Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.
8 posts • Page 1 of 1
It's my first time posting here so I apologize if this is the wrong forum. Anyways, I'm a 22 year old white guy from the states, and I'm 5'6". As some of you might imagine, I am by default "undateable" to 95% of girls in this country. While I have had some success with women throughout high school and college, the majority were asian girls (all of them around 5'2") and my encounters were few and far between. I know I have an attractive face (I've been told so numerous times), however it has been made hurtfully clear that because of my height I am to be excluded from the dating pool. Two particular things I've been told by women that are stuck in my head are "Its too bad, your height totally ruins you," and "If you were a foot taller you would actually be perfect." Yes, women have actually said that to my face as casually as you might say "Good morning".
Anyways, I was pretty depressed until I stumbled across this and similar other websites which give me hope that I may yet find success with women. I have seen several forums advising short men to travel to places like the Philippines and Thailand, and while I might visit countries on holiday, there are many first world amenities that I simply do not want to live without. As such, I have had my eye set on Japan. I have always been fascinated by the country, its history, and culture, and I've always found Japanese women attractive. That being said, I have also heard that the Japanese are taller than most westerners think. Will my height still be a disadvantage if I go to Japan? I understand there will be a language barrier, but based on the information I have provided, what amount of success do you think I can expect with the local women?
I apologize for the long post, and I appreciate that you took the time to read this.
I'm 5' 6" as well and bombed in Japan. The biggest problem was Japanese people are very group orientated and I was too much of an outsider for them. Oh and my game sucked, but it was dramatically improved after living in China for a while and going on one or two dates a week.
I did well in China but struggled in Thailand. Smart men are appreciated in China. No idea what Thai women want but they very much live in the present.
Pick a country and go live there, or at the very least start learning the language. Japanese is easy to pronounce but the grammar is tough and the written language very complex. I made good progress with Mandarin Chinese (got an HSK 2 certificate to prove it) but I can't say it's that easy. If you got the cash, go and sign up to a Chinese Uni and learn Mandarin for a year.
Come back and tell us how you get on.
I haven't been active on this board for at least a year but here are my two cents:
My buddy is 5'5" white guy and has dicked down (he claims) 40+ females and he's 26. He's not a bad looking guy, in shape, balding but shaves his head. The thing is some guys just have it. And I wouldn't say he is overly confident but doesn't shy away from females and regularly tries multiple avenues. Point is, if you can get use to rejection (I know its hard) playing the numbers game tends to work for most short guys and guys in general.
I suggest Philippines because that is what I know. I'm 5'9 190lbs and tend to stand at least 2 inches taller than most guys there though I have seen some 6 feet plus filipinos. I will say the younger population is getting taller but the average guys height there is roughly 5'4 - 5'5" with females around 5'. Most guys there don't weigh over 140lbs so if you are in shape and have some muscle you are already above average. Most of South East Asia has a relative short population. If you don't already, hit the gym hard. You can never go wrong with putting on some gains and giving you some confidence before seeking out new waters to explore.
You can always go to Japan and see for yourself but saying that Japanese people got taller . There will be Japanese men taller than you in your age range. I remember one Japanese guy I knew me told me that there is the two H's that Japanese girls look at. High income and high height..but again I would take this with a grain of salt.
I know guys in the states who were 5'6 but got girls. American girls. They worked harder but was able to get girls. I think at 22 years that's when most girls are pretty superficial . Which is a bummer . These young girls get burnt or realize looks are not everything and sometimes changes there standards but I think that's why some guys get bitter .
USA is a dating mess, most women do not know anymore what they really want.
For sure your height of 5'6" is not a disadvantage in Japan or other countries nearby for most women.
Yes, true, language might be an issue, but not that much now as it has been in the past.
There is some progress, but slow, among Japanese people to study how to use a foreign language.
Do not expect however that all Japanese women are so tiny, there are plenty of young people, both men and women now, who are of same height as you or even taller.
Okay. You said that you want to travel on holiday. If you were to stay in Japan long enough I imagine you would do all right. But a short holiday...well, we had better discuss what your plan is for meeting women. Do you know some already? Gonna crash an international party? Try your luck with the wide wonderful world of online dating? Cold approach them on the streets??
Having dates set up in advance with chicks you already know is by far your best option when available. Expect to have a percentage of these go nowhere because the girl was only ever interested in English practice, or because you made the common Westerner's mistake in reading more into Japanese politeness and smiles than the Japanese intended. If she has already met you and wants to again, then you know that she is okay with your height at least. If this option is even available.
International parties and the like are not the worst thing. There are some women who do go there to meet men, though they are outnumbered by the men (of all nationalities!) that go there to meet women, and the rest just want to make friends. More recommended for medium to long stays, for building up a social circle.
Online dating for men is an uphill battle anywhere. I've been trying Philippines online dating lately. It is better than America, but not by much.
Cold pickup, though at times too tantalizing to ignore, is the toughest option of all. I can tell you all about that if you wanna hear.
In my opinion Japan is not an easy place to get a date on holiday. How long will your holiday be?
I agree with you, not an easy place if you have no time and no connection to Japanese people yet.
Further, Japan is not a cheap place for living.
Many personal contacts here are built up slowly, often by introduction with the help of gossip from women to women, this is not really a problem at all if you are a foreigner working in any company, or you are a student etc. and you have time to wait it out.
Many Japanese are not good in foreign languages, keep this in mind and if you are not living in the large cities, but somewhere in a suburb or rural area etc. there are no women there, mostly are elderly people, and some young men, taking over the business from the parents.
There is an excellent travel report about Japan in this forum, he posted many pictures too, he was living outside of Tokyo, luckily already with an Asian wife (not Japanese) - dating possibility in his area was plainly ZERO.
Height will be a problem, but nothing a high income couldn't fix
Japan will be tough (but possible), and also expensive. If SE Asia is out of the question, what about China? I think you'd do a lot better there.