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My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby MarcosZeitola » Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:02 pm

Mr. Q wrote:
Winston wrote:
Because I'm TRYING to find a serious relationship and settle down in China. Duh. That's been explained. Yeah I may not be the marrying type. But I'm TRYING to be. Maybe if I find the right one, then... well isn't that what we all tell ourselves?


Winston,

If you're not sure whether you're the marrying type or not, you will definitely have a problem finding a serious relationship and settling down. And don't think that finding "the right one" will do the trick. Your problem isn't that you haven't found the right one. Your problem is that you've led a lifestyle up till now that not only runs totally contrary to married life, it is also not easy to give up without an almost revolutionary change in your thinking.


Winston wrote:In my conscious mind, I'm trying to find a wife. But who knows if my subconscious mind will cooperate? That is uncertain. We cannot control our subconscious mind so easily.


It's really very simple. Do you want to get married or not? If you're conflicted, then you better put any marriage plans on hold.

Winston wrote:I can give Chinese women what they want. I can bring them to America and put them in a house. Or I can stay with them in China and rent an apartment together while we both work. Many couples in China do just that. It's normal. So why can't I?


Remember: you're both going to live with each other, everyday until death do you part. If you can put up with her (and possibly children) and the duties and responsibilities that go along with it, then go for it.


Winston wrote:I do not tell any of the women in China that I'm looking for casual dating or sex. Duh. How stupid do you think I am? When they ask me serious questions, I respond very tactfully and smoothly, like Bill Clinton does. If asked "Do you want to marry?" I'll answer, "If I find the right person. Yeah." Isn't that what I'm supposed to say?


Well, yes, but then are your responses as serious as their questions?

Before you even start looking for women to marry, you should ask yourself: are you prepared and willing to go through with marriage and all that it entails? If you are, then you won't have to worry about how you'll respond.


Those are some good points you are making. Winston really has some things he needs to be thinking of, and one of the most important questions he has to ask himself is: what does he want, and what sort of a woman is most compatible with him? I asked him this on another thread and I think it's also relevent here.

Per: viewtopic.php?f=37&t=26553&p=222927#p222927

Winston,

I think there are a few things for you to consider here. First of all, you are not tall and slender and considered handsome which is why getting casual sex with a Chinese girl is a whole lot more difficult to attain for you then it is for him. There's also your age and your height. Neither are dramatic obstacles, but both can be a reason for a girl not to instantly want to tear your clothes of, lol. You have to consider your limitations, and that in a country like China, you are more limited then you are in another country such as in the Philippines. Casual sex and living la vida loca was something you could easily do in the Philippines. A new girl every night, you were like a kid in a candy store. That's not the life you can live in China. Think about that before you get married with a woman who will not be as easy-going as Dianne, and may take over control of your life.

You are a man driven by the desire for freedom, Winston. Everything you have done since you were a young man, indicates that this has always been your life goal. Freedom to do what you want, make love to who you want, do what you want. You have your income, you have your options, you have a family even. Above all, you have a girlfriend who is okay with your philandering ways and the casual and inconsistent nature of your relationship... do you have any idea how f***ing rare that is, man? Also, I don't know about you, but when I think "passion", the last thing that comes to my mind is Chinese girls. I'll think Latina, or Filipina, before I think Chinese, Japanese or Korean. And I know passion is of vital importance to you, in order to keep you interested in a girl and in the relationship.

Your entire China plan seems so illogical to me, and not in line with your character. You will never find a woman in China who allows you to live your polyamorous lifestyle the way you choose. Once you get married, and have another kid, you are pretty much guaranteed that your freedom ends there. Whereas the Philippines is a country where men maintaining mistresses are extremely common place among guys of all layers of society. In China, from what I heard, it's mostly the elites who maintain mistresses and even then, when discovered, it's always a huge scandal and a lot of drama involved - Filipino society is more casual, with mistress and bastard children often being the norm rather then the exception. They have the whole Filipino time thing, the casual lateness, the carefree attitude. In some ways, it's very much a third world country, and very poor, but it gives you advantages as a man with a first world income.

You mentioned family pressure... who cares about family pressure? If I did, I would have had a boring white wife now, and office job from 9 to 5, a Golden Retriever and ten years from now around 2.1 kids. But I decided that wasn't what I wanted, and that what I wanted was freedom, so I am trying hard to attain that abroad. We all have to find the country that is best for us, the atmosphere that is most fitting for us. Maybe for you, that really is China? But somehow I wonder if you are doing it more for yourself and your own desires, or for the wishes and expectations your parents might have. And if you aren't simply wasting your time on something that's just a phase. People have been trying to sell the idea of China being so perfectly suited to your needs for a long, long time in here. Maybe it just isn't what it's hyped to be, and the girls and you are simply too incompatible with one another.

For all these years you have been preaching about freedom and thinking out of the box. That is the principle on which you built HappierAbroad, Winston. And now, because of the pressure of your friends and family, and maybe even you deluding yourself with "my Chinese dna", you are about to crawl right back into that box you struggled to escape for so long. Why? Maybe what you really want and need has been just around the corner the whole time. :wink:
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Sun Apr 12, 2015 4:48 pm

chanta76 wrote:Winston,

So you want to hop back and forth between China and the Philippines? Can you afford that?


Sure why not? Anyone can. There are many cheap flights and deals on Cebu Pacific to China and Hong Kong. And I have income from this site and rental income too. So why not? No problem. The only problem is whether I have the energy to move around so much. Going to the airport and dealing with immigration is a hassle and stress.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby chanta76 » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:54 am

Winston,

Since your the creator of this site. What are you looking for? I mean you want to be happy abroad obviously but you tried Russia, and Philippines but those countries didn't work out. So what are you looking for in China?

Plus since you believe you offer soo much to a woman. Why not Russia again? I mean I remember you mentioned that a Russian girl has the intellectual capacity to keep you on your toes.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Tue Apr 14, 2015 6:36 pm

chanta76 wrote:Winston,

Since your the creator of this site. What are you looking for? I mean you want to be happy abroad obviously but you tried Russia, and Philippines but those countries didn't work out. So what are you looking for in China?

Plus since you believe you offer soo much to a woman. Why not Russia again? I mean I remember you mentioned that a Russian girl has the intellectual capacity to keep you on your toes.


I never said those countries didn't work out. I just want to try something new. I feel attracted to chinese women now so I want to pursue that. I'm seeking love, dating, romance, a girlfriend, etc. Why is this hard for you to understand? It's self explanatory.

I plan to return to Philippines again and Russia too. I'm trying to get rock to go with me to Siberia.

Yeah Russian women are fun and open and engaging. However they like big burly masculine men so they are not sexually attracted to me. I explained all this many times in other threads. How can you miss that yet you remember one post many years ago about Dianne working in the bar? Your memory must be highly selective.

However I think asian men may do better in eastern Russia because it's closer to Asia and may have more asian influence in its culture. Thus the Russian women in the eastern half of Russia may be more attracted to asian men. It'd be interesting to find out if that's true.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby chanta76 » Tue Apr 14, 2015 7:56 pm

Winston,

That's what gets me confused. So you saying that in Russia it wasn't all bad for you and it did work out for you but you saying that Russian girls prefer big burly guys and don't find you sexual attractive? If that was me I wouldn't consider Russia all that successful. What about a big burly Asian guy? Would they do OK in the western part of Russia?

I imagine the eastern part of Russia with the heavy Asian population will be ok to Asian guys . However, it sucks that Asian guys are limited and can't get white girls. I mean if not Russia there really is no other place for an Asian guy to get a white woman.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby Winston » Wed Apr 15, 2015 8:31 am

chanta76 wrote:Winston,

That's what gets me confused. So you saying that in Russia it wasn't all bad for you and it did work out for you but you saying that Russian girls prefer big burly guys and don't find you sexual attractive? If that was me I wouldn't consider Russia all that successful. What about a big burly Asian guy? Would they do OK in the western part of Russia?

I imagine the eastern part of Russia with the heavy Asian population will be ok to Asian guys . However, it sucks that Asian guys are limited and can't get white girls. I mean if not Russia there really is no other place for an Asian guy to get a white woman.


I've answered that thousands of times already. How is it that I can answer something 10,000 times and you forget it, but if I say only ONCE that Dianne worked in a bar, then you memorize it for all eternity? Can you explain that?

I said I was HAPPY in Russia most of the time. And I got more dates than I ever thought possible. Why do you think that getting sex is the only thing that constitutes success abroad? Why? Doesn't happiness matter too? Isn't happier abroad about being happy overseas? Why are you so narrow?

I never said I was successful in Russia in terms of getting sex. I said I was successful in finding happiness there for some time.

Admittedly I was not happy in Russia for the last 3 or 4 months of my third trip. But that was because I suffered the Russian winter to the extreme which got me down on my mood. Furthermore, people in Russia become miserable and grumpy during the winter which rubbed off on me too. And of course Murphys law gave me a lot of problems and obstacles and bad luck too.

But I felt more alive in Russia than I ever did in America. It opened my eyes and inspired me to start this website and movement. Happier abroad wouldn't exist without it. That's why it was successful. I discovered my destiny there, which was to inspire men to live overseas.

Isn't that worth more than just getting laid? Ask yourself that.

It's kind of like how in the movie Superman, when superman goes to the north pole and discovers the fortress of solitude and hears the message left for him by his father jorelle, he finally knew who he was and what he was on earth to do. That's when he got his blue suit and red cape and officially became superman. That's what my Russia trips did for me. It's where I got my "blue suit and red cape" too. Lol

Do you understand now?

Can you bookmark this post chanta76 so I don't have to repeat these answers another 10,000 times? Why do many guys here have such horrible memory? Is that deliberate?

Yes if you are big and burly and strong, Russian women will like you more. They don't like thin men or soft men. Yes asian men's options are limited. They can get girls in Russia but they will have to put in more work and time and will most likely end up with plain looking girls, not attractive ones. It also depends on if you are a good looking and tall asian guy too.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby chanta76 » Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:07 pm

Winston,

I don't think I have selective memory. Before happier abroad came out your trips to Russia came out. Within the Asian american forum they talked about you. That's how I followed you. I read some of your reports in Russia like I said I'm probably one of the few guys that follow this site before inception. When I first heard of you I felt compassion because you felt the same racism in the dating market or the social out cast that Asian men face in America.

If you think you felt success in Russia that's on you. I mean it's really your opinion that counts not mine. The reason why I brought the issue about sex is that I think sex is important to you. Even now you complain about how come in China your not getting causal sex .

I do remember one post you wrote about Russia how you went to a massage parlor or something like that and the Russian working girls didn't want to go with you and how humiliating that was. In your Russian trip you made issues about what is this girl thinking or how flaky Russian girls are too you. You are right that sex is not everything but I think to you sex is important. In many of your trips you frequent brothels or look for them . Nothing wrong with looking to get laid but if you were getting laid more frequently in Russia your probably still be there. I think.
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby droid » Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:19 pm

Winston wrote:Yes if you are big and burly and strong, Russian women will like you more. They don't like thin men or soft men.


How does it compare to America? is it just as prevalent, and does it include tattoos?
I'm no expert but I've seen pics of scrawny nerdy and thin Russian guys with hotties. Isn't the market supposed to be more biased in favor of men, unlike America?

Winston wrote:I suffered the Russian winter to the extreme


Napoleon and Hitler made the same mistake Lol you repeated history. Better leave operation Winstonrossa for the summer.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

Postby chanta76 » Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:16 pm

droid,

My guess is that you have to look at the local men. Russian guys on the average are tall and some are well built. I think that most Russian girls probably prefer Russian guys because of similar culture and language.

The difference between let say the Philippines is that the local Philippine guys is shorter and darker compared to a white guys. So that's part of the reason why a ugly white guy can do OK even in the Philippines. But in Russia it's different story. I mean look at this site most of the poster here seem to focus on Asia ...

I think if your short and not handsome in Russia you have to make it up with wealth or something like that but from hearing how Russian girls are manipulative you have to watch out. If anything it seems like white women in general (russian or american) are not as good. I don't know if it's genetic thing for white people. I mean this as no offense.

Again I can be corrected ..I mean you can have some ethnic guy write field reports of how he is getting laid left and right in Russia.
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