Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


my dilemma

Ask questions and get advice, or share advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following someone's advice here.
Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's already been addressed.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

my dilemma

Postby womanizer » Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:01 am

ok my name says it all.

But can a polyamorous guy (like me) eventually settle down with just one woman and be a family guy? Can it be done?

If you're a moralistic, judgmental, prudish asshole - you can f**k off.

Otherwise I'd like a nonjudgmental answer please.
womanizer
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:30 am







Postby odbo » Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:30 am

yes!! it's never too late to evolve past media programming and a reptilian brain state. even prostitutes and former sex slaves have said how when they fell in love with their future husband and had sex, it felt like the first time.

Image
odbo
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2171
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:40 pm

Postby Mr S » Tue Jun 07, 2011 8:48 am

odbo wrote:yes!! it's never too late to evolve past media programming and a reptilian brain state. even prostitutes and former sex slaves have said how when they fell in love with their future husband and had sex, it felt like the first time.

Image


Ha, great GIF!
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
User avatar
Mr S
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2311
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 10:57 am
Location: Physical Earth, 3rd Dimensional Plane

Postby ladislav » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:02 am

I am polyamorous as well and can't help it. Time for a Poly Pride parade!

I once fell in love with one woman and tried to be "normal" but after a couple of years I needed variety again.

The best thing for a poly guy is to have a main squeeze whom he supports and a few other lesser squeezes. Then it works. But the main thing is being able to afford them all, treat them all fairly, obtain their consent. and also to live in a place where it is not too frowned upon or is more or less tolerated. Joggling them all and running multiple "families" is not for the faint-hearted. And man, the money it costs! And a break up with one partner hurts just as bad even if she is one of several. So, it is a great thing if you have the money, the presence of calm and have secured their consent.

Converting to Islam and moving to Indonesia may be one solution.
Living in a red light district and having several rotating, renewable " loves" with bar girls/hookers is another.

If you think you can go mono ( which may be about as easy as for a gay person to be straight) try marrying someone who is very young and super attractive when you are older- an 18-20 year old lady will for a long time eclipse others and keep you busy. But what do you do later on? Hopefully you will be so old your libido will no longer need variety.

There are no easy answers, but generally, yes you can settle down, but you will just have to maintain one-two mistresses on the side and go visit an occasional pro. All of that is very expensive, time consuming and tiring. Not to mention not so easy if you are in a country where it is not easy to do.

The bottom line is this- polyamoury is expensive!
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3578
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:30 pm

Postby womanizer » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:05 pm

what pisses me off is that I could have been a happily married guy with kids by now if society didn't punish men for having a gf or 2 on the side. How does having a mistress or 2 prevent me from being a good provider for my family? or loving my wife? Lots of respectable guys have had affairs or flings but they never abandoned their families. If I were a husband I would make sure never to tell the wives or kids. Is that "immoral"? I think it shows how much I care about them.
womanizer
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:30 am

Postby E_Irizarry » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:26 pm

womanizer wrote:what pisses me off is that I could have been a happily married guy with kids by now if society didn't punish men for having a gf or 2 on the side. How does having a mistress or 2 prevent me from being a good provider for my family? or loving my wife? Lots of respectable guys have had affairs or flings but they never abandoned their families. If I were a husband I would make sure never to tell the wives or kids. Is that "immoral"? I think it shows how much I care about them.


Isn't that the truth!!!?
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
E_Irizarry
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2352
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:07 am
Location: The Corporation ( the U.S. of Gay )

Postby E_Irizarry » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:26 pm

ladislav wrote:I am polyamorous as well and can't help it. Time for a Poly Pride parade!

I once fell in love with one woman and tried to be "normal" but after a couple of years I needed variety again.

The best thing for a poly guy is to have a main squeeze whom he supports and a few other lesser squeezes. Then it works. But the main thing is being able to afford them all, treat them all fairly, obtain their consent. and also to live in a place where it is not too frowned upon or is more or less tolerated. Joggling them all and running multiple "families" is not for the faint-hearted. And man, the money it costs! And a break up with one partner hurts just as bad even if she is one of several. So, it is a great thing if you have the money, the presence of calm and have secured their consent.

Converting to Islam and moving to Indonesia may be one solution.
Living in a red light district and having several rotating, renewable " loves" with bar girls/hookers is another.

If you think you can go mono ( which may be about as easy as for a gay person to be straight) try marrying someone who is very young and super attractive when you are older- an 18-20 year old lady will for a long time eclipse others and keep you busy. But what do you do later on? Hopefully you will be so old your libido will no longer need variety.

There are no easy answers, but generally, yes you can settle down, but you will just have to maintain one-two mistresses on the side and go visit an occasional pro. All of that is very expensive, time consuming and tiring. Not to mention not so easy if you are in a country where it is not easy to do.

The bottom line is this- polyamoury is expensive!
....but feasible. :O)
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
E_Irizarry
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2352
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:07 am
Location: The Corporation ( the U.S. of Gay )

Postby Jackal » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:20 pm

womanizer wrote:what pisses me off is that I could have been a happily married guy with kids by now if society didn't punish men for having a gf or 2 on the side.

When you say "society," you mean "American society," right?

I think that Europeans in general are much more tolerant of married men having mistresses. America is in many ways almost like an Islamic country because of its ultra-strict, unwritten code of expected behavior--and perhaps this is why so many muslims really love living in America.

So pretty much as soon as you step out of America into a non-Muslim country, what you want to achieve should become easier (well, except for the language barrier).
Jackal
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1229
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:24 am
Location: Hungary

Postby ladislav » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:15 am

Thailand comes to mind and,also, Indonesia. I knew a Serbian guy who had 3 girls there. The Philippines has adultery laws, though - if you are legally married which can be invoked and you can be put in jail. But I don't think that can happen if you are not legally married.
Anyway, yes, you can do all that just make sure you have enough money- you are gonna be needing quite a bit and also, you will most definitely have to leave the US.
Also, you may consider converting to Islam and moving to a cheaper Muslim country. There you can have up to four wives. Much better than having mistresses.
Just make sure that you have enough cash. Cash is king because it makes you king.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3578
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:30 pm

Re: my dilemma

Postby Rock » Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:14 am

womanizer wrote:ok my name says it all.

But can a polyamorous guy (like me) eventually settle down with just one woman and be a family guy? Can it be done?

If you're a moralistic, judgmental, prudish asshole - you can f**k off.

Otherwise I'd like a nonjudgmental answer please.


Another possibility is to snag a girl that you are madly in lust and love with, someone who rates a 9 or 10 in your book when most of the girls you pull are 5-7s. If this applies to you and you are able to truly win over that nearly perfect woman, you may decide to voluntarily cease the side activities, especially as you age and your testosterone levels diminish. Thing is, it probably requires a conscious decision on your part. Gaming for quality is a very different strategy than gaming for just quantity and immediate gratification. It requires strong will power as you may suffer a long dry period during your search for the right one. And you will need to spread your net all over the world, especially countries with lots of women who fit you physical specs. You may need to work on languages too depending on what your target countries are. Good luck.
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4120
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby MrPeabody » Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:30 pm

It's not possible for you to change. The best you can do is be honest and find some arrangement that works. It should be possible in the third world Maybe you could find an ex hooker with children and move in. Then you would have a woman, children, and an honest relationship. The worst would be to lead on an innocent woman and then cheat on the side. For men who damage the innocent, karma will be brutal. If you are honest with yourself and other people, you can find a relationship that works.
MrPeabody
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:53 pm

Postby pete98146 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:24 pm

I agree with Ladislav in this case. Thailand would be an ideal country for you. Like many Thai men, they are quite happily married but have bar girls/mistresses on the side. But they are EXPERTS at keeping their extra curricular activities on the low down.

However, if you did move to Thailand, your biggest problem is trying to find a good Thai lady that is willing to marry you as they tend not to like western men. Not saying it can't be done but it would be an uphill battle.

Brazil is also a country where the business men sneak out to the "thermas" at lunch time to bang hot young girls. But at $100 a pop it would get expensive.

But back to your original question, it's hard to have your cake and eat it too. Just look at Winston if you need proof.

My suggestion is to not keep a full time gf, move to Thailand and play the field. But this is going to require $3000+ per month to pull off. Spend a few years in Bangkok and get it out of your system. If juggling women gets old, move to Phils and marry yourself a young hot momma.
User avatar
pete98146
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1077
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:31 pm

Postby ladislav » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:51 pm

The worst would be to lead on an innocent woman and then cheat on the side. For men who damage the innocent, karma will be brutal. If you are honest with yourself and other people, you can find a relationship that works


And that includes explaining to the innocent woman that you are a poly and can't help it and she needs to let you play on the side. Some will agree provided she will not see it. I guess in that case, karma will spare you.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3578
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:30 pm

Postby womanizer » Thu Jun 09, 2011 7:26 am

MrPeabody wrote: The worst would be to lead on an innocent woman and then cheat on the side.


To tell you the truth, I can think of a lot of worse things than me fooling around on the side.

Banging other women doesn't automatically mean I wouldn't love my wife anymore nor does it mean I would bail on my family. If I am still a good provider for my wife and kids and I don't abuse them, then what makes you believe I'm doing "the worst"?
womanizer
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:30 am

Postby E_Irizarry » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:47 pm

womanizer wrote:
MrPeabody wrote: The worst would be to lead on an innocent woman and then cheat on the side.


To tell you the truth, I can think of a lot of worse things than me fooling around on the side.

Banging other women doesn't automatically mean I wouldn't love my wife anymore nor does it mean I would bail on my family. If I am still a good provider for my wife and kids and I don't abuse them, then what makes you believe I'm doing "the worst"?


You sound like a few Dominican men that I know in NYC. LOL
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
E_Irizarry
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2352
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:07 am
Location: The Corporation ( the U.S. of Gay )

Next

Return to Questions and Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests