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Realistic age gap in relationships?

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Re: Lala land

Postby Rock » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:56 am

steve55 wrote:
polya wrote:Your living in a dream world to think age doesn't matter to foreign women - they actually want a nice looking young man too - however, they will be more willing to accept an older man if he has other qualities like he's faithful, nind, not a drunk. Unlike US women who won't accept less than the perfect guy - like the sex and the city girls said: "Why should I settle [for him], when I can have everything I want" This "dream" sums up trashy US women better than anything I've seen.


Well, filipinas are actually an exception. For them marriage is more about family and faith, so maturity is very valued. With western woman, its about youth , looks, and flash and level of employment. Im no expert on russian or Latin woman's age preferences but I suspect they run somewhere between Western and Filipina preferences. Ive had 9 years of experience in asking all kinds of questions of filipinas, to see what they are are really like and want. Fact is, most filipinas DO want a guy 10-15 years her senior, and will "tolerate" or be receptive and open to a guy 20-30 yrs her senior, this applies whether the man is a filipino or a foreigner. Go see the desired age preferences of filipinas on cherry blossoms or other filipina sites. About 30-40% dont say "any age ", but for example, a early 20's girls will say "looking for age 35 to 50. They will actually get specific. If t hey were just "desperate" they may not show any age preference and list "any age" but many do and when they do get specific, its a very large age gap they seek. They are very sensitive to wanting a man who is mature, knows how to raise a family, knows how to take care of things in life, who is less likely to party , cause a ruckus, and chase skirts etc. About Money? Well, sure , older guys are more financially stable and established, but its only a small factor in the "maturity" factor that they are so attracted to. They certainly dont think of it as "he's old so he must be loaded or well off, so Ill flex on the age thing". I havent researched the average age difference between filipinos and filipinas who m arry, but I would be shocked if most are less than 7-10 years apart. Maybe the CIA fact sheet would shed some light on that.


Perhaps that applies to the dirt poor province girls? Just walking through public areas and malls in Metro Manila area, I really never observed couples with an apparent age gap. Young girls were with young guys, older women with older men. Also, you gotta realize, white guys, for some reason, tend to go for girls not very popular with local guys. I've observed a similar dynamic in many poorer foreign countries. Naturally, the least popular local girls often tend to be less picky about age cus they are more desperate. So it works out well for both sides. The better qualified local guys pick-off the cream and the least attractive women often get passed over. Similarly, divorcees, single moms, and older women will also be more open to relationships with older white foreigners.
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Postby jamesbond » Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:04 am

If you look younger than your age, that really helps in attracting younger women. For example, if you are 45 but look 35, you can attract women in their early to mid twenties. Remember, people base how old you are on your appearence. A woman won't know how old you are, unless you tell her.

Here is a video of dating expert Don Steele with his much younger wife (who is 34 years younger than him) discussing the dating dynamics of older men with younger women. Don Steele wrote the book, "How to date young women for men over 35."


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68oE5O56tTI&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]
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Postby Rock » Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:27 am

jamesbond wrote:If you look younger than your age, that really helps in attracting younger women. For example, if you are 45 but look 35, you can attract women in their early to mid twenties. Remember, people base how old you are on your appearence. A woman won't know how old you are, unless you tell her.

Here is a video of dating expert Don Steele with his much younger wife (who is 34 years younger than him) discussing the dating dynamics of older men with younger women. Don Steele wrote the book, "How to date young women for men over 35."





Yes, but you will either have to lie to her tell her your real age within a date or two. And if you lie, its hard to hide it long term unless you are very casual with her (just occasional b***y call type of deal). When she finds out your age, she may freak-out and bail, either cus she can't accept the gap and/or cus you lied to her about something important.

As for Don Steele, be careful. The guy is very 'old school' and does not advocate dating women who don't speak the 'king's English' (foreign women). One of his disciples was that Sodini guy who killed a few women in the gym then committed suicide. That very book you mention appears on his living room coffee table in one of his Youtube vids.
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Postby davewe » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:15 am

jamesbond wrote:If you look younger than your age, that really helps in attracting younger women. For example, if you are 45 but look 35, you can attract women in their early to mid twenties. Remember, people base how old you are on your appearence. A woman won't know how old you are, unless you tell her.


Remember almost by definition a middle aged American is gonna look a lot younger than a middle aged man from a 3rd world country, who has had a far more difficult life, so if you are lets say 50, you are already gonna look younger - that is presuming you are not falling apart!
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Postby Rock » Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:56 pm

davewe wrote:
jamesbond wrote:If you look younger than your age, that really helps in attracting younger women. For example, if you are 45 but look 35, you can attract women in their early to mid twenties. Remember, people base how old you are on your appearence. A woman won't know how old you are, unless you tell her.


Remember almost by definition a middle aged American is gonna look a lot younger than a middle aged man from a 3rd world country, who has had a far more difficult life, so if you are lets say 50, you are already gonna look younger - that is presuming you are not falling apart!


That certainly applies to PI. But you would be surprised at how well men age in certain other parts of the world. Generally, Nordic Caucasians age more poorly than many people from other backgrounds. For example, they have thinner skin than blacks and east Asians which means they tend to wrinkle at younger ages. That problem is compounded by a lack of protective skin pigment which makes them more prone to sun damage and premature aging. Male whites also have a higher prevalence of male pattern baldness.

In particular, some blacks age amazingly well. I've seen many 40-50 something dudes in parts of Africa with nearly flawless skin and fantastic body tone. They have natural advantages - thick sun resistant skin, higher testosterone levels, bigger muscles and bones, and lower rates of hair loss. Right now, I am in Petionville, Haiti, one of the world's poorest countries. Even here, you see many young looking middle aged people. The only indication of age you get for the best preserved (if not revealed in conversation) tends to be some grey in their hair.

East Asians have thicker and better skin too. But a lot of the men let themselves go by middle age and develop the businessman/boss paunch and combine that with bad dressing habits. But who knows, maybe some Asian chicks dig the balding pot bellied big boss look, lol.
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Postby djfourmoney » Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:21 am

Rock wrote:
davewe wrote:
jamesbond wrote:If you look younger than your age, that really helps in attracting younger women. For example, if you are 45 but look 35, you can attract women in their early to mid twenties. Remember, people base how old you are on your appearence. A woman won't know how old you are, unless you tell her.


Remember almost by definition a middle aged American is gonna look a lot younger than a middle aged man from a 3rd world country, who has had a far more difficult life, so if you are lets say 50, you are already gonna look younger - that is presuming you are not falling apart!


That certainly applies to PI. But you would be surprised at how well men age in certain other parts of the world. Generally, Nordic Caucasians age more poorly than many people from other backgrounds. For example, they have thinner skin than blacks and east Asians which means they tend to wrinkle at younger ages. That problem is compounded by a lack of protective skin pigment which makes them more prone to sun damage and premature aging. Male whites also have a higher prevalence of male pattern baldness.

In particular, some blacks age amazingly well. I've seen many 40-50 something dudes in parts of Africa with nearly flawless skin and fantastic body tone. They have natural advantages - thick sun resistant skin, higher testosterone levels, bigger muscles and bones, and lower rates of hair loss. Right now, I am in Petionville, Haiti, one of the world's poorest countries. Even here, you see many young looking middle aged people. The only indication of age you get for the best preserved (if not revealed in conversation) tends to be some grey in their hair.

East Asians have thicker and better skin too. But a lot of the men let themselves go by middle age and develop the businessman/boss paunch and combine that with bad dressing habits. But who knows, maybe some Asian chicks dig the balding pot bellied big boss look, lol.


This is mostly true and I look young for my age, often mistaken of being in my late 20's, when I'm 41. Just a touch of grey, no crows feet or anything like that. if I keep closely shaved (facial hair) then I can pass for 25 of so. There strains of grey popping up in my hair but the case is the same, keep it cut short and this isn't a problem.

That's why I want to complete my mission before it gets any worst and hurts my chances.

Most of the women I come into contract with are in their late 20's. Every so often I get women as young as 21-22, but that's fairly rare and usually only single mothers that young are interested in me.

Using the formula previously posted that I had forgotten about, the age I should be looking at is 27.5. As I said most women around 30, don't mind a 10-12-15 age difference. What they are looking for is stability and maturity.

What Google said is the changing dynamic in FSU, most women now days, those in their early to mid 20's do want men around that age. The problem with the MOB industry is that the average age of men according to the data Mark gathered for one of his podcast is 39. Google sister doesn't sound like she's married minded. I have found when women it doesn't matter what culture she's in, start seriously considering marriage the age gap grows slightly, from 2-5 years to 5-7 years, maybe an even 10 years age difference.

Most of the concerned with age gaps is popular culture commonality (music, movies, tv shows) and different stages of development (he wants children, your not sure still).

This is why talking to (interviewing) women is ultra important and deal breakers must be kept in place and don't let the small head take over thinking for the large head.

All that said, on reputable sites the average age gap is right around 10-15 years. So me getting a message from somebody as young as 25 happens more than you might think it does. But I also seem to attract women in their late 30's, early 40's like I seem to do in America, funny. Seems I have to spell my shit out better, I want to have children, that means your profile can't say I have two children already and having more is irrelevant, that's just not going to work.
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Postby colibri » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:50 pm

hmm from my personal experience , i would say 8 years of diference , here in Mexico , so u could ask to a 18-19 gilr for a date :) here
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Postby djfourmoney » Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:58 pm

Basically it goes like this -

Assuming you have no serious, known health issues, in-shape to maybe 10-15lbs overweight, have a youthful appearance and aren't broke (if you're traveling that likely isn't the case anyway I think they understand that), rules of thumb are -

Latin America - 10-15 years (If you under 40 and are what I mentioned)

North America, UK, Canada, AU/NZ - 5-7 years

Asia and SE Asia, Pacific - 10-15 years

Eastern Europe - 5-10 years if under 25, 10-15 over 25

Western Europe - 5-10 years if under 25, 10-15 over 25

This is based on couples I know and personal experience. The only thing that would askew that for Western Europeans is that two of my friends are married to men around their age (both women over 30, husbands at least 35). In both cases they are typical Western Europeans neither of them have children....

I am focused on Western Europe mostly for economic reasons, but I feel I can find somebody late 20's, early 30's without children or with one child willing to have more. These are deal breakers and no woman has sold me on being childless. Rather than sell me they accept I am not for them and move on.
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Postby adria2789 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:41 am

colibri wrote:hmm from my personal experience , i would say 8 years of diference , here in Mexico , so u could ask to a 18-19 gilr for a date :) here


I agree with colibri. Your ideal age gap is around 7-8 years since you are 26(?) the youngest to consider are 18-19 years old girls. In Latin American cultures, larger age gaps are acceptable (10-15 years)

A few examples come to mind:
My father is 7 years older than my mom.
My uncle is 11 years older than my aunt.
My friend's dad is 13 years older than her mom (but they met when they were 13 and 26....not a good idea. )

I think 15 years is the limit...after that, it is less common. My mom's friend (who is 27) is dating 64 year old man...but again, not very common. Unless you are rich and/if the girl is single mom (the case with my mom's friend)
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Postby OutWest » Sun Jan 01, 2012 9:17 am

adria2789 wrote:
colibri wrote:hmm from my personal experience , i would say 8 years of diference , here in Mexico , so u could ask to a 18-19 gilr for a date :) here


I agree with colibri. Your ideal age gap is around 7-8 years since you are 26(?) the youngest to consider are 18-19 years old girls. In Latin American cultures, larger age gaps are acceptable (10-15 years)

A few examples come to mind:
My father is 7 years older than my mom.
My uncle is 11 years older than my aunt.
My friend's dad is 13 years older than her mom (but they met when they were 13 and 26....not a good idea. )

I think 15 years is the limit...after that, it is less common. My mom's friend (who is 27) is dating 64 year old man...but again, not very common. Unless you are rich and/if the girl is single mom (the case with my mom's friend)


The "Problem" often lies with the people around vs the two people involved. I am 51 and my wife is 24.
Middle age anglo-bitches and other busy-bodies get their panties in an uproar...then again, we dont
live where their opinions make much difference. Why be obsessed with what others say is "acceptable"?
Find what you want and make it your own....why live the opinions of others?


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Postby jamesbond » Sun Jan 01, 2012 3:10 pm

OutWest wrote:The "Problem" often lies with the people around vs the two people involved. I am 51 and my wife is 24.
Middle age anglo-bitches and other busy-bodies get their panties in an uproar...then again, we dont
live where their opinions make much difference. Why be obsessed with what others say is "acceptable"?
Find what you want and make it your own....why live the opinions of others?

Outwest

That's true, who gives a crap what other people think about dating a woman who is a lot younger than you. Your wife is 24 and you are 51, your both happy and who cares what other people think. I personally prefer women in their early to mid twenties and there are women out there (even in the US) who are ok with a big age difference.

I look a lot younger than my age, as a matter of fact my dermatologist thought I was 30 but I am 42. Co-workers think I am between 25 and 30. So I can pull girls as young as early 20's with no problems. :D

Look at Mark Davis, his wife is 23 and he is 48, they got married when she was 20 and he was 45. When they first met, she was 19 and he was 44. She said a big age diference is not a problem as long as you truly love the person.

I am looking forward to marrying a young, beautiful foreign girl someday! :D
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Postby onezero4u » Sun Jan 01, 2012 5:15 pm

wow 34 year gap....gotta admit...don steele's wife has got an amazing rack.

he seems very self assured & obviously she finds that attractive
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Postby Rock » Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:39 pm

When I went to Cagayan de Oro, I stayed in the home of a 59 year old Japanese guy who had been married to a very cute 5'6" 29 year old Filipina for 10 years. I was told by her sister that after a year or so together, she began to love him. They have two kids together too. When I was there, I felt she treated him with respect and affection and was very happy to live there with him and near her extended family. She was very nice to me too and spoke excellent English even though her husband's English is still very broken and basic.
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Postby djfourmoney » Sun Jan 01, 2012 10:13 pm

Rock wrote:When I went to Cagayan de Oro, I stayed in the home of a 59 year old Japanese guy who had been married to a very cute 5'6" 29 year old Filipina for 10 years. I was told by her sister that after a year or so together, she began to love him. They have two kids together too. When I was there, I felt she treated him with respect and affection and was very happy to live there with him and near her extended family. She was very nice to me too and spoke excellent English even though her husband's English is still very broken and basic.


How many native Japanese do you know speak good English?????????? While from what I can tell most Flips can speak decent to fluent English.
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Postby The_Hero_of_Men » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:54 am

colibri wrote:hmm from my personal experience , i would say 8 years of diference , here in Mexico , so u could ask to a 18-19 gilr for a date :) here


Colibri,



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