Do I owe my Filipina girlfriend an allowance?

[The_Adventurer]

300p to 500p per day?! 300p per day is 9000 per month! 500p per day is 15000 per month. What kind of job can a poor girl, lacking a degree, get that pays anywhere near that?! I know girls with degrees who make only 3000 per month and work their asses off!

By the way, I do believe allowances are customary and should probably be done. My Philippines girlfriend never asked for one, nor did she get one, but only because she never wanted to go anywhere or do anything without me. I couldn't get the clingy girl to leave me alone for five minutes. I do believe, however, that a girl wants to have cash of her own and be able to get around and do things without having to ask for it on each occasion. I mean, think about it. If your wife doesn't work, and you are in the office all day (which was normal for all American couples a few decades ago) how is she supposed to go get groceries, get the kids to school and do all her stuff?

[pete98146]

300p to 500p per day?! 300p per day is 9000 per month! 500p per day is 15000 per month. What kind of job can a poor girl, lacking a degree, get that pays anywhere near that?! I know girls with degrees who make only 3000 per month and work their asses off!

By the way, I do believe allowances are customary and should probably be done. My Philippines girlfriend never asked for one, nor did she get one, but only because she never wanted to go anywhere or do anything without me. I couldn't get the clingy girl to leave me alone for five minutes. I do believe, however, that a girl wants to have cash of her own and be able to get around and do things without having to ask for it on each occasion. I mean, think about it. If your wife doesn't work, and you are in the office all day (which was normal for all American couples a few decades ago) how is she supposed to go get groceries, get the kids to school and do all her stuff?

I think The Adventurer nailed it. Ran this issue by my wife. Six years ago my wife was earning 15000 pesos per month at a job in which only college grads qualified. Winston, her allowance is WAY TOO MUCH. Others have eluded to this but not come out and say it. Are you sure there isn't another man in her life? I'm gonna give you some tough love. Come on, do you really think an asian lady with a kid is going to be a big hit overseas. Asian women are kinda past their prime at age 21. If they are not "discovered" by then it will never happen. She'd hve to be extremely talented and beautiful to even have a shot abroad. So basically it's an expensive pipe dream because all filipinas dream of being a singer/dancer/actress. There is too much competition Winston!!!! She'd have to look and sing like Toni Gonzaga to even stand a fighting chance to get a high paying job in Korea.

I haven't read all of your posts Winston. How often is she way from you per week? How many hours? Adventurer is right, when a filipina is in love with you she wants to spend EVERY SINGLE MINUTE next to your side. Filipinas are inherently clingy. Here's the bottom line. Are you sure she's not supporting another filpino dude on your dime? I know you want to be a trusting guy SOOOO badly but I would spend a few extra pesos and hire that private investigator if nothing else for piece of mind.

Also, you are in Philippines so it’s not a bad drill to ask yourself “what would an average Filipino guy do in this situation? Is he going to give his wife 15000 pesos a month allowance? Are you kidding me? Next time you are at Jollibee, turn to a few Filipino men sitting next to you and ask them if they give their wives 15k pesos per month extra allowance. Chances are they will fall off their chairs laughing. So why should you or Dianne act any different from the normal Filipino family?

So next time it’s Dianne’s “payday� tell her here is your 1500 pesos for the week. If she cries and ultimately calls your bluff let her go because even at 1500 pesos per week she won’t get a better offer. She’ll be back with her tail between her legs minus her bf.

[ErikHeaven]

She used to play that "I am going to the bathroom or bedroom to use the phone bit". I was sleeping on the couch on day and she answered the phone and talked in the bathroom. I woke up and listened outside the door as she was telling her sister how she was tired of me and she just wanted me to leave.
I opened the door and said"All you could have done is just tell me". Then i packed my things and i moved out forever.
Winston women are secretive 9 times out of 10 because they are up to no good. If they are open and honest with you then there is nothing to hide.
I say hire the private investigator and if she is up to no good then kick her to the curb. Even if she is secretly funneling money to family members still kick her to the curb. If she is honest there is no need for her to hide the fact that she may be giving money to family or a lover.
You will cry it will hurt yet you have to move on with your life. I did and life is always getting better.

[well-informed]

First of all Winston, you're full of shit in what you say

1. Single filipina moms are generally NOT courted by men WITH MONEY. That's the truth, do you know how many filipina single moms can't get a man to commit to the LONG-TERM as in marriage. So don't give me this "oh single moms are still in demand because my commander in chief Dianne told me so." Do you really think a filipino man that can provide for a family wants to associate themselves with single mothers ..... NO !!!! Instead of buying baby food, diapers he can use that same money to get a bar girl or to attract single women. The only exception is if he's a p***y, or the mom is extremely attractive. Wrong on your part Winston.

2. So you're giving Dianne an allowance relative to the salary of a nurse that had to study and work her ass off in a country where jobs are scarce. How thoughtful of you You complain about the double-standard of foreign men having to support their spouses and the local men don't. HELLO YOU'RE FEEDING INTO THAT DOUBLE-STANDARD YOURSELF YOU IDIOT. Lol have fun being disrespected and used for your money you vagina-whipped fag.

[swincor]

Usually if a girl is using you for money, she will bail after you become useless to her. She will not wait for very long either. Ask anyone who's dealt with gold diggers. They will tell you this.

So you're implying that Dianne isn't using you for money because she hasn't bailed on you.

You do have a brain, don't you Winston?

Of course you're not useless to Dianne. And neither does she have a reason to bail. After all, Dianne is getting money from you right now.

Therefore, you can't say she's not using you for money -- DUH!

I was saying that if you don't trust my judgment, then you can ask Ladislav if you value his. He will confirm what I say.

Actually, you don't seem to trust your own judgment, Winston -- and you're the one who's living with her and should know her best! How would anyone else know better than you?

[pete98146]

Winston, I think it's time to go all by yourself to a bar (not a girly bar) frequented by normal filipino guys. Sadle up to the bar and approach a few run of the mill filipino guys, buy them a beer and drill them on how they would handle this situation. Ask 4 or 5 of them so you can get some consistant answers. They will tell you what she SHOULD be receiving. You have to remember that Dianne is still a normal filipino chick without a career. Just because she had a baby with an American does NOT mean her p***y is made of gold.

She has a brass ring in your nose Winston because SHE is calling all the shots not you. You have to be strong. Don't wait another month to take action because obviously all the stress is taking a physical toll on you. Grow a pair and confront her tonight Winston.

[Banano]

Winston

I do respect you but i do have a feeling she is milking u , she is with you for money..thas what i think based on what u telling us.

Thats the same as giving AW $2500 a month, I know in Australia nurses would get 2.5k -3k pm, n what does she do? Waitin for you to open wallet and f**k her?

Do a little experiment, tell you that you are broke and that you doing it tough and it will likely to be so for the next year, GFC bs etc...

Lets see if she will bail on you, i think she will,

Also i dont think single mums are in demand, in america if you really wanna setlle with single mum it wouldnt ba an issue, why would someone go to PI and be with single mum?


or just hire PI n have piece of mind, few hundread bucks that you will spend on PI will save you heaps of hard cold cash in the long run

dont let yr emotions get the best of you

[Fenix]

I think some of you haven't thought about this. It is not that Winston won't let Dianne go, it is the fact that he can't let her go. Winston can't find another Filipina, if he could have found one, he would have already. Same with Dianne. Dianne is pretty much damaged goods with Angelo. I find it funny how Winston meets all of these Filipinas and posts their pictures, but they never seem to work out.

I don't think his undying love for Dianne is so strong. I just believe he can't dump her because he would be alone again. You would think he left the Philippines for 6 months and you thought he was going to go to China or somewhere in Europe. He is back in the Philippines with more drama with Dianne than he had before. Why would a normal, sane guy take so much punishment? I agree with the assessment that Dianne is not really attractive, so how is she going to be successful as a singer in Korea?

Dianne has been playing Winston like the Nintendo Wii for 4 years and Winston knows this, but won't do shit about it. All the love in the world won't allow me to take such emotional abuse. You are also getting screwed by her family? Double whammy! Please, Winston, I like you, but seriously, the decisions you make are so poor.

[pete98146]

I think some of you haven't thought about this. It is not that Winston won't let Dianne go, it is the fact that he can't let her go. Winston can't find another Filipina, if he could have found one, he would have already. Same with Dianne. Dianne is pretty much damaged goods with Angelo. I find it funny how Winston meets all of these Filipinas and posts their pictures, but they never seem to work out.

I don't think his undying love for Dianne is so strong. I just believe he can't dump her because he would be alone again. You would think he left the Philippines for 6 months and you thought he was going to go to China or somewhere in Europe. He is back in the Philippines with more drama with Dianne than he had before. Why would a normal, sane guy take so much punishment? I agree with the assessment that Dianne is not really attractive, so how is she going to be successful as a singer in Korea?

Dianne has been playing Winston like the Nintendo Wii for 4 years and Winston knows this, but won't do shit about it. All the love in the world won't allow me to take such emotional abuse. You are also getting screwed by her family? Double whammy! Please, Winston, I like you, but seriously, the decisions you make are so poor.

Phoenix Sosa...Winston's ability to get another Filipina would be based directly on his monthly income. If he had the ability to toss $300 a month to Dianne, this would allow her to live a reasonable life and take good care of her son. Of course she'd have to ditch her pipe dream of being an entertainer and the stop all future payments to family and/or bf.

So let's say Winston then has an extra $1000/mo then he has PLENTY of options to get a good girl. Problem is 1. Does Winston have the additional $1000 and 2. Is he willing to put in the time and effort to land a good girl because said girl will not jump in his lap. I think Winston is afraid to formally court a girl because it takes patience, time and CONFIDENCE. It sounds like is a fantatic for quick and easy love hence the propensity for low level girls and bar chicks.

When my wife was living in Cebu her salary was $300/month. For this her apartment was approx 250 square feet without a frig or oven. My point is this...any American guy with $1000 per month can land a good girl because he would be considered rich. Winston says he HATES being an ATM but welcome to the real world. Yes ALL American men with filipina wife or gf are essentially cash machines. But if he finds the right girl, the trade off is magnificant.

[well-informed]

Winston ideal gf is a fantasy, his ideal filipina gf is something like this

- She must be hot, cute face and be over 5'3
- She and her family must NOT ask for money from him
- She will always be a gf, there will no intention of Winston marrying
- She must be faithful to him, but at the same time he can fool around whenever he so pleases
- She must be a maid in the house, because Winston is too frugal to pay for one
- She must also be intellectual, fiery and support him emotionally, to feed his free-thinking soul
- She must also put out whenever he wants, even though he a mediocre lover (who has erectile dysfunction)

So i really don't know what weed Winston is smoking that makes him feel entitled to have a girl like i just described. I mean Winston have you looked yourself in the mirror lately. You look like a fat pig with a little head lol. Also the little money that you do have, you won't spend. So in summary you WILL NEVER find your ideal gf at your wealth and looks, you taiwanese bastard

[swincor]

People tend to assume the worst about others.

And what have you or Dianne done lately to discourage assuming the worst in either of you?

Btw, you have to keep in mind that a man cannot act totally logical and rational around a woman he loves or has affection with. Women subdue your logic and use emotions to control you. We all know that. That's how they control us and have power over us. That's why I can't always do what's right around women. That's why men will bend toward their wishes and do things he normally wouldn't do. You gotta keep that in mind. Men cannot be rational around women.

Well, at least you're upfront about being a disgraceful, emasculated p***y who has made some very idiotic choices, although in typical chickenshit fashion, you refuse to own up to your own role in this mess. Settling on Dianne as a GF was very dumb. Getting her pregnant was even dumber.

But in retrospect, you probably couldn't have done any better than her. Dianne, in turn, couldn't have done any better than you. And now that you have a kid with her, you two are stuck with each other. I'm only glad it's you and not me.

To the readers: please do not do as Winston did. If you're banging local women, don't get them pregnant. It's really not that hard to do.

[Winston]

This is what my Filipina friend told me when I asked her if allowances are customary in the Philippines:

Hi Phoenix. How are you? Remember what I told you before? A lot of women in the Philippines used the Internet for money. Don't expect you are the only man in there life. If it's a genuine relationship, they would never ask you for money. They make you believe there's an emergency and they need money so you'll send them money. Those women are cheap, uneducated, low class being. I feel so disgusted every time I hear those kind of issues. I'm not saying all of them are like that but I can say 9 out of 10! It is so embarrassing.


I know you didn't meet Diane on the Internet, but this is still interesting.

Of course I'd never give money to a girl online. But when you live with them, they expect an allowance. That's the way relationships are here. All foreigners deal with this issue and eventually give some allowance to their girlfriends. I've asked around and other expats have confirmed it.

[Winston]

Well, I can say I did deal with family members constantly asking me for money.

I'm actually glad I don't make a ton of money a month, because most of my family are smart enough to not bother asking me for any. But when they do and you give them some, they'll take you to the cleaners. Family, huh? It's mostly living in the [false]reality that you're broke all the time. Once they sniff it on you, they don't go asking anymore, because they think it'd be a waste of time. Suckers...

Winston, I believe you can handle this simply. I face secrecy with a f**k YOU attitude. I tell people that ask me for money that if they can't at the very least tell me what they need it for, it must not be important enough to get money for.

Filipinas are weird. I've seen them act in the way you describe Winston. They'll do anything to get out of trouble. They'll even pull some jedi mind trick on you and leave you feeling stupid BY SIMPLY REPEATING WHAT YOU SAY BACK TO YOU, just so they can walk away from you.

They also know how to live their lives. Keep stuff away from people and act dumb.

I do ask what the money is for. But she will usually just give a reasonable response like "It's for Angelo's food and my transportation" or something. Anyone can make up a legitimate reason for needing money. But you cannot tell if that is the real reason or not. It's too easy to lie and Filipinas feel that lying is an acceptable way to get their way.

Btw, some of you guys misunderstood what I said. I do not give Dianne 300p a day. I give her that every few days, or sometimes 200p a day. It's very sporadic. I try to give her as little as possible.

She may have another boyfriend. She admits that she visits her ex sometimes. But she claims he is working in Taiwan. I have no idea if that's true or not. But I don't think she supports another guy with my money, cause I only give her just enough for food and transportation. What I give her isn't enough for her to give it to others without sacrificing her own needs.

Phoenix Sosa, I swear to you, Dianne is considered VERY attractive in the Philippines. Guys stare at her all the time, and other girls do too. A LOT. I SWEAR IT! Filipinos think Dianne is VERY attractive. I'm not kidding you. I've had taxi drivers whistle at Dianne in front of me and then say to me, "You're a lucky guy!" If Dianne was not attractive, that would NOT happen. No way. Therefore, you are 100 percent wrong Phoenix Sosa.

Guys, you forget that even though Dianne lies a lot and is secretive, deep down she is still a kind caring good hearted person. She has a well meaning soul. If she didn't, I would not have tolerated her so long. You can ask Ladislav. He has met her many times and has said many positive things about her. He thinks we are soulmates too. Ask him yourself.

[Winston]

First of all Winston, you're full of shit in what you say

1. Single filipina moms are generally NOT courted by men WITH MONEY. That's the truth, do you know how many filipina single moms can't get a man to commit to the LONG-TERM as in marriage. So don't give me this "oh single moms are still in demand because my commander in chief Dianne told me so." Do you really think a filipino man that can provide for a family wants to associate themselves with single mothers ..... NO !!!! Instead of buying baby food, diapers he can use that same money to get a bar girl or to attract single women. The only exception is if he's a p***y, or the mom is extremely attractive. Wrong on your part Winston.

2. So you're giving Dianne an allowance relative to the salary of a nurse that had to study and work her ass off in a country where jobs are scarce. How thoughtful of you You complain about the double-standard of foreign men having to support their spouses and the local men don't. HELLO YOU'RE FEEDING INTO THAT DOUBLE-STANDARD YOURSELF YOU IDIOT. Lol have fun being disrespected and used for your money you vagina-whipped fag.

You misunderstood me. Dianne is the one who is full of shit. She is the one claiming that single moms have no trouble getting guys to want them. Not me. I never said that. I said that it's common knowledge that guys don't want single moms. But Dianne is the one contesting that.

You come here and tell Dianne that she's wrong. She is stubborn as hell is like a brick when you try to argue with her.

[Winston]

I think some of you haven't thought about this. It is not that Winston won't let Dianne go, it is the fact that he can't let her go. Winston can't find another Filipina, if he could have found one, he would have already. Same with Dianne. Dianne is pretty much damaged goods with Angelo. I find it funny how Winston meets all of these Filipinas and posts their pictures, but they never seem to work out.

I don't think his undying love for Dianne is so strong. I just believe he can't dump her because he would be alone again. You would think he left the Philippines for 6 months and you thought he was going to go to China or somewhere in Europe. He is back in the Philippines with more drama with Dianne than he had before. Why would a normal, sane guy take so much punishment? I agree with the assessment that Dianne is not really attractive, so how is she going to be successful as a singer in Korea?

Dianne has been playing Winston like the Nintendo Wii for 4 years and Winston knows this, but won't do shit about it. All the love in the world won't allow me to take such emotional abuse. You are also getting screwed by her family? Double whammy! Please, Winston, I like you, but seriously, the decisions you make are so poor.

Not true. Getting girls here is as easy as pie. It's just that Angeles City attracts bad girls. You can ask Ladislav how easy it is to get girls here. That is not the problem. The problem is:

1. I am picky.
2. I am flaky sometimes cause when I'm texting different girls, I get tired and do not like to keep up with it. So I get forgetful, especially when I'm doing my internet work. As a thinker, I always have a lot on my mind and I am often not in the mood for chatting or keeping in touch with people.
3. Dianne appears at random times and gets angry if I am texting other girls. Dianne has foiled tons of my affairs with girls in the past, some of which were real keepers.
4. I don't like to go out much here cause it's filthy and ugly here, with nothing but pollution and concrete, so my body does not feel motivated to go out and meet the girls that like me.
5. I do love Dianne. She is feisty and has a unique personality. Other girls here are simpler and seem like hollow shells compared to her. Most Filipinas have no personality and are boring. Dianne isn't like that. She has a real personality. That makes me return to Dianne a lot. We do have a bond. Ladislav notes it all the time when he sees us together. You can ask him about it.
6. I feel attached to Dianne and she does with me, so in that sense, we are sort of codependent. But that's common. Rock feels the same way. He doesn't want to get married to his girlfriend either, but he feels attached and codependent with her. So it's normal to feel that way with someone you've been with for a long time.

My decisions are not poor. Your interpretations are poor and erroneous. You should check your facts first before assuming things. It's annoying having to correct your misunderstandings.

Dianne was promised a career in Korea as long as she passed the auditions. They promised to pay for her flight too, and provide her with an apartment, along with 600 USD salary per month. I don't know whether to believe it or not either. Come and ask her. These are her claims, not mine.

A lot of guys whistle at Dianne a lot. I swear to you they do. If she were not hot here, they wouldn't do that. Duh.

I am not getting used. I am giving Dianne just enough for food and transportation. I give far less than what other guys give. But I am giving less and less now cause I am not happy with Dianne's behavior and secretive personality.

In fact, Dianne is complaining about how hard it is to get money out of me. So she is NOT getting her way.

You guys are badly misinformed.