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Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia?

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Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia?

Postby Winston » January 15th, 2013, 12:23 pm

Question: Why do I often freeze up when chatting up girls in North America and NE Asia during a cold approach? It's like my mind draws a blank and can't think of anything to say. After a few seconds, they leave and I lose my opportunity to try to "make something happen".

But if I try to talk to her again, it looks kind of clingy. As you know, in North America and NE Asia, girls don't like guys who come on strong.

The thing is, when I'm not talking to her, I can think of many ways to carry on a conversation. But when I'm actually talking to her, my mind draws a blank and I freeze up. Does that happen to any of you too?

I thought this was a case of nerves. But couldn't it also be because it feels inappropriate to flirt or come on strong with someone you just met? Or could it also be that the girl is sending subconscious signals with her body language that she isn't interested and doesn't want you to continue chatting her up for non-business purposes?

What do you think?

It reminds me of my piano recital when I was 14. I had practiced many times the night before and thought I had the piece down. But when it came time to play it in front of everyone, my mind drew a blank and I couldn't remember the keys. I kept hitting the wrong ones. It was embarassing. But I've never been good at memorizing steps.
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Postby eurobrat » January 15th, 2013, 12:26 pm

...
Last edited by eurobrat on May 25th, 2013, 2:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » January 15th, 2013, 12:28 pm

Alcohol has nothing to do with this. I'm not talking about shyness. I'm talking about my mind drawing a blank and not being able to think of what to say next. It's a case of nerves, or subconscious negative body language and inappropriateness too.
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Postby abcdavid01 » January 15th, 2013, 7:05 pm

They're just cold and uninviting. Bitch shields are up.
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Re: Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia

Postby Taco » January 16th, 2013, 12:10 am

Winston wrote: As you know, in North America and NE Asia, girls don't like guys who come on strong.


Actually, they don't like you coming on to them at all. These women are married to their jobs so if they date you they'll be cheating. Its best to let them make the first move, which will never happen. The reason your nervous around them is because hitting on them is a bad idea to begin with.

I used to work with a bunch Chinese women when I lived in China and they did not have warm, fuzzy personalities. I can't imagine spending "quality time" with any of them.
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Postby E_Irizarry » January 16th, 2013, 12:38 am

eurobrat wrote:Alcohol will help you overcome your shyness.


Al contraire, it actually worked for me; EuroBrat is right. I pulled a light-skinned Chilean BBW
in Chile (circa 2009) at a after-work bar/restaurant and I was tipsy as all-get-out.

Rejection wasn't even a dialect I was familiar with at that moment and
"Se he pedido a eso numero y correo electronico y tenía con exito"
(I asked her for that number & her email addy successfully).

Emmett 'Til this day, she and I converse with one another monthly; she writes me saying that
she keeps me in her prayers that we will cross paths again. Jajajajajaja ¡Que la vida mia!
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Re: Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia

Postby pete98146 » January 16th, 2013, 12:51 am

Taco wrote:
Winston wrote: As you know, in North America and NE Asia, girls don't like guys who come on strong.


Actually, they don't like you coming on to them at all. These women are married to their jobs so if they date you they'll be cheating. Its best to let them make the first move, which will never happen. The reason your nervous around them is because hitting on them is a bad idea to begin with.

I used to work with a bunch Chinese women when I lived in China and they did not have warm, fuzzy personalities. I can't imagine spending "quality time" with any of them.


Going to agree with Taco on this one. With all due respect, this seems to be quite the rhetorical question. If they don't respond to the cold approach, don't use the cold approach. There are plenty of other ways to meet women. Heck, you'd have better results joining the old ladies in the park to do Tai Chi hoping to be introduced to their daughters than using the cold approach. Cold approach is so PUA....no thanks.
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Postby Jester » January 16th, 2013, 2:45 am

eurobrat wrote:Alcohol will help you overcome your shyness.


+1

Yup!

That's what it's for!
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Re: Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia

Postby Winston » January 16th, 2013, 4:40 pm

Taco wrote:
Winston wrote: As you know, in North America and NE Asia, girls don't like guys who come on strong.


Actually, they don't like you coming on to them at all. These women are married to their jobs so if they date you they'll be cheating. Its best to let them make the first move, which will never happen. The reason your nervous around them is because hitting on them is a bad idea to begin with.

I used to work with a bunch Chinese women when I lived in China and they did not have warm, fuzzy personalities. I can't imagine spending "quality time" with any of them.


Really? Go on QQ then. There are tons of warm lonely desperate Chinese girls on there who want to meet a foreigner - asian or white. I met a ton of Chinese girls on there that really want to meet me and are just as sweet as the Filipinas are. No joke.
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Re: Why do I freeze up when chatting up girls in USA/NE Asia

Postby Taco » January 17th, 2013, 12:46 am

Winston wrote:
Taco wrote:
Winston wrote: As you know, in North America and NE Asia, girls don't like guys who come on strong.


Actually, they don't like you coming on to them at all. These women are married to their jobs so if they date you they'll be cheating. Its best to let them make the first move, which will never happen. The reason your nervous around them is because hitting on them is a bad idea to begin with.

I used to work with a bunch Chinese women when I lived in China and they did not have warm, fuzzy personalities. I can't imagine spending "quality time" with any of them.


Really? Go on QQ then. There are tons of warm lonely desperate Chinese girls on there who want to meet a foreigner - asian or white. I met a ton of Chinese girls on there that really want to meet me and are just as sweet as the Filipinas are. No joke.


Allow me to clarify. You'll get more rejection approaching women in public. However, approaching women on the internet is a good idea, these women are actively seeking a man.
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