Need advice on Social Situations/Contact w/Americans

TruthOrConsequences · March 22nd, 2014, 7:20 am

A little bit of background info: At this one job I've been getting invited to different social gatherings after work for employees. They're like little night-outs or house parties and the like. Most coworkers treat me somewhat favorably and some of the women have shown light signs of interest in me. Very light, very vague though. I've skipped out on a couple of invitations already and I've been questioned about my flaking out on them and not showing up.

Overall, free booze and snacks and a bit of socializing wouldn't hurt, but there's a big BUT...

1. I've been around these people for a couple of months and I've seen them drink and socialize at work as this is a restaurant industry job. Some of them act completely obnoxious and loud. They like to talk over each other and use a lot of profanity. Around women there's plenty of gossiping going on. Even though they hang out with each other after work, they still talk behind each other's backs here and there. Typical American high school ass drama.

2. However laid back and relaxed they seem to make themselves act, you're still at work. You're partying with your bosses and coworkers, so you still have to be very careful as to what you talk about and how you act. It is all going to reflect on you and your job later on.

So here's my problem: I don't really want to hang out with them or get my life involved with my job, but at the same time I'm afraid that not showing up and ignoring their invitations is going to affect my job. Some of them may see that as being rude or flaky. Is there any way I could not show up to these social events and still be in good standing with coworkers and supervisors??

Hero · Post by **Hero** » March 22nd, 2014, 9:21 am

I know what you mean. I hate those after-work parties. But you gotta show up at a few, or they'll think you're stuck up.
Just go there, stay sober, make polite conversation, and leave as soon as possible.

TruthOrConsequences · March 23rd, 2014, 6:35 am

Well, see... that's the thing...

Showing up and not drinking or not eating their food and what not could be misconstrued as being rude.. And like I said, any little thing you do is going to be under a microscope, since you're hanging out with a bunch of American women in their 30's that talk about each other all the time..

It's like traversing a minefield.. You might as well just avoid it altogether..

TruthOrConsequences · March 23rd, 2014, 6:36 am

But thanks for the advice though... I appreciate it.. Thanks

Hero · Post by **Hero** » March 23rd, 2014, 6:56 am

If you really feel like you're under a microscope, start looking for a new job. No job is worth that amount of stress. Especially if your co-workers are pressuring you into things you don't want to do, like drinking.

TruthOrConsequences · March 25th, 2014, 3:37 am

Find a new job? Easy to say. The area where I live has a lousy job market.

Besides.. As to 'being under a microscope'... Isn't it the case with most Americans? Like you're always being judged and sized up? Don't people always try to pressure others into doing shit they don't want to do?