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Any tips for coping with missing my Family / Homesickness?

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Any tips for coping with missing my Family / Homesickness?

Postby monochrome » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:09 am

Hi, I'm new around here.

I'll be moving to the UK to attend a course in a few months, and after that I will be moving to Japan to work on my dream job. The only thing haunting my mind right now is leaving my family. My family is REALLY close (a lot more than any other I've ever seen) - we see most of the family members more than once a week, and me and my parents act more like friends than family at times, we do a lot of things together (I also help them with their business). I also suffer from Anxiety Disorder, which doesn't really help me that much. Another thing that doesn't help, is that both my parents have had serious health problems (heart attack, the other a stroke) and while one of them is fine now (although a bit anxious as well and losing temper a lot), the other has been having some other health problems which haven't been 100% pinpointed as what they are (but the doctors have an idea - and if it's that, although it is kind of serious, it's been caught pretty early and is treatable). They're both well on their 50's.

My heart is set on going, this has been my dream for most of my life, and it's finally coming true - all those years of working while learning Japanese in my spare time and still living with my parents so I could save a lot of money are really paying off! But those years also made us a lot closer, and I think it's going to be horrible to be so far away from them, for both parties. Make that for the three parties, my grandparents included.

Anyone has any tips on how to deal with home sickness? And kind of "leaving family guilt" (I guess I feel this way because of their health, even if it is blowing it a bit out of proportion) tips? Adjusting to culture shock would be helpful as well, although I've seen plenty of that in here.

I know I am kind of suffering by anticipation here, but I can't really help it right now.

Thanks for reading, cheers!

Monochrome
monochrome
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Postby zboy1 » Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:10 pm

I think every expat deals with "homesickness" during the first couple of months away from home--but that feeling quickly subsides once you get settled in your new country...

Make sure to buy a laptop computer and download Skype so you can frequently chat with your parents or friends back home. And remember, it's free! This is very important!!!!!!!!I repeat, download Skype and make sure to have an account with them, before you leave the country.

I Skype with my friends and family every week. This will help ease the feeling of being away from family when you're overseas. Also, buy a laptop before you go overseas, because the PC's you buy abroad will operate in a different language--and will not be as good as the ones you buy stateside or in the West.

The language barrier will be the biggest contributor to the "culture shock" you will receive in Asia/Japan: don't get embarrassed or flustered because you can't communicate with people at first; you will improve in-time. Don't let that discourage you from trying to make new friends or stop you from talking to the local people you meet during your stay abroad.

Personally, I never really had to deal with homesickness myself, mostly because of how much I hated the U.S. of Gay--and couldn't wait to leave the country soon. In your case, it might be more difficult for you to adjust to the new surroundings, so my tip to you is to relax, take-it-all in, and just go-along for the ride! Think of this as a great adventure and a great time in your life. ...
zboy1
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Postby monochrome » Fri Jan 24, 2014 5:21 pm

@zboy1

Thanks a lot for the tips! Yeah, I have skype, and I recently got it working on my mother's tablet so we can keep in touch. The time zones will be all weird, but that's something we'll have to deal with. I don't dislike my country, but I don't like it either. People around here are always frowning upon others, often asking for some information on the street (directions / what time it is) you may get a very blunt response, if any at all. Sure, that probably happens everywhere, there's people like that in every country, but I've traveled a lot, and I've never seen it so much as it happens here. So yeah, in that sense I am very much looking forward to it.

The reasons I cited above is also a contributor to why I don't have many friends around here, and the ones I have are actually now living abroad, so yeah, one of my main goals is to get to know a lot of different people when I get there. About the language barrier, I am getting more and more comfortable with the language, it will be pretty weird at first, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

Thanks once again for the tips :)
monochrome
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Postby ***JP*** » Sat Jan 25, 2014 4:10 am

zboy1 wrote:I think every expat deals with "homesickness" during the first couple of months away from home--but that feeling quickly subsides once you get settled in your new country...

Make sure to buy a laptop computer and download Skype so you can frequently chat with your parents or friends back home. And remember, it's free! This is very important!!!!!!!!I repeat, download Skype and make sure to have an account with them, before you leave the country.

I Skype with my friends and family every week. This will help ease the feeling of being away from family when you're overseas. Also, buy a laptop before you go overseas, because the PC's you buy abroad will operate in a different language--and will not be as good as the ones you buy stateside or in the West.

The language barrier will be the biggest contributor to the "culture shock" you will receive in Asia/Japan: don't get embarrassed or flustered because you can't communicate with people at first; you will improve in-time. Don't let that discourage you from trying to make new friends or stop you from talking to the local people you meet during your stay abroad.

Personally, I never really had to deal with homesickness myself, mostly because of how much I hated the U.S. of Gay--and couldn't wait to leave the country soon. In your case, it might be more difficult for you to adjust to the new surroundings, so my tip to you is to relax, take-it-all in, and just go-along for the ride! Think of this as a great adventure and a great time in your life. ...



Besides the laptop I would suggest also buying a SIM unlocked smart phone too they do come in handy when your family is trying to get a hold of you. Also in my case since there's so many free wifi hotspots here my phone remembers them all across the city which is great cause here the phone companies only give you 1gb of data on their pre paid plans. I also use viber and tango chat a lot on my phone too to text family and friends. There's tons of messaging apps but the ones I use for video and voice call are skype viber and tango chat. Anyways SIM unlocked phone is always a good idea cause you can use it in any phone company as long as it's a penta band phone.
***JP***
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Postby zboy1 » Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:02 am

***JP*** wrote:
zboy1 wrote:I think every expat deals with "homesickness" during the first couple of months away from home--but that feeling quickly subsides once you get settled in your new country...

Make sure to buy a laptop computer and download Skype so you can frequently chat with your parents or friends back home. And remember, it's free! This is very important!!!!!!!!I repeat, download Skype and make sure to have an account with them, before you leave the country.

I Skype with my friends and family every week. This will help ease the feeling of being away from family when you're overseas. Also, buy a laptop before you go overseas, because the PC's you buy abroad will operate in a different language--and will not be as good as the ones you buy stateside or in the West.

The language barrier will be the biggest contributor to the "culture shock" you will receive in Asia/Japan: don't get embarrassed or flustered because you can't communicate with people at first; you will improve in-time. Don't let that discourage you from trying to make new friends or stop you from talking to the local people you meet during your stay abroad.

Personally, I never really had to deal with homesickness myself, mostly because of how much I hated the U.S. of Gay--and couldn't wait to leave the country soon. In your case, it might be more difficult for you to adjust to the new surroundings, so my tip to you is to relax, take-it-all in, and just go-along for the ride! Think of this as a great adventure and a great time in your life. ...



Besides the laptop I would suggest also buying a SIM unlocked smart phone too they do come in handy when your family is trying to get a hold of you. Also in my case since there's so many free wifi hotspots here my phone remembers them all across the city which is great cause here the phone companies only give you 1gb of data on their pre paid plans. I also use viber and tango chat a lot on my phone too to text family and friends. There's tons of messaging apps but the ones I use for video and voice call are skype viber and tango chat. Anyways SIM unlocked phone is always a good idea cause you can use it in any phone company as long as it's a penta band phone.


Yes, good advice about the phones! Almost forgot about that. Thanks for including that advice in this thread. ...
zboy1
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Postby monochrome » Sun Jan 26, 2014 8:55 pm

@***JP***

Thank you! I have a SIM unlocked iPhone (provided by my company), I will make sure to get on that. I also use a couple of 3G / Wifi based messaging apps, I just need to get my family to start using them too :)
monochrome
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