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My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby steezyy » Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:23 pm

Winston wrote:
steezyy wrote:Your thread title: My sexless relationship with Filipino. What to do?

People post advice & actions to follow. You proceed to ignore them.

Winston, you're so stuck in your ways that you only see what you want to see. Good advice is filtered by your ego, and 4 pages in, have you actually done anything to improve your situation?


There is good advice and bad advice. Asking for suggestions does not mean that I am obligated to agree with all suggestions and not disagree with them. Your expectation is unreasonable and illogical.

Also, please stop posting something and then deleting it with the words "delete" in the post. It makes the thread look weird and it makes you look mentally unstable.


Thanks for proving my point. Your ego filters advice into "good" and "bad" advice, which is basically just advice you want to hear vs advice you do not (aka the hard truth).

Marco has already said everything that needs to be said. By the way Winston, you're a deadbeat dad. Reality check.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby MarcosZeitola » Thu Apr 02, 2015 6:44 am

Speaking of dodging questions, Winston...

Winston wrote:MarcosZeitola,
Have you lost your marbles?


No I have not. That is why I take full responsibility for the child I made and for the further children I am to make. If I, like you, was lacking in cojones, I would simply run away from the task, distance myself from the son I left behind and tell myself that just sending money is already enough.

Winston wrote:You are dodging many of my questions. And you are not being realistic.


As you dodged many of mine. Such as the cardinal question: why do you want to get married when everything you have said on these forums points towards you not being marriage material? Starchild made a very convincing case for this, I believe on this very thread.

Winston wrote:Why do you expect me to do something I don't want to do just because you or society says so? If my heart isn't in it, why should I force myself to do it?


Sometimes in life, the right thing is not always the thing that is most enjoyable. If you cannot step over your own shadow and make sacrifices for other people, people that you are responsible for, then you are a bad person, plain and simple. Not because of society, not because of, but because you have a son that needs you. Tell me, Winston, do you love Angelo or not? If you have a child with a Chinese woman, will you treat him the same as Angelo?

Winston wrote:Why should I go live in the Philippines again if I don't want to? Why should I stay with a girl I have no love or attraction for? WTF are you smoking?!


You don't have to stay with Dianne. For all I care you get a house across the street, and you have Angelo live with you a few times a week, or in weekends. Or you visit every couple of days. That would be enough. You can see as many cheap whores as you want on the side to keep your hedonistic desires satisfied, and you can even convince your Chinese lady to come with you for all I care. I never said you had to live with Dianne. Just that you cannot just abandon your son and expect people here to still think you're a good person.

Winston wrote:If I quit my China trip and go back now, Rock and Ethan_sg will ask me "WTF are you doing Winston?" and I'll tell them, "I'm going back to be with Dianne and Angelo because MarcosZeitola GUILT TRIPPED me into going back."


So what? You aren't going back because to take care of your only child because you are afraid your friends might not understand? What sort of spineless p***y behavior is that? If I am guilt tripping you, though, that means you at least are aware that what you are doing is immoral, and you are capable of feeling guilty over it. That means you aren't a sociopath, which is a good thing.

Winston wrote:What will they think of that? Ask them. You can even ask Momopi, our practical Taiwanese advisor here, if that would be a good idea.


I am not asking anyone. I'm not even asking you anything. I am simply giving my opinion on what you are doing and why I think it is immoral, bad and selfish.

Winston wrote:Furthermore, if I go back to Philippines and realize it was a mistake, then I will have to buy another ticket back to China and go through the hassle again. Then I will blame you for it.


So blame me. You made one mistake, and that mistake was to father a child with a woman you did not love and felt no genuine attraction towards. Now you are making another mistake, to abandon that child. A child with whom you will have a bad relationship, if you will even be in contact in the future. You neglect him, and it will cost you dearly. There's a little boy who needs you and he will continue to need you. He may be praying at night, and maybe he asks God to give him a father like the other boys. Or maybe he asks why his father doesn't love him? Why his father does not want him? Why his father wants to marry a Chinese woman and live far away, and raise another child and ignore him?

Winston wrote:Also you're not offering me anything Marcos. Me going back to be a father and living in the Philippines, brings nothing for me. I'm into Chinese women now. So that's my goal and objective. Why is that over your head? You seem so narrow and you don't LISTEN to anything I say! You're essentially asking me to FORCE myself to do something I don't want to do. Is that wise or even possible? THINK man!


I am not asking you anything. All I did was make an observation, and I observed a few undeniable facts:

-you have decided you wanted a child with Dianne
-you and Dianne no longer felt attraction towards one another
-you decided you felt more attracted to Chinese women and want to marry one
-you thought sending some money over to Angelo and Dianne is good enough
-you decided to pursue romance in China and not live near your son, and not be a part of his upbringing

Did I not listen? Sure I did! I just disagree with your world view is all. And I think you are acting like a selfish Western woman choosing your own happiness over that of your only child. That's the same mentality American career women have. The "me, me, me!" attitude. So, YES! Maybe you SHOULD force yourself to not act like an American career woman, to not act like such a self-centered bastard and think of the needs of your son rather then your own. If you cannot do that, fine, but the least you can do is recognize you are at fault here and see the damage you are causing.

Winston wrote:One more thing. I'm getting old now and I need to get married ASAP. My China trip is three years later because God kept blocking me since 2012 which f***ing PISSES ME OFF like you won't believe! f**k man! Every day I look up and curse the heavens because of it! I'm not even living in 2015 in fact. I am still living in 2012 because my life and my time did not move on from there cause an invisible hand thwarted my plans. Do you know how pathetic that is?!


Maybe that invisible hand of God thwarted your plans for a reason. Maybe He thwarted your plans because a little boy prayed to Him, "Please, God, give me a father like the kids in my class!" and God answered Angelo's prayer and not yours. Because He is a just God.

But sure... go be pissed off because you cannot live your own perfect fairytale romance novel life, never minding the wants and need of your son. Priorities, man, priorities. Make your own priorities, live your own life, but don't ask me to pat you on the back and tell you you're a good man when you're clearly not. You are getting old, you are set in your ways, and this marriage you claim to be after is never going to work.

Mark my words, this is a promise to you: you may get married but it will not last.

Winston wrote:Anyhow, I already realized that I'm not suited or meant to marry a Filipina. Best to marry a Chinese. So I am in a rush to get married now. That's an important factor here. Did you ever consider that? NO YOU DIDN'T! You are totally INCONSIDERATE of everything I say and my needs. Doesn't that make you an a-hole MarcosZeitola???!!!


I am inconsiderate and an asshole because you choose to abandon your son and I call you out on it? Dude you're so full of it... :roll:
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby MrMan » Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:58 am

Winston wrote,
Yet in spite of 300 years of wrongdoings toward the Indians and others, America went on to become the richest and most powerful nation in the world by the end of the 19th Century and now is the leader of the world in power, technology and influence. So no, sorry, no karmic retribution there. Your theory of "delayed karmic retribution" is just a copout. Sorry but the universe isn't fair or just. Your morality may be just an illusion for the masses.


I believe in sowing and reaping. I don't call it karma. I believe God judges. Sometimes people suffer for their own sins in this lifetime, but there is also a day of judgment after lifetime is over. As far as the judgment of nations go, that can take a while. God did not give Abraham's family the promised land yet. His descendants would be enslaved four generations first, because the cup of the Amorites was not yet full. I take that to mean the Amorites wickedness hadn't reached a level that allowed for their judgment. Maybe the other Canaanite groups had. They were pretty sick and wicked, but Israel would get the Amorites land as well. It took over 400 years for Abraham's descendants to return and conquer the Amorites and other people-groups there. The first English colonies were just barely over 400 years ago.

My son may want me around, but he doesn't obey my commands and he won't allow me to take him to school. So much for respect. He watches trashy TV shows and has no taste either.


A father has to teach his children to obey, and it's an ongoing daily process. Seven-year-olds don't just automatically obey. You have to teach and discipline, preferably before they reach 7-years-old. I can get my 3-year-old to obey me. I had a Japanese friend who was trying to be all alpha with his wife. He seemed kind of domineering in some ways. His one-year-old son didn't obey his every word, of course. He was so little, and energetic like boys are. I told my now seven-year-old girl, back when she was about 4, to do something, and she obeyed me, and he said, "Wow, she does what you say." You have to teach them to obey. Sometimes you have to insist. It's not like dealing with regular adults we meet where we respect their wishes and let them do what they want.

As far as the trashy TV shows go, it's the parents job to say, "That show is trashy. You can't watch it." I wouldn't let my kids watch an episode of Family Guy, for example. It's too trashy.

You also seem to be under the fallacy that a son's life is ALWAYS more important and worth more than his father's. That makes no sense. Look at the greatest men in history. In every case, their children did NOT go on to do the same great things or even unique things, that their fathers did. You can say this about any great man in history, such as Benjamin Franklin for example. Or Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Buddha, etc. Most of them had sons who became ordinary men.


What did their daddies do that was so great? I think we also have a case of unnotable fathers having notable sons. Benjamin Franklin's son was a governor. I think it was New Jersey. He was on the loyalists side. At least he was well-known and had an important job. His daddy helped him get the job.

It doesn't matter who is famous. It is a father's job to raise his children, do good for them, and sacrifice for them as necessary.

Btw, I don't think you are doomed to never marry or have a divorce. But I certainly believe you need 'metanoia'-- repentance, a change of how you think and of what's in your heart.

As far as this woman goes, apparently you had enough interest in her to have enough sex to produce a child. If I had slept around and had a 'baby momma' who wasn't married who I thought wouldn't have as much sexual passion as I'd want, I might try the rational approach of telling her I might marry her if she'd go the extra mile and make the effort to be passionate about sex and do it X times a week (or day :) or whatever). I don't really know Filippinas about this, but some of them might be okay with the idea of negotiating terms for a practical marriage (as opposed to it being only all about 'being in love' like some American girls.) Maybe she doesn't float your boat and you aren't interested. It would probably be better if you had feelings for each other if you were wanting to get married.

But going into a marriage thinking if you don't get quite what you want, that you'll go to hookers or girlfriends would be a way to really destroy a marriage.

Something else to keep in mind is that with each passing year, those glands in your shorts produce less and less testosterone. Gradually the sex drive dies down. You are getting older, not younger. When you get old, if you end up not being able to change your own depends, it's good to have family to look after you. If you spend a life chasing prostitutes and girlfriends that you don't marry, you aren't building those family relationships. For the sake of your business, if you married and had a strong family, it could be good for your 'branding' for your online presence for the wholesome aspects of it that cater to men who are looking for good traditional wives.

One thing conversations like this remind me of--for the sake of readers who are considering their life choices-- is that sex is to be had in the context of marriage. Sex is how kids get here. And kids being raised without fathers in the home isn't best for them. I can understand why going to new and different women might be appealing. But as a married man with a good marriage, my sex life probably beats the sex life of most men who do that. I've been married over 15 years, and I've probably had sex a couple of thousand times with my wife, especially if you count sexual activities in a broader sense. Measured that way, I probably broke the 500 times mark in the second year of marriage. I don't have to worry about a husband or boyfriend coming home and fighting with me, guilt, kids tracking me down and telling me I am their daddy after 20 years, or STDs. I've got someone to share my life with an help raise my kids, and we take care of each other. Her cooking is amazing. It's just a good deal all around for a man in a good marriage.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby MrMan » Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:05 am

This thread reminds me of this church service I went to. There was a father and son who both spoke that Sunday and shared their testimony. Both were preachers. The father, before he was a Christian, had divorced and remarried and had just had little or nothing to do with his child from his first marriage. Years later, after he became a Christian, he reached out to his young adult son, who also became a Christian. The father became a preacher, and the son was a youth pastor.

The son, in his early 20's and married with little kids, told of his own background. At one point during his testimony, he talked about how as a child he thought he wasn't worth much because his own father didn't want to have anything to do with him. His father was on the stage next to him, and I could tell the man was really holding in the tears. That was really hard for him to hear, I'm sure. His son hadn't said it in spite towards his dad. They had a good relationship that had healed after his father's mistakes.

But just imagine if you have a child you don't raise, and then you get older and wiser and it hits you how bad what you did was, and you can't get those years back and spend them with your children.

Time with your children is precious. If you men don't spend time with your children, there are things they just may not get in their childhood because they need their dads to teach them.

I know some divorced dads do their best, but dad being removed from the home makes it hard for fathers to offer firm boundaries for the kids, which makes it harder for them to learn empathy and other aspects that good, reasonable discipline offers the kids. The dad ends up taking them to play, doing fun stuff and being the 'good guy' without offering the boundaries and discipline to the extent he could if the family were intact. So it's a good idea for men to be selective in finding wives with good, noble character who value marriage, and not to do anything to blow up their own marriages. It's also important not to have sex outside of marriage or to donate to sperm banks, things that produce children without their dads in their lives.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby smallcheese » Fri Apr 03, 2015 2:38 am

Winston wrote:Why should I go live in the Philippines again if I don't want to? Why should I stay with a girl I have no love or attraction for? WTF are you smoking?!

MarcosZeitola wrote:You don't have to stay with Dianne. For all I care you get a house across the street, and you have Angelo live with you a few times a week, or in weekends. Or you visit every couple of days. That would be enough. You can see as many cheap whores as you want on the side to keep your hedonistic desires satisfied, and you can even convince your Chinese lady to come with you for all I care. I never said you had to live with Dianne. Just that you cannot just abandon your son and expect people here to still think you're a good person.

Winston wrote:Also you're not offering me anything Marcos. Me going back to be a father and living in the Philippines, brings nothing for me. I'm into Chinese women now. So that's my goal and objective. Why is that over your head? You seem so narrow and you don't LISTEN to anything I say! You're essentially asking me to FORCE myself to do something I don't want to do. Is that wise or even possible? THINK man!


Given Winston's past history, his current thinking and his replies on this thread alone, I think the best solution for all parties involved (Winston, Dianne, Angelo) is for Winston to provide financial support for his son until he graduates from college and Winston agrees to never see or speak to his son again. I know Marcos, you and others might disagree with me, but think about it. What kind of a role model would Winston be as a father???

Can you imagine in the near future a father-son conversation like this? I can. :D :D :D

Winston (in his 50s now): "Hey dude, let's go down to Fields Avenue tonight, drink some beers and hook up with some bar girls. I'm feeling horny and I need to satisfy my wanton lust and sexual needs."
Angelo: "I don't know Dad. I think bar girls are just playing with you to get your money."
Winston: "Nah, you're wrong! They genuinely like me for who I am. Look at these pictures and let me explain....."

Later, after 2 hours of non-stop whining and pontification
Angelo: "Hmmm, still not sure Dad. And besides, what about Mom?"
Winston: "F****k her!! I haven't done that since you were a toddler and I'm not about to start now. I need someone I'm sexually attracted to!! WTF is wrong with you?? Don't you get it son?"

I think Angelo would be much better off if he had a better role model as a father. I'm sure Dianne is teaching him how not to be like his biological father. Maybe Dianne has someone in her family who would serve as a good role model. Or maybe once Dianne realizes that Winston will never come back to her, she will finally move on with her life and find the good man that she deserves.

MarcosZeitola wrote:Mark my words, this is a promise to you: you may get married but it will not last.


+100 I'm not even sure Winston will find a woman in China to marry him. But who knows? It's a big country.

Winston wrote:One more thing. I'm getting old now and I need to get married ASAP. My China trip is three years later because God kept blocking me since 2012 which f***ing PISSES ME OFF like you won't believe! f**k man! Every day I look up and curse the heavens because of it! I'm not even living in 2015 in fact. I am still living in 2012 because my life and my time did not move on from there cause an invisible hand thwarted my plans. Do you know how pathetic that is?!

Winston wrote:Anyhow, I already realized that I'm not suited or meant to marry a Filipina. Best to marry a Chinese. So I am in a rush to get married now.


"I'm getting old now and I need to get married ASAP." "So I am in a rush to get married now." Hmmm, seems to me that Winston is in some sort of mid-life crisis. I'm not sure he realizes what being married really entails. This rush to action has gotten Winston in trouble before.

Based on what I've read here on this forum, one of the reasons why Winston impregnated Dianne was because he thought he was running out of time to have a child. So he thought to himself, why not get Dianne pregnant? That kind of thinking, without serious contemplating the future and the consequences of his actions on Dianne, his child or himself, is what got Winston in this mess to begin with. And now he's in a rush to get married?

Are there any women reading this thread? I am curious to know what any of you think about all of this. Let's pretend the original poster is not Winston Wu but someone named WW. If you read WW's original post and all of the subsequent replies, do you think you could marry a man like WW? Would you want WW as the father of your future children? A simple Yes or No answer would suffice.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby smallcheese » Fri Apr 03, 2015 9:40 am

I found this on a thread from 7 years ago: viewtopic.php?t=4044

It was advice that Winston's father gave to him regarding Winston's dilemma with what to do with Dianne. Words of wisdom that still applies today.
Winston wrote:Here's my dad's response:

"I don't know what to tell you. The bottom line is you are not ready for a serious commitment yet. If you knew yourself better, you should not have unprotected sex and have Dianne pregnant. Then you can have all the fantasy and fun time as you want. But, you can have this kind of life style for some period of time. Up to some point, you have to come back to the real world, taking some responsibility, plan your future, and settle down to a real world. Life is not all about fun. You have responsibility to your own life, life of the people who love you and life of those people you love.

Whatever you do, think about Angelo too. He is innocent. You brought him to this world. You have to give him a good home to grow up, not just provide him with food.

If you want my suggestion, move away from there, to other country. You should not feel regret about not having all the hot girls in that town. You have already had good time with so many girls in Philippines, in Russia. Other people just have one for whole life and live a happy life with no regret. Look around the other human being in the world, now and pass. People feel happy not because how many hot girls they have sex with. They are happy because they feel free from worrying. They are happy because their love ones are happy too.

Good luck, love,
Dad


So how did the apple fall so very very far from the tree?
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:57 pm

MarcosZeitola,
You still have not answered my questions and points in the post below. Did you forget?

"MarcosZeitola,
You are making a big logic fallacy in assuming that I'm like you. I'm not. Your whole post was based on that false assumption. The truth is, I simply don't care about raising kids. I mean I do a little, but it's not a big priority to me. And no, it's not something I'll regret. In my old age, I will regret not loving enough women or not loving better women or not going to better countries where I might have gotten better romance and love, etc. That's what I regret now in fact. So no, I'm not like you. My regrets are different than yours too. In old age, we will all regret many things, not just being a father. That's how life is. Even now, I can think of hundreds of things I regret. So your warning doesn't make any sense.

And yes, I am like a Buddha, in that I'm trying to wake up and enlighten people to get out of the US matrix. Duh. Didn't you know that? Have you been to the US? Go to any US city or suburb and you will see depressed men everywhere with hopeless faces, like they have nothing to live for. Don't you want to help those men? That's my calling. So yes, I am similar to Buddha in that I'm trying to wake people up, not just to life outside the US Matrix, but to exposing materialism and liberalism and bullshit lies as well.

Karmic retribution does not always happen. America has been doing bad things to Indians since the 1600's. So it wronged them for 300 years. That's a long time. Yet in spite of 300 years of wrongdoings toward the Indians and others, America went on to become the richest and most powerful nation in the world by the end of the 19th Century and now is the leader of the world in power, technology and influence. So no, sorry, no karmic retribution there. Your theory of "delayed karmic retribution" is just a copout. Sorry but the universe isn't fair or just. Your morality may be just an illusion for the masses.

I'm just trying to make you think outside the box because you are thinking in absolutes.

My son may want me around, but he doesn't obey my commands and he won't allow me to take him to school. So much for respect. He watches trashy TV shows and has no taste either.

You also seem to be under the fallacy that a son's life is ALWAYS more important and worth more than his father's. That makes no sense. Look at the greatest men in history. In every case, their children did NOT go on to do the same great things or even unique things, that their fathers did. You can say this about any great man in history, such as Benjamin Franklin for example. Or Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Buddha, etc. Most of them had sons who became ordinary men.

So no, it is not true that the son's life is always worth more than the father's. Think about it. You seem to believe everything society tells you."
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:09 pm

MarcosZeitola,
You keep repeating the same useless drivel. You are also demonstrating that you are not wise but overly opinionated. This is why I did not want to make you moderator before. You have too many biases and are too opinionated to be an impartial objective judge. Thus you would not make a good moderator. It turns out I was right.

You are also not wise. A wise person does not repeat the same irrelevant drivel and expect to get different results. Or use ad hominem attacks on someone whom you are supposed to be trying to help. You don't accept me for what I am and what I want, so you keep trying to change me, and you assume that I can be like you. All of this is false. A wise rational person would see this, but you are not.

A wise person would also not expect a father to stay if he doesn't want to stay. Even Western wisdom considers that to be a bad idea and an unrealistic one.

Bottom line is that you are NOT helping me achieve my goals and objectives in any way. You are not even addressing the topic of this thread, which is what to do about the relationship with Dianne. The topic of this thread is not about Angelo. You are so opinionated that you don't see that and you can't even stay on topic.

If this were a company and you worked for me, you'd be FIRED for not doing your job of helping the company reach its goals.

You are not on my side. Why do you even care so much about a child you don't know and have nothing to do with? There are millions of children in this world you could care about. Why are you so fixated on my son? Are you weird? You are not logical at all. Why don't you go out and feed a random kid on the street if you care so much about all kids?

This is not a just world. And God is not just. You thinking that God is just makes you delusional. All evidence contradicts that. I gave many examples already.

What do you expect me to do? Quit my China trip now and go back to Philippines? You didn't even suggest something like "Go back to Philippines after spending a few months in China" or "Go to China for 1 or 2 months at a time, then visit your son for 1 or 2 months at a time" or something more reasonable like that which would involve a compromise. Why not? Is it because you are not a reasonable man? lol

Lots of people have been telling me to go to China for years. Why should I listen to you and disappoint everyone here? You do not have any credibility in my eyes. You are not a close friend. Why should I give your opinions any weight? You are just a dude, one of many out there. Your opinion is like just another a-hole, everyone has one.

What do you propose I do about my dating life and love life? Go back to Philippines and limit my dating life to Filipinas? Why?

Smallcheese,
WTF man? I thought you were on my side and trying to help me in China. Now you are blasting me in this thread? What do you suggest I do? Quit China and go back to Philippines against my will? You seem to be double faced here.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:20 pm

MarcosZeitola, one more thing. You misunderstood me when you said this:

MarcosZeitola wrote:So what? You aren't going back because to take care of your only child because you are afraid your friends might not understand? What sort of spineless p***y behavior is that? If I am guilt tripping you, though, that means you at least are aware that what you are doing is immoral, and you are capable of feeling guilty over it. That means you aren't a sociopath, which is a good thing.


I did not say you were guilt tripping me or causing me to feel any guilt. I said I do NOT like your attempt to MANIPULATE me by trying to guilt trip me. I hate manipulation tactics, and I do not appreciate your attempt at it. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.

I am not a sociopath. I do have feelings and a moral conscience. I do not steal, lie or murder, for example. But I do not love children equal to myself or greater than myself. My heart and emotions are big on romantic love only. Not on fatherly love or nurturing love. I am not a nurturer type. Male lions and males of most animal species are not either. That's just the truth. Sorry if you don't like it. But I'm just being honest. Why should I lie to you and tell you that I love children equal to myself or more than myself? I don't like to lie.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:27 pm

Winston wrote:I did not say you were guilt tripping me or causing me to feel any guilt. I said I do NOT like your attempt to MANIPULATE me by trying to guilt trip me. I hate manipulation tactics, and I do not appreciate your attempt at it. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.


You are entitled to your opinion, true. And I am entitled to mine. I have said everything I wanted to say, you have ignored a lot of my questions. Questions like:

-Do you think you really are marriage material, given your track record with women? And if so, what makes you think that? With Dianne you soon began to miss your freedom in chasing\banging other women; with a new lady, you will too. Have you ever given serious thought to the idea you may not be the marrying type?
-If you, by some miracle, marry a Chinese woman, will you have a child by her too? Will you love the child more then your firstborn, or equally?
-And a very simple but important one: do you love Angelo and do you want him to be happy?

Winston wrote:I am not a sociopath. I do have feelings and a moral conscience. I do not steal, lie or murder, for example. But I do not love children equal to myself or greater than myself.


Then you are not much of a man at all, Winston, and undeserving of the frequent comparisons to Buddha and Lions. A father will always put his children first, or else he does not deserve the title father.

Winston wrote:My heart and emotions are big on romantic love only. Not on fatherly love or nurturing love. I am not a nurturer type. Male lions and males of most animal species are not either. That's just the truth.


You are not an animal, and if you were one a lion is probably the one you're least like... a lion is a prideful, strong and powerful animal. A warrior, a fighter. If anything you're a bonobo, Winston, thinking only with your dick giving little thought to where you put it and what might be the consequences.

Winston wrote:I'm just being honest. Why should I lie to you and tell you that I love children equal to myself or more than myself? I don't like to lie.


Good for you on not lying. But all I hear when I read your post is you saying: "I am selfish, I don't care as much for others as I care for myself, and my own happiness is my first and foremost priority before all else". You have the right to be this way, you're not the only hedonist in this world, not at all. But don't try to defend your choices as moral, or reasonable. They are immoral, and so are you. Own up to it at least.

And look, man, I have no ill feelings towards you. I respect you a lot for setting up this site and promoting the theory of Happier Abroad. For that very fact, I will always admire you and wish you well. But that does not stop me from disagreeing with you on a few very fundamental issues. And a part of me still thinks that in forcing you to reconsider some of your life choices, if only just for you to think of the downsides a little harder. Not just for those around you, but for your own happiness too. Sometimes a mistake you made felt right in the moment, and you only recognize it as a mistake in hindsight. You are making a lot of mistakes, or potential mistakes, right now. It may not feel like it now, but one day it will.

Winston wrote:What do you expect me to do? Quit my China trip now and go back to Philippines? You didn't even suggest something like "Go back to Philippines after spending a few months in China" or "Go to China for 1 or 2 months at a time, then visit your son for 1 or 2 months at a time" or something more reasonable like that which would involve a compromise. Why not? Is it because you are not a reasonable man? lol


I admit I can be a little intense at times. A little all-or-nothing. If you can find a reasonable compromise such as the one you just suggested, then I would admire you for that and it would restore a lot of the respect I lost for you as a person. But it's not about what I feel, really. Or anyone else on this thread. A lot of guys here have said exactly the same I said, and agreed with what I said. No one on this thread has said that your decision was reasonable, just, moral or good. But as Smallcheese said: you make your own choices, you make your own mistakes, and none of us can live your life for you or make your choices for you.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:39 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Winston wrote:I did not say you were guilt tripping me or causing me to feel any guilt. I said I do NOT like your attempt to MANIPULATE me by trying to guilt trip me. I hate manipulation tactics, and I do not appreciate your attempt at it. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.


You are entitled to your opinion, true. And I am entitled to mine. I have said everything I wanted to say, you have ignored a lot of my questions. Questions like:

-Do you think you really are marriage material, given your track record with women? And if so, what makes you think that? With Dianne you soon began to miss your freedom in chasing\banging other women; with a new lady, you will too. Have you ever given serious thought to the idea you may not be the marrying type?
-If you, by some miracle, marry a Chinese woman, will you have a child by her too? Will you love the child more then your firstborn, or equally?
-And a very simple but important one: do you love Angelo and do you want him to be happy?

Winston wrote:I am not a sociopath. I do have feelings and a moral conscience. I do not steal, lie or murder, for example. But I do not love children equal to myself or greater than myself.


Then you are not much of a man at all, Winston, and undeserving of the frequent comparisons to Buddha and Lions. A father will always put his children first, or else he does not deserve the title father.

Winston wrote:My heart and emotions are big on romantic love only. Not on fatherly love or nurturing love. I am not a nurturer type. Male lions and males of most animal species are not either. That's just the truth.


You are not an animal, and if you were one a lion is probably the one you're least like... a lion is a prideful, strong and powerful animal. A warrior, a fighter. If anything you're a bonobo, Winston, thinking only with your dick giving little thought to where you put it and what might be the consequences.

Winston wrote:I'm just being honest. Why should I lie to you and tell you that I love children equal to myself or more than myself? I don't like to lie.


Good for you on not lying. But all I hear when I read your post is you saying: "I am selfish, I don't care as much for others as I care for myself, and my own happiness is my first and foremost priority before all else". You have the right to be this way, you're not the only hedonist in this world, not at all. But don't try to defend your choices as moral, or reasonable. They are immoral, and so are you. Own up to it at least.

And look, man, I have no ill feelings towards you. I respect you a lot for setting up this site and promoting the theory of Happier Abroad. For that very fact, I will always admire you and wish you well. But that does not stop me from disagreeing with you on a few very fundamental issues. And a part of me still thinks that in forcing you to reconsider some of your life choices, if only just for you to think of the downsides a little harder. Not just for those around you, but for your own happiness too. Sometimes a mistake you made felt right in the moment, and you only recognize it as a mistake in hindsight. You are making a lot of mistakes, or potential mistakes, right now. It may not feel like it now, but one day it will.

Winston wrote:What do you expect me to do? Quit my China trip now and go back to Philippines? You didn't even suggest something like "Go back to Philippines after spending a few months in China" or "Go to China for 1 or 2 months at a time, then visit your son for 1 or 2 months at a time" or something more reasonable like that which would involve a compromise. Why not? Is it because you are not a reasonable man? lol


I admit I can be a little intense at times. A little all-or-nothing. If you can find a reasonable compromise such as the one you just suggested, then I would admire you for that and it would restore a lot of the respect I lost for you as a person. But it's not about what I feel, really. Or anyone else on this thread. A lot of guys here have said exactly the same I said, and agreed with what I said. No one on this thread has said that your decision was reasonable, just, moral or good. But as Smallcheese said: you make your own choices, you make your own mistakes, and none of us can live your life for you or make your choices for you.


To answer your questions:

I don't know if I'm marriage material. I do have the desire to be married. But even if I'm not marriage material or the marrying type, how do you expect me to ease my constant pain of loneliness, sexlessness and lack of romance and being in love? I live for being in love. That's what I want and need the most. Everyday I see couples in love out in public. It makes me sad, lonely, jealous, and asking "Why can't that be me?" What do you expect me to do about that? Can you consider Winston's needs for once? Or are you a selfish bastard with a one track mind?

Have you considered that maybe if I found the right person, that I would become marriage material? Some would say that. Why haven't you considered that? The thing is, I never find the right person because I'm unlucky in love. Some people are lucky in some areas but not others. That's how life is. Murphy's Law tends to make it so that, if you want something, it goes away from you. That's why the typical single's dilemma is "The ones I love do not love me back, and the ones that love me are the ones I do not love." If I was lucky in love, and the one I loved also loved me back, then who's to say if I would be monogamous? I can't say because I'm never that lucky. Murphy's Law won't allow it. So we don't know.

Many couples in China are choosing not to have children. If I get married or find a girlfriend, we will talk it over. Another option than getting married is to just find a girlfriend. Many people have girlfriends that they are happily in love with, so why can't I? Why is the universe so cruel to me when it comes to love?

Sure I love Angelo, but in an abstract way. Sure I want him to be happy, just like I want everyone to be happy here too. But I do not love him equal to myself or greater than myself. I'm not the nurturing self-sacrificing type. Sorry. And I cannot change what I am just to satisfy you.

You need to read these excerpts about the Unselfishness Trap from the book "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World":

viewtopic.php?f=32&t=12685

Your claim that I am not much of a man at all is very subjective and your opinion only. Sorry. It is not a fact. It's ok if you don't want to give me the title of "father". I never asked for such a title. You are using petty ad hominem attacks on me that are emotionally biased.

I already explained why comparing me to Buddha is valid. See above. Why aren't you criticizing Buddha for abandoning his child and wife? Are you a hypocrite? You seem to filter data with cognitive dissonance.

If you don't think I'm a warrior or a fighter, then try fighting me. Let's put on armor and carry shields and swords and you'll see if I'm a warrior or not. I am an old soul and have been in many battles in my past lives. I've fought for Rome and England in the ancient and medieval world. So I still have remnants of fighting for glory and honor. While fighting you, I will proudly and passionately yell "For the glory of Rome!" or "For the glory of England!" You don't know me dude.

I'm not claiming that I am moral or immoral. I am just being honest and being true to myself. I do what I need.

Sure hindsight is 20/20. But who's to say that I followed your advice, I'd regret it too? No one can predict the future. And you have many false assumptions, such as the one that assumes that if I become a stable father who lives for my son and not for my own needs and wants, that I'd eventually be happy about it. What if you're wrong? I am sure you are. But you will not accept that because you stubbornly believe that deep down I am a nurturer who will be happy to put others needs before my own. You don't know me better than I do. I know myself better than you, so I am in a better position to judge what I will regret and what I will not. Do you understand that?

A lot of guys here are not attacking me because they agree with you. They are doing it because they see this as an achilles heel on which to attack me. Internet people are unhappy, and unhappy people like to exploit weaknesses and slam others and bring them down.

Why don't you ask my closest friends such as Rock if I should quit my trip to China just to be with Angelo? They do not comment here because they do not wish to appear like they are supporting something immoral. But they have not urged me to quit my trip to China just to go be a father. Haven't you seen all the threads urging me to go to China by Celery and Smallcheese? There's one called "Winston, you must promise you'll make it to China by 2015".

Besides, I am doing something I was supposed to in 2012, not now. In 2012 I was stuck in Taiwan and not being a father to Angelo too. How did that help me or him? It didn't. So why did God do that? It's totally pointless.

Yes you should have suggested a compromise, such as "Spend 2 months in China looking for a girlfriend and traveling, and then another 2 months with Angelo", etc. Your all or nothing mentality is not good or wise or considerate. I was right not to make you a moderator, because you are too biased and emotional and not impartial, as you admit. So I do have good judgment in some things.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Mr S » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:43 pm

Look, this forum question has gone off topic big time and the initial question Winston has asked has hardly been addressed. I agree with Winston that most of the people initially responding misinterpreted the posting and thought he wanted sex and she wasn't giving it rather than him losing his lust and interest in her. There was nothing wrong with the way he wrote it; the problem is the decreasing reading comprehension of English readers, especially the younger generations. I work in the education field and have two MA degrees and have seen the slow deterioration of reading comprehension over the 10+ years I've been in education, each year it gets worse. So I'm just upholding that Winston's observation is correct and his writing is not the problem.

Now moving on, I'm in a very similar situation to Winston, except that I chose to remain in the Philippines and raise my daughter personally rather than just send money or totally forget about her and move on with my life. I’m an either all in or all out kind of person. Now the reason for this is not necessarily that I am morally superior to another man that chose not to do something like that, but I had to weigh a number of varying factors from my own experiences growing up combined with the competency of whether I felt her mother could raise her somewhat decently without my child turning into a typical average idiotic behaving sheeple Filipino with their inferior mindset to boot. Going into details about all this would take too long and this post is not about me but Winston's dilemma. Just realize that this was not an easy decision for me and I didn't have to do it, but I felt in the short run it might be tough or hell (and it was) but in the long run the sacrifice I made would pan out in a positive fashion.

Yes, there is no guarantee that any child will become a decent adult and have a positive connection with their parents, as one can see in many children in the media that supposedly have it all, but being a father and attempting to guide them through life as best as possible does provide a higher percentage of raising a successful child into a successful adult. I don’t have sex with my daughters mother and haven’t since she was conceived. I had a couple chances to get with superior Filipinas who I probably would have had a great relationship or marriage with if I had pursued them rather than choose to raise my daughter. However, I wouldn’t have been totally fulfilled knowing my daughter was being raised by someone not fully up to the task of raising a child by themselves or with another man that could be a worse father figure. So now at the moment I have no loving female partner but I have a really awesome daughter who thinks the world of me and has a Western type mindset and personality rather than a true Filipino or Easterner (Which I honestly prefer and doesn’t mean radical feminism traits and other negative aspects). Many people have one or the other or both, the wife and kids hate the father, it’s all a crapshoot in the game of life. As much as my loins say I want to find a better-suited mate and pro-create with her, I resist the urge, especially knowing what being a proper parent entails. One has to be very lucky finding an ideal mother to raise children properly, it doesn’t matter how well you think you know them, one realizes after the baby is born and starts growing up. Usually this is one major factor in divorces; one parent usually sucks at raising kids and puts strain on the marriage. Instead of lusting over women and sex I put my efforts into fixing the deficiencies I perceive having, this way in the future when I am ready again to seriously date and maybe consider marriage I am a better example of the person I always wanted to be, rather than hoping another person or thing will somehow make me happy in life. I also believe this will attract higher quality women in the future as well, if I choose to partake of them that is. I’m actually on the fence whether women are really worth being with or not. Anyways, one needs to fully invest in themself first and seriously look at themself in the mirror and decide what they feel they actually can improve upon themselves to make someone actually care and love themself enough to give that love to another person such as a wife or a child. Even if I was free of parenting I would still feel I need to ‘fix or modify’ my personal deficiencies before finding an ideal life mate, if that’s even possible. This is my goal as I raise my daughter, both are a slow process but with time and proper direction and motivation both goals can achieve success.

Now onto the topic of Winston again; I've been in contact with Winston for over 10+ years now; we have similar interests and some personality characteristics that enable us to maintain a casual friendship. I actually don't have this with most other 'friends' I've known from the past. I've bonded with 'friends' closer in the past, but as time has moved on they have had changed and become interested in other facets of their life rather than maintaining friendships, so you can take that any way you want but Winston does maintain connections with individuals he feels he can trust or has a connection with.

Do I agree with Winston's moralities? No, not in their entirety. However, I feel that most people judge others based on their own morals or actions given a similar situation or how society or culture would dictate actions. This is something I think whether we like it or not, we have to drop in order to understand others and get to the root of issues they seem to have and need addressed to help them move on in their life from current roadblocks impeding their growth and development as a human being. Most posters here are pushing Winston into a corner and all he can do is lash out and defend himself without actually adequately addressing and furthering comments to questions he has brought up. The criticism given to him is based on others moralities rather than constructive criticism based on Winston’s personality, disposition and current predicaments in life.

Gents, I used to want to impose my supposedly superior morality on others at one time or another in the past and if you were to search old posts from years back, this entire thread topic has been discussed numerous times in the past with similar posters all saying the same things as you guys are relating to Winston, Diane, and Angelo. If you want to argue about morality and the right thing to do you should resurrect those topics and bash Winston there rather than with this particular topic question. I’ve also said the same things to Winston as you guys have said in previous topics. Don’t you guys get it that Winston has a set and stationary personality type? He is a strong-willed independent free thinker who doesn’t just change his demeanor or actions in life because members on his forum feel he is a poor example of morals or what is socially acceptable. We are all on this forum because we have independent thinking streaks in all of us and this sometimes gets us thinking our logic and thought process is so powerful that we can convince anyone else to think and act in our ways and they will automatically see our moral superiority and thus change their ways and act according to how we would want to perceive them.

Winston needs to evolve in his own way through life and have experiences that are in alignment with his inner being. These will match most likely none of us and only be relatable to a very few. What we feel are mistakes in his life are really none of our concern and we shouldn’t be exerting energy trying to justify our positions as to why he has made various mistakes and poor choices in life and whatnot. He will come to a realization in his own time regarding the actions he has chosen to take in life and they will reap their rewards and sorrows, as all of life tends to do for each human individual. Trying to prevent this from happening is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

When Winston asks for advice we should be addressing his concern directly rather then creating hypothetical and theoretical discussions based on criticisms of his personal character or actions. Yes, it makes interesting gossip reading but in the end it doesn’t really contribute much to the discussion other than getting Winston all worked up and then him ignoring your comments or replying irrationally with whacked-out emotionally laced come-back diatribes that then have him remembering you in a negative fashion in the future. I don’t participate much in this forum any more cause most people can’t stay on topic and they go off on tangents unrelated to the initial discussion, while also dealing with half the comments in many posts attacking the initial poster or other posters as well.

Now in regards to finally getting to the point of all this, the discussion of what Winston should do with Diane…

This is what I would do being put into Winston’s body/mind and knowing his character, rather than what I would do which is irrelevant advice to give in the first place. Winston needs to talk to her either face to face or over the phone regarding his true feelings towards Diane and his child. Filipinos are not good readers and misinterpret things easily or don’t take words as seriously written as when given personally in a verbal exchange. He has to be adamant that there is absolutely NO future between them and that he will be finding another women to possibly marry in the upcoming future. This will interfere with him being able to visit regularly or maintain a relationship as they had in the past.

Thus, Winston needs to make it clear it’s in Diane’s best interest to find another male to be with while she is still young. If she cannot do that or refuses to do so, Winston must be totally clear that she cannot rely on him to be there for her in the future. He will send a certain amount of money for Angelo but in regards to anything more than that she needs to make an independent effort to improve her current situation in life, on her own, without Winston’s involvement. I do not know if she has finished high school or not but since she does not seem to be the academic type I assume her educational desires are somewhat limited.

If possible I’d force her to consider being trained in a skill that will enable her to be independent and make her own money, as Winston WILL make it clear that he cannot support her forever and her age will become detrimental each year to her. He can give the used car analogy that women are like used cars and depreciate in value. They need to find an owner when they are young rather then old and worn out, as women do not hold their value over time like men do.

The Philippines will train women in their TESDA program for very small fees and this is probably the best option for Diane to pursue. I’d suggest very strongly you make her learn a job skill or you’ll never get rid of her.

Check the website info here: http://www.tesda.gov.ph/About/TESDA/115

I suggest if you can ever get Dianne to understand that you will NEVER commit to her and your son, that she pursue getting some kind of life skill then find ANOTHER man to be in her life.

You give an ultimatum, either she does this or after a certain time you will cut off all contact with her. If she shows initiative and pursues being independent from Winston, then Winston can still support her until she can sufficiently take care of herself. She will never let go of you Winston until she knows you are serious about totally cutting her off if she doesn’t get her act together. Since she makes poor decisions as most Filipinos do, you will have to micromanage her until she completes these tasks.

All you guys saying Winston should move to the Philippines and suck it up to be with his kid wouldn’t help a bit. He has already said he doesn’t care to be a parent and would suck at it. He would just make things worse for the kid if he were forced to be around him. Whether we agree with this or not, this is fact that Winston would just make things worse for everyone around him and himself if he was forced to go this route. It wouldn’t benefit anyone. Just being physically present around your kid doesn’t mean it will actually make Winston a better father figure or help Angelo. Its better Winston just does his own thing and reaps what he sows in life, whether it is positive or negative on him and those around him.

Just to reiterate I don’t condone necessarily what Winston is doing but it’s his OWN life path to take and we don’t have any right to distract him onto other paths that aren’t in alignment with his true self and nature. He will learn the lessons he needs to learn in life in his own way and they will manifest their own karma for him to deal with in later parts of his life and future lives as well. Everything will be balanced in its own right in the period the divine wills it to occur.

Also, commenting on whether Winston would be successful in a marriage is a mute point and has little to do with this forum topic question. Yes, we all have our own opinions about this and can surmise and hypothesize what may or may not happen if this were to occur but it’s a learning experience for him and if he can make it succeed it will ultimately probably make him a better person in the end. If it doesn’t it will be a good experience for him to have had and to take that experience with him into future relationships with women.

Just remember everyone, Winston is NOT going to change by just your suggestions, NEVER. Just continue riding the rollercoaster that is his life and enjoy the ride before it ends. If any of us actually did ever get him to change his ways then this site wouldn’t continue existing and would be much less entertaining to read! Am I right or what? :lol:
Last edited by Mr S on Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby ethan_sg » Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:49 pm

Mark Zeitola,

I think you've had your say and you've said enough...your recent posts are fast becoming like a long-winded nagging self-righteous rant which can be quite a bore and chore for all of us to read.

In defense of Winston, I would say his current situation is comparable to one where for instance, he got married to Dianne, had a kid, but then he and Dianne fell out of love, the marriage failed, and they got divorced. As is typically the case with divorce courts all over the world, the mum gets custody of the child, and the husband has to provide child support, while occasionally being able to visit the child - this is pretty much what Winston is doing.

However does getting 'divorced' or separated mean that the father, in this case Winston, has to forever give up all pursuits of romantic love, of finding a more suitable lifelong companion that Winston can be with till he is old? Society and its legal codes do not place such an unfair burden on a divorced spouse, and rightfully so.

At least Winston is providing child support to his son for which unlike in an actual divorce, he is under no legal obligation to do so. Winston has also regularly visited Angelo and Dianne over the last few years - he has indeed spent a substantial amount of time in the Philippines. But as Winston has rightfully said, he is reaching a stage in his life where it really is time to find the right lifelong partner - and currently he is in China focused on that, perhaps once he does find the right one he can spend a little more time paying regular visits to Angelo, like a divorced husband without child custody would be entitled to do so.

Yes Winston didn't actually get married to Dianne. But from what we know, their relationship is now a loveless, sexless one - forcing them to stay together in the same home for the rest of their lives so as to bring up Angelo together is tantamount to forcing a divorced couple to live together to bring up the kid. How feasible or desirable is that from both the perspective of the kid and the parents? Will this really allow the kid to grow up in a nurturing environment or would it be one of constant tension, arguments, lack of peace at home etc.?

I think it's also unfair to assume that Winston is incapable of a long term monogamous relationship. Some people such as yourself are lucky enough to find the right one early in life, but others are not as fortunate and suffer from a lack of serendipity or plain good luck. It takes them a bit more effort and time to find the right one. What's wrong with that? In this day and age that is common.

For instance in Japan, there is still a very high proportion of males at Winston's age who are not yet married - simply because he is not yet married doesn't necessarily imply he is incapable of a fulfilling long term monogamous relationship with the right girl. Perhaps he just hasn't met the right one yet.

Indeed being in the same city as Winston now (Shenzhen) I can see that he is indeed working very hard to find the right girl. He and I agree that Chinese women are more suitable long term relationship material than Filipinos, both in terms of overall intellectual and emotional sophistication and maturity. Plus Chinese women are on the whole more physically attractive as well - come here and see it for yourself.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby smallcheese » Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:34 pm

Winston wrote:Smallcheese,
WTF man? I thought you were on my side and trying to help me in China. Now you are blasting me in this thread? What do you suggest I do? Quit China and go back to Philippines against my will? You seem to be double faced here.


You see, this is exactly why I don't believe you have changed at all and why I think that even if you get married with a Chinese woman, your marriage will ultimately fail. You react impulsively and lash out at anyone who disagrees with you. Not the sign of a mature person who is ready for the commitment that marriage demands.

Look at what you posted originally and you'll see that I proposed 4 solutions to your question on what to do. One of the proposed solutions was to marry Dianne and raise your son together. I never said that's what you should do. I only offered it as a proposed solution for you to contemplate. Then after learning more, I narrowed it down to 2 solutions. Then after more replies from you where it was obvious what you wanted to do and you were adamant about it, it was clear to me what the best solution for all parties would be:

"Given Winston's past history, his current thinking and his replies on this thread alone, I think the best solution for all parties involved (Winston, Dianne, Angelo) is for Winston to provide financial support for his son until he graduates from college and Winston agrees to never see or speak to his son again."

Obviously, you never read any of my proposed solutions to your original posting or subsequent replies where I narrowed the choices down.

I never suggested that you quit China and go back to the Philippines against your will. Show me in this thread where I said that!!! You can't. You are wrong but your pride and ego will NEVER admit that. This is one of your fatal character flaws and where you ultimately fail.

Why do you ask for opinions from people on this forum on what to do and then you jump down their throats, yelling and screaming at them if they propose something that you disagree with???

Winston, I hope that you are successful in finding a woman to marry in China. I even wished you good luck in that endeavor. But based on how you reacted emotionally on this thread and your documented history over the last 8+ years, I seriously question whether or not any marriage you might have, will succeed in the end.
smallcheese
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby chanta76 » Sun Apr 05, 2015 5:33 pm

I don't get why this is soo complicated. Winston is not happy with Dianne so don't be together. Just make sure you take care of the kid. Send money to the kid and spend time if you can. If you want to have full custody of the kid can you do it on your own?

I don't think Winston is one woman man....he is more of monger at heart. Kind of like Will-n-Dodd or MR.bluelight or these other sexpats. One woman is not enough and never enough. But what happens is you got a girl pregnant. So you do have to take some responsibility.
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