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Discuss international visas, immigration and citizenship issues.
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
I'm an illegal alien everytime I return from a LatAm country, but I'm a hi-yellow n****r through the ADHD beer googles of most Americans and most people whom are US residents (non-citizens).
Yup. That said a mouthful. You'll find out momentarily.
So I just came back from Colombia; I was there for a week. The women are becoming curvier/thicker. El Dorado (Bogota's airport) is getting its act together! It's looking very posh now. In 2009, it didn't look as such. I'm impressed.
Upon coming back from Colombia, I arrived at IAH (George Bush International Airport).
So I was marked as an "X" after some retina-facial scanning; I had been directed to stand on "this line" [to wait to be f.ucked with].
There were three Colombians and I on that line; those three all looked like they couldn't speak a lick of English.
So eventually, I had been called up. I spoke to the first, immigration officer that looked like he had been starring in 1987's Hollywood hit "La Bamba". How's that for "EOE/affirmative action"?? His parents and/or he probably had "immigrated" to the U.S. of Gay, but I digress. :-/
He asked me why I was in Colombia. I said, "to pasear..to just take it lightly [which means to have a vacation and just chill and kick back]. I don't date American women and I date across seas. I'm an American, and it's my right to travel is it not?"
He ignored me and kept looking at the screen like the automaton that he is.
He finally makred a big old "C" which means "check 'em out" I assume. He thought he was slick in that he drew it almost as a "0"/zero. He had the audacity to say "have a nice day" which again means f.uck-all in the U.S. of Gay.
I only had my backpack on me. It looks very mochilero/backpacker ish so I guess they didn't like that look.
They opened up the belt strap part of the line to let me into X-Rays which I was pointed at so I had to be first one to be screwed with in this way for the morning.
Another US immigration officer looking like George Lopez but lighter-skinned asked me "Why am I here?" "Which cities have you traveled to inside of Colombia?" (like that is his business). "Do you have any relatives in Bogota?" I said "I have no relatives there." All humble direct eye contact.
I said, "Do you know what? I travel there because I cannot stand American women. They are skanky and want to try to rape men in the courtroom"
He replied, "Have you been in trouble with the Law?"
He puts his gloves on and does his "reSEARCH".
He found a couple of my clothes in the bag. A two-bullet-wired vibrator, a dick-enlarger, and fake vagina hair with my iPad, android, & electric razor.
He kind of looked at me; I smiled.
My smiled opened up even more when some AW US immigration skank PUT THE GERMAN SHEPHERD ON ME AND MY BAG AND THROUGHLY SNIFFED ME OUT.
What type of s.hit is that?
When the dog finished going through it, it didn't get anything. I said, "Sin exito de lo colosal" which means "epic fail"
Then get this: he asked me for my DRIVER'S LICENCE!!!!! Where I work and my perm address. I never had that happen to me.
He asked me, "What other countries have you been to?"
"Dominican Republic twice in May"
"Because Dominican women are hot"
Dude gave up when he couldn't detain me on anything else any longer.
"Here. Have a nice day"...why he gave me my documents back and I had to pack up my shit myself after my bag became disheveled.
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
- Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
Sounds like you've got some balls, E. I would never try that. It's all hopeless trying to communicate with drones, so I'd just rather smile, be friendly, and be on my merry way.
Make the most of going abroad while you still can.
Irizarry thanks for reminding me why I left.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."