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European Woman here..happily married..need advice

Ask questions and get advice, or share advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following someone's advice here.
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Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby ambient » Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:04 am

Thank you :) And sorry for disappearing for so long. I have been meaning to check back on the forum and my thread - but in another hand perhaps subconsciously I was trying to avoid it to not to bring back the tremendous frustration and heartache this subject stirs in me.

Yet I am very thankful to be reminded that I have a lot to live for and be happy for - and this is what I have been trying to focus on for the past months...more or less succesfully I suppose..

I am determined to make this work. I have made some changes. I am no longer "hiding" from Americans. I let myself to shine. :) I am working out and re-claimed my health and losing weight..before I know it I will look like my old European self again. I don't care anymore who thinks what, who hates me, who is jealous, and so forth. I have this one life and I came here to be with my man, and he and my children don't deserve that I am a living corpse because depression eats me up and sucks me dry. I will live and I will show 'em why my hubby chose me and that he was right....:) And I will plant these same seeds in my daughters, I swear, and in about 20 years some guys will be absolutely, absolutely thankful to me for they won't have to travel VERY far and struggle with difficult immigration processes to find some beautiful, smart, intelligent, unique girls to date...:) LOL.

Hope everyone is well, happy belated New Year.
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Postby Mark Edward Davis » Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:57 pm

My wife, Anna, is Ukrainian and I can relate to many parts of your story. She's been in the US nearly 5 years now. Your description of the women in the US is accurate and friends have been hard to find. She Skypes with family every other day and I've become her social friend. She has maintained friendship with two other women from her hometown in Nikolaev who came to the US by marrying men who are now also friends of mine. One of the couples is close and we connect a couple of times each week.

I don't know that any of this was helpful, but you might find friends, like my wife, via Skype, and hold off the loneliness.

Send me a private message if you'd like to chat with my wife, another woman from the FSU. I know it's not normal for FSU ladies to initiate such a thing, but it could make for a great start for accessing many new friends.

We'd love to connect with you. :-)

Mark & Anna Davis
http://www.DreamConnections.com

Best wishes for success and happiness,

Mark and Anna Davis
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Postby fschmidt » Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:42 pm

ambient, I appreciate your goals but I am skeptical that they will work. It just depends how close you are to the American mindset. Personally, I can't stand most Americans, both men and women. I find them shallow and insincere. My solution has been to look for a church where I can relate to the people. I am atheist, so belief shouldn't be an obstacle to joining a church that has good people. Good churches offer an alternative to mainstream American culture. I went with a Greek Orthodox church but you could look around. This is also for your kids. You will lose control of your kids as they grow up and they are likely to turn into American monsters if you can't provide them with a better social circle.

To Mark Edward Davis, I have the same advice if you feel as I do about American culture. At the least, you might want to visit a Russian Orthodox service with your wife.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
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Postby djfourmoney » Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:48 pm

Konradzsky wrote:I'm a hardcore realist. I'm very blunt. I don't hide who I am.

If you don't like America, then you have two options A.) GET OUT or B.) DEAL WITH IT

It's very simple actually, you don't need to overcomplicate the situation.

America isn't perfect, but it's a thousand times better than other places around the world. If America wasn't such an attractive place to come, people would stay away. Nobody forces anyone to stay in America, you can deport yourself if necessary. America has the right to safeguard its citizens and to have safe communities.

Since you are a housewife who contributes nothing financially, you have to deal with your husband's career situation. Otherwise, stop complaining.


Holy Cow, aren't you full of sunshine?

She has every right to stay and complain. She has legitimate gripes about American Culture and Society as a whole. I support her efforts to think more positive and thankful she updated her thread.

Thousand times better than other places on the planet huh? I strong beg to differ... I think you forget how close we are to a police state and banana republic.
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Postby djfourmoney » Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:52 pm

fschmidt wrote:ambient, I appreciate your goals but I am skeptical that they will work. It just depends how close you are to the American mindset. Personally, I can't stand most Americans, both men and women. I find them shallow and insincere. My solution has been to look for a church where I can relate to the people. I am atheist, so belief shouldn't be an obstacle to joining a church that has good people. Good churches offer an alternative to mainstream American culture. I went with a Greek Orthodox church but you could look around. This is also for your kids. You will lose control of your kids as they grow up and they are likely to turn into American monsters if you can't provide them with a better social circle.

To Mark Edward Davis, I have the same advice if you feel as I do about American culture. At the least, you might want to visit a Russian Orthodox service with your wife.


Church WTF?, indoctrination of Black Women...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=0xkWdKY5Ufk[/youtube]

I don't date BW but you can't ignore the impact either. It makes my job of making hard heads soft much harder.
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Postby Dogboy86 » Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:14 pm

Konradzsky wrote:I'm a hardcore realist. I'm very blunt. I don't hide who I am.

If you don't like America, then you have two options A.) GET OUT or B.) DEAL WITH IT

It's very simple actually, you don't need to overcomplicate the situation.

America isn't perfect, but it's a thousand times better than other places around the world. If America wasn't such an attractive place to come, people would stay away. Nobody forces anyone to stay in America, you can deport yourself if necessary. America has the right to safeguard its citizens and to have safe communities.

Since you are a housewife who contributes nothing financially, you have to deal with your husband's career situation. Otherwise, stop complaining.


Konradzsky, your a world class moron! As being someone that has had depression and a weight problem Konrad you should be more understanding and compassionate. Being someone that has been banned and give many secound chances you should understand mercy and know when to hold your tounge. But understanding and valueng neather your are a troll at best and at worst a piece of human refuse...
"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity"!!!
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Postby have2fly » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:07 am

I'm a hardcore realist. I'm very blunt. I don't hide who I am.

If you don't like America, then you have two options A.) GET OUT or B.) DEAL WITH IT

It's very simple actually, you don't need to overcomplicate the situation.

America isn't perfect, but it's a thousand times better than other places around the world. If America wasn't such an attractive place to come, people would stay away. Nobody forces anyone to stay in America, you can deport yourself if necessary. America has the right to safeguard its citizens and to have safe communities.

Since you are a housewife who contributes nothing financially, you have to deal with your husband's career situation. Otherwise, stop complaining.


Trolls like you enjoy being a sheeple and obey the rules of the Master! I have a feeling that you would love to live in a police state and follow orders. Nazi Germany? Yeah, seems like your thing! Do whatever they tell you or GTFO, right? Also reminds me of Communist USSR where censorship was everywhere and people that didn't like it had to leave. Ah, wait a second, we live in a free country called the United States? And everyone is screaming about "FREE SPEECH" in America, but we can't speak our mind, huh? Hypocrisy in its best! Do you even believe your own bullshit you are writing? Many of us are already out and many will get out, trust me. If many immigrants would find this forum, many would not consider moving to the U.S., but things discussed here are not widely discussed in the media, so average immigrant has no clue where he is moving to.

Church WTF?, indoctrination of Black Women...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=0xkWdKY5Ufk[/youtube]

I don't date BW but you can't ignore the impact either. It makes my job of making hard heads soft much harder.


I disagree with you on this one. Don't mix Eastern Orthodox faith with Black churches in America that brainwash people. Christian Orthodox is about very deep spirituality, you come to a church not to see a show and wave hands, but to pray, listen to the mass by standing up for hours, you light up candles etc. In America they also have dinners after the mass and you can meet some great people because the religion itself preserves some good traits from Eastern Europe. I went to a few Orthodox churches in the U.S. and there are some hot chicks going there. I am not a religious fanatic, but I do respect my religion. I am not imposing it on anyone, so just wanted to clear this out.
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Postby have2fly » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:23 am

Holy Cow, aren't you full of sunshine?

She has every right to stay and complain. She has legitimate gripes about American Culture and Society as a whole. I support her efforts to think more positive and thankful she updated her thread.

Thousand times better than other places on the planet huh? I strong beg to differ... I think you forget how close we are to a police state and banana republic.

I agree. Her perception of life in America is very insightful and is an amazing example of how average decent Eastern European woman will feel upon immigrating to America. Her story is very useful for American guys looking to bring a woman from Russia or Europe in general, just because as American men who never lived abroad - they will have no clue what this girl is going through! How much loneliness and isolation she will have to put up with.

ambient, I appreciate your goals but I am skeptical that they will work. It just depends how close you are to the American mindset. Personally, I can't stand most Americans, both men and women. I find them shallow and insincere. My solution has been to look for a church where I can relate to the people. I am atheist, so belief shouldn't be an obstacle to joining a church that has good people. Good churches offer an alternative to mainstream American culture. I went with a Greek Orthodox church but you could look around. This is also for your kids. You will lose control of your kids as they grow up and they are likely to turn into American monsters if you can't provide them with a better social circle.

To Mark Edward Davis, I have the same advice if you feel as I do about American culture. At the least, you might want to visit a Russian Orthodox service with your wife.

Exactly! I mentioned the same idea in many threads already. I want my kids to grow up in another country until they hit age 18, so they escape social isolation, poisoned food and terrible childhood. I am not sure what Mark is thinking about this, but I agree with your post 100%.
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Postby djfourmoney » Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:14 am

Konradzsky wrote:Then get the f**k out of America. I'm tired of these complaints. It's same thing with fat f***s, blah blah blah it's so hard to exercise. Blah blah blah I can't stop eating junk food. CRY ME A RIVER.

You can't change American women. They are who they are. All these complaints are becoming redundant and circular. Make plans to get the f**k out and shut the f**k up.

You can't make new friends? Well sad day for you. The closest people you trust will betray you and you'll feel the pain of being a sucka.

Life is a seriously deadly game of winning. Only losers of life complain and whine about shit they can't change.

The truth is nobody cares about your problems and YOU need to gain self-esteem from YOURSELF.


Are these really self-esteem issues or something getting in your way?

I am not in the business of changing hearts and minds really, save for people I sort of know. This is why I share my information and opinions on this web site.

How is life a seriously deadly game of Winning? Did you have a hard upbringing? I've had it good, standard middle class, not wanting for anything. I would say life is whatever you want it to be to a point. You can just wake up and say I want a 4,000 sq ft home and 4 cars. You'll have to find out how to do that. You'll find 9 times out of 10, you'll have to f**k some people over to get to that point... Or you'll have to measure your desires, there people in rural Ohio with 2,000 sq ft homes and 4 cars, maybe one of them is recent (less than 5 years old) and one of the other three doesn't run.

People sometimes need to complain first before taking action, its normal.

You being a Drill Sargent will work on some but not on most.
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Postby have2fly » Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:16 pm

Life is a seriously deadly game of winning. Only losers of life complain and whine about shit they can't change.

The truth is nobody cares about your problems and YOU need to gain self-esteem from YOURSELF.


Do you even understand that there thousands of American men that think they are the problem and they have NO IDEA why they are so lonely? I felt the same way, but I did live abroad, so I could compare, but American media and Americans around would point that I have to work harder and make myself better. So I did. But it changed nothing! Then I found this forum which supported my feelings and my experience. THAT'S why it is important to share, because there are thousands, if not millions of American men out there that have no idea of how bad the society is.

I am not changing American women, but this forum is made for support, right? So how can we support and give advices to people if we don't even know their story? Complaining about American women is great, it brings RAGE, FEAR and finally POWER to change your life and move abroad or just find a foreign wife. This forum, in its essence, does the same job that psychologists do in America. How many frustrated upset and depressed men come here everyday? I am certain that we had saved some guys from committing a suicide or/and becoming homeless.

Oh, you should join the Army and ask to have 5-year non-stop drill. Sounds like a dream lifestyle for you.
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Postby have2fly » Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:58 am

Again shows how shallow you are! Why in the hell 95% of foreign girls from Europe GET FAT upon moving to the U.S.? Why Europeans NEVER work out in their lifetime and still look much better and natural compared to Americans, who work out regularly? Look at this girl! She has no six pack, but I find her body AMAZING! Pic is from Winston's website BTW.

Being fat is not a choice for many people in America, did you ever try veggies in other countries? Say Italy or France? Where tomatoes smell better than American oranges? I ate french fries in France, BEST thing I ever ate in my life! I am not seeing French working out everyday! And they eat twice as much as Americans do!

Of course if you pound ice cream and sweets you will get fat in any country, but American food is not natural at all! As I said, there is a reason why immigrants get fat in America and there is a reason why those girls in Europe look so beautiful and natural, without huge toned biceps like American girls do! These pictures are showing average girls in Russia or Ukraine. These would be VERY hot in America, we all know it.

This one is from Russia:
Image

This one is from Ukraine:
Image
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Postby chileanueva » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:14 pm

Lazy women always complain. GO GET A JOB! Stop spending your man's hard-earned money.

Get off the sofa, stop watching TV, and DO SOME REAL WORK.
"Stop talking. Just Do It." - ME

"Treat women like shit because they are lying, manipulating, cheating whores." - ME
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Postby Billy » Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:46 pm

Chile is not as wrong as you put him.

Millions of people would kill to come to the US. Thousands of africans die on their way to the west. Why did she not stay in her beloved ukraine? Because of money? Yeah that´s it. America is rich because they are addicted to money.

Sometimes one has to show the elephant in the room. Everybody has the same oppinion here sometimes. You guys are more in line than the guys from stormfront. She can always go back to her home country.

Sorry I had to make the devil´s advocate here. I am living without friends here now for years. I have no partner. So what? Should I cry. Will anybody take me in his arms? Get real.

Chile, gangster for life till being banned, bro ;-)

Though good luck to Ambient ;-)
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Postby ambient » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:16 am

Wow..This thread has taken quite interesting turn. :) To those that understood me, thank you. To those that don't - your miserable, mean, angry posts speak volumes. I came here to express my frustrations to people who likely understand what I have been going through. I have nobody to talk to -nor I would, for that matter ,even if I could - and it felt like a piece of safe haven where I could rant about frustrations and depression that has been eating me up for about 7 years now without outlet.

I have never spent a CENT without my husband's agreement, I rarely get to sit down on the couch (I have four children, remember, from age 6 to age 1) - we don't even have TV subscription to sit around and watch sitcoms all day. I have been mothering my children, far better than the average american woman, without ANY family support (minus my wonderful husband), without a real social network..I have been homeschooling (my oldest daughter is about a year ahead in many subjects..and even my 4 year old is done with kindergarten..all of this I am doing on my 2nd language). I wish I could work to bring in money and help our family but I am not letting my precious children become complete strangers, which I am sure they will once they become bricks in the wall in this messed up school system and society. I have made a lot of sacrifices to be together with my husband, and so did he. I can not sacrifice my children to this system. It would make everything seem meaningless, all that we've been through to be able to be together.

I know sooner or later even this will shatter and they'll become part of society here. I have no illusions. I am just trying to be positive against all odds.

Thank you to those that understood. For the rest of you, I am sorry if my innocent post made you THIS angry, bitter and beside yourself. I fear it has a lot more to do with your peaceless souls than my harmless plea for sympathy or help.

Greetings!
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Postby ambient » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:33 am

Oh and by the way, Konradzsky...I would be more than happy to get out, if I could, unfortunately the EU makes it borderline impossible for my husband to get a job over there. No offense but without my husband and children I can't get out..and don't want to get out, and no amount of angry posts will be able to change my mind about that.
Your second option was - to deal with it. With a minimal amount of wisdom or at least intelligence, anyone can recognize this topic as an attempt to "deal with it" - first, by realizing finally (!) after all these years what the problem really IS. Thanks to this website and Winston's insightful collection of other immigrants' opinions - I am now finally aware of what the problem is. And I am trying to deal with it. Being able to talk about it was one of the most important part of dealing with it to come to a solution. You must be a really calloused-hearted person if you can't see this.

If someone buys a merchandise that had major hidden flaws, atleast the person should be able to complain and discuss these negative experiences with others. I did not come here to become rich (seriously! I have an apartment at home that I'll eventually inherit, I had a job..oh and I was extremely rich in the terms of having great extended family and true friends..) I came here because I was raised with the mindset that true love can conquer all. I have been faithful to my promise, as was my husband. He is a wonderful man and like I said in the past, he does not deserve me being depressed and living in the twilight zone just because neither of us really realized the major (!!!) flaws of the US society prior to having this eye opening experience within our marriage.

I apologize if my posts offended you in any way. I did not even dare to dream that it'd offend anyone, and once again, I apologize. I would appreciate if you did the same for me.
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