Anyone tried to commit suicide ?

[chanta76]

The reason why I posted this is because I thought about it and I did try it once but I failed at it. I was to scared with the pain of the process of killing yourself. I still think about it. I think sometimes it maybe just general depression but also to some extent your environment does play a factor .

I don't want to go too much into details of my burdens because we all have them. Usually it is hope that keeps us going or the journey in discovering what will happen in the end.

But I notice some of the posters here tend to be how can I say in the negative scope of things. Just wondering if anyone did try .

[zboy1]

I did have thoughts of suicide when I was younger, but thankfully, I never went through with the process. I think honestly, most people would say they have had thoughts of suicide one or more times in their life, but were too afraid to carry it out in the end. As I become older, I realized what a completely selfish act it was, and that suicide was essentially an 'easy way out' of dealing with life. Also in Christianity and most other religions, suicide is a grave sin and a disgraceful thing to do not only to your family and friends, but to God as well.

[polya]

No, I've never thought of suicide because it's I'm not ill with some terrible disease like AIDs. However, people who do commit suicide don't go to hell, they simply return to the source as they have done their time here.

[Dark_Sol]

I'll be honest, cause what do I got to lose and f**k this system. I try to commit suicide, last one was almost succesful. end up in a coma for a month, all my organs failed, except my heart. Lost some feelings in parts of my body. That was back in late june and july of last year. State hospital did some shit that result in my left forearm flesh eaten and caught pneumonia, they got scared cause of the f**k up and dump my body in the VA hospital. There they try to fix me up and admitted that I was a tough SOB, major organs failed and pneumonia on top of that. Chance with suppose organ failed was 60% of survival.

Before that, I did that Lethal Weapon, put a pistol in my mouth and looked at a pic of my old buddies. To this day I see myself as a coward, can't go through with it. The government, my unit, society, friends and family branded me as trash, unnatural, not normal. I've been alone my whole life of women, what you call involuntary celibacy. My happiest moments of my life was in Peru, Thailand and Iraq, life was simple. Each day you felt alive, the small stuff brought a smile to your face, you felt at home. At state side, you want to commit suicide or worse.

MY problem as with you all, is that we're lonely and feel out of place. Most of the friends I have now left me. They never been overseas or was sheltered from the harsh reality of them. The friend of the sister I asked out, he doesn't call me and his girlfriend called me and accused me calling her, claiming I harass her. Fucken pog, never trust a man from a single parent and is a beta mangina. It is funny, I told these suppose friends of my problem and they instantly treat me a pyscho. The reality is that I feel this way and act is because of people treating me as such. The vicious cycle they create and I can't get out.

The only friends I have is old boys from Korea, Vietnam and one childhood friend that is a grunt like me. All of them don't know any women that is good or the same age.

[polya]

Wow Dark_Sol, that post was deep. I hear you about being lonely & friends leaving. AW are horrible friends/wives. There's no easy answers.

[Billy]

hey dark, men this is some tough shit. but what i don´t understand is why not jumping from a high building? it is fool proved and you won´t suvive as a demolished guy.

anyway i do have respect who end their lives. it´s reasonable to kill yourself bevor 30-35. i am now little bit old. but hopefully bevor 50 i will do the biz. but important thing is to do it when you consumed all of your money plus have some depths. the more the better. and the method should be at least to some extend cool and you should say soemthing cool like in 80s. - that´s how we doing.

[E_Irizarry]

This is utterly melancholic-a_ss s_hit being rendered here. PAN with his doors will close soon in America pessimism to Dark trying to take his life.

No wonder my posts are gnawed at with such dire scrutiny.

Happier Abroad > Slightly "happier" abroad by being slightly above "manic depression" for most of you dudes here.

Ufff!

[Teal Lantern]

The reason why I posted this is because I thought about it and I did try it once but I failed at it. I was to scared with the pain of the process of killing yourself. I still think about it. I think sometimes it maybe just general depression but also to some extent your environment does play a factor .

I don't want to go too much into details of my burdens because we all have them. Usually it is hope that keeps us going or the journey in discovering what will happen in the end.

But I notice some of the posters here tend to be how can I say in the negative scope of things. Just wondering if anyone did try .

Given the current technology, even if you can't afford to travel, you can talk to different people all over the world for nothing more than the cost of your current internet service. There are dozens of general social networking sites and thousands of special interest forums.

Keep a food diary. What, when, and how you eat has great effect on your health and, by extension, your mood.
Your diet is your body's internal "environment".

If your neighborhood is safe, go for a 10~20 minute walk every day or two. Meet other guys in the area at the local coffee shop or out working in their yards, pick up a small bag of groceries and fresh fruit at a nearby store. The sneaky side effects are a bit of exercise, fresh air, and sunlight. These all improve mood, health, and help you sleep better.

Good luck.

[momopi]

I was a member of the hemlock society long before all the silly name changes. I support the right to die by assisted suicide to ensure high success rate. However, that does not mean I think any of you should go kill yourself today just because you think life sucks now. I beliieve that you should "live well, die well", and the live well part comes FIRST before dying.

I spent over a decade in the anime/manga hobby and have meet several TG friends (stuff like Ranma and futabakun change attracts them). Some have considered suicide because they had not taken action and felt hopeless. My comment to them was that between HRT and suicide, why would you choose suicide??

If you're not happy where you are, vote with your feet.

[Dark_Sol]

Now this was a year ago, before what I knew the problem was. I now identify it and working towards to change that. As for friends, I got rid of the old ones and made connection to guys more accepting of me. They turn out to be mostly old veterans and one childhood friend that got back from Afghanistan. Surprising enough, they are libertarians or leaning towards it. I am happier now, I go to coventions, meetings and such. Meeting guys who go on a daily basis to Taiwan, Singapore and China. People who are connected, one is running for congress and one who inspects, overlooks and approves shooting ranges for the whole state. The only problem now is women, the old guys knows what's wrong with me, they say I need a good lady, a "hot lil gal for some fun" they like to say. My former friends didn't understand this and their bitches, when I talked about it, they looked at me if I was stupid. Well, sorry, I didn't go for the girl who has a bigger waist size than me, the slutty stupid skank, the one with kids and has problems with relationships or knock them up on accident.

Shit I started to make the change in my life since seeing a vid from Chapin's inferno and he talked about this website. I went here and read and started to research the problem on youtube and such. I've been reading and researching on how to get out of this country. This site actually gives me hope, gives me a goal that I will fulfill. When I get down in the dumps. I go on here, read or watch vids of being overseas, makes life bearable

[abcdavid01]

Assisted suicide? I don't know what to make of it. My dad said if he ever gets really sick he doesn't want to die in a hospital. He'll just walk into the forest or the ocean and keep going until he's gone. I think I'd do that as well. Men used to die hunting mammoths for food. Now we just pass away as sad shells kept alive artificially. I'd rather die a man's death.

I had an middle class upbringing, nice house, parents never really hurt me. However, there was one thing always missing in my life: purpose. I had no real moral code or perspective on the world and almost no significant opinions. Obviously I believed stuff like murder was wrong, but I was almost like a robot. It was like I was sleepwalking my whole life and that's why I barely have any memories of my childhood. I was just a shell of a person, like I barely even existed. So I never really made friends in school; the closest I came was the special ed kids, which was hard because I was top of my class. I could memorize facts very well, but they held no meaning to me, and I was never popular for it. So that childhood loneliness made me empathize with Winston.

As a teenager I suffered from severe prolonged depression. There were many times I would just lie facedown on my floor and wish I could shut my brain off. I would cry myself to sleep at night. My mother tried to have me see a psychologist because of social issues, but that just made it worse and I wound up hating her and wanting to kill her. There was one bright spot though. The last month of eighth grade I fell in love with a mute girl. Obviously I didn't fall in love with her, but the idea of her. She was a mute who failed a class assignment because she refused to speak in front of the class. I saw my own social problems mirrored in her and fell in love, but we never even spoke. I went to a different high school, so I never saw her again. But I'm glad I know what love is; people often wonder if they are in love, but the answer is always no. When I fell in love I knew because I woke up and my whole body was different as if my emotions had gone from 0 to 100 overnight. If there is any uncertainty, it is not love.

Freshman year of college I would drive from home every morning and I would often envision myself flooring the gas and driving until I blacked out and either died or woke up in a hospital. Nineteen years and I was barely even alive.

Then it changed. I decided to study politics in order to vote for the first time. Suddenly I had a perspective on the world. Like so many here I became a libertarian. But that wasn't it. Two summers ago I saw this film. Angel-A by Luc Besson. This film woke me up. I cried at the end of it, but they were tears of joy. I knew then I was free and have not felt depressed for longer than about an hour at a time for the past two years.



So if I had wasted my first two decades, I vowed to overcompensate for the rest of my life. I dropped out of college. I was getting a degree in engineering, but I was already a certified engineer from my high school. I didn't learn anything in college and only went for the degree because I didn't know what else to do. After dropping out I decided to start an online business, which I continue to work on. I began studying much more seriously than ever on topics of my choosing. Politics, economics, sociology, history. My enemies are Communism and its American form, Feminism. I'm almost 21. My goal is to travel and find an escape. Somewhere the evils of these ideologies don't exist. I want to raise a family and have a son, who I will give purpose and raise properly. I never want him to even think of suicide.

Glad to hear you're improving Dark. Keep on the road.

[Andrewww]

Suicide is not the solution man...if you really wanna do that just go crazy...get a loan or use your credit cards to book a flight oversees. Buy a sleeping bag and try to start a new life from scratch in another country. After all, you got nothing to lose right ? If you don't make it then you can commit suicide. Chances are you will find new meaning in life if you get out of your confort zone.

[lavezzi]

youve just got to realize you are the original human. no one or thing to our knowlege has ever had a more vivid and amazing experience than YOU do, simply by being alive and in good health. all the other nonsense youve been taught to think about and value is worthless. never depend on anyone for anything as much as you can and make a conscious effort to quell your ego and desires. there should be nothing, yet there is an entire fantasticly complex reality. those in a deep sleep cannot sense the incredible surreality of this life, if you could youd enjoy it a whole lot more.

[rudder]

It's not a zest for life that keeps me from killing myself, but rather a fear of death. One time I felt like I got close to death. There was no bright-light, no warmth, no angels, no demons...nothing. It felt like assimilating into the black void of the depths of space without time or location. It was an extremely scary experience, which rattled me to the core. I care not to contemplate death. Who knows what that entails?

A lot of people seem to adopt the cliched belief that when you die you retain some sort of "cosmic consciousness," but I saw no hints of having any consciousness whatsoever. Like pulling the plug out of your TV and the screen just goes black...forever. Could you imagine what that might be like? It is one thing that truly terrifies me.

[Tsar]

I never tried to commit suicide but I have thought about it many times. I also fear death so I couldn't ever take my own life or attempt it. There is one thing that keeps me want to live and that is finding my ideal dream bride. My #1 purpose and goal in life is to get my ideal dream bride. If I don't my ideal dream bride by age 35 then I would seriously considering ending my life.

These are my major standards:

1. I will not be a virgin past age 35. By then most men have lost some of their sex drive
2. I will not lose my virginity to any girl except one who is attractive by my standards
3. I will not lose my virginity to any girl except a true virgin
4. I must be in my first relationship with a girl that is no more than 19 years old
5. I never had a girlfriend when I was a teenager so I would like to experience what I missed out on. I deserve it because it is my divine reward for having to endure a miserable life and being lonely.

I guess the main reason why I'm still alive is because I want my dream girl before I die. Then my life would be complete and anything else would be a bonus. When a man has a Dream Girl, she will help create happiness in his life. I have no happiness in my life and I live each day in monotony or loneliness. I am in college at the moment and then I will need to work at least a year or two to earn some money. I hope I find happiness when I go abroad in search of my Dream Girl.

I would define a Dream Girl as any girl that meets the qualities that a man wants in a potential girlfriend or bride. There could be many girls that would qualify as Dream Girls and a man only needs to find one of those Dream Girls to be happy.

A Dream Girl would boost my self-esteem, image, ego, and I could show her off to everyone. She would be my companion, trophy, and my personal supermodel. I would always do things with her. She should make me happy and I would make her happy. She would also have to look up to me and admire me. I would know many feminists, manginas, sluts, and whiteknights would be jealousy of me or what I have, and that would also bring me happiness knowing I am a true winner. A Dream Girl would be everything to me and that is what I want in life.