Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Should a man try to settle down and raise a family?

Ask questions and get advice, or share advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following someone's advice here.
Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's already been addressed.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Should a man try to settle down and raise a family?

Postby Winston » Mon Apr 29, 2013 8:10 pm

Question: Should a man try to settle down and raise a family, as society and most people say you should?

Would such a settled life bring one more happiness and joy? If so, how? Are all the responsibilities and burdens of raising a family really worth it? Is it more like a prison or a happy family life?

Does raising a family lead to a better life, or is it something people do because they are "supposed" to out of a sense of duty?

What's in it for a man to settle down and raise a family? What does he gain from it? And is this "gain" worth a lifetime of hardship, responsibility, burden, and loss of freedom and mobility?

Do most men who settle down and raise a family regret it? Or do they say that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them?

It is understandable that society would try to make the settled down life a norm for everyone, otherwise there would be social chaos and disarray. But that is from the vantage point of seeing the masses as cattle. And it doesn't mean that it is better for every individual. You also have to remember that society's job and function is to control and organize people, not to make them happy and free. So society is acting out of its interest, not yours.

(It does seem that everything in society is built around settling down and raising a family - buying a home, getting a stable job, shopping for your family and home, etc. It's definitely not built for meeting hot girls or picking up chicks. lol)

Or is it better for a man to be free, have romantic relationships without marriage (one or multiple), good friends, freedom, adventure, and be free to do what he wants?

Which is better and why?

Or how about this: What if you were to meet a woman who was an 8, 9 or 10 (by your standards)? If you settled down with someone you thought was really hot like that, would that lead to happiness? Would it be a way to keep her?

Or what if you fell madly in love with someone whom you thought was your soulmate? Are you better off marrying her and settling down to raise a family? Would a soulmate make "settling down" a happy venture?

What do you all think?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm







Postby abcdavid01 » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:09 pm

What are you talking about? Society says you shouldn't. Or at least Feminism actively encourages women to wait before having kids and to have less of them.

Whether a family is prison or happiness depends on how people act.

I want a family to carry on my genes and values. It's something older cultures understood. You get to pass on your wisdom to someone. It's something that will exist after you die. That's why it's always a tragedy when a kid dies before his parents.

I don't think a chaotic society would make many people happy. Chaos really means violence. Much higher crime rates. You look at things like single mothers and Blacks and there's your answer. So you get people being born into poverty and a culture of violence.

What is freedom anyway? Freedom is only good if someone is responsible and has morals. Otherwise people are free to do whatever they want and that can be very destructive. Both self destructive and violent crime.

If you meet your soulmate and don't marry her you're a moron. That's if you believe in the whole soulmate thing. But I think there are tons of qualified women, even if they are well dispersed or extremely rare locally.

You can still be free in a family. My parents took my sister and I to about half of the states in America as a kid and we went overseas a few times.

To me, Feminism is evil because it actively encourages unstable families. Turns wives against husbands.
中国人万岁! 中国美女万岁!
abcdavid01
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1580
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 6:52 am
Location: On the run

Postby Ghost » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:22 pm

Should men do this? Yes, men should. Can they reasonably do so? Not in America. Even abroad seems iffy now. I haven't escaped yet, so I do want to give the idea a chance after I expat.

It's often another meat grinder for a man. Men should be rewarded for having families, not punished.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:27 pm

If so, it should be in the second half of his life, not the first half.

Families shackle men financially, intellectually, socially, and sexually. Men are free to create great things when they are unhindered by the myth of marital bliss.

In the second half of life, men are most wise and wealthy thus in the best position to impart knowledge and wealth to their offspring.

Of course, if a man is content to experience the world without the baggage of family, he can do just that best when he is free and unencumbered.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate
Contrarian Expatriate
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1405
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:57 am

Re: Should a man try to settle down and raise a family?

Postby Teal Lantern » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:37 pm

Winston wrote:Question: Should a man try to settle down and raise a family, as society and most people say you should?
[...]
What do you all think?


Should a gazelle run slower so the lion doesn't have to work so hard for its dinner?
See if you can find an episode of the original Twilight Zone called To Serve Man. :wink:
не поглеждай назад. 8)

"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
User avatar
Teal Lantern
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2686
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:48 pm
Location: Briar Patch, Universe 25

Postby momopi » Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:36 am

This is not a question of "should you", but rather, "what do you want", and if you can find someone with compatible life goals.

If you don't want to have a family and settle down, by all means, don't. If you're a cloud type person who'd enjoy being a perpetual traveler, by all means, do it.

What you should NOT do, is knowing that you'd be happier as a cloud, but choose to live as a grass and be miserable with yourself and blame everyone else for your own life choices.
momopi
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4709
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:44 am
Location: Orange County, California

Postby OutWest » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:14 am

momopi wrote:This is not a question of "should you", but rather, "what do you want", and if you can find someone with compatible life goals.

If you don't want to have a family and settle down, by all means, don't. If you're a cloud type person who'd enjoy being a perpetual traveler, by all means, do it.

What you should NOT do, is knowing that you'd be happier as a cloud, but choose to live as a grass and be miserable with yourself and blame everyone else for your own life choices.



I thought blaming others for one's own life choices was one of the major points here....
OutWest
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2060
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:09 am
Location: Asia/USA

Postby Cornfed » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:27 am

Quality men have a moral obligation to raise quality families while keeping their wives on the straight and narrow and contributing to the fabric of society. To not do so and let your genetic line and society go extinct so the regime can replace them with genetic garbage who are easier to control is to fail all your ancestors, would be descendants and the Universe. However, trying to raise a family in feminist-infested societies without some form of protection is insane. The idea is to try and find a way around the traitor system.
Cornfed
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4640
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:22 am

Postby kai1275 » Tue May 07, 2013 9:07 pm

Cornfed wrote:Quality men have a moral obligation to raise quality families while keeping their wives on the straight and narrow and contributing to the fabric of society. To not do so and let your genetic line and society go extinct so the regime can replace them with genetic garbage who are easier to control is to fail all your ancestors, would be descendants and the Universe. However, trying to raise a family in feminist-infested societies without some form of protection is insane. The idea is to try and find a way around the traitor system.


This. All other posts in this thread were utterly worthless. He even kept it religion free too. So don't try to nitpick a religion into it.

/highlighted the best part
kai1275
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:19 pm

Postby Renata » Wed May 08, 2013 4:28 pm

There's too many factors to consider, like spouse, lifestyle, age etc ... my father is a good example; he was married twice before he met my mother ... why wasn't his former marriges ideal ?? We asked him, he said if he knew he would have fixed it ... sometimes things just don't work out, then you meet someone at the right time in your life & you realise why it didn't work with anyone else.
- It's easy to give, when you know what it's like to have nothing. -

- Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. -
Renata
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1106
Joined: Sun May 06, 2012 11:14 pm
Location: Ireland

Postby theprimebait » Wed May 08, 2013 4:39 pm

Children have no benefit these days unless you enjoy raising them.in the ages of yore they were your slaves on a farm,they cared for you in your old age.

they carried on your legacy etc

but what is the importance of a legacy?when your dead,does it matter?legacy is immaterial.1000 years from now youll be forgotten.

what can a wife really offer you?validation?

I think thats it.as Sex,food,maid can be bought.

its the need to ''feel loved''since most humans cannot love themselves,they need external validation.

a good website on marriage,family,society etc

http://forbiddentruth.8k.com/

also following the social script means very little in our atomized societies.
theprimebait
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:02 am

Postby theprimebait » Wed May 08, 2013 5:07 pm

Cornfed wrote:Quality men have a moral obligation to raise quality families while keeping their wives on the straight and narrow and contributing to the fabric of society. To not do so and let your genetic line and society go extinct so the regime can replace them with genetic garbage who are easier to control is to fail all your ancestors, would be descendants and the Universe. However, trying to raise a family in feminist-infested societies without some form of protection is insane. The idea is to try and find a way around the traitor system.

Society exists to screw you and your descendants over and you have no obligation to it.
the sun will explode in 5 billion years so all else is useless.
theprimebait
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:02 am

Re: Should a man try to settle down and raise a family?

Postby Cornfed » Wed May 08, 2013 5:19 pm

theprimebait wrote: but what is the importance of a legacy?when your dead,does it matter?

This is why the self-separate-from-the-Universe secular humanist model of looking at the world is a death cult. Not only do people not breed and therefore go extinct, but they tend to be short-sighted, lazy, selfish jerks in their own lives, since most efforts aren't directly and immediately rewarded, so they figure they shouldn't bother. I suggest taking up a more positive set of beliefs such as the one I proposed in the "West needs a new religion" thread.
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16153

what can a wife really offer you?

A wife is a household appliance which if properly wired and maintained can perform a number of useful roles. Also, it turns out that the irritating, idle banter females engage in with each other on a daily basis is a critical component of the social fabric.
Cornfed
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4640
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:22 am

Postby ladislav » Wed May 08, 2013 11:06 pm

It's a natural desire, and this is why one starts getting horny and stuff at a certain age, and falls in love. The problem is if it's in the US, the society is not normal, so one's sexual urges won't be channeled into a normal, productive groove. If one is deprived of it long enough, the desire will ferment and then take new shapes. Some sickos will become kidnappers like what they had in Cleveland now. Some will become gays, some will become sex tourists and residents of Bangkok and AC. After that, it's hard to settle down and follow a natural path anymore.

After you hit 46-47, the sexual urge diminishes, but a new urge rises- you want to have kids growing up around you whom you protect, nurture and educate. But you don't have them. This is why you have all these middle aged couples dying to adopt and have a complete home.

Philosophically speaking, none of those things are lasting.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3578
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:30 pm

Postby abcdavid01 » Wed May 08, 2013 11:22 pm

Perfect answer ladislav.
中国人万岁! 中国美女万岁!
abcdavid01
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1580
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 6:52 am
Location: On the run

Next

Return to Questions and Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest