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12 posts • Page 1 of 1
Hey, got a quandary for you all, maybe someone can give me some guidance:
She's 18, virgin, American, religious, sweet, nice, all that. Been on two dates, she's kind of awkward, talks mostly about herself. I felt my "game" kind of faltering here and there. Made her laugh, then I'd do something a little awkward, or just act aloof.
We'd write on Facebook back and forth, often I'd not respond for a day at a time. So I wasn't acting too "interested" by any means, just a steady interest. She also seemed happy about going on the second date, too, made some arrangements to make it happen despite her schedule not being great for it (so that's a good sign). I felt things going fine after the date.
A few days later, she vanishes, texts and conversations just left hanging. I was confused. I found out her phone got left behind at a friends house, and I wondered if she was just blowing me off, because WHO doesn't have Internet at home or access to it through someone else's phone? (She does not have a car, and her friend I believe lives far away).
Really odd. I did have a friend she works with ask her what was going on (without letting her know I asked her to say that, of course). And this 18 year old said, "Oh, sorry, yeah...aw...left my phone at friends."
Finally, this friend of mine, a girl, on her own said to her, "Hey this is really RUDE, and it's been a long time, you need to let him know what's going on!"
This was just going on and on, and she seemed to make ZERO effort to let me know what happened or why she just stopped talking to me.
So, she does finally text me. She apologized, nicely. She wrote back on Facebook, but it was limp. It was not much. There were a few things I'd written she ignored.
(Bear in mind, I did drop ALL contact myself once this started, except for one message asking, "Hey, what happened to you? Who am I going to send funny memes to?" -- and that was it).
Since then, nothing from me.
It's a hard situation to read. I've gotten advice saying this girl is totally not interested and out to lunch on me, and others who said, "This is not big deal, she really did lose her phone, just resume talking to her like nothing happened."
I just feel like if a girl's interested, she's not going to let six days go by without REALLY making sure the guy knows why she's dropped off the face of the planet. My girl friend had to jump in it seemed and make an issue of it with her, like, "Hey, this is rude."
Should I just wholesale ignore her from here on out? Or write back nicely, "Oh no big deal", but then just kinda blow her off myself?
She hasn't shown much interest in me, so that's bugged me from the outset, but according to my friend who works with her she doesn't ask questions of anyone. Maybe it's just a personality thing. My friend who works with her CLAIMS -- or claimed -- she was interested in me. But I keep telling her, "Um, are you sure? Cuz I'm not feelin' it."
When a girl's 18, no experience with guys, comes from a fairly conservative religion, I think it's a little more confusing in terms of reading the situation. Could go either way on this one.
But my gut, intuition is telling me, "Hey... there should be more interest here... something is off."
By the way, that girl friend I speak of? Her boyfriend is my best friend.
And the 18 year old, the one I'm interested in? She's making my best friend a scarf. Knitting him one. Out of the blue. She doesn't know him well. I found that highly odd. They've said, "Oh, she's just nice!" Right. Who knits the boyfriend of a girl she works with a scarf? Totally 'off the rez' on that one, in my view. I'm not jealous, per se, it's just so odd to me. Knitting someone something is a fairly personal thing. And damnit, I'd like a scarf!
Some tremendous advice I thought I'd bookend this with:
Move on from this chick man...Shes playing you like a fiddle and your going along with it....I know you wanna f**k that sweet, fresh, shaved virgin p***y (I totally understand).....But this hoe is gaming you and you dont even know what to do.....
Either switch your game to pathological liar game where you lie about everything and be an unreliable bastard or you can preserve your self respect and move on from this hoe....
Heartiste is another PUA con-man, of a particularly misogynistic variety. His advice will guarantee that you only attract the nastiest possible skanks and that you drive off the nice girls. The fundamental problem is that you have little to offer this girl and are thus in a weak negotiating position. The only thing women need from men in developed countries is sex, and this girl appears sexually dead, so you have nothing to offer her.
PUA techniques like those espoused by Heartiste, to the extent they work at all, rely on manipulating women's desires for validation (proving to herself that she is attractive), social status (proving to her friends that she is attractive), and entertainment (something to kill time). But these desires just listed are not substantial material world desires, like the desires for sex and money. Rather, they are cooked up in the mind and can disappear in an instant as the mind shifts attention. A guy who uses PUA techniques on a girl is creating a drama in her life, thus satisfying her desire for entertainment. Because PUA techniques cost the guy in terms of time and effort and usually money (PUAs don't spend on the girl, but they do spend on things like fancy clothes for peacocking), they are proof that the girl is attractive, thus satisfying the desires for validation and social status. But there are other ways to get validation, social status and entertainment. For example, shopping. Even the best PUA can't compete with a brand-new pair of shoes in the eyes of most young girls. PUA techniques are mostly a waste of time. The more you spend reading PUA websites, the more you will hate women and thus be unable to relate to women who do want sex and/or who need men's money and are thus prepared to behave nicely with men.
As for moving abroad, I hope you are financially independent or have a location independent job, like running a "better women abroad" website. A better idea is periodically whoremonger abroad until you are old and retired. Then maybe move abroad.
I generally agree.
I also didn't think of heartiste as a "PUA" but more anti-female/feminist, but I suppose upon further review the entire blog of his centered on the alpha/beta paradigm and how to game chicks with texting.
In any event, it's largely a very depressing scene, everything that comes from that corner of the Internets.
There must be women that want sex and/or money, and since I can provide both, it's time I left my little hole in the desert and ventured out a bit. Probably don't need to over-think this stuff so much.
If there's "interest", I'll know it.
What is your objective? To find a wife? To take an innocent girl's virginity and ruin her for her husband? To find some emotional fulfillment with dates or a girlfriend?
If you are looking for a wife, take some of the 'game' stuff with a grain of salt. Maybe the girl wants to be pursued a bit. If you show up where she's at or something like that and she isn't into you, what do you lose? Maybe this playing hard to get with texts works if she is really interested. But you only had a couple of dates, so it may take more contact than that to build up interest. But only do that if your intentions are noble.
I didn't know about all this game stuff when I met my wife and it was back before either of us had a cell phone. I got an old one so she could contact me on a trip to another island right before we got engaged. I just kept taking her out for dinner every single night after we started seeing each other until she took that trip. We just didn't tell each other we were more than friends at first, until it was kind of silly to call each other just friends.
Knitting the scarf... that does sound rather personal. If her friend asked her to do it as a favor or for pay, that makes sense. Are they in some group where she got assigned to give the guy a Christmas present and wanted to try her knew knitting skills? Otherwise, it does sound likely she could have feelings for the guy. Is that a deal-breaker for you? He's taken. She could develop feelings for you. Would doing something like that for another girl's boyfriend show a lack of boundaries? Maybe you could write that off as immaturity if her character is good in general otherwise. Sometimes 18-year-olds do foolish things. If you are older and wiser and marry one, you'd have to train her a bit.
But if you do want a relationship with her, not texting her doesn't seem to be working. You might need to pursue her a bit. It's unlikely, but possible that at this point she'd want you to pursue a bit and make a move. That assumes she knows what she wants or that it can't change, though. Sometimes girls don't know what they want or don't know what they are going to want.
OP, why are you posting on Happier Abroad for dating advice for an AW? I think you meant to post on the Plenty of Fish forums...
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
Well now THERE'S a cheery bit of self-help advice!
PS The OP here sounds green, but he is learning fast.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
I prefer to call it a Christian dad's perspective on dating. I wouldn't want someone defiling my girls when they get older or dating them just to use them. Have a few baby girls yourself and it may change your perspective.
As said already by some members, this is probably not the right forum for you.
This forum is about how to get away from American women - to get away from feminist Western women in general. This forum is about to travel abroad for holidays, about relocation to abroad and about how to contact foreign women.
Most members here had bad experience with Western women in their past and are looking for alternative solutions, beyond the borders of USA. They are not interested in conctacts with any 'girl next door'.
Personally, what I have seen so far in Europe and Northern America, I doubt very much if a 'nice-looking' American girl, 18, is still a virgin and never had boyfriends. I never met such a Western woman in my life.
What do you know about her parents?
12 posts • Page 1 of 1
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