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Philippines, Thailand or Vietnam?

Ask questions and get advice, or share advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following someone's advice here.
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Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Where should I narrow my search?

Philippines
11
61%
Thailand
3
17%
Vietnam
0
No votes
Other (please specify)
4
22%
 
Total votes : 18

Postby kai1275 » Tue Sep 10, 2013 8:13 pm

Banano wrote:Virgin women in mid 30s...TBH I wouldn't go near them, they are all retarded and f***ed in the head...and she might have issues downstairs, cobwebs, juiceless dry p***y syndrome

I rather be with 35yo woman who had 2-3 relationships than virgin old bag...


:lol: :lol: :lol:

True. The only caveat is that in Asia, some of these women are surrounded by trash men who act like cave men. They might be good women that just do not have any good dating options. The US is the reverse basically.

Also, dry p***y is never the woman's fault....if you know what I mean. :wink:

It's like finding a some gold in a treasure chest somewhere. It's still gold! All you gotta do is knock the dust off it. :wink: :P
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Postby pandabear » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:52 pm

xiongmao wrote:Don't discount Thailand.

I dated two mid-30 year old Thai women this week, both were non-bargirls and very nice. Pretty sure both were virgins.

My crazy friend from Guangzhou met one of them (the guy I was telling Rock about) and he told me to marry her!

Well they're too nice for me that's for sure, as I've well and truly lost my mind in the tropical heat, but if you live here then you too can do stupid, memorable shit.

You might be able to stretch the age difference a little. But the feedback I'm getting from being here on the ground here is that nice girls here don't really go in for a massive age difference. Half your age + 7 years is as true here as it is elsewhere (apart from the Phillies I guess).

There are loads of nice girls here, the bar scene is really only half a dozen streets in a vast, vast metropolis. I've done a bit of research with WeChat. Travelling up and down Sukhumvit I see nothing but bar girls. But go 3Km North and nobody has English on their status updates, and there are good girls galore.


Well, 54/2 + 7 = 34. Not bad for an old coot. Plus, virgins that age are probably more than desperate. They'd probably want to grab me by the collar and march me to the wedding chapel.
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Postby pandabear » Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:48 pm

kai1275 wrote:Well....if you are Athiest or something. Pretend to be agnostic or something like a Unitarian. Maybe they don't give a shit, but from what I understand from people I know married to Filipino women is that most of them take God and Church fairly seriously. Hell you were married to one. Did she care? How did you guys deal with that?

There are other non-Christian sites out there too, but you might be able to find a virgin at a more religious one. If you hate God or whatever, perhaps it's best to avoid that one then.


She had been a domestic servant of an American evangelical missionary, so she had first-hand knowledge about the hypocrisy. But, I know that lots of Filipinas like to go to church.
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Postby pandabear » Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:52 pm

Banano wrote:Virgin women in mid 30s...TBH I wouldn't go near them, they are all retarded and f***ed in the head...and she might have issues downstairs, cobwebs, juiceless dry p***y syndrome

I rather be with 35yo woman who had 2-3 relationships than virgin old bag...


Janson Ong makes some good points.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-q0nmbD5yY[/youtube]


A lot of the diseases going around these days are quite terminal.

Plus, if I have "Deflower a Virgin" on my bucket list, then I can't imagine a more auspicious way of checking this one off.
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Postby Halwick » Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:08 pm

Mr. Pandabear,

You previously married a Filipina and considering marrying another? You stated that you are "hypothetically financial stable, mid-50s widower, White American fairly comfortable, but not Donald Trump who don't want to share TOO much of wealth shared with the in-laws..."

Well in the Philippines, all Kanos are Donald Trumps and that's what your hypothetical new Filipina and her family will expect of you. I don't know whether in your previous marriage you were expected to "contribute" (read subsidize") to her family regularly, but if I were to do it over again, especially in my 50s, I wouldn't want to have that financial drain. That will hypothetically take a big chunk out of your hypothetical financial assets earmarked for your hypothetical daughter's future college funds, your future medical expenses and retirement. Think about it carefully.

If that hypothetical young hot Filipina claims to be single, better verify it. She may be single in her mind, but may not be legally single. Annulments are very difficult to obtain and many don't bother. By marrying a "single" Filipina who's previous marriage is not properly annulled, you may be charged with committing adultery, which is a major offense and difficult to get out of.

You plan to hypothetically take the Filipina back to the USA (hopefully you don't live in California)? Wouldn't recommend it. She and her family will hypothetically want you to sponsor them and bring them to the USA at your expense. Then they will move into your house and take over. At some point down the road, after she hypothetically obtains her green card and permanent residence status, she will hypothetically divorce you, get all your assets, and sponsor that hypothetical Pinoy husband whom she never properly annulled and move into your former house.

You may say "not all are like that" or "not my honey ko", but there are too many documented cases that shows otherwise. Check out this website and read the posters' experiences: http://ulyssesulysses.hubpages.com/hub/ ... xperiences

Good luck on your search.

Re classical musical requirement: Most likely that will be found that in someone educated and middle/upper class. How about Japanese, Chinese or Korean? Higher probability you'll find that in these women than someone from Philippines, Thailand or Vietnam.
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:14 am

Yeah, dare I say it, but there aren't too many super smart women in SE Asia. Actually there are, but many of them don't work in SE Asia, so you won't find them here.

I've found plenty of good Thai ladies. But read Stickman Bangkok to hear of 10,000+ experiences with bad ladies.

To find good Thai ladies you'd really need to live here for a while. I've been here 3 months now and I'm only just finding my dating form. But I've now met more ladies than I did in China.

On the virgin thing, the older ones with cobwebs are far less desirable than the ones who have had a few partners. Once you "awaken" a woman then it's natural for her to wonder if sex with somebody else is better than sex with you.

Also it's a peer review type of thing - I want a woman that other men find at least partially desirable.
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Postby pandabear » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:42 am

Halwick wrote:You may say "not all are like that" or "not my honey ko", but there are too many documented cases that shows otherwise. Check out this website and read the posters' experiences: http://ulyssesulysses.hubpages.com/hub/ ... xperiences


Thanks for the fascinating read. I don't have any illusions about, well, any woman marrying me based upon mutual hormonal reactions at this point in my life. For a Filipina, I would have an entry visa and probably a lifestyle upgrade to offer. I'm aware of a lot of scammers. In fact I know of someone older than I am, and who quite suddenly announced to his wife that he was divorcing her to marry a woman in the Philippines with whom (he thought) he had an online relationship, and to whom he had transferred tens of thousands of dollars. You can all guess how that one ended.

Re classical musical requirement: Most likely that will be found that in someone educated and middle/upper class. How about Japanese, Chinese or Korean? Higher probability you'll find that in these women than someone from Philippines, Thailand or Vietnam.


Are Chinese, Japanese and Korean ladies open to marrying Americans? I know that Japanese and Koreans don't really have visa issues. But, I understand that Korea has a huge shortage of women, due to gender-selective abortion during the past generation. Similarly for China. And, I know not to bother with Taiwan.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:47 am

xiongmao wrote:Yeah, dare I say it, but there aren't too many super smart women in SE Asia. Actually there are, but many of them don't work in SE Asia, so you won't find them here.

I've found plenty of good Thai ladies. But read Stickman Bangkok to hear of 10,000+ experiences with bad ladies.

To find good Thai ladies you'd really need to live here for a while. I've been here 3 months now and I'm only just finding my dating form. But I've now met more ladies than I did in China.

On the virgin thing, the older ones with cobwebs are far less desirable than the ones who have had a few partners. Once you "awaken" a woman then it's natural for her to wonder if sex with somebody else is better than sex with you.

Also it's a peer review type of thing - I want a woman that other men find at least partially desirable.


Believe me, the longer you stay, the more Thai you learn, and the deeper you become entrenched in the society, the better it gets. You have only scratched the very tip of the surface. It will get better.
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Postby pandabear » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:50 am

xiongmao wrote:Yeah, dare I say it, but there aren't too many super smart women in SE Asia. Actually there are, but many of them don't work in SE Asia, so you won't find them here.

I've found plenty of good Thai ladies. But read Stickman Bangkok to hear of 10,000+ experiences with bad ladies.

To find good Thai ladies you'd really need to live here for a while. I've been here 3 months now and I'm only just finding my dating form. But I've now met more ladies than I did in China.

On the virgin thing, the older ones with cobwebs are far less desirable than the ones who have had a few partners. Once you "awaken" a woman then it's natural for her to wonder if sex with somebody else is better than sex with you.

Also it's a peer review type of thing - I want a woman that other men find at least partially desirable.


I was in Thailand about 30 years ago. Had the time of my life. As I saw the situation (back then), women were divided into 2 classes: women who remained virgins until marriage, and prostitutes. Perhaps times have changed, but I could have easily found a wife, even as a poor backpacker.
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Postby pandabear » Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:55 am

The most recent post on that HUB page ends with

"The mission of this Hub is NOT to serve as a tutorial on how to navigate filipina scam tactics in all their chameleon forms and avenues to find that "diamond in the rough". Any posts found to even subtly go in that kind of direction and against the mission of this Hub will be promptly deleted."

That hub page is a very long indictment of the Philippines and of Filipinas, and doesn't want any other perspective to balance things out.
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Postby Halwick » Sat Sep 14, 2013 6:25 am

Mr. Pandabear,
Now I'll agree the moderators of that Hub are heavy handed in judiciously deleting posts that serves to disrupt and deflect from the purpose of that hub. And yes, in doing so they present one side, but not without reason. The side they present needs to be seen and heard undistorted.

There was a another hub called "Ultramagnus" that also tried to discuss the same issues, but it was an unmoderated hub and the overzealous Filipinas and their Western-sympathizers" completely overran the hub and through sheer numbers of posts distorted the original purpose of the hub and eventually shut it down. The moderators "TanfromAustralia" and "objectivelyspeaking" learned that lesson.

That Hub exposes a side of the Philippine culture and Filipinas that they don't want the clueless naïve Kano to know about It discusses and exposes the REAL reasons a young, attractive 20-something year old Filipina wants to marry a western man; the REAL reason she is willing to marry a Western man 30, 40, 50 years her SENIOR; the REAL reason why they are so desperate to get out of the Philippines. And then there's her REAL agenda: to get her "Rich Kano" husband to support HER family and extended relatives by draining his assets to achieve that end.

Most Filipinas will deny that. Anybody who wants to marry a Filipina ought to know what they are REALLY getting themselves into and understand what her REAL agenda is.

I almost got roped and tied into a relationship with a most charming Filipina whose real agenda was to get me to support her family. Fortunately I saw that coming and nipped the relationship in the bud. I've had many friends who married Filipinas who lost everything. I've read a lot of anecdotal stories that stated the same thing.

(Note: I didn't say ALL Filipinas are like this, but the trend and numbers runs toward a high percentage, therefore I can say with confidence, MOST.)

In view of this revelation, I think I'd rather marry an educated middle-class Chinese, Japanese or Korean woman. The ones who are Christians (yes they exist) are probably more receptive to marrying an American.



[quote="pandabear"]The most recent post on that HUB page ends with

"The mission of this Hub is NOT to serve as a tutorial on how to navigate filipina scam tactics in all their chameleon forms and avenues to find that "diamond in the rough". Any posts found to even subtly go in that kind of direction and against the mission of this Hub will be promptly deleted."

That hub page is a very long indictment of the Philippines and of Filipinas, and doesn't want any other perspective to balance things out.[/quote]
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Postby pandabear » Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:39 pm

Well, okay. I can see the point, then.

I don't know that "most" Filipinas fit the profile, but I strongly suspect that most Filipinas on dating sites are scammers.

The desire to support one's parents financially is not just Filipino culture--most Asians are like this. A Singaporean or Korean who married a Filipina would understand this and make allowances. A Westerner would probably be in for a shock. A Filipina who married a Singaporean or Korean would probably also be expected to take care of her husband's parents.

And, before anyone marries anyone, he had really better do what he can to secure his assets. Transferring his properties into a revocable living trust, and getting a prenuptial agreement agreed to, are extremely important.

Also, in the Philippines, people tend to regard their children as investments. Particularly poor people make lots of babies, with the idea of the babies eventually growing up and supporting them.

The usual arrangement is that when a child grows up and starts working, 90% of his pay goes to his parents, and 10% to him. For the OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers), this is typically formalized by the employing agency. If he marries, then the 90% goes to his wife, and he keeps 10%. As in other Asian countries, the wife usually controls the money.

Often, the parents may support the eldest child through university, with the expectation that when this child starts working, he will support his younger siblings through school.

Before anyone marries a Filipina, he should try to get a sense of the family's financial expectations.

Also, most Filipinos do have very little sense of budgeting and of saving money--if they have some, then they feel like they have to spend it right away, or else they will feel obliged to give it away. If they open a savings account--the interest won't keep up with inflation. Instead, they buy gold jewelry, with the idea of cashing it in at a pawn shop when they have an emergency.
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Postby pandabear » Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:35 pm

Here is Thai Professional Introductions

http://www.thai-professional.com/

Mr. Lynch seems to specialize in middle aged women with kids.

Here is Bebots Only

http://bebotsonly.com/

Quite a lot of impressive girls among whom to choose. BUT, one red flag: he is in Angeles Cities, which makes me wonder whether he is pawning off harlots.

Looking at A Foreign Affair's testimonials:

http://www.loveme.com/tour/testimonials.shtml

Quite a lot of old gents with Filipinas.

If you browse through their Asian Women section

http://www.loveme.com/mp/asian-women.htm

it seems that most of the Chinese women are middle aged with a child.

For the tours in Thailand:

http://www.loveme.com/tour/thailand/thailand.htm

My suspicion is that most of the women who participate in the socials are harlots. A romance with a Thai harlot would be quite unwise.
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Postby xiongmao » Sat Sep 14, 2013 3:16 pm

anamericaninbangkok wrote:Believe me, the longer you stay, the more Thai you learn, and the deeper you become entrenched in the society, the better it gets. You have only scratched the very tip of the surface. It will get better.


Good Lord, that's certainly true.

Every type of lady here, good girls, bad girls and plenty in between. But you've got to stay here a while to get to find the good girls.

The bad girls are much more fun though :lol: .
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Postby Halwick » Sat Sep 14, 2013 3:21 pm

[quote="pandabear"]Well, okay. I can see the point, then.

I don't know that "most" Filipinas fit the profile, but I strongly suspect that most Filipinas on dating sites are scammers.

The desire to support one's parents financially is not just Filipino culture--most Asians are like this. A Singaporean or Korean who married a Filipina would understand this and make allowances. A Westerner would probably be in for a shock. A Filipina who married a Singaporean or Korean would probably also be expected to take care of her husband's parents.

And, before anyone marries anyone, he had really better do what he can to secure his assets. Transferring his properties into a revocable living trust, and getting a prenuptial agreement agreed to, are extremely important.

Also, in the Philippines, people tend to regard their children as investments. Particularly poor people make lots of babies, with the idea of the babies eventually growing up and supporting them.

The usual arrangement is that when a child grows up and starts working, 90% of his pay goes to his parents, and 10% to him. For the OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers), this is typically formalized by the employing agency. If he marries, then the 90% goes to his wife, and he keeps 10%. As in other Asian countries, the wife usually controls the money.

Often, the parents may support the eldest child through university, with the expectation that when this child starts working, he will support his younger siblings through school.

Before anyone marries a Filipina, he should try to get a sense of the family's financial expectations.

Also, most Filipinos do have very little sense of budgeting and of saving money--if they have some, then they feel like they have to spend it right away, or else they will feel obliged to give it away. If they open a savings account--the interest won't keep up with inflation. Instead, they buy gold jewelry, with the idea of cashing it in at a pawn shop when they have an emergency.[/quote]

Mr. Pandabear,
Thank you for your insightful and thoughtful comments on the financial realities of the Asian, particularly Filipino culture.

I'm learning the daughter's financial subsidy expectations aren't limited to Philippines, but also in Thailand and other SE Asian regions, particularly among the poor families. But it doesn't seem to be expected in the more developed NE Asian countries like Japan, Korea or Taiwan. In the Japanese culture, the oldest SON bears the responsibility and obligation, not the daughter. The daughter who married out no longer carries that responsibility; her responsibility is focused on her husband, which is how it should be.

Based on my conversations with my friends and acquaintances who married Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese women, they are NOT expected to subsidize his wife's family.

Your comment that Asia men hand over their paycheck to his wife and she gives him 10% back and that the wife controls the finances is consistent with my observations and experiences. This is something that most western men are not used to and the main source of marital problems. And yes, it is important for the western man who marries an Asian woman to understand HER expectations and work out the groundrules regarding who controls the finances.

Question: IF the husband hands over his entire paycheck to his wife, who most likely sends a substantial portion of that money to HER parents and siblings and family, how can he support his wife and children on that remaining meager 10%??

Regarding the Filipino's poor sense of financial responsibility: That is 100% consistent of what I've observed. If I were to marry a Filipina, I would NOT allow her to control the finances. My friends who married NE Asian women, particularly Japanese women, seem to find them more financially responsible. That's one of the reasons I'm leaning toward women from that region, rather than Philippines, Thailand or other SE Asian countries.

Your other suggestions about getting a sense of your future wife's family financial expectations, prenuptial agreements and transferring property and assets into a revocable living trust are valuable prudent advice. Thank you.

You seem to have everything under control and have a awareness of the underlying dynamics of the Filipino-western relationship.
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