Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.
It's me once again..Winston, that opinion page blew my mind. I was sitting here crying my eyes out and I only read it halfway so far. Some of the opinions are almost 100% the same of what I used to try to explain to Room Temp when we talked about the differences and my frustrations. All I can say is, thank you, million times for creating these pages. I never imagined that others feel this way. I thought I am the only one and it took humongous strength to not to give in to start to take anti-depressants over the years. How can anyone survive here without going insane slowly. I am determined to do this move, away from here. Of course it has to be a joint decision with Room Temp..but he sounds just as eager as I am. I've always told him he has a much more european type of personality and probably that's why he never really felt good here in the US. He's too honest..
Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!
Special Offer! FREE 6 Month Membership on ForeignWomen.com! Sign up here.
Find Your Foreign Sweetheart Now! Try our international Dating Sites and Overseas Romance Tours!
Here is the military website for the European Regional Medical Command:
Scroll to the bottom and you will find a link to civilian jobs in Europe. There are millions of jobs for Americans at every level of experience and specialty. All this is mostly invisible to the average american civilian. Unless you have military experience...It's a huge website that links you to other huge govt sites. Don't be intimidated with the sites. That's just how the military does things. Always harder than it looks...navigate carefully and read every fine detail or you could miss a good opportunity.
Good luck. Let me know if you need help?
Thank you Clearbluesky, I am looking - do you think it's worth putting in his resume even if there's no job opening listed in his field? He always tells me that lab positions are rarely posted on hospital websites (even within the US) and I was wondering if it is the same over there too. He is really enthusiastic about this from the sounds of it.
Yes, submit the resume...turnover is very high in the military since most people get moved every 1-3 years, so spouses also leave which can open up positions quickly. Also do searches for DoD job in Europe, which will also list other sites as well. I'm not a civilian, but to my knowledge, the best jobs are hired when you are applying from the US and asked to come here. Do not become a local hire. The jobs will suck...Just in my urology clinic, we have lost 4 front desk clerk in 2 years because they have all moved with their military husbands. We have just hired a new civilian lady today. So something you may also be able to do if your husband found a job here.
One more question - I will let Mr. Ambient take over at this point but I was wondering how they conduct interviews for example at the Landstuhl regional medical center for civilian positions for those that come from the US. There is a severe shortage in the lab where my husband works and no chance to take off a few days anytime soon. It must be a stupid question but does he have to travel there in person or can an interview and drug testing etc be conducted at a military base locally? I was just wondering..and like I said my husband will know what to do from here on out far better than I could.
We are still looking for other options too but this sounds like the easiest and most fusible options at the moment. You all have helped me so much already. I was so scared to post on these boards as a woman. I did not even imagine that you all would be so so helpful. I humbly thank every one of you.
Ah, I absolutely love you Ambient! I am a fellow East European I moved to the U.S. being an adult, I had tried every possible way to adjust and "be American", but I just can't stand shallow and superficial culture. I am OK to live in the U.S., but I AM SO SO SO scared for my children because every immigrant child I have seen grows up as a messed-up American, who was fed GMO/hormone-filled foods, taught to love shitty pizza-cheap beer and dumb sports! I can't stand the way people look, no one seems to ever dress up besides office workers and nightclub goers! I have also gained weight, lost some when I was heavily exercising, but now gained some that I do work a lot and have no time left for the gym. I have same issues with student loans. In general, what do you even do in the U.S. if you have no kids? There are no places to go, really! It makes no sense to "go out" in general because people do not socialize! I am sick to see American girls go to a nightclub all dressed up, but they come - get drunk - and go home. WHAT'S THE POINT? I am used to going out to meet new people, I always loved to meet new people because my parents always taught me - "you never know who you meet, it could be a great friend or future wife or an enemy, so choose carefully, but stay open to new folks out there" and I so agree to that. But no! Not in the U.S.
Don't get me wrong, I do like many things here in the U.S., but social life negates all the good stuff. American girls often make fun of you for anything she can find, they are not nice, they are not sweet, they don't even care who you are or what they can learn from you! It's insane! I totally feel you, I wonder how I didn't fall for anti-depressants, it seems the only way to calm-off this nonsense lifestyle.
I am OK to live in the U.S. with a decent wife, but I feel I absolutely must raise my children abroad with healthier foods, better families, better relationship in schools etc. I bet there not as many fat people in Hungary as there are in the U.S.
I can also point out people wearing pajamas and Uggs to school thinking it's cool and hip. When I dress up into Italian jeans and shirt - everyone thought I am gay. When I listened to other music besides what is playing on the radio - everyone thinks I am creep or gay. Conformism of American society is terrible! Everyone consumes what is given to them! Many people don't even know there is an unlocked iPhone being officially sold on Apple website now!!! They get one from AT&T and pay 3 times more for service than I do just because I did some research etc. And it's only one of the examples!
I do admit that community of East Europeans get very bad in the U.S. I visited many clubs in Chicago, as you know there are tons of Polish people there. They get so fake and "American" it's not even funny! Girls are over-confident and bitchy, every car on the parking lot is a BMW or Cadillac etc. Money-money-money. Some Polish guys are great, but only a few don't change and usually those are the ones who moved while being adults. High school makes kids truly "American", if kids did not go to high school in the U.S. - 75% chance they will stay who they are, changing very little.
Please feel free to write more. Many older East Europeans do not speak good English and just don't think it's proper to integrate in the American society, while their kids have no clue where their parents came from, some country called Yurop! We are only a few that see these issues and address them. High five to your husband for supporting you and seeing what is really happening as well. I truly hope you guys will find a way to reach your goals!
Thank you!! It was a very touching message. I completely understand and agree what you've written. Once again it's so much relief to see that I am not alone with how I feel. For years I've been trying to suck it up thinking it's all my fault. If this makes sense at all, blaming myself -while made me feel worse of course - made me feel better too. I felt if I really really really tried even harder, THEN things could be better. I always perceived it as ME not REALLY wanting to change so in a way I thought my miserable-ness is the direct consequence of me being stubborn and refusing to change.
Now I know I was wrong. Now I know I can do nothing, may I live here for 50 more years..nothing will ever change nor get better, no matter what I do. What a relief this is. First time in years that I am not waking up with self-condemning thoughts and I don't cry inside secretly when I go to sleep.
And yet - I feel much much much worse all of a sudden.
It's like I woke up from a coma, a nightmare, I became enlightened and I can see clearly again. And I am scared because every cell in me screams to get out ASAP with my husband and precious children..and I don't know how to
Sounds like there isn't an easy and simple solution...We even started to look into my husband immigrating as a skilled worker to the EU but even with his work experience and diploma and international shortage of workers on his field, he would have to jump through unimaginable hoops to get it done and I feel intimidated. Then again, we're lucky because I am an EU citizen and through me the kids are as well, so really it's only him who needs to find the small door to enter and I and the kids can go freely.
I would even love to live in Asia at this point but that's not an option for Room Temp, he does not care for that idea.
Thank you again for your support Have2fly. I wish you much luck finding your place here (heck, what am I talking about..we both know now that it's not possible..)..or finding the way to get back to the Old Continent..I am not sure which country you are from but I think we can agree that even a "russian style" apartment complex- nothing but grey concrete all around- is a better way of life than this..Heck, a cardboard box in the thirld world is a welcome change if it brings REAL life, REAL struggles, REAL relationships....
I wanna leave the Matrix.......( Like right now........(
Ambient, Room Temp - I know you know already, just wanted to re-emphasize it, please please please remember to be extremely grateful that you two have each other and have 4 children! There are still a lot of UNNECESSARILY very lonely people in this world just nearly literally dying to meet another and many, desiring, longing just to have at least one healthy child.
I am aware you guys are pursuing to better things as naturally most humans do, but just wanted to offer that smidget in.
I know you desire a more healthy environment for yourselves and your children. I know you desire better social activity as most people do. I guess I'm just saying, in this period of your lives where you are bothered by these other things, I would suggest is the time to kick up the gratitude for the precious things in your life just a few more notches. I'm sure you do fine currently, just saying, a few more notches up in these whirlwind times would be beneficial.
America, as an organism is very sick, a long term developing cancer. We don't know if it'll be turned around. What you guys, and many others are sensing is very real.
I'm bouncing around the globe a lot, and even though surely there are better levels of places, there's still seems to be something in the air the recent years that's hard to explain.
Possibly something IS coming and considering that humanity as a whole is connected by way of its underpinnings (mass consciousness), it's as if mostly subconsciously, people are sensing something.
Either way, there has been and will be more to come, some large changes globally.
In closing, I wish you guys well whichever path you take. The internet helps us connect, share ideas and experiences, sooth even - then which, we can weigh out decisions in our individual lives. I'd offer that that the final answers are to be found in what truly calls to you when you relax, get quiet and know.
Best to you.
"Give me liberty or give me death" - Patrick Henry
Wow you are very aware and not afraid to speak what you see in your awareness. Few people have attained that. You should be proud.
You are exactly right. The US is a bizarro world in that the more fake and artificial you act, the more accepted you are by the lowest common denominator of people, while the more authentic, genuine and sane you are, the more of a misfit you become.
That is the key rule and pattern in the US. But it is not talked about because it is taboo. Many feel the way you do, but they do not talk about it on the internet or vocalize it to others out of fear of ridicule and condemnation, and because they also have self-doubt and wonder "Is the problem me?" Plus it is not socially acceptable to talk about such things either. For example, if you are in the coffee break room at work with coworkers, or at a party socializing with others, etc. the conversation is supposed to be kept polite and consist of lighthearted humor. That is what is socially acceptable. Deep topics are kind of taboo, especially when they reveal something wrong with society or people.
Ambient, here is a quote by Swiss Psychologist Eric Fromm that you might like:
"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. The whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those who suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated in the insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic."
- Eric Fromm, Swiss Psychologist (The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness)
Some more you might like:
â€œThe object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.â€� - Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
"The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." - H. L. Mencken
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." - Friederich Nietzsche
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friederich Nietzsche
"Men have been taught that it is a virtue to agree with others. But the creator is the man who disagrees. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to swim with the current. But the creator is the man who goes against the current. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to stand together. But the creator is the man who stands alone." - Ayn Rand
"Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue..." - Billy Joel, in his hit song "Honesty"
"We are in the process of creating what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot sub-culture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal."
- Carl Bernstein, U.S. journalist. Guardian (London, June 3, 1992)
"In a mad world, only the mad are sane." - Akiro Kurosawa
"A time will come when the whole world will go mad. And to anyone who is not mad they will say: 'You are mad, for you are not like us.'" - St. Anthony the Great (attributed to)
Check out my fun video clips in Russia and video series Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind and Full Russia Trip Videos!
See my HA Ebook and Join Our Dating Sites to support us!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
The full quote from St. Anthony the Great (one of the Desert Fathers) goes like this:
"Here comes the time, when people will behave like madmen, and if they see anybody who does not behave like that, they will rebel against him and say: "You are mad", - because he is not like them."
This guy lived c. 251â€“356, just to show you how there's nothing new under the sun.
Free, I thank you for your insight and inspiring words. You are most definitely right. Being grateful is something that is so easy to forget when things don't go the way you hoped they would. We have what most people desire in this life, a wonderful partner and a lovely family. It's easy to not to feel grateful when you are tired, worn down and have no family to help you and a society that pushes you to the edge without acceptance and caring and love. This is not how I imagined raising a family and it is hard to remember the good things. I suppose it's true not only to our situation and to everyone's - there's a LOT to be thankful for just merely for the fact that you are alive. From where I sit at the moment there's a lot to be thankful even if you're single and independent, because you don't have to deal with the tremendous heartache that comes from having to raise children in this culture and society and etc. We all have something to be thankful for and we all have burdens that are hard to bear..But like I said I am very thankful for your words because lately I've been pondering a lot over the gratefulness in life in general and your words were exactly fitting to my thoughts on it.
As someone who's been interested in metaphysical since early childhood (was raised catholic but had my own very unique path from there..) I completely understand what you talk about the awakening of the global consciousness to something far greater than we humans have ever seen. I know it is coming - though I have been selfish and pushing it out of my mind just to not to have to accept the possibility that things will change (for better or worse..) before I get the chance to move back home. It's not right though. I know we -those who are aware- were placed on Earth for a very specific purpose at this time and I know no matter where we go we won't be able to run away from it. So in a way I know we might live in Europe and we still have to fight the coming battles..you can only retreat so much, at some point you have to turn your face towards the battle and just do it. I think it's true for all of us who are so blessed/cursed that we see reality behind the matrix..
Winston, thank you so much for those quotes. I don't think I have heard any of them,I found them fascinating and painfully true. They give hope and explain what I see in the US but at the same time they remind me that no matter where we live we still have to face this disease of the human society in general there's no running away from it, it is coded within us Things might be a lot better elsewhere still, but there is no ideal society and it's so easy to forget this and idolize the culture you grew up in, especially if you haven't been home for several years like myself. I am going to have to put these quotes to my growing collection of favorites to remind myself to this constantly, especially when I am homesick. Thank you again Winston and Think Different too!
Wish I knew how to help, but I don't. But for laughs I'll offer the following. A friend of mine from Prague came over to the States in a far less backward state than you're in (sorry) and he told people, "I'm from the Czech Republic", and they would reply, "did you drive here?"......
He would reply, "yep, I drove here".....
Americans have been purposely dumbed down for many years now. I'm afraid there is no real solution, at least not that I'm aware of, the only answer is to leave the USA as far as I know.
But I would like you to consider this for a moment ok? Consider yourself very lucky, you have a husband who loves you, and children who love you, take pleasure in them, for many of us, like myself, are not that lucky and are all alone in this world, please try to remember that, and cleave to your husband and your children....
Futures markets are controlled by a computer program!