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11 posts • Page 1 of 1
So, this is going to be a vary long post, I registers on this site just to post this one topic in hopes of gaining some perspective and some kind of idea to find happiness before my youth is over.
I will attempt to keep everything I'm detailing to a minimum, but I will give you a idea of what kind of person I am, and what my dreams are, and ultimately my questions.
I was born in to a vary christian family with deep roots in morality trust and honor, traits that I proudly retain and keep, as I believe morality and honesty are like any other discipline, they take sacrifice to uphold maintain and perfect.
Like a lot of christian people, my parents thought the public school system would be too much negative worldly influence, and so I was home schooled for the entirety of my life.
I never learned to interact with people my own age, I recall several times in my youth even ordering food at a restaurant gave me butterfly, my interaction skills and ability to communicate were horrible in my youth, and you can image having not interacted with kids my own age had a impact on me, mentally and physically.
my parents had no concern for nutrition or healthy eating wile I was growing up, not one week of my childhood do I remember ever having at least 5 days without fast food and candy.
My father, who is one of the most intelligent and intellectual people I will ever have the pleasure of knowing has one of the oddest outlooks, he is anti-education, in that, he believes a man should educate himself, and I fully believe in this, but I think college is still vary important, but it was never a issue or pressed issue to go, so in my immaturity I neglected my chance to go to college, thinking I didn't need it, and I was never pushed towards it in any urgent seance of the word.
by the time I was 16, I had suicidal thoughts, lack of social skills and a inability to interact with anyone my age not to mention I had no clue how to speak to women, I had 1 friend who more or less was like me, I had a large inability to spell or do mathematics, I was vary uneducated and with a unhealthy life style and lack of any good nutrition I weighed 270lbs or more of pure fat.
I was unemployed until I was 19 years old when I finally just started to be socially normal, I could hold conversations, I could interact with women without being odd or making them think I was a special needs child.
when i was 20 years old and weighing around 300 lbs, I decided I would change my life or die trying, I had done small weight work outs with my father in the back yard and grew a taste for it, and continued to work at it for the next year.
At age 21 I had kept a steady pace on and off with weights, now weighing 287 lbs I decided I had no choice, It was all or nothing, I exercised over the next 2 years like you've never seen or heard, I would run some nights so long so hard, that I literally felt my heart breaking down inside of me, because in my soul I decided I rather die then live the way I was, both mentally physically, and even emotionally.
By the age of 23, I had shed all my weight, I had finally achieved my goal of being average physically, I felt good about my self, and hope was finally with in my grasp, I was feeling better about my self, I could spell words that didn't sound like gibberish, I had done feats I never thought possible such as parkour and free running, I'd done gymnastics, I was doing more then overcoming, I was conquering my problems!
at age 24 I started wondering why it was I could never get a date, it couldn't be my physical appearance? was it my social skills? I thought of my self is a rather funny if not maybe too crazy and over the top at times.
wile I was 24 I had taken in a friend of mine who was 16 at the time, are places of work were right next to one another, and we bonded and struck up a friendship.
later i found out he was in a abusive home, his step dad would hit him with weight bars, abuse him, would say cruel things to him and get inside his head, so I called child services and he moved in with me and my family for the next 2 years.
frank had been working out from the age of 14 and up, by the time he was 17 he was built like a body builder, I remember always being envious of how effortless it was for him to get dates, literally every woman at work wanted him.
I remember me and frank for a wile were on a dating site, and that literally every woman he messaged responded, and how he got countless responses, this went on for about a year and in that time, I had only ever got literally 3 responses, all from women who were easily 60lbs over weight.
frank is now 19 years old and has just left my house for the navy, he got married a week ago to a girl his age, I as the best man at his wedding, he left his newly married wife 2 days ago for the navy.
I'm now 26 years old, still not a body builder, though still in shape, I regard my self as at least a 7 out of 10 on the "looks" scale.
I find my self wondering why if frank can find a wife by age 19 with nothing to offer her, why cant I even manage a long term girlfriend.
I've only ever had one girl friend, who ironically wasn't american, but still managed to break my heart after 2 weeks of saying she as falling for me and "didn't want to fall in love with me" because she was, she was chinese and dumped me because she can't fall in love with a "foreigner" who isn't chinese, and because her dad said so.
I am after all moral honorable, keep my word, in good shape, I've even stayed a virgin because of my moral integrity.
I admit I do have my flaws, I still live with my parents, its too expensive for me to move out on my own, I work as a store manager for a supplement store, so I don't make a lot of money, I guess that might be the key factor money, but then frank didn't need money did he, so sitting here at 26 years old, at the end of my youth, I don't know what to do, I know I'm not happy, I know I want to get married and have a family wile I'm still young.
I've read "happier abroad" and it only farther convinced me of what i already thought to be a fact, foreign women, though not perfect, treated me "I dated a korean girl and had that one chinese girlfriend" far better then any americanized women ever did.
I've thought about taking college and getting a teaching credential and then trying to teach English and nutrition, even personal training , but as you can see my education still isn't fantastic, and to be honest I don't want to wait 3 years to try and move out of the country.
I know I want to find a wife who is willing to work grow and mature with me, and I know I want one who is younger, wile I'm still young.
I don't know how I'm going to get out of the U.S or make a living but I know it has to happen, I failed or maybe the U.S.A failed me, but I know my salvation awaits me outside of this country.
So my question is as fallows
whats the easiest job a foreigner can get overseas?
Where is the most likely place for a moral christian virgin guy like my self to find a christian wife with the same ideals?
What kind of time frame am I looking at to prepare and what would I require to do so?
I know this is a bit unspecific, but I'm at the end of my youth, like the title of the thread says, life is leaving me behind, at least life in the u.s.a is, and i just want to grab on to it with both hands and enjoy ever little bit I can before I'm dead, I want my youth to count for something, because up until this point its all been a uphill struggle, so any advice you could give me, or anything that could help me out, please share it with me, I'm done letting life pass me by.
This is for you, bro.
I got to say, man. It seems you worked very hard just to have a life of dignity in America. It does come effortlessly to some, as it was preordained for them anyway. Humans, especially in the west, are the equivalent to electronic zombies carefully crafted to serve the system. If you happen to have a dose of humanity, individuality (not EGO), creativity, and wisdom, marginalization can be a high risk if you're just trying to have a 'healthy' social life that everyone else appears to have. This is something me and Winston, the owner of this particular forum, resonate completely on: various of groups being 'energetically' attracted or repelled from each other. If you are not into the bland American culture of drama and extreme consumerism, you are called out as a threat as a decent majority of people in the states operate as agents, not even aware that they are agents.
Life in the mundane Anglosphere is a joke, man. No romance, no real spirituality, and best of all, no common sense. I say call it a blessing that you haven't been 'accepted' into this matrix of delusion. If you were, you would of been a sheep led to slaughter in these days and times. I say focus on self-cultivation, traveling of course isn't a bad idea, read more, expand the horizons.
As for your friend, maybe he fits in with the culture here. I don't know him, so I can't make judgments on him obviously. However, there is a saying, know what you want but know what you want you want, you have to know who you are. You will find out you were a square peg desperate to fit in a round hole, but you will soon realize who you are is the best way to go. Don't waste your time trying to degrade yourself to the level of the masses, they need you more than you need them. One Love.
You've done a great job in exercising and losing the weight.
Age 26 you're still relatively young. If you just want to go abroad for the experience, look for volunteer opportunities where the charity organization will pay (or at least partially) your expenses. Since you're a Christian, you can look into religious organizations that'd send you abroad as volunteer worker or missionary as well.
On subject of "easiest job", you need to decide for yourself what kind of income and standard of living you want. My doctrine is that, if you're going to work, you should be well paid for your time and effort, unless if it's a hobby, then income is not the primary objective. The easiest jobs are probably not the highest paying jobs.
You are not at the end of your youth, end of youth is 49, not 26. We all have our stories to tell and they are somewhat similar and mine is a variation of yours more or less and I guess the other guys have their own variations on the theme. Just a few words to you in a nutshell:
1) Look into the future not the past.
2) Life is not passing you by if you put every effort into making causes for future effects.
3) The easiest way to go abroad is to teach English. Finish a 4 year degree and a CELTA/TEFL/DELTA certificate. Get some teaching experience either online or by volunteering at some immigrant program in your state.
4) You cannot get a girl because you are in a wrong country. If you were in E Europe, S. E. Asia or Latin America, you would be getting dates right and left. So, stop blaming yourself. Also, many Northern Asians in the USA often have a nasty habit of calling Americans foreigners in their own country. Stay away from such people.
5) Opening up and letting off steam is healthy but don't get caught in it. Start making concrete plans. Get mean!
PM me for concrete instructions on how I did it.
As far as your 19 year old friend goes, good for him that he got married. I had a friend who got married at 23 to a girl his age. He is now 51 and so is his wife, He would give an arm and a leg to be in my shoes. I am 51 and the ladies I date are in the 18-26 category. He used to laugh at me and sneer at me and constantly call me a loser. Now he keeps emailing me telling me that he is the one who is the loser. I sent him pictures of me from all five continents doing all kinds of wild things and he must be turning green with envy. He told me' my life sucks'. Well, mine doesn't. He also fit into the culture, I chose to go my own way.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
You should be very proud of what you have accomplished this far. I am impressed and I know that you want to leave the country ASAP. Trust me I was in the same situation as you. However, you need to make sure you have a long term plan and one that will allow you to stay overseas for the long haul (if necessary). I have been back to Canada on three separate occasions thinking that something was wrong with me. Well, as others have stated, I was the square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I did not belong there. I realize this now but at the time I didn't.
Anyways, if I were in your shoes (and I was in the past), I would hunker down and get serious about getting an education. Put all your time and effort into finishing a degree ASAP and do it debt free if possible. I managed to do 8 years of University (1 trades degree, 1 Bachelor of Arts and 1 Masters) without taking out a single loan and with no financial support from my family. All it takes is dedication and focus. You have proven (through your weight loss) you have the drive to do it. Now take that energy and focus it somewhere else. Although, many will argue that an education is a waste of time (such as your father) but it does open up doors, especially overseas. Also, if you do it debt free then you will not be a slave to the system and you can move freely for the rest of your life. Remember that 4 years of sacrifice will be worth a lifetime of happiness.......time to man up!
Take it from me. These men on this thread are well-experienced. Please take heed to our creed.
You'll never regret another moment of your life if you fully accept going your way in life and using this site among other sites like it as your "b.i.b.l.e." (i.e. basic instructions [of how to live happier abroad with a non-feminized broad] before leaving earth!).
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)
"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)
"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)
"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)
TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
Thanks for sharing your story! IMHO, there are two distinct ways to solve your problem. 1. Move abroad and find gainful employment. Take Ladislav up on his offer and send him a PM. He has a wealth of information. 2. You are still young. Why not go online and find a bright and intelligent girl to bring back to the States? This is my area of expertise.
That's a pic of my wife sitting in the chair. We've been married for 4 years now and it's been such a wonderful experience. She's literally transformed my life. Ok, onto my main point. I sent Cathy to school for one year to be a dental assistant. She graduated with honors and now makes $17 per hour which is a pretty good wage in today's job market.
If you could duplicate my efforts, it buys you flexibility! Bring her over and the both of you work for 15-20 years. Live cheap and build up a nest egg. Then when you reach your 40s-50s go back and retire in Philippines!
Send me a PM if you'd like my help planning this out.
Consider joining the merchant marines if you don't want to go to school for a few years. Look up the requirements to take some courses to be a deck hand or something related.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 748AAUPsP6
http://www.ehow.com/how_4966693_become- ... arine.html
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
congrats on getting in shape...your perseverance was impressive.
honestly, you should feel bad for your recently married friend....hes going to get a ton of poontang either stateside or overseas and his wife will likely get angry, fat, and unfaithful in his extended absences...
i dont predict that marriage lasting long...
you seem like a high quality male in an environment with low quality AW...my advice is to take your talents elsewhere....chase your bliss my friend.
you can always get married later (if youre crazy) but staying single is where the smart mature guys are hanging at imo.
im early 40s and date girls in their 20s...friendly, cute and in shape and non toxic...
that would NEVER happen in the states unless i was a millionaire.
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
Thank you all for your responses.
I have really thought about school, I know after what I've done for my life that I can literally do anything when it comes to improving my self.
I was thinking of taking a online college course to try and race through a 4 year program in half the time or less, I work at a job that allows me to study wile working for almost the entire time, but I don't know if this is possible.
I'm mostly in to asian women, I've dated a few, and even when the relationships ended, I felt they were a better choice then the others, not only the way they look the way they speak act, culture... even the way they carry themselves, what can I say I'm hooked, though I'm mostly attracted to japanese/chinese/korean I wouldn't know where or how to meet these women other then go directly to that country, and meeting them here...well it seems they learn the culture fast.
its my dream to get married and start living my happy dream life before I'm 30, I was hoping 2 years ago to have already achieved this dream, but apparently women don't appreciate a honorable honest to no end god fearing man who saved himself for her, go figure.
I'm posting this on my way out the door so I'm in a bit of a rush.
As for meeting women online... I wouldn't even know where to start looking for them, I've attempted a few dating sites, but after 3 years, I've only ever had 3 result in real dates.
I got my MBA from University of Phoenix. They're relatively well established and not a scam. You can find many online programs offered at this school for undergrad and grad. Getting a degree and building a higher paying career will improve your financial situation. When you have savings, refrain from investing in any schemes that your friends/buddies/family may come up with -- don't give them any money that you can't afford to lose.
If you like Asian women, the largest selection is, of course, in Asia. There are many Christian missionary programs that you can look into. I did a quick search and found this one with missionary internship program:
I'm not a Christian and have no association with any missionary programs or organizations. The URL provided above is for example only. Please do your own research accordingly. A missionary program may offer you the opportunity to go abroad and get your feet wet. But, be warned that if you make a career out of it, don't expect high pay. Going abroad to meet the locals in person is far better than using online dating sites or agencies. When lading on foreign shores, refrain from chasing tail in haste. Take your time, learn the language/culture, shop carefully, and play safe. I've known guy friends who went abroad to teach English, got a local girl pregnant within first 3-6 months ("she said it was safe/she was on the pill!"), then end up back in the States at age 40 with wife and 2 kids in tow, working overtime at low-paying jobs to make ends meet. Do not end up like them.
For those interested, this volunteer organization is non-religious: (disclaimer; I have no experience with them)
http://www.globalvolunteers.org/media/ITN.pdf <--- cook islands
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