Ask questions and get advice, or share advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following someone's advice here.
Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's already been addressed.
i don't have children...yet. But I don't know... maybe i would regret it years later?
Like... I know women want kids...it's like they are programmed to want them...
what happens if when I'm 40...50...60.... will i look back wishing i had kids?
No kids man! If your partner asks for kids, tell them to give you a good reason, most women won't have them. BTW, your continuing legacy isn't an excuse to have children!
Unless you have some very special reason, don't EVER have any children!!! They'll suck the life out of you! I'm dead serious! DON'T DO IT!
Why do I say this? Because people, especially westerners, don't realize what kids require to live until their teens: YOU! They WILL steal a good chunk of your life, just to take care of them. Kids are only good for slave labor. Plus, medically, they make your partners look uglier.
seriously think about how bad you want kids before committing to that lifetime of money, agravation time and energy bottomless pit.
unless you are obsessed with the idea of having kids....dont even think about it.
Last edited by onezero4u on Fri Jun 15, 2012 4:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
so... if you don't have kids... who will care for you when you're old? Cause you might need help and maybe you can't afford to stay in an retirement home...
So if you're 60,70,80 then what? what's life like then when you're all alone?
If you're too disabled to be active and you need someone to take care of you, I'd recommend taking yourself to the afterlife in the most pleasant way possible. All lives are made a joke by death's beckoning and if you haven't accomplished anything valuable(which most don't), you'd be a fool to delay the punchline. Are you scared about what will happen when it finally arrives?
If you're lucky, you can have your partner's children from other fathers. But otherwise I'd suggest you'd prepare for the latter half of your life wisely, and start living an impeccable life from now on, if you really value your later years. Many people over the age of 60 live incredible lives being healthy and active... it's not difficult, but it ain't a cakewalk either.
OTOH, I can totally understand those elderly, who've wasted their lives and now face the end, where nearly all their negative life decisions come back to them, taking their toll on them ...until they give up.
I have thought about this too. What is life like if you don't have kids and your old and all alone and don't have any children to look after you?
This is one song I don't want to be singing when I am a senior citizen!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
Great question! I'm 50 years old and I don't have any kids. That doesn't mean that when I retire overseas in 8-10 years that me and my wife won't have a kid as it's MUCH cheaper to raise a child when you are away from the US.
I remember the first time I went to visit my wife in Phils. I sat right next to a guy who was also from Seattle. He was in his late 50s. He has gotten a divorce and his kids moved out and left him with a huge empty house. He sold everything he had and moved to Saigon and got married. He and his wife adopted 10 orphans and he said it was the most rewarding experience that he ever had.
So adopting kids would also be an option if we so desired.
Unless you really love kids and can't live without them, there's no reason to have them. They will burden you with trouble, annoy you, suck your energy and resources, take away your freedom and peace of mind, etc. Lots of trouble. And you will get nothing for it. No tangible reward or gain, only an emotional one. So basically, you put up with a lot of trouble and hardship for many years, for nothing and no gain.
You also have to be a giver and self-sacrificing type, because kids will require lots of giving and sacrificing.
But even if you love kids, you can't know what kind of kid you will have. Some kids are really difficult to handle and live with. You can't choose their personality. They could have the most difficult personality if you are unlucky.
Also, their problems will become yours, so if you don't want to carry their burdens, then it's best not to have them.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Hey, thanks for the great idea! Now guys have another options if family gets on their nerves.
I paid for 4 kids...two step children and two supposedly my own but no DNA test in divorce.
So I can speak with the authority of a man who has raised 4 kids.
DO NOT HAVE KIDS UNTIL WE HAVE SORTED OUT THIS MESS.
My two children, who were 14 and 16 at the time, refused to even take my merry christmas call.
I disowned all my former children and it nearly killed me.
The thing you need to remember is THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS.
THEY ARE HER KIDS.
I can not recommend children in good faith to ANY MAN.
The world would be a better pace if my two former daughters were not in it.
It is THAT BAD.
And I say that in my own name in public.
Feel free to check out my blog:Click ME!
Not that old saw....your kids will NOT look after you when you are old. I am PROOF of that.
My former children think that it was just fine how 95% of assets were given to their mother and I was impoverished.
When I was suicidal they could not even bother sending me an email.
My former children are totally and utterly disgusting. They are a disgrace. I did not teach them to be so. They decided to be so at the behest of their mother.
Life alone is GREAT. It is MUCH better than being married.
And when the kids are gone they will not bother contacting you.
In my own case?
I turned my back on my father for his being willing to invite criminals to my mothers funeral.
I made it clear that if he invited criminals to my mothers funeral I would not be there.
It was his preogative as to who to invite. It was my prerogative not to go.
He made his choice and he will now live with it.
Indeed. When I got the email that my mother had died I had no feelings and no concern about it at all. It was just "Ok, that's over, what's next".
Women who read this might want to wonder how much you have to abuse a man so that when his mother dies there is no sense of feeling, no sense of loss, not concern, not even a twinge. Nothing. THAT is what a lot of mothers have to look forward to from their sons on the event of their deaths.
Women demanded to be treated as "equals"? Well? When I was suicidal no western women, none of my so called "friends" called me or wrote me. So I treated my mothers death just like they treated me. Nothing. I hope they like it.
I will not be going to my fathers funeral. If he needs my help in his old age he is out of luck.
Why would I help him now after he has openly condoned and supported the abuse of his wife, his grand children and my criminal abuse?
He might have thought about those things before supporting abuse of his wife, his grand children and criminal abuse of his son.
And I really loved my father and he was a great father. I still want NOTHING to do with him or my brothers or anyone else in my former extended family.
They are nothing but a bunch of gutless pussies who will support criminal abuse of one of their own.
They do not deserve me in their family.
My new friends actually appreciate me and respect me.....
Feel free to check out my blog:Click ME!
My son is seven and has enriched my life in more ways than I can count. Yes there are sacrifices made, yes there are things I would like to do but cant at times. I have been divorced for five years and have had equal time with my son since the divorce. We do everything together (golf, tennis, camping, fishing, hiking) and he has become a true partner. Kids are what you put into them. If you do not take time and put effort into them they will be nothing but a burden.
"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity"!!!
Holy jesus...that's harsh. I mean... damn
i hear you but... maybe you were just lucky... to have a personality suited for having kids... cause Winston has a kid and.... well he has a totally different opinion. I think a lot of guys reading Winston's story are afraid to have kids now... cause they can easily see themselves being in his shoes. But... could someone who doesn't want kids grow to become a good loving father? If it's normal to want to reproduce then... is not wanting kids a mental disorder... or abnormal?
While kids to me certainly do seem like hard work with not much reward one close friend of mine has confided in me (after his kids have grown up and moved out btw) that the only thing he did right in his life was having and raising his kids.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests