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Outside of the middle East, most women, even traditional ones, would find such constant observation and contact to be oppressive at worst and unattractive at best. Familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying goes, and your own obsessive watch will likely lead to her resentment and the ultimate demise of your relationship. I thought just like you, I was jealous and obsessive and quite frankly annoying in hindsight and it cost me any chance of things working.
Relationships of any sort built on ideals are unhealthy by their very nature. No one can live up to an ideal, because people aren't perfect. When this failure inevitably occurs, it leads to unhappiness and resentment from both parties for psychological reasons I could elaborate upon if I went typing on a smart phone.
You clearly have very little understanding of how female attraction works as well. It isn't the time you spend with her that makes her love you, its the time she spends without you wishing you were there that makes her long for you.
And when it comes to sex, some women just aren't very sexual. She may nit have a high sex drive or perhaps she might have issues with pain during sex (which is way more common than most men realize) due to anatomical reasons, you never know. And when you are actually going at it, what you are into and what she is into might end up being very different to the point that sex isn't that good for either of you, something you will never know till you get down to business. It isn't about practice, it's about taste. You can't just train most women as if they were dogs. Not if you want them to love you, anyway.
All of this assumes you want a woman that actually loves you rather than just a baby incubator that cooks and cleans but you otherwise couldn't care one way or another how she feels toward you so long as she is loyal. If you want the latter, by all means, carry on.
What I want is to marry an attractive girl that is a virgin. I would want to do most things with her, have her by my side, and have her be a companion. I want to be able to show her off and have people know how lucky I am because I have a girl like her. I want her to be a source of happiness, love me, be devoted to me, and boost my ego. I want a girl that makes me feel like all my years of loneliness and being a virgin while most other people aren't (including many younger than I) meant something, which means she should be a virgin and help me to live experiences I missed out on.
Most people have goals of being rich, becoming famous, getting a good job, or any number of things. My goal is to have the love of my ideal dream girl (which I described in other threads). My goal probably seems ridiculous but I see experiencing the greatest love (the love of a girl with the qualities of a princess, which one includes virginity) as the most precious treasure in the world.
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
-Proverbs 31:10-11 New King James Version of the Bible
A virtuous bride like I describe is very rare and very valuable. This is why the greatest love is my number one goal and if I fail to achieve my goal my life is meaningless and I have no great purpose to continue living.
Female attraction is very much influenced by the media and easily susceptible towards negative influences. She should wish her man was there when he isn't, but she should always appreciate and love the time her man is with her.
As I said before, I would rather stay alone and a virgin for as long as I live rather than be with a slut. Being with a slut (or a girl that lost her virginity) for my first time would disgrace me, bring me shame, and destroy all my pride. I would have no honor left and I wouldn't be a man. I wouldn't be able to call myself a man if I lost my virginity to a girl that wasn't a virgin. So it's either I am with a virgin (and marry that virgin) or I kill myself at age 35 if I am single and a virgin. When a man in his mid-thirties his sex drive begins to decline and almost all the years of vitality would be behind me. Trying to marry a 15-19 year old virgin would be very unlikely past age 30. Then there is that movie that makes fun of men that are virgins past age 40.
The entire purpose of my life at this point is to marry a 15-19 year old virgin and have her love me. That is the only thing that keeps me going, otherwise I would just throw in the towel and probably play video games until I decide it's time to die.
I see no reason why I should live my entire life alone. Maybe if a man has other options for companionship and is willing to use p4p options or be with a girl that isn't a virgin then they could live their lives alone but I have no other options except my only option. My only option is being with a virgin (and marrying that virgin).
An example of my willpower would be if an eighteen year old, perfect 10/10, that has one previous partner (in any forms even if it wasn't actual intercourse) was throwing herself at me and willing to be with me, I would reject her because I can not compromise. Although she would be physically attractive and eighteen years old I would reject being with her because I must keep my honor and be a man (which for me means losing my virginity to a girl that is a virgin, or to use the inverse sentence, a girl that is a virgin must lose her virginity to me). I wouldn't be a man, I would be a disgrace if I lost my virginity to a girl that wasn't a virgin.
I want a girl with the values of a the idealistic princess. This means she must be a virgin. She must also be attractive and be virtuous. Those are difficult odds but I will not stop until get her and if I fail then my life is over because that is most of my purpose for living.
Accepting a consolation prize (a girl that isn't a virgin) isn't an option for me. What being with a girl that isn't a virgin would do to me is worse than death. I would have my pride and honor destroyed, be unable to call myself a man, and be disgraced. Similar to the Bushido Code's seppuku (suicide) I would kill myself before I would bring dishonor upon myself. I know that it might not seem like a big deal for most people but I can not live with myself if I was still a virgin past age 35. I also couldn't live with myself if I lost my virginity to a slut (or a girl with even 1 previous partner). So although I would hate to die a virgin, death is more honorable for me than losing my virginity to a girl that lost her virginity.
My willpower is very strong and I will not compromise my greatest purpose for living. Ideals give purpose and meaning to life. Ideals create value. I have 12 years until I'm 35 so if I'm lucky I will find an acceptable bride.
You have quite possibly the most self-centered and childish view of an ideal relationship I have ever heard. Do you completely lack the ability to empathize with other human beings? What person could be happy living a life that amounts to a prison, in which their only purpose is to please you and they are deprived of all media and social interactions? I find it unfathomable that you can actually imagine a woman finding such circumstances not only tolerable, but enjoyable. Perhaps worst of all, you give off the vibe of someone who will snap when their meticulously built house of cards finally collapses and your "perfect" relationship ends. Like, the murder-suicide type.
What attracts women may vary by culture, but how your brain develops bonding associations is a culturally independent phenomenon. If you are always there, her brain will eventually just be desensitized to your presence. Kind of like how you can be lounging around the house for a week with your dog, but it isn't until you go to the store and come home that they are excited to see you. I would explain more about the phenomenon, but I really fear how you would artificially apply it to a future relationship.
There are some traits that are universally unattractive to women, chief among them being insecurity. You may feel all holier than thou but your whole approach to dating reeks of insecurity. You should work on that, because the older you get, the harder it will be to deal with.
Finally, extreme idealism like yours tends to be secondary to either mental disease (my bet is Asperger's, as your world view is self-centered to an extreme and you lack the ability to empathize properly, but lack any other signs of sociopathy) or lack of perspective. You should get out more and expose yourself to some real world action and excitement. Go get an EMT license and ride around in the back of an ambulance while you save up some cash to go abroad, expose yourself to some real death and humanity at is worst. My bet is, once you see some real shit, your world view will change. Just do something that exposes you to people in a very real way, you seem like you need it.
I say all of this out of concern, both for you and whomever you might one day persuade to marry you.
I totally agree with what you said about how longing can create excitement. I never said I would deprive a woman of social interactions and the media. I would like for her to have friends and media, just no opportunities to cheat (usually happens at work, male friends, ex boyfriends). So she could be a business partner working with me, no alone time with male friends if she has any, and no contact with ex boyfriends (she might not have because she would be a virgin).
I can empathize and relate my feelings to other. I can completely understand different points of view and understand that people make mistakes. Despite my empathy I won't accept a girl that lost her virginity because that would destroy me.
My extreme idealism isn't related to Aspergers. The virtues of a princess are beauty, chastity (abstaining from all sexual contact, practicing courtly love until married), patience, kindness, charity, temperance, honesty, respect, and self-respect (this also related to being a virgin). These girls do exist but they're not common. My idealism is I know what my type of girl is and I know they exist. I wouldn't have the ideal if it was impossible to achieve.
It's also because I refuse to be second. I have been second in everything all my life and I will never accept a used girl and be her second. I want to be first and who I give my love to is the only aspect of my life I can control. There are many special reasons why marrying a virgin is important. She would only thinking about me. I would be special to her because the first is always special. Why should I lose my virginity to a girl that isn't and be destroyed? Why should I accept a girl that isn't a virgin and feel resentment every time I'm with her? I wouldn't even want to kiss her. I couldn't deal with that. I have thought very hard to that issue and I have come to the realization I wouldn't be happy with any girl except a virgin.
I already have a good outlook, respect other beliefs, and have a global outlook. I mentioned in the past that I could accept a slut or a girl that wasn't a virgin as a platonic friend. What I couldn't do is accept them as a lover, girlfriend, or bride. More exposure to people can't change my absolute desire to be with and marry a virgin.
http://www.lifesitenews.com/blog/want-t ... amazingly/
http://winteryknight.wordpress.com/2010 ... abilitity/
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/losing-v ... f-divorce/
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/4-cool-s ... n-the-usa/
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/study-co ... marriages/
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/the-3-le ... bstinence/
Last edited by Tsar on October 8th, 2013, 12:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
I wouldn't worry much about her getting fat because the food is very natural abroad. Processed foods, corn syrups, and toxic diets are mainly responsible for obesity. She would be my exercise partner and I would also be like her personal trainer. Having a home gym is something useful for everybody but it can also be a good daily couples activity.
Yulia Dorosh is a good example of the type of girl I find very attractive. Here's a youtube video of her exercising. So I would like to help the girl I eventually find live a healthy life and become very athletic similar to Yulia Dorosh.
ANOTHER great argument for polygamy!
So I am thinking Eastern Europe/FSU for you my friend. Tony Bochene in one of his videos said FSU girls were highly educated, ambitious, alpha girls. In a good way.
Excellent fit for you.
BTW here's wgere your poster girl is from. Close to my part of the world!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Cauc ... l_District
Tsar expressed surprise about North Caucasia as the young lady's birthplace. So I googled it again, this time I come up with a different city, this time in the heart of Ukraine.
(I think I am the victim of someone who confused similar place names in a Wikipedia article.)
Anyway the bottom line is .... UKRAINE, BABY!!!
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
It sounds like you are seeking enormous approval from your perfect-to-be lady. I used to be kind of like that until I turned 17 or so. Then I talked to older guys that went through many relationships, I read lots of forums and learned PUA. All that summed up into what HouseMD is talking about. I actually agree with him on most accounts.
Major drawback is life vs. wait. You know, do you expect to live forever? Since we are animals in our natural form, we draw enjoyment from simple pleasure. I think sex is one of those enjoyments that should exist, it is also biologically, but rather spiritually helpful. I agree that P4P is not exactly great - and is rather nasty looking at those girls that lose all emotional attachment and trust in men, but I have to admit it gives some perspective and experience, also helps to blow off some steam and feel relaxed. I think important part of sex is touch and feel rather than actual intercourse. Touch is what is missing in Western culture these days, so P4P or good massage done by young pretty girl is what is absolutely required to improve normal male functioning in many ways.
I had sex with a few virgin girls, but none of them were marriage material by any means. It was rather that those girls were living at home with their parents or could not find a decent guy to lose their virginity. Of course, all of those virgin girls were from FSU/EE. Finding a virgin in the U.S. is either impossible or will mean some emotional instability of that girl, since U.S. culture just does not approve virginity. So how do I feel about what I did? I don't really know. It is sex like any other sex for me. Yes, one of them admitted that she will always remember me since I am her first. OK, great. I do remember my first two girls as well.
Therefore, not all virgins are marriage materials or good looking or decent human beings just because they had no sex. Another point, anyone could be killed tomorrow, world is highly unpredictable. I am certainly a fan of long-term planning, but you have to recognize a need to live today. Sex feels great. Although I now kind of feel bad about sleeping with some girls that I did since I could do much better, I feel how my quality of females is steadily improving with age and experience. Girls do not want virgin guys, it is a fact. Even a virgin girl want a guy who is an experienced male to lead her in life and understand what he wants.
Third point which I argued with one of my hardcore Christian friends who was also a virgin until marriage: how do you know she is perfect? How do you know what woman you like if you haven't tried any? His response was: "She will be great because you don't know any other". I totally disagree. It is a slave mentality, like eating cheap food is great because you never tried any better. After I had lots of sex, I actually know what kind of girl I would rather have. And it was an enjoyable experience. Little, tall, Asian, European, plum and slim - I had all kinds of them. I can now say that slim girls are better in sex usually, Asian girls usually have awesome vagina's that are tight, I f***ed one Asian model who was 5'11" and it was best sex I ever had. She was not good for marriage at all though. If I waited for my perfect virgin wife I would have missed all of this experience. I also almost married twice and still glad I did not, since now I understand that both of them married decent beta-guys, but their lives are boring and slow as f**k.
Just some extra ideas and inside look from me. I respect your views, however I am on the same page with HouseMD. He sounds very much like me.
I understand that many girls might want an experienced guy. I also understand that I won't live forever. It's not about me seeking enormous approval, it's more that I want to feel special, I want to know I got a great virtuous bride, and that I get to be her first. I know I could travel and use the P4P and I could probably settle for a girl that lost her virginity but as I've said many times it would destroy me. I couldn't and wouldn't be able to live with myself because I would lose my honor and pride. I can't lose my virginity to a girl that already lost her virginity (any form of sexual experience). I wouldn't be able to call myself a man. I would look in the mirror everyday for the rest of my life knowing I got used goods, seconds, or was last while other men lost their virginity to virgin girls. I would rather remain and die a virgin, than to lose all my honor, pride, and be unable to call myself a man. The only two options I have where I can keep my honor and pride are to either lose my virginity to an attractive virgin girl or remaining a virgin until I die (it would be terrible but it's a better fate than being destroyed).
Man You need some counseling. I am telling you - every guy I know DID NOT lose his virginity to a virgin girl. My first girl was not a virgin when I had sex with her. And guess what? It's OK. I am planning on buying a used car, why? It's a good deal. I had 2 brand new cars in the past, I was happy with them and lost so much money on them, it is insane. Now I will be smart about it, I will save money with buying 3-4 years used car. So used girl is not that big of an issue. You sound like some extreme gentleman from 1700's, those were the times when people cared about pride, honor and respect. Unfortunately, in our time people like flaky, emotionally disturbed, unreliable, empty and fake people. Therefore, we need to adjust to living in this world today. Going abroad is one step to get back into some traditional culture where people still remember and value some of those good things.
Another point - one girl that I know was a virgin, she married early, lived with their husband for a few years and cheated left and right. Then she divorced him and started to bang every guy she could. Some Muslim girls that I know only do anal because they want to appear virgin for their future husbands. Also since I am in FSU, I saw a Muslim girl wearing hijab giving a blow-job to a guy in the park, it was late at night of course, but you get the point. I am sure she was drunk too, but hey - she is a virgin technically and wears hijab
Therefore, it depends, every girl is different. Sluts have their purpose as well, they are useful for casual sex. Many innocent girls on Winston's website have accounts in Facebook and other networks, they post some crazy ass pictures of kissing dudes, posing naked, licking people etc. But on the dating sites they are so innocent. There is a Russian saying: "In calm harbor you may find an evil". It is true. Some sluts know they are sluts, so they hide under innocent girl mask. On the other hand, some total sluts that drink and party like crazy are not so easy to sleep with. Go figure.
You don't have to repeat yourself, I got your point. My point is: world is more complicated than A, B and C. You really sound like a person with emotional issue, no offense, but this is a very large extent of self-centered phobia. Is this your only purpose in life, finding a virgin girl? What if she cheats on you? What if you lose your virginity with her and find out she gave anal to 100 dudes before you? Good luck bud, however I would advise you to throw this goal out of the window and go get laid. Also develop other goals, like successful career, investment, business etc. I heard you can "buy" a wife in some Muslim countries. If I was you, I would go to Uzbekistan and buy myself a virgin wife after I get successful with my career. Uzbek girls are very good looking, they value husband like their owner and do everything he tells them to do. Respect for a man is huge, I dated one Uzbek girl and loved it. Good girls would be in villages, capital city is fairly Westernized. And NO, it is NOT human trafficking. All it is that you meet a girl, talk to her parents and pay them ransom for a girl. It is an old-school tradition actually to give girls' parents something for their daughter.
I'm super late to this post, but this is right up my alley. I'm currently in the states, but I was living in China for 2011-2012. To sum it up: If you aren't getting play every day, you are doing something wrong.
Admittedly, my first 3 months pale in comparison to my later days, but there are options on pretty much every major street. 99% of all girls who are studying English or can speak it even a little bit, would be THRILLED to date you.
Even if you don't want a girlfriend, there are 1,000,000s of places to get massages (w/ or w/o a HJ) or p4p. See those hotels with bright lights on the outside, or upscale 'Royal Prince' type hotels? Ask them if they have a sauna (they do). But the best places to learn Mandarin are at the massage parlors. Do you see girls standing by the door dressed similar to sexy flight attendants? Order the 200 RMB massage and see what happens It is also a great opportunity to practice speaking mandarin and get free lessons for a young, attractive girl.
Once your Mandarin progresses, it becomes a matter of not if you can get a girlfriend, but rather how many girlfriends you can handle.
I don't need counseling. People don't understand what being with a virgin would mean to me.
I am done with online dating entirely. Whether it's American or foreign it's something I won't do for the rest of my life.
It's not my only purpose in my but it's my absolute purpose and my greatest purpose. Any other purposes would be meaningless without someone to share my life with. A life without love is a life without meaning.
I would consider that to be fraud and she would be a slut. She wouldn't be a true virgin. A girl can't give out blowjobs, anal sex, or any other non-penetrative sexual acts and be considered a virgin. A hymen doesn't make a girl a virgin. Just because she never had vaginal intercourse but she did other things doesn't make her a virgin. Virginity is physical, emotional, spiritual, a testament to a girl's virtue, metaphysical, it's one of her permanent memories (something she will always remember), complete sexual abstinence, complete sexual purity, and the greatest way she can bond with a man. I figure that if a girl wants to experience pleasure she can masturbate. It would be like she conned me into losing my virginity.
I can't do that because I want my first time to be special and that means not settling. Chastity is a virtue and I look for purity in a girl.
Trying to convince me that a virgin girl isn't important or the perfect girl for me is impossible. I wouldn't even have sex with an impure girl even if someone was willing to pay me $10,000,000 if I did it. My virtue, honor, and pride, as well as losing my virginity to a pure girl means more to me than anything because I consider it invaluable and no price could ever signify how much it's worth to me.
I believe that if people do go to an afterlife and it's a good afterlife they will life forever with all their memories from their earthly life. Material things are bound to earth but spiritual things last forever. Virginity, memories, and love last forever.
Unbelievable the horseshit and static that an American guy gets for wanting a virgin.
Any smelly unwashed dark-eyed camel-jockey from Morocco to Mandalay could say the same thing in pidgin English, and people would bite their tongue, smile, and nod.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."