Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.
8 posts • Page 1 of 1
Its been a while since i posted anything. but Winstons new essay about who issue of having children was a real treat. thanks man!!
I will get to the point. I'm very attracted to russian and ukraine women. But i really don't want to have any children. I only want marriage.
let me say this. I don't hate kids. And i don't hate the idea of good family relations. Its just that i've had negative family experiences most of my life, And i just turned 29. My immediate family as well as extended family is very dysfunctional and i didn't enjoy my childhood-teenhood. Heck i didn't even enjoy my early 20's. i've also hadto take alot of emotional and verbal abuse from parents/family. I have been give nthe opportunity to return to business school. And it looks like i may have a successful career.
BUt I just really want to enjoy the remainder of my life. Aside from doing physical fitness and having a career, i want to do serious charity work too o and focus on doing positve things. And i feel that by doing that i will build strong relationships with people that will heal the wounds from my negative family experiences.
and i just want to find that idealistic woman whoi can fit into that situation.
and with added expense and sacrifice of raising children today and all the other things that winston brought up in his last essay. i just don't want to be a father.
But i have a huge problem. i see now that FSU women are very family oriented. I accept the fact that its apart of their culture. having babies.
I had a guy who runs a marriage/dating agency explain to me that marrying a girl in her 20's and not having babies is out of the question. He did say however i should aim at women in their middle 30's. he explained that because in the russian/ukraine culture women consider 30 years old to be an OLD age.
and by then a woman will less likely want to have a child when she gets in that range. Is that a good rationalization?
recently a guy who runs a dating agency in Poltava Ukraine did me favor. He connected me with a girl who was leaving his website/database. And
essentially after talking with her for a few weeks. i brought up my feelings about not having kids. She got very offended and stopped communicating with me. And even the matchmaker guy got alittle upset and tried to talk me out of my decision to not have babies.
So my overall question is this.
Am I wasting my time trying to get an attractive russian/ukraine woman in her middle 30's who doesn't have a problem with not having kids?
i'm attracted to russian/ukraine because i figure my chances of having a beautiful woman with great personality and other qualities is greater. But if i cannot get around the children issue then
Should i look at other cultures instead of the FSU?
Should i try to get a woman who has a career as opposed to the small town woman?
i only ask because i'm learning russian language right now and i really want to get to know if i'm wasting my time.[url][/url][/b]
i also notice something. The really attractive russian and ukraine women who are in their mid 30's usually are single mothers looking for a man. is what i want unreasonable?
No, you are not wasting your time. There are women that CANNOT have children, there are women that simply do not want to have children. There are those that are still young and want to enjoy life. Russia/FSU will be a great place, you can find all kinds of women there. However, keep in mind that when you have no children, there are less things that holds a woman with you for a long term. So if you are planning to get married for a lifetime, it becomes more complicated.
I would talk to girls in Russia/FSU and actually directly ask them in first or second letter - do you absolutely want children or not? Don't be afraid, girls love openness over there. No one will call you "creepy" for asking such questions.
thanks man. that's encouraging. i accept the fact that what i want is not easily attainable. but i'm willing to work at it.
I can't comment on Russian/Ukranian women specifically. But my filipina girlfriend wasn't interested in having kids. She was in her late 20 when we were going out. I also have a couple of Colombian female friends in their mid 20s who don't want kids. Women in the philippines and in colombia are just as family oriented (maybe more so) than FSU women. So just cause a culture is family oriented, you can easily find women who don't want kids.
I'm pretty much the same, I've never wanted kids. I've never particularly wanted to get married either. Unfortunately though most women will want them and want to get married. They are going to want them, whatever the country. Although I do know what you mean about Russian women, from what I have seen they seem to be really keen on marriage/kids. It's tricky really. In Asia they are very family orientated also. It's one of those things that is difficult to bring up with someone when you just meet them as well. If you go on a website like plenty of fish you can search for women who don't want kids. That site isn't really ideal for finding foreign women but you could give it a go. It would be good if a few other websites primarily with foreign women had that kind of search facility.
There will be some out there who don't want them. There must be, but it's just going to be a bit harder finding them.
Use a website like Russian Euro - you can find women in the "not sure" category.
Plenty of women don't want kids, but it's best to look in the 28-35 age range for them.
You might also change your mind about not having kids - this is more common than you might think .
I'm 32 now and have always felt that way so I doubt I will change. People say you will change if you meet someone...it might be possible I guess, but nothing about having kids has ever appealed to me. I think people like me are just nature's way of keeping the population down.
Is the Russian Euro one free to use? I'm on a few free ones but none of them even have the option to state on their profiles if they want them or not, let alone a search feature. It seems like a fairly important thing to me. And yet they have the option to state their star sign etc haha