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Hello Everyone and Greetings from Germany,
This is the first time I've posted to this forum, however, I've been following Winston and this website for the past 10 years or so. Reading with an open mind, yet cautious about many things and advice.
Great website by the way, Winston! And to all of the advisor team members as well...
Anyways, to start off, I'm just seeking some advice and opinions.
Let me introduce myself: I'm a 36 y/o Asian male, 5'4". Decently attractive according to female friends...but who knows...Originally from southern California. Went to USC for undergrad. Left calif 12 years ago to go to medical school in Michigan. Finished that in 2003 and have been practicing urological surgery for the US Air Force. Been serving for 7 years. I got assigned to Germany 1.5 years ago and have done tremendous amounts of traveling and have grown personally and professionally. Suffice it to say that it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Have traveled throughout Germany, been to France, UK, Swiss, Italy, Belgium, Luxembourg, Spain, recently Croatia. I consider my self highly educated, refined, love soft jazz, fine dining, softer side of life, sailing/yachting. Very financially successful and love my career. No where to go but up from here...however, the focus on career has put my relationship and personal life on the back burner for a long time. Had 3 previous relationships, with Asian and Caucasian women. Longest was 3 years to an ER doctor. She hated the traveling and only focused on making lots of money and thought I was wasting my potential to earn lots of money by not working in the civilian world. That relationship obviously could not survive when she found out I'm getting shipped overseas.
Now that I'm older, I find it extremely difficult to find quality women, at least in the states. The only ones interested in me are divorced women, overweight, or those with several children. I'm ok with the divorce women, but not with kids. I simply would like children of my own someday.
Anyways, I'm not a bar or clubbing kind of person, so it's very difficult for me to meet many women. Not sure of the quality of women in clubs anyways. Also, working long hours...etc.
Joined every US and international dating site known to mankind...most are scammers from Nigeria or Ukraine. Don't feel like going all the way to the Philippines and besides I like educated and refined women...
In fact, I was crazy enough to pay for premium level matchmaking services in New York for an annual fee of $15,000. Services cater to executives and movie stars...Been on 3 dates. Had to fly across the little Atlantic pond and stay at a hotel for every date. Dinner cost $500 for 2 people. Each date runs about $2-3000 for all travel expenses. Funny, the American girls (Asian and White) were all alike. They were ok, but nothing stood out. To be fair, my career and relocation often makes things hard for women also. I started noticing all of the little differences that all of you guys have been talking about on this website between American women and foreign women. Sometimes, I think ignorance is truly bliss...now getting tired of that service and may end up canceling my membership and just losing out on the money. Almost joined Chicago's premier matchmaking service for $100,000 a year...glad I didn't seeing how the NY experience went.
So, I found nothing serious until I joined the Happierabroad.personals site.
Met a Russian girl from Saratov named Victoria. Lives with her mother. Parents divorced a while back. She is 34 y/o. Single. No kids. Has one sister/married living in Spain. Doesn't keep in touch very often. Very nice and lovely girl. Attractive blonde but not supermodel or anything like that. Been in 3 previous relationships but none wanted to have children or a family. She apparently does very badly. She doesn't speak english at all. Uses a translator. We have been communicating on skype nightly for about 8 months and last week we met in Dubrovnik, Croatia. My idea and I have no problem paying for her entire trip. I trusted her enough from our communication. She had to travel for 24 hours to meet me, but she did anyways. I appreciated that effort...
Very nice time, but the translation device made things a lot more difficult than online. Felt awkward at times sitting in silence or hotel staff and waiters wondering how we ever met. Felt like I "bought" her online. Not true....she responded to my ad. Anyways, very feminine and soft girl, but I had a real hard time reading her eyes and gestures since we couldn't communicate in english. Closed/shy and distant at first. However, she provided absolutely the best sexual encounter I've ever had...in my limited experience. Essentially daily for hours on end. Very loving touches and gentle kisses. Felt like a new baby in a loving mother's arms. I never expected her to do that nor did I need her to. I simply wanted to get to know her better. She opened up as the week went on and became more openly/publicly loving. She actually appeared very sad at the Frankfurt airport as we said our goodbyes and had to go our separate ways. I guess that is a good sign.
Now I'm worried about trust issues and whether she really is interested in me for who I am or simply for ulterior motives. I guess I have all the time in the world to wait and meet her further in Europe. Or until she gets tired or approaches menopause then she may force me to make a decision. Will time tell me more about her? Sex on the first encounter for a supposedly "conservative"/"good girl?" Hmm, cultural thing or inconsistencies about her personality?
What about all of the negative stats on marriage to Russian women? I don't consider myself a lucky guy. If anything, the odds are always against me. Am I lucky here or is this going to be a future nightmare?
Thanks everybody for your opinions and advice.
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Hello Peter, welcome to the forum! It sounds like you have traveled to a lot of countries so far, anyone in particular you like more than the others? I would think women would be throwing themselves at you since you are a doctor!
Like you, I have also heard of the negative stats on marriage to Russian women. I would think marriage to an American women would be even worse!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
Good Evening Mr. Bond, Mr. James Bond...
Love your picture there....
Yes I have traveled to many countries. My favorite so far is Swiss. Very beautiful mountains and peaceful place. As for the women, well I wish I could tell you more about the women in each of these countries, but I'm not the partying type so I don't hang out in many of the nightclubs and bars. I like the finer things in life and quality conversations with good women. Unfortunately, they're hard to find no matter what country you're in.
I do have to say that in general, I think foreign women are more down-to-earth and approachable than American women. Potentially are better wives also. I'm not here to bad-mouthed American women. I just think people are different based on culture and life/societal exposure. Unfortunately, American men have the short end of the stick.
As for the doctor thing....most people have it wrong. Unless you look like George Clooney, being a doctor doesn't really get you any more women than any other normal guy with a normal job. I think it gets your foot in the door with women and gives you a chance. It certainly matters when you consider joining premier lever matchmaking services, because they do seem to focus a lot on your status and financial situation. But again, I think you are potentially attracting the wrong kinds of women in that environment. (The American women environment...whether Asian or White)
I'm only looking for the one right woman. I always feel abnormal for being single at this age and at my level of success and when all of my friends are married with kids. Coworkers and family always ask about my marriage prospects too. Now that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy has been repealed, I have to work harder to make sure people don't think I'm gay.
After having lived overseas, I guess foreign is the better choice of the two. Russian women stats are not great either, but probably in the overall scheme of things, it's still better than being married to an American woman?
Welcome to the forum. Boy you sound like a high roller. 15k USD for a dating service? Wow what a ripoff. You could have just used one of the online dating sites at http://www.happierabroad.com/dating.htm
So how many women did you meet through my co-branded personals site? Have you tried AFA yet? They have a good reputation.
Are you only interested in white women? What about Asian?
How are the women in Germany? Do you find them pretty approachable, friendly and down-to-earth?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Yes I am when it comes to family and marriage. I believe in it and believe that no amount of money should be spared for the perfect family. Call me old fashion...unfortunately, no guarantees when it comes to dating and marriage, no matter how much money you spend.
I'm very similar to you in terms of personality. I'm a pretty liberal asian guy, not quite as liberal as you, but I believe in taking a different path in life, because that is where the adventure lies.
I have used most of your online dating sites such as cherry blossoms, all the "cupid" sites...etc. Yes, I have tons of responses but I don't find the women attractive in personality or looks sometimes especially the Filipino ones...besides the voice/accent seems to grate on my ears...
This Victoria girl from Saratov was the only one that worked out so far and the only one I was willing to meet since we can can meet more easily somewhere in Europe. I don't feel like flying all the way to the Philippines...
AFA looks good too, but haven't resorted to them yet...and don't know much about Latin American women, but might be something to consider someday.
I'm interested in either white or asian women...
The women in Germany are a little more approachable than in the US, but overall I don't think Germans are as open-minded as the Brits. Germans are very stoic people. Younger people tend to be open-minded and most will speak some english. I've dated 3 german girls. One I met from e-harmony prior to my arrival here. We are now practically best friends but I have no chemistry for her. She's a little overweight and that turns me off, unfortunately. Trying not to be superficial, but can't help myself.
What does that mean anyway? Anything special?
Thanks! I'm proud to serve and love my job! Love America too, just truly sad to see the problems that America is going thru. We as Americans don't realize how good we have until you have lived overseas...
I'm really looking for the right girl to be my wife...of course girlfriend first then go from there.
The nickname is an old joke. Momo = peach in Japanese, if you read "pi" as "p" or "pe" it means little. If you read "pi" as "pie" then it becomes peach pie. Momo in Chinese means steamed buns (饃饃), in Tibet and Nepal it means dumplings.
Have you considered visiting Vietnam?
That's a grand and noble ambition. My wife has been one of the greatest finds I could imagine. I had traveled to about 20 countries before I decided I wanted to marry someone who wasn't an American. I totally understand your story.
First, you are correct that the European ladies from the Western cultures are the same as here. Second, I feel that the online dating sites are one of the greatest poisons to sincere connections. It is fraught with deceit. You can read my rant about letter-writing in the other forum section: Love, Dating, and Foreign Women.
So what is the best way to meet them? Forget writing. You need to be able to interact with a lot of prospects in a way that is comfortable and natural. The best would be by living in Ukraine for a few months. That's not practical for most. What I did was go on an introduction tour. The system has its flaws, but it increases chances for meeting more prospects.
I'm one of the Advisors here. We're taking 20 guys with us to Ukraine to meet ladies who are serious about marriage as well. It's a great schedule covering 8 days. We're trying to re-invent a system that needs re-inventing. We're trying to create opportunities for connecting in several different formats to create comfortable and fun environments for every personality type - most sincere folks aren't into the bar scene, as you described. A doctor from Las Vegas is joining us as well.
At any rate, it appears that you have no problem trying different approaches. I think this is a very pragmatic approach that is geared toward success. We even guarantee it or the next trip is free.
From Anaheim, CA? Small world...not a great place to meet quality women from what I've experienced and heard...especially in all the OC area.
Anyways, thanks for the advice and offer. I'm not sure if I'm quite willing to go down that path yet...will certainly keep you in mind.
BTW, sorry to hear about your interview with Dr. Phil. When you guys made that announcement I knew that it was going to be a disaster. Still after ratings and headed towards the Jerry Springer type...besides, IMO he's not a real doctor. He needs to stop calling himself that! The show caters to feminist women. Oprah got him to where he is today. He would of never gotten a show without her help.
He needs to go up against people like me, I'll out debate, out-status him any day! Sorry, I'm ranting but I can't stand people like him....
Thanks for continuing the movement! Battle was lost there, but the war is long and I'm confident that your movement will prevail in the end. As technology makes the world smaller, people will learn more about it and begin to wake up and see the differences.
007, being a doctor doesn't improve your luck much. I know a doctor that finished up his first couple of years at UC Irvine Medical Center. He is a good looking White Guy and his luck isn't any better, trust me. He was still in the middle of paying off his school loans but was still hooking up is Evo 8... Any who, the Women are just as nuts if not worst, if you can imagine that.
I will basically agree with Mark that Women from Western Culture are generally pretty bad and I liken it to picking the lesser of two or three evils. However the decline in America is much more serious. You can still find women in much of Europe, even Canada and its not quite needle in a haystack but it might as well be with your over 30..
you sound like a helluva nice guy & very wealthy. that my friend is a horrible combination in today's marriage world.
why would you roll the dice on throwing away 70%+ of your wealth and potential earnings to a wife who is a false domestic violence charge away from divorcing you and getting most of your assets?
most woman (even high quality foreign woman) are court savvy and will work the divorce industry to separate a man from his wealth when she so chooses.
If i were in your shoes, i would focus on my career, travel, hobbies and pay for top shelf model escorts when i was in the mood.
dont let your kindness and willingness to be a good husband blind you to the true hazardous disadvantage reality that is marriage in this day and age.
bottom line, todays marriage = minimum payoff and fairness for men and maximum risk of financial ruin.
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
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