevity's sake>

In short, I need a breath of fresh air and to get out of the rut I'm in, and wondering if going expat is the way to solve some of my problems and even find real love. I hope that I'll find some of the answers I seek here...



There's a lot to hope for you. You are at the bottom. But you have to figure out what you want more specifically - lifestyle, dating, and partner wise. Then members on this forum are better equipped to advise you.


Well, this is what I'm trying to figure out now. I'm not sure I want to get married again. But I'm not sure if that is due to having a bad experience with my first marriage, whether I'm just not the marrying kind and haven't really explored my personality deeply enough to confirm whether that is in fact the case. I do like a certain amount of freedom, and can handle some solitude, but I do get lonely, and I recognize that marriage cannot solve the issue of loneliness. If I ever did get married again, it would have to be to someone very special, someone who loves me very much for me, and not what I provide. And I would have to marry and live with that woman in a country that is friendly to men, and doesn't have so-called 'family' courts that do their best to viciously strip men of everything they have, their freedom, and sometimes even their lives in the name of placating radical feminists.

For starters, in all the countries, I've dated in, I've generally been able to see these girls for what they were within a few dates - gold diggers, players, or serious and sincere. I could also gauge fairly well their level of attachment to me. When you spend a lot of time with someone, its almost impossible to always hide yourself. Your body language and reflexes will give you away to the people who are tuned in. Its up to you to observe your prospects carefully and detect patterns and other non-verbal or semi-verbal cues during your interactions with them. When they throw tests at you, be cool and see how it plays out. And there are some tests you can throw at them too which can often speed up the discovery process.


You raise some interesting points here. In the West, it's much harder to assess intentions because women in the West, especially North America, do not signal their intentions at all. They don't make themselves available to men, nor do they encourage men with signs of interest when they do approach. That said, the gold-diggers are usually fairly easy to spot in Western countries... the vibes they send out are usually quite palpable.

If a girl really likes you early in the game, she may practically fall into our lap. Those are the easy cases. If a girl is considering you but not sure (more common), then she needs a bit of time to figure out your personality to decide. Best policy, is to be a very attractive version of yourself. Don't pretend to be something that you're not. But get used to acting like a man again. Unlearn all that crap you picked-up in Anglo feminist hellhole. It takes time.


Well, I wouldn't have trouble being myself, because I find it damned hard to maintain the facade of being someone I'm not. Like Popeye once said, "I yam what I yam."

There will be more to say if and when you decide what you're going for and spell it out on this board. Best.


And that will take some time. It's a little scary, too, the prospect of ditching everything you've ever known (good and bad) and pulling up stakes to go somewhere new. But I realize that life is a full-contact sport, and there are no guarantees. And I've also come to realize that there are no prizes for living on your knees.
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Postby keius » Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:48 am

I'd just go with what Rock said. Jump into the wild if that's your inclination. It can't possibly be worse than where you're at now. Just make sure to protect yourself and don't do anything stupid. And yeah, marriage probably wouldn't suit you at this point. I'd expat, relax, enjoy yourself, and if something good falls into your lap, then you can really think about it. That's what happened to me. I had ZERO intention of ever
getting married. I disliked kids and planned to be a bachelor for life.

You might think of touring Asia for a bit and see which area's really appeal to you. If your financially secure, then you've got alot of freedom and options that alot of us on this site don't have.
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Postby ExpeditionSailor » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:00 am

keius wrote:I'd just go with what Rock said. Jump into the wild if that's your inclination. It can't possibly be worse than where you're at now. Just make sure to protect yourself and don't do anything stupid. And yeah, marriage probably wouldn't suit you at this point. I'd expat, relax, enjoy yourself, and if something good falls into your lap, then you can really think about it. That's what happened to me. I had ZERO intention of ever
getting married. I disliked kids and planned to be a bachelor for life.

You might think of touring Asia for a bit and see which area's really appeal to you. If your financially secure, then you've got alot of freedom and options that alot of us on this site don't have.


Well, that's just my problem- I'm not financially secure. I'm 48, and that means I would have to win a lottery, get very lucky, or find some way to accomplish the Herculean task of becoming financially independent. When I retire at 60, I will be much closer to being financially independent, since I will be collecting several government pensions that would be enough to afford a decent lifestyle in the Philippines or Thailand. And that would be available even if I quit my job tomorrow. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to collect that money now, so if I took the plunge and went expat, I would need to find a job that would pay me enough to live and have a half-decent lifestyle AND save up for retirement.

So that said, touring Asia is not really in the cards. A one-off visit to one country followed by another visit when more money comes available, might be more feasible.
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Postby ladislav » Thu Feb 10, 2011 3:02 am

You are ripe for the Philippines.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
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Postby odbo » Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:29 am

Philippines seems like Samuel Adams beer .. 'always a good decision'
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