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A probable situation: If she offers to come visit & meet

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A probable situation: If she offers to come visit & meet

Postby jcris7 » Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:33 pm

The topic thread says it all. I am, on all counts, in principle and practice, against marrying a foreigner (Filipinas in my case -- that's what I'm interested in) and bringing her back to the US for obvious reasons we all know about. But what if, through the course of talking to someone you were interested in, before you actually met in person, that she offers to come visit you in the US on a tourist visa? (and travel expenses are on her dime, not yours)

Could this be advantageous, or opening a can of worms?

Anyone can chime in on this one. Your opinions, theories and actual first hand experiences with this situation are welcomed! Its one base I'd like to have covered just in case it happens to me.
"Women age like milk; Men age like wine." - Tom Leykis
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Postby Hook » Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:52 pm

I would give the chances of that happening around the same as finding a pink unicorn, or even less likely, a high quality woman in the USA.

If it happens, a two week vacation isn't gonna change her, so go for it.

Almost always when you hear stories about such things, it is a scam where she asks for money for the plane ticket, visas, etc. Of course she never shows up.

So don't EVER give money to someone you haven't met at least a few time for ANY reason at all. Not for a sick mother, or a plane ticket, or anything.
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Re: A probable situation: If she offers to come visit &

Postby OutWest » Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:14 am

jcris7 wrote:The topic thread says it all. I am, on all counts, in principle and practice, against marrying a foreigner (Filipinas in my case -- that's what I'm interested in) and bringing her back to the US for obvious reasons we all know about. But what if, through the course of talking to someone you were interested in, before you actually met in person, that she offers to come visit you in the US on a tourist visa? (and travel expenses are on her dime, not yours)

Could this be advantageous, or opening a can of worms?

Anyone can chime in on this one. Your opinions, theories and actual first hand experiences with this situation are welcomed! Its one base I'd like to have covered just in case it happens to me.


The chances of meeting a filipina who can get a tourist visa is extremely small. The vast vast majority will not qualify.
The yardstick for qualifying is a tough one- basically you have to have assets and connections in the Philippines to the point
where the US embassy is convinced you will actually return to the Philippines when your tourist visa is done.
Seriously, if you are talking to a girl who in fact has or can get a tourist visa, you are already talking to one of the elite.
It is a very small group that would qualify for a visa- so proceed with caution. If she asks for money for that supposed tourist visa/ticket
then dump her at once. Those who actually qualify have little trouble affording it.
That said, I have met really nice Filipinas who in fact did have visas.
Generally, it is the US man who needs to do the traveling early on,,,


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Postby jcris7 » Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:17 am

Hook wrote:I would give the chances of that happening around the same as finding a pink unicorn, or even less likely, a high quality woman in the USA.

If it happens, a two week vacation isn't gonna change her, so go for it.

Almost always when you hear stories about such things, it is a scam where she asks for money for the plane ticket, visas, etc. Of course she never shows up.

So don't EVER give money to someone you haven't met at least a few time for ANY reason at all. Not for a sick mother, or a plane ticket, or anything.


Hook you crack me up man! Hilarious but also true metaphor. Especially if she comes from a family that has very limited financial means, and in the Philippines, this is very common. I've had my share of potential ladies ask for money within the first 5 minutes of getting to know them. They get dropped faster than a hot potato. There are genuine girls, but you have to screen. This weeds out the desperate money grabbers. I treat the pre-meet phase like an extensive interview. Just because you may have chemistry on cam-chat doesn't mean that translates to real life, organic experience and interaction. However, the real girls will have a vibe you can click with, and the communication is usually very open, and there is a minimal language barrier. Some you can really get into great discussions with about life and intellectual topics, I've found. But that is usually because they are college educated and have their own careers. Winston and several others who actually have experience going to the Philippines say to shoot for the more educated ones. Brains are just as important as beauty.

I never send money AT ALL -- NEVER. I can see how you could, work the situation to your favor with a potential interest that wants to visit you as an acid test; you can see how much she really wants to meet. But you have to stick to your guns and not give in to any monetary request, like you said.

Yeah...a two week vacation I don't see her picking up on the Western woman's feminazi ways that quickly. I say...if she comes out on her dime, and her dime only, it could work, and milk it for what it's worth.
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Re: A probable situation: If she offers to come visit &

Postby davewe » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:15 pm

In my current cam chatting mania off of Cherry Blossoms I have had 2 women so far claim they have passports and Visas and 1 claim she has her passport and can get a travel visa, and that they would happily prove to me they already had them. All 3 women are nurses, so its possible. With one nurse, I went so far as to ask how she got the travel visa and she had an explanation that might have been plausible.

But the bigger question is why do they want to travel here instead of having me travel there? I found it surprising. Possible reasons: the nurses want to check out the job market in the U.S. which for nurses is very good; they genuinely think coming to see me gives them a leg up on my other chatmates; they want a vacation paid for by me; they want to see what America is actually like. None of them wanted to come just to see what I am like. They all made it clear that I am the one for them and that they would be mine once they arrived. Perhaps there's some truth to it, but I am skeptical.

I have continued chatting with them to see if they will trip themselves up and just how far they will go to get me to agree to have them come see me. One has become a bit desperate and now tries to convince me with comments on how her body will feel next to mine. And a nice body it is lol!

Of course I would never send cash - that's just obvious.

jcris7 wrote:The topic thread says it all. I am, on all counts, in principle and practice, against marrying a foreigner (Filipinas in my case -- that's what I'm interested in) and bringing her back to the US for obvious reasons we all know about. But what if, through the course of talking to someone you were interested in, before you actually met in person, that she offers to come visit you in the US on a tourist visa? (and travel expenses are on her dime, not yours)

Could this be advantageous, or opening a can of worms?

Anyone can chime in on this one. Your opinions, theories and actual first hand experiences with this situation are welcomed! Its one base I'd like to have covered just in case it happens to me.
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Postby E_Irizarry » Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:47 pm

@jcris7,

I had a Chinese girl whom had on a Canadian green card visit me for a week in Wisconsin while I was working on a programming temp assignment in Madison, Wisconsin back in 2005.

I guess that's different than a Pinay that doesn't have a lot of money that is in the Philippines and you're in the U.S. of Gay.
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Re: A probable situation: If she offers to come visit &

Postby davewe » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:21 am

An update: One of the women was so hot to see me and insistent that she had the documentation that I told her to email me pics of the passport and visa. I expected that she would go away but to my surprise she in fact sent me the pic.

However, the Visa was 3 1/2 years old meaning I assume she has been trying to get someone to bring her here for a long time. And her passport showed that she was 5 years older than her stated age on Cherry Blossoms. That did it for me.

But maybe I ought to start asking all the girls to send me their documentation.

davewe wrote:In my current cam chatting mania off of Cherry Blossoms I have had 2 women so far claim they have passports and Visas and 1 claim she has her passport and can get a travel visa, and that they would happily prove to me they already had them. All 3 women are nurses, so its possible. With one nurse, I went so far as to ask how she got the travel visa and she had an explanation that might have been plausible.

But the bigger question is why do they want to travel here instead of having me travel there? I found it surprising. Possible reasons: the nurses want to check out the job market in the U.S. which for nurses is very good; they genuinely think coming to see me gives them a leg up on my other chatmates; they want a vacation paid for by me; they want to see what America is actually like. None of them wanted to come just to see what I am like. They all made it clear that I am the one for them and that they would be mine once they arrived. Perhaps there's some truth to it, but I am skeptical.

I have continued chatting with them to see if they will trip themselves up and just how far they will go to get me to agree to have them come see me. One has become a bit desperate and now tries to convince me with comments on how her body will feel next to mine. And a nice body it is lol!

Of course I would never send cash - that's just obvious.

jcris7 wrote:The topic thread says it all. I am, on all counts, in principle and practice, against marrying a foreigner (Filipinas in my case -- that's what I'm interested in) and bringing her back to the US for obvious reasons we all know about. But what if, through the course of talking to someone you were interested in, before you actually met in person, that she offers to come visit you in the US on a tourist visa? (and travel expenses are on her dime, not yours)

Could this be advantageous, or opening a can of worms?

Anyone can chime in on this one. Your opinions, theories and actual first hand experiences with this situation are welcomed! Its one base I'd like to have covered just in case it happens to me.
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Re: A probable situation: If she offers to come visit &

Postby jcris7 » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:37 pm

davewe wrote:However, the Visa was 3 1/2 years old meaning I assume she has been trying to get someone to bring her here for a long time. And her passport showed that she was 5 years older than her stated age on Cherry Blossoms. That did it for me.

But maybe I ought to start asking all the girls to send me their documentation.



DUN! DUN! DUN! Another one bites the dust! She lied about her age. No man should have to tolerate dishonesty.
"Women age like milk; Men age like wine." - Tom Leykis
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Postby pete98146 » Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:04 am

Before I starting chatting with my current wife, I chatted for 6 months with a young gal from Singapore. She came from a wealthy family and worked at IBM. Lo and behold she did come visit me on her dime 6 years ago. We had fun but she was tooooo Americanized for my likes. Plus I'm convinced that anybody from a wealthy family has a minimum standard of living that I'd have a tough time supporting.

She was upset that I didn't want to take the relationship to the next level. Last I heard she got married to a guy from Australia.

Soon after I met my wife online. Like Outwest stated, she would have had a very difficult time getting a tourist visa and even if she could get one there is no way she'd be able to afford an airline ticket on her $300 a month salary. But that's ok, I was more than happy to go visit her in Cebu.
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Re: A probable situation: If she offers to come visit &

Postby davewe » Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:02 pm

jcris7 wrote:
davewe wrote:However, the Visa was 3 1/2 years old meaning I assume she has been trying to get someone to bring her here for a long time. And her passport showed that she was 5 years older than her stated age on Cherry Blossoms. That did it for me.

But maybe I ought to start asking all the girls to send me their documentation.



DUN! DUN! DUN! Another one bites the dust! She lied about her age. No man should have to tolerate dishonesty.


I dont mind a tiny white lie - but 5 years is a lot. Her profile said 24 and she was 29 almost 30.

What do I mean by a tiny lie? When I first met my Kenyan girl, she was 22 but told me she was 23. I think she was afraid I'd think she was too young. Now that was a lie I can live with.
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