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I am shy and a loner

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I am shy and a loner

Postby MAR2264419 » Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:01 am

I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?
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Postby Cornfed » Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:15 am

Don't sweat it Bro. It is a sign of the times and not necessarily a problem with you.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby zboy1 » Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:24 am

MAR2264419 wrote:I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?


I act somewhat like that in the West, of course. But once I'm in China/Asia, my personality changes. I guess its because I feel more comfortable in this part-of-the-world, and also because people here don't act like jerks and douchebags like Americans/Westerners often do. Also, introverts are more accepted in Asia--I think? The social scene is much better for my personality in Asia, for some reason...
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby ***JP*** » Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:33 am

MAR2264419 wrote:I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?



It's not you at all. Society makes you believe it's your fault but it's not. Consider what you said now as a sign that you need a new start abroad in a place where you can start from zero. My only advice would be, save your money, get your passport and head to the country that you always dreamed about visiting or even finding love in. The experience of being abroad and away from this bubble is life changing for the better. You will feel more confident in yourself and it will be an awakening that will make you realize that it's this society that screws up people.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » Sat Sep 28, 2013 4:03 pm

MAR2264419 wrote:I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?


Dude. I'm not ragging on you, but if you had confidence, you would have a.ss out the ying-yang there in PHoenix. Phoenix is an interracial paradise for a lot of Black men!! It's just that they are still AW out there in PHX so you they have that feminazi choice but as long as you are piping them down correctly, they will not summon daddy gov't onto you.

It's a great place to keep your c.ock wet until you expatriate. I left because of the type of job I want to get, and Phoenix doesn't have what I'm looking for at the moment. If I had more ASP.NET MVC experience, I probably could land a job in PHX, but I have more SharePoint.NET experience and the market is Goldwater-redneck "good ol' boy" networked and SharePoint-market-limited there. I also left because I had no place to go with no job anymore and I didn't want to sleep in the streets with all the stuff I have to my name (the shelter I was in was running out of time for me to stay: 4 months per year per client).

I think losing your virginity to a cool non-westernized woman would be cool but it would also blow your mind. I hope you aren't gullible in that even a FW (i.e. foreign woman) doesn't rake you over the coals. I think you need to build your foundation of wisdom by reading, studying, and internalizing the good truthful stuff a lot of us here on HA have to say.

P.S.: Poster ****JP**** is a Puerto Rican guy whom had found his love in the FSU country of Lithuania Im guessing and he is happily married and learning the culture and the language there. He seemed shy, but dude definitely got his s.hit together and hit the ground running.

SkateboardStephen too. He was raked over the coals by AW, and still overcame that c.rap and now is residing in Brasil watching bundalele flicks happily married.

Man o' man, we have more resilient posters than those two! Stick around; you'll see, guy!
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
Debut mixtape "The Skilled Neophyte of RNB (x64)" dropping Spring 2016 - Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby tre » Sat Sep 28, 2013 4:20 pm

MAR2264419 wrote:I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?



I was like that when I was younger. I am guessing you are somewhere between 18-20? I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24. Women in the USA don't respect virginity in general and many won't want to take it either. You don't want to end up giving it some skank just to get rid of it (which is what I did) anyway. I think you'd best give it to someone that would be honored by it....someone outside of Western Countries. It will be much more memorable IMO. I am a completely different person now at 36. A lot of it is about self-discovery and personal growth IMO, but being on a forum such as this will help A LOT. This is something I never had when I was your age and no one around me could teach me anything either (small town). When you say that you are selfish with family/people in general, I'm guessing you are a needy person? Would you say that is correct or did you mean something else? I WAS a needy person and that is something you'll want to adjust. It takes time, but once you find your confidence, self-esteem, etc....the world will be a different/better place.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby Jester » Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:58 am

tre wrote:
You don't want to end up giving it some skank just to get rid of it (which is what I did) anyway. I think you'd best give it to someone that would be honored by it....someone outside of Western Countries. It will be much more memorable IMO.



+1
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby Jester » Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:05 am

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
P.S.: Poster ****JP**** is a Puerto Rican guy whom had found his love in the FSU country of Lithuania Im guessing and he is happily married and learning the culture and the language there. He seemed shy, but dude definitely got his s.hit together and hit the ground running.



Yeah I was thinking Baltics (or Japan).

But shy intelligent types are respected ANYWHERE more than in the loutish, swaggering U.S.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:10 am

Jester wrote:
E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
P.S.: Poster ****JP**** is a Puerto Rican guy whom had found his love in the FSU country of Lithuania Im guessing and he is happily married and learning the culture and the language there. He seemed shy, but dude definitely got his s.hit together and hit the ground running.



Yeah I was thinking Baltics (or Japan).

But shy intelligent types are respected ANYWHERE more than in the loutish, swaggering U.S.


Loutish swaggering in a snobby accent. I like that. :-)
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
Debut mixtape "The Skilled Neophyte of RNB (x64)" dropping Spring 2016 - Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby ***JP*** » Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:51 pm

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
MAR2264419 wrote:I been shy most of my life. Throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Is that part of the reason why I have no success in dating, and not having experience in sex (virgin) .. never been a social butterfly, never really had to much friends And when I did they didn't stick around to long...:( ..is it somewhat true when your a loner you tend to be selfish With family or people in general?


Dude. I'm not ragging on you, but if you had confidence, you would have a.ss out the ying-yang there in PHoenix. Phoenix is an interracial paradise for a lot of Black men!! It's just that they are still AW out there in PHX so you they have that feminazi choice but as long as you are piping them down correctly, they will not summon daddy gov't onto you.

It's a great place to keep your c.ock wet until you expatriate. I left because of the type of job I want to get, and Phoenix doesn't have what I'm looking for at the moment. If I had more ASP.NET MVC experience, I probably could land a job in PHX, but I have more SharePoint.NET experience and the market is Goldwater-redneck "good ol' boy" networked and SharePoint-market-limited there. I also left because I had no place to go with no job anymore and I didn't want to sleep in the streets with all the stuff I have to my name (the shelter I was in was running out of time for me to stay: 4 months per year per client).

I think losing your virginity to a cool non-westernized woman would be cool but it would also blow your mind. I hope you aren't gullible in that even a FW (i.e. foreign woman) doesn't rake you over the coals. I think you need to build your foundation of wisdom by reading, studying, and internalizing the good truthful stuff a lot of us here on HA have to say.

P.S.: Poster ****JP**** is a Puerto Rican guy whom had found his love in the FSU country of Lithuania Im guessing and he is happily married and learning the culture and the language there. He seemed shy, but dude definitely got his s.hit together and hit the ground running.

SkateboardStephen too. He was raked over the coals by AW, and still overcame that c.rap and now is residing in Brasil watching bundalele flicks happily married.

Man o' man, we have more resilient posters than those two! Stick around; you'll see, guy!



Well I'm currently in the process of getting my residence visa approved and as soon as it's approved I will be on a plane to reunite with my wife.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby fschmidt » Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:57 pm

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:Dude. I'm not ragging on you, but if you had confidence, you would have a.ss out the ying-yang there in PHoenix

I haven't lived on Phoenix but I assume it's not much different from the rest of the cesspool of America. And that means that confidence is worthless, what women like is arrogance which is different. My advice is to forget about American women, and to use prostitutes as needed until you can escape from America and look for a girlfriend. That's what I did.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby Hero » Mon Sep 30, 2013 1:37 am

tre wrote:I was like that when I was younger. I am guessing you are somewhere between 18-20? I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24. Women in the USA don't respect virginity in general and many won't want to take it either. You don't want to end up giving it some skank just to get rid of it (which is what I did) anyway. I think you'd best give it to someone that would be honored by it....someone outside of Western Countries. It will be much more memorable IMO. I am a completely different person now at 36. A lot of it is about self-discovery and personal growth IMO, but being on a forum such as this will help A LOT. This is something I never had when I was your age and no one around me could teach me anything either (small town).


+1 This describes me too. With lots of hard work and courage, I underwent a lot of growth, got over my shyness, and became a total stud muffin by age 32 :D I also made the mistake of sleeping with a psycho just to get rid of my virginity.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby Jester » Mon Sep 30, 2013 6:52 am

fschmidt wrote:
.....confidence is worthless, what women like is arrogance which is different.



Wow. Interesting distinction. Care to elaborate? I ask because a common refrain on here is you don't need artificial PUA "game", you just need confidence.

Could you give some examples of confidence vs. arrogance, causing/not causing female attraction?
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby fschmidt » Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:05 pm

Jester wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
.....confidence is worthless, what women like is arrogance which is different.



Wow. Interesting distinction. Care to elaborate? I ask because a common refrain on here is you don't need artificial PUA "game", you just need confidence.

Could you give some examples of confidence vs. arrogance, causing/not causing female attraction?

The dictionary definitions show the difference well enough. One can obviously be confident without being arrogant as in "quiet confidence". One can also arrogant without being confident as in the fake showoff who knows he's full of it. Women in feminist countries are attracted to assholes, and being arrogant is one of the best indications of being an asshole which is what these women love. Guys who are very good at what they do and are quietly confident as a result have no appeal to femisphere women. But guys who are full of shit, good at nothing and know it, but talk up a storm appeal to femisphere women.
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Re: I am shy and a loner

Postby zacb » Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:49 pm

Jester wrote:
E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
P.S.: Poster ****JP**** is a Puerto Rican guy whom had found his love in the FSU country of Lithuania Im guessing and he is happily married and learning the culture and the language there. He seemed shy, but dude definitely got his s.hit together and hit the ground running.



Yeah I was thinking Baltics (or Japan).

But shy intelligent types are respected ANYWHERE more than in the loutish, swaggering U.S.


This +1 .
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