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To go to Japan, or not to go to Japan

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To go to Japan, or not to go to Japan

Postby magnum » Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:01 pm

I've experienced china now, and I love it, being here has literally given me pride, and the ability to let go of a lot of past scars and it really made me respect my self.

So my next chapter was going to be japan in 3 to 5 months, but a lot of forum members have said I should save my self the trouble and just remain in china, so I'm making a new post to discuss this, a lot of guys already shared with me experiences they have had, but I want to revisit the subject.


Lets start with, I think I would fit in with the culture vary well, I'm a geek at heart, I love all things "geeky" video games anime, sci fi blah blah, so my logic is, if the center of retro gaming/electronics/anime is where I'm going, chances of finding a girl who is in to some of these things is at a all time high.

That and exercise and staying in shape is a big deal to me, and no other place in the world do I think I'll find a girl with that combination of interests.

I've heard from a lot of people japanese girls love americans, oddly enough I've heard that for a girl from china who said I should go for sure because of that reason, I even asked my hosts dad who I was staying with in china bout it, he lived in japan for 2 years, he said chinese women are better looking, but japanese girls are nicer.


That and I admittedly like japanese womens looks better, though I've only had dinner with one japanese girl, the experience was vary good besides the expensive dinner check, so that could be a hint.

I've been contemplating getting on line teaching course going for english teaching and perhaps attempting to live in japan and work while I experience it, I heard it's hard to imposable to get a decent job without 4 years of college though.


A lot of guys have told me japanese girls just didn't give them the time of day, but I've heard so much of the flip side, so that brings me to this question, did all the guys who didn't get any attention happen to be under the age of 30?


My objective here would be the same as my china trip, see if I want to live in japan, and try to find a girl friend and wife.

I would probably have a bank roll around 4500$ to 5000$ depending on how the trip went, I might cut my trip shorter and fly back to china, though my experience with chinese women didn't differ much from usa, women were always nice and friendly, but never interested in anything more, though I didn't really have much time to get a relationship/friendship going, but it's funny how women skip the "get to know you part" in any country and go right to dating a guy if he's rich/handsome enough!
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Postby keepingitreal » Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:20 pm

Look, brother. Japan is a. Very expansive. b. Very xenophobic with many people don't know how to speak English. c. I know you might love video games and all that shit, but I highly doubt you'll be able to tolerate those hello kitty types who still live with their fam in their 30's. And they'll be too socially clueless to be flirting with to begin with. Good luck though. If you're into clubs and all that shit you might be able to find some better ones.

Also I don't think any decent person will purposely put their kids through any of East Asian society. Not a good place to raise family in my opinions.
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Postby zboy1 » Wed Feb 27, 2013 7:05 pm

I would love to visit Japan one day. But I wouldn't recommend living in Japan, though. Like Keepitreal just mentioned--Japan is a highly xenophobic, close-minded country. Also, it's very expensive and the cost-of-living is through the roof.

And Keepitreal: Why do you think raising kids in an East Asian country is not good? I think the opposite. I know some expats that live in Asia with their kids--and they love it. Think about it: You're raising kids in safe environments, in safe schools, and in an excellent learning environment. Compare that to say....the U.S. and the horrors of the public school system--and I say, there is no comparison.
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Postby zacb » Wed Feb 27, 2013 7:49 pm

It might be a great place to visit, but to live, it is a very bad idea. You might cut down on costs via hostels, and maybe eat at burger joints. The problem living there is the cost, problems with China, their economy, and like others said, xenophobic. I feel ya, I like Japanese girls personally, but I don't know how they good as far as personality wise. Another thing to consider is religion. If I am not mistaken, you are Christian right? And Japan is mostly non-Christian, so that might be hard. Perhaps you could live in the Philippines and commute to Japan. But if you insist on being in Japan, outside the metro areas are best for cost, since they are comparable to small us cities in prices (30,000 a year to live). But if I where you, I would check into the Philippines, which is very religious, or perhaps some other Asian country. Best of luck!
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Postby keepingitreal » Wed Feb 27, 2013 8:43 pm

zboy1 wrote:I would love to visit Japan one day. But I wouldn't recommend living in Japan, though. Like Keepitreal just mentioned--Japan is a highly xenophobic, close-minded country. Also, it's very expensive and the cost-of-living is through the roof.

And Keepitreal: Why do you think raising kids in an East Asian country is not good? I think the opposite. I know some expats that live in Asia with their kids--and they love it. Think about it: You're raising kids in safe environments, in safe schools, and in an excellent learning environment. Compare that to say....the U.S. and the horrors of the public school system--and I say, there is no comparison.


Ok, I don't know you, but from your post I'm assuming:

a. Assuming you're a non-Asian Westerner, probably American, I gonna try to talk some sense into you. Excellent learning environment? Been called "dog", "pet" by teacher? Or getting smacked on back of the legs for getting below B? This supposed to be a joke right?

You can say that at least the kids are well mannered, smart, get good grades and cause no harm, unlike "the hoodlums in America.". But my counter argument is this: If you considering lack of confidence and social skills, act like their physical age divided by half then minus 5, 30 years old yet still cannot think for themselves, as "well mannered", being cliquish and just childish in general, bullying anyone who has different opinions than them as "harmless", suicidal or depressed, disgruntled as "smart kids getting good grade"(if you're witty enough, you might sense the tension behind their childish tone.), then I'm giving up talking about it with you as I cannot argue with ignorance. I can just say that you're one sick sob. I've encountered many Americans who are very ignorant about East Asia and are way too hard-headed to look outside of their half-assed knowledge about the world.

Sure if you're white American, you and your kids might have some of that white privilege and doesn't have to deal with that shit completely. If you have no moral, go ahead and exploit the shit out of them. Hopefully your kids doesn't end up in one of those "cram school" though. Otherwise your kids might have a taste of what the local kids' lives are about. Winston had quite some taste of pure Asian ways, and look at him now. But if that's the case, please do the world a favor ok? At least stop bragging about how good Asian culture and Asian ways of raising kids are and how Americans should copy Asian ways of parenting and school system. You're making a fool out of yourselves. You know it damn well you're not really going to do it Asian style anyways, why even brag about it?

b. And if you're one of those Asian traditionalist or Asian Americans who's acting stereotypical, listen and listen well. Go-fuck-your-self you sick, chickenshit mother f***er. Enough said.

EDIT: You see, that's why I'm not all that into the whole idea of "happy aboard" (The reason why I joined this forum is because I do agree with certain point of views of Winston when it comes to Taiwanese society.). I understand that America is not perfect and you don't like it here, but hey at the same time, with some of the HA-ers' half-assed knowledge about the world, you'll end up kissing the country's ass to a ridiculous level, or even worse, end up like Winston. Either conditions, you just going to make a fool out of yourselves. This is coming from the locals who were born and raised in those countries you're planning your HA trips on.
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Postby Jester » Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:33 pm

keepingitreal wrote:Ok, I don't know you, but from your post I'm assuming:

a. Assuming you're a non-Asian Westerner, probably American, I gonna try to talk some sense into you. Excellent learning environment? Been called "dog", "pet" by teacher? Or getting smacked on back of the legs for getting below B? This supposed to be a joke right?

You can say that at least the kids are well mannered, smart, get good grades and cause no harm, unlike "the hoodlums in America.". But my counter argument is this: If you considering lack of confidence and social skills, act like their physical age divided by half then minus 5, 30 years old yet still cannot think for themselves, as "well mannered", being cliquish and just childish in general, bullying anyone who has different opinions than them as "harmless", suicidal or depressed, disgruntled as "smart kids getting good grade"(if you're witty enough, you might sense the tension behind their childish tone.), then I'm giving up talking about it with you as I cannot argue with ignorance. I can just say that you're one sick sob. I've encountered many Americans who are very ignorant about East Asia and are way too hard-headed to look outside of their half-assed knowledge about the world.

Sure if you're white American, you and your kids might have some of that white privilege and doesn't have to deal with that shit completely. If you have no moral, go ahead and exploit the shit out of them. Hopefully your kids doesn't end up in one of those "cram school" though. Otherwise your kids might have a taste of what the local kids' lives are about. Winston had quite some taste of pure Asian ways, and look at him now. But if that's the case, please do the world a favor ok? At least stop bragging about how good Asian culture and Asian ways of raising kids are and how Americans should copy Asian ways of parenting and school system. You're making a fool out of yourselves. You know it damn well you're not really going to do it Asian style anyways, why even brag about it?

b. And if you're one of those Asian traditionalist or Asian Americans who's acting stereotypical, listen and listen well. Go-f**k-your-self you sick, chickenshit mother f***er. Enough said.

EDIT: You see, that's why I'm not all that into the whole idea of "happy aboard" (The reason why I joined this forum is because I do agree with certain point of views of Winston when it comes to Taiwanese society.). I understand that America is not perfect and you don't like it here, but hey at the same time, with some of the HA-ers' half-assed knowledge about the world, you'll end up kissing the country's a** to a ridiculous level, or even worse, end up like Winston. Either conditions, you just going to make a fool out of yourselves. This is coming from the locals who were born and raised in those countries you're planning your HA trips on.


WINSTON -- PLEASE BAN THIS TROLL.

He does not share our goal of "Happier Abroad". He is negative. He should start his own website where he can rant feely.
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Postby Cornfed » Thu Feb 28, 2013 12:15 am

zboy1 wrote:And Keepitreal: Why do you think raising kids in an East Asian country is not good? I think the opposite. I know some expats that live in Asia with their kids--and they love it. Think about it: You're raising kids in safe environments, in safe schools, and in an excellent learning environment.

Many Asian schools are as dysfunctional as all get out. A foreigner would only want to raise children there if he could afford to send his kids to a good international school.
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Postby magnum » Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:30 am

Xenophobic isn't all bad in my opinion.

It seems like you are all saying stay away because the prices are expensive and the women aren't easy.

I admit I want to go to japan, but after china I'm not exactly forcing my choice on way or another, I have 3 months to think about it, and 3 to prepare for the trip.

The women taking work to get to know, but it seems the same way with chinese women, I had dinner with a few hanging out with friends, but it never went passed that, and the fact that.

chinese constantly tell me japanese women are nicer and would love me seems in direct opposition to what you guys are saying, my ex co-worker who speaks in broken english said I should go, my hosts dad here said I should go, and hell even my chinese hair dress who is from china and visited japan said I should go!


So, no offense guys but who here has real experince with this?

I've read a lot of negativity about japan being westernized and I'm 100% sure its more so than china, but I can't help but think the culture is more fitting to me.

I'll keep my eyes and ears open, get all the information I can, if i think it's a empty trip I'll head back to china, but so far I don't know enough
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:48 am

keepingitreal wrote:
zboy1 wrote:I would love to visit Japan one day. But I wouldn't recommend living in Japan, though. Like Keepitreal just mentioned--Japan is a highly xenophobic, close-minded country. Also, it's very expensive and the cost-of-living is through the roof.

And Keepitreal: Why do you think raising kids in an East Asian country is not good? I think the opposite. I know some expats that live in Asia with their kids--and they love it. Think about it: You're raising kids in safe environments, in safe schools, and in an excellent learning environment. Compare that to say....the U.S. and the horrors of the public school system--and I say, there is no comparison.


Ok, I don't know you, but from your post I'm assuming:

a. Assuming you're a non-Asian Westerner, probably American, I gonna try to talk some sense into you. Excellent learning environment? Been called "dog", "pet" by teacher? Or getting smacked on back of the legs for getting below B? This supposed to be a joke right?

You can say that at least the kids are well mannered, smart, get good grades and cause no harm, unlike "the hoodlums in America.". But my counter argument is this: If you considering lack of confidence and social skills, act like their physical age divided by half then minus 5, 30 years old yet still cannot think for themselves, as "well mannered", being cliquish and just childish in general, bullying anyone who has different opinions than them as "harmless", suicidal or depressed, disgruntled as "smart kids getting good grade"(if you're witty enough, you might sense the tension behind their childish tone.), then I'm giving up talking about it with you as I cannot argue with ignorance. I can just say that you're one sick sob. I've encountered many Americans who are very ignorant about East Asia and are way too hard-headed to look outside of their half-assed knowledge about the world.

Sure if you're white American, you and your kids might have some of that white privilege and doesn't have to deal with that shit completely. If you have no moral, go ahead and exploit the shit out of them. Hopefully your kids doesn't end up in one of those "cram school" though. Otherwise your kids might have a taste of what the local kids' lives are about. Winston had quite some taste of pure Asian ways, and look at him now. But if that's the case, please do the world a favor ok? At least stop bragging about how good Asian culture and Asian ways of raising kids are and how Americans should copy Asian ways of parenting and school system. You're making a fool out of yourselves. You know it damn well you're not really going to do it Asian style anyways, why even brag about it?

b. And if you're one of those Asian traditionalist or Asian Americans who's acting stereotypical, listen and listen well. Go-f**k-your-self you sick, chickenshit mother f***er. Enough said.

EDIT: You see, that's why I'm not all that into the whole idea of "happy aboard" (The reason why I joined this forum is because I do agree with certain point of views of Winston when it comes to Taiwanese society.). I understand that America is not perfect and you don't like it here, but hey at the same time, with some of the HA-ers' half-assed knowledge about the world, you'll end up kissing the country's a** to a ridiculous level, or even worse, end up like Winston. Either conditions, you just going to make a fool out of yourselves. This is coming from the locals who were born and raised in those countries you're planning your HA trips on.


I am Asian. And seriously...dude.... you like being Asian in America? I guess you're one of the few, then....Difference of opinions.
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Feb 28, 2013 4:19 am

I've visited Japan 4 times, and dated 4 Japanese women.

I think you'll waste your valuable cash there.

Few Japanese women speak English. I dated some 32-38yo women. To be honest they were single because they were picky, plain, or both. And my Filipina friend who teaches them English told me they're fairly infantile.

The chances of a Western man dating an idol quality Japanese woman is pretty remote. Here in China it is excellent, the same in Vietnam.

Japan is also very expensive, particularly clothes and restaurants. And here's the thing - these are the two places you'll have to splurge out on to impress a Japanese woman.

Instead you're better off playing the long term game. Come to China for at least 3 years. Better still, get a career or some English teaching qualifications.

Anime and stuff is popular thoughout Asia anyway. I've seen some Cosplayers here in Guangzhou, and a few places sell Manga.

Besides, the girls in my new Chinese University are... wu wu wu! I only wish I came here in my 20's! Still, I have a million single office ladies to meet here.
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Postby keepingitreal » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:45 am

Jester, so I'm the big bad troll :( , now go cry me a river.

You're too ignorant for me to reply, I'm not even gonna argue with you on this one. Hate America so much? Try to live as the local of where ever the countries you're doing your HA shit at, cracker. Ask Winston about it, he knows the taste. PM me if you wanna cry :wink: .

zboy1 wrote:
I am Asian. And seriously...dude.... you like being Asian in America? I guess you're one of the few, then....Difference of opinions.


Oh I know how it is for an Asian male in America, but many of y'all failed to realize is that in Asia, where your parents came from or where you moved from when you were like 3 years old, is not "The Promise Land" neither. I moved here when I was 14 and have seen the full force of hard line, traditional Asians. You don't know how much bullshit I gotta put up with. I literally fought my way out and get my own place and reach the spot I'm at now.

I ain't moving back, because when you look at it, the most traditionalist Asian countries were all American puppets matter of fact. Just like they did with the Gulf states in the Middle East, they want us to keep it backward, traditional and self-abusing, so they can take shit from us. They contribute the great deal to how our countries are, so why the f**k should I move back? I ain't responsible for that shit, f**k it I'm enjoying my life here in the U, free from the family bullshit. Worst comes to worse, if the economic gets bad to that point or those dumb f***s in the DC has caused a civil war of some sort, I'm thinking about moving to South America such as Brazil, Venezuela...etc, but East Asia? f**k no!

But hey at the same time. I also think that something needs to be done about our countries. If we can get all the backward shitheads in our countries to move to America...They love it so much, they can have it. After all, it's America grant them the power for them to be a bunch of traditional, child abusing chicken shit, they'll deserve whatever happen to them. With some reforms in education and housing, kick the US military presence as well as all those cock suckers from our countries, and establish a direct democracy, most parts of East Asia can be a paradise. Check out Muammar Gaddafi's the third way and his idea of Jamahiriya, you'll get the idea. As long as we can get those traditional cocksuckers under controlled so they won't play no Oriental Spring on us, our countries can be not only rich, but independent, numb off all the oppression on us. We'll be strong!

With all that being said, I'm not moving back just to escape from the "big white devil". If moving back to our countries, bring some changes. That's for all the 1st and 1.5 or 2nd generation who knows about their countries and still keep themselves together and not being brainwashed by the backward thoughts.

So meanwhile, what can we do in the US? Well, just improve our games and our social skills. Do it like I do. If we're forced into stereotype by our traditional parents, then fought our way out. It f***ing sucks we gotta fight, but at the end we're rewarded more freedom than them rich white folks because we gained it. Paying off huh?
Cornfed wrote:Many Asian schools are as dysfunctional as all get out. A foreigner would only want to raise children there if he could afford to send his kids to a good international school.


Good point Cornfed. You knows better than rest of these fools. Usually there're slightly less bullshit in international schools, But remember though, the cost of international school are usually expensive, have a good save ups. But if it comes down to me, I'd avoid the whole region in general.
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Feb 28, 2013 8:24 am

keepingitreal wrote:Jester, so I'm the big bad troll :( , now go cry me a river.

You're too ignorant for me to reply, I'm not even gonna argue with you on this one. Hate America so much? Try to live as the local of where ever the countries you're doing your HA shit at, cracker. Ask Winston about it, he knows the taste. PM me if you wanna cry :wink: .

zboy1 wrote:
I am Asian. And seriously...dude.... you like being Asian in America? I guess you're one of the few, then....Difference of opinions.


Oh I know how it is for an Asian male in America, but many of y'all failed to realize is that in Asia, where your parents came from or where you moved from when you were like 3 years old, is not "The Promise Land" neither. I moved here when I was 14 and have seen the full force of hard line, traditional Asians. You don't know how much bullshit I gotta put up with. I literally fought my way out and get my own place and reach the spot I'm at now.

I ain't moving back, because when you look at it, the most traditionalist Asian countries were all American puppets matter of fact. Just like they did with the Gulf states in the Middle East, they want us to keep it backward, traditional and self-abusing, so they can take shit from us. They contribute the great deal to how our countries are, so why the f**k should I move back? I ain't responsible for that shit, f**k it I'm enjoying my life here in the U, free from the family bullshit. Worst comes to worse, if the economic gets bad to that point or those dumb f***s in the DC has caused a civil war of some sort, I'm thinking about moving to South America such as Brazil, Venezuela...etc, but East Asia? f**k no!

But hey at the same time. I also think that something needs to be done about our countries. If we can get all the backward shitheads in our countries to move to America...They love it so much, they can have it. After all, it's America grant them the power for them to be a bunch of traditional, child abusing chicken shit, they'll deserve whatever happen to them. With some reforms in education and housing, kick the US military presence as well as all those cock suckers from our countries, and establish a direct democracy, most parts of East Asia can be a paradise. Check out Muammar Gaddafi's the third way and his idea of Jamahiriya, you'll get the idea. As long as we can get those traditional cocksuckers under controlled so they won't play no Oriental Spring on us, our countries can be not only rich, but independent, numb off all the oppression on us. We'll be strong!

With all that being said, I'm not moving back just to escape from the "big white devil". If moving back to our countries, bring some changes. That's for all the 1st and 1.5 or 2nd generation who knows about their countries and still keep themselves together and not being brainwashed by the backward thoughts.

So meanwhile, what can we do in the US? Well, just improve our games and our social skills. Do it like I do. If we're forced into stereotype by our traditional parents, then fought our way out. It f***ing sucks we gotta fight, but at the end we're rewarded more freedom than them rich white folks because we gained it. Paying off huh?
Cornfed wrote:Many Asian schools are as dysfunctional as all get out. A foreigner would only want to raise children there if he could afford to send his kids to a good international school.


Good point Cornfed. You knows better than rest of these fools. Usually there're slightly less bullshit in international schools, But remember though, the cost of international school are usually expensive, have a good save ups. But if it comes down to me, I'd avoid the whole region in general.


Well, that's cool; I guess you like being in America, but I don't. I can sense a lot of hatred in you being Asian and your resentment growing up in Asia, but I would've gladly trade places with you in a heartbeat as a kid growing up. Do you know how much bullcr*p I hate to put up with growing up as an Asian man in this country? Or, all the garbage that absolutely drive me crazy about America to this day. I can't stand living in the U.S.--and every day I stay here--I grow more depressed and crazy as time goes by. We're never going to agree Keepingitreal, so good luck in your future endeavors. Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy myself living overseas, and if I end up hating it, I can always end up back in the good ole US of A.

In the meantime, I'll be just like Falcon, Repatriate, and Cheezeraider--Asian Americans that have found happiness living overseas. I was originally supposed to go to Russia, but a last-minute change of plan has me possibly going to Thailand instead. I hope I get the job in Thailand, so wish me luck people.
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Feb 28, 2013 1:16 pm

Good luck! I guess there are other Asians living here in China, but it's harder to spot them than it ever was in the UK. A lot of Koreans study here. I don't know if they're happier abroad, but they certainly save money abroad.

Just bear in mind that Asian people have stereotypical views of other nationalities/races, and it's reflected in what kind of apartment you can rent to how much you have to pay for stuff.

I love the street life out here though, and the fact that you can eat whenever you feel hungry.
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Postby magnum » Thu Feb 28, 2013 1:25 pm

Well xiongmao that's real experience talking, how old were you when you dated in japan?

I respect your input, that makes me have pause when thinking about it for sure.


Just today I had a conversation with a chinese guy, i can't type out his name, but he lived in the usa for 6 years, we had a conversation about my plans ect, he said I should for sure go to japan too, I don't understand, is it a "grass is greener on the other side" kind of deal or what?

All the chinese men say japanese girls are nicer, and that personal experience tells them a guy like me will do awesome in japan, granted they could just be trying to give me encouragement, but this is coming from some people with living experience in japan, makes me wonder if I'll do well looks/fitness wise, but on the flip side, that should give me a really big boost here in china too, I guess in the end it'll come down to find out for your self or make the choice to play it safe and stick with china.

It sounds about right when it comes to the more attractive women, it would boil down to quality of the girls personality and how attractive valuable they think I am, plus if your saying I have to shower them with money it's not ideal, but on the flip side chinese girls seem to be sexually attracted to money, so isn't that kind of the same thing?


And I wont lie, I'm looking for a woman as attractive outside as inside, so if all I'm going to do is land a ugly desperate japanese girl who's almost 30, forget that, but I've read stories about guys landing my ideal, wish I had done this 8 years ago.. it would be a known factor already!
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Postby RobinHood » Thu Feb 28, 2013 1:43 pm

Magnum,

Many western men move and settle in the Philippines and appear to be happy with long term girlfriends / wife's there. I have not been to Japan, but I do not envisage it being an easy place to find a quality attractive female that you seek.

Good luck.
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