Should we tell foreign women the truth about America?

[Winston]

Check this out. A mainland Chinese girl just introduced herself in my forum and wrote about being disappointed after coming to America:

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=26916

"I am from China and have been in the US for 8 years, I came here because i heard about US is the most free country in the world. The mainstream media here always shows China as some place has no freedom of speech and everything is so restrict, such as internet, because government install the filter for certain website. But I have to say when I was in China, I do experience happiness and sadness all the time, but I never feel lost or depressed. Even though I'm shy and quiet when I was a teenager, I feel completely okay to be myself. I have friends, parents who I can connect with. 
I used to think Americans live the best life in the world, because they seems always happy and positive. But I find behind the fake smile, there is nothing, there is no true connections. They put their mask on when they pretend to have a relationship with you, but actually not interested in what you are sharing at all. It seems like there is no deep feeling inside them, they are always happy, they want to be more happy, but not real. 
The real human experience is not all happiness, but this culture makes you feel that, if you are sad, there must be something wrong with you. Because everybody else is living a perfect life, look at their smiles. And it makes you feel that you have to change yourself to not to feel negative feeling anymore. No wonder people get depressed, the main reason is that you've been wearing the mask for so long that you lose touch with who you really are. But this society want you to be like that, "coolness" is overrated here. People want to be cool. I want to say "I don't care" attitude is not cool at all. How can you live in such isolated culture without feeling the deep sadness inside you? People are friendly but not your friend. They don't concern others' feeling but tell you the rules you have to follow, or there will be consequence. Do they really follow the rule? Look at the teenagers, many of them don't have basic respect to their parents and teachers, which is never a case in Asian culture.
Come on, we are all human being, US culture alienate people, and numb their emotions, so they lose their compassion for others. It is very sad to see it."

Great! Now whenever a Chinese woman whos never been to America tries to debate me and say that China is the same as America, I can show them the above post written by a girl from their own country, which will corroborate my claims.

[Yohan]

There is no reason not to talk the truth.

About almost for every country worldwide, there is always something which is good about it and what is bad about it.

Living in USA has its advantages, but also its problems, same with China.

[The_Adventurer]

In regard to this topic, what should I do then Terrence? Should I tell everyone abroad that America is a friendly country where it's easy to make friends? The thing is, most people in Asia see America as an exciting place that is open, wild and free. So what am I to do? Pretend that this delusion is true?

But in a sense it IS open, wild and free. Inside a circle of friends, likely formed in high school or college, life is very wild, fun, open and free. Granted, WE cannot enter into that circle of friends, as outsiders, but for THEM, it is not a delusion. Right up until near the time I left, I still hung out with MY circle. When we would all go out, it would be open, wild and free, and we had a lot of good times.

None of this means that in America it is easy to make friends. Like most people, my circle was built in either high school, college and early work years and I have been with the same friends ever since. In China or Korea, I could meet new people and form new lasting friendships. That is the difference between the places. I explain that. That simply IS, it doesn't have to be a negative thing worthy of bashing.

A lot of people in Asia are confused about why we would move to Asia when America is "the land of milk and honey". How do you explain it to them Terrence?

But what if it really IS the land of milk and honey for THEM? We don't know what their experience might be over there. My Korean ex moved to America some time ago. She seems really happy there. She's making more money than she ever could before. She did say it is difficult to meet people and make friends, except for, of course, other Koreans, but it doesn't seem to be destroying her image of the place. She is having a good time. Her parents will follow her soon, and they had MONEY in Korea.

MY reasons for moving to Asia are different than most. The type of work I do simply isn't popular enough in the US and I can't make good money on it. I tell them the story of the day I did a show in Japan and sold more DVDs in one day than I could sell in a month in the USA. It is easy for them to understand my reasons for coming over, but those are just MY reasons. I knew an architect guy who came over because China is throwing up buildings left and right and there is not much work in the USA. In China he can be a lead designer and make his own buildings where he would be a grunt in some large firm in the USA. Everyone's reasons are their own.

If I give a balanced view of pros and cons about America, one of the cons is that social life and social culture is not good in America, and that it's hard to make friends there. Should I omit that? If so, I will not be honest about what I'm passionate about talking about.

I see no reason to omit it. It is true. Granted, some people probably actually LIKE the social culture in America, but I am not one of them. There is an easy way to approach the subject. FAMILY. People are so close with their families in Asia, whereas in USA someone may turn 18, move out and rarely speak to their parents again. I also explain the difference between individualism and collectivism. They can grasp these concepts easily. The point, though, is that it is just DIFFERENT. One doesn't have to be garbage, trash, filth etc. and the other paradise. I just tell it like it is, or like I experienced it, without the need to add color. Let them form their own opinions on it.

In addition, physical health and healthcare and quality of life in America is much lower than in Europe. See the book "The European Dream" by Jeremy Rifkin where he cites lots of evidence and research that backs this up. In France, for example, people live longer, are healthier, have better healthcare, and there is less of a gap between rich and poor than there is in America. I'm sure you are aware of this.

People live WAYYYY longer in China than in America. Healthcare is grossly overpriced and the populace is very unhealthy. This isn't something you need to be afraid to tell people about. They can see how fat everyone is every time there is a scene from America on the news. This is pretty common knowledge. My mom told my wife how a couple of days in the hospital resulted in a $24,000 (twenty four thousand dollars) bill. My wife was in the hospital with a serious illness for 10 days for less than one thousand dollars.

Most people with a modicum of sense are aware of GMOs, chemically sprayed foods and other toxic junk we eat in USA. Isn't there always some story of American agro products being banned somewhere on the news?

[Yohan]

Healthcare is grossly overpriced and the populace is very unhealthy. This isn't something you need to be afraid to tell people about...

Healthcare is a serious problem in USA, the health insurance system is not regulated, medical fees are by far more expensive than anywhere else worldwide.

Legal fees are also a problem in USA, nowhere else are so many people in jail than in USA, nowhere else legal procedures are so confusing and so expensive than in USA, as every federal state has its own laws.

Some newcomers into USA are thinking this is a dream country open for happy communication among many people, any race - but this is not true either. Best is to find a certain group of people you might consider as your friends and stay away from people who have nothing in common with you.

To socialize within USA is not easy. USA has clearly some race-related problems, not all people in USA will welcome you.

Of course there are also some good things about USA, otherwise immigrants in huge numbers will not show up and and try to apply for the green card.

[Wolfeye]

Hell yes! Telling them how it is might make it easier for them to understand your gripes & issues- just don't make it an opening of the floodgates all at once.

[mananimalx]

Honesty and the Truth are all that's matters, America is not the Land of the free or the Home of the brave as it has been portrayed, there are Pros and Cons like any Country. America is the #1 most Racist/Hypocritical institution on the face the Earth. Everything is about Race, Ethnicity, and $$$ , you can isolate yourself to a degree but it comes with personal sacrifice, a willingness to separate ones self from the degradation, the filth, the MCU[ mind control unit] called the Media, Tel- A- Vision, and Entertainment. 99.9% of all Social entertainment.

Anyone that's wants to live in AmeriKKKa or lets just say Western Civilization should be of this realization.

[Wolfeye]

Racism's a big point. It doesn't even always mean what it sounds like- it can be the "everything you do is wrong because you're white" angle. Ever hear it caled "racism" if a white guy gets beat up in a black neighborhood? How about an asian? Violence between black & brown doesn't get designated "racist" in either direction.

[Winston]

Honesty and the Truth are all that's matters, America is not the Land of the free or the Home of the brave as it has been portrayed, there are Pros and Cons like any Country. America is the #1 most Racist/Hypocritical institution on the face the Earth. Everything is about Race, Ethnicity, and $$$ , you can isolate yourself to a degree but it comes with personal sacrifice, a willingness to separate ones self from the degradation, the filth, the MCU[ mind control unit] called the Media, Tel- A- Vision, and Entertainment. 99.9% of all Social entertainment.

Anyone that's wants to live in AmeriKKKa or lets just say Western Civilization should be of this realization.

That's true. I agree. However, the problem is that most people do NOT love the truth, especially women. Women want social cohesion, therefore they lean toward what's POPULAR and what's politically correct, not what's true. That's why they will knowingly lie by saying things like "Appearance doesn't matter to me" whereas men will never say such an obviously false statement.

So by telling the truth all the time, many women will be turned off by it, unless they are very open minded. Some women are intuitive or spiritually oriented, so they can understand what we talk about at a deeper level and be sympathetic to it. But those aren't in the majority.

Another thing is that many women only like truth when it's POSITIVE, not when truth is negative. They only like positive truths, not negative ones. So they cherry pick the truth. In many cases, people see a positive lie as better than a negative truth, especially in America.

So the problem is that we may turn off many women overseas by being too honest. But fortunately, some women will appreciate genuineness and honesty and will not see that as bad. I've met those type of women too. So they do exist.

[Wolfeye]

I disagree. American women might cherry pick the truth because that's a cultural thing, but I've found that even though women DO tend to bitch about it- a lot of them appreciate that you're not nuts & thinking that you're some kind of screenwriter of reality. It seems that in other countries, prowess isn't seen as a bad trait in itself. Pretty much whatever you've got prowess in depends on accuracy.

[Winston]

I sent this to some Chinese women I know who still think that America is a great place to live even if the women suck.

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Let me show you something shocking so you will believe me. Below are excerpts from news articles about how the world health organization reported America to have the HIGHEST rate of mental illness in the whole world! It says that if you live in America you have a 50 percent chance of developing a mental illness!!! Would you want your children to grow up in such an environment? Look below if you don't believe it! Here's the proof! I've provided links too.

From a big medical website:

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news ... staggering 

"June 1, 2004 -- A World Health Organization study released Tuesday shows that rates of most mental illness are far higher in the U.S. than in any other country in the world."

Here is another study that says that half of Americans will develop a mental illness in their lifetime.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archi ... se/246035/ 

"MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS IN THE UNITED STATES
Over a 12-month period, 27 percent of adults in the U.S. will experience some sort of mental health disorder, making the U.S. the country with the highest prevalence. Mental health disorders include mood disorders, anxiety disorders, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and substance abuse. Over one's entire lifetime, the average American has a 47.4 percent chance of having any kind of mental health disorder. Yes, that's almost one in two. The projected lifetime prevalence is even higher: for people who reach age 75 it is 55 percent. The WHO data does not take into account eating disorders, personality disorders, and schizophrenia; the incidence of these disorders together is about 15 percent in the U.S., according to the National Institute of Mental Health."

Now you believe me? It's not just the women that suck in America. The social life and mental health are the WORST too! Your mental health is very important and affects your physical health too.

Moreover America also has the HIGHEST rates of cancer, heart disease, obesity and diabetes in the world too! Did you know that? Do you want an increased risk of getting those too?!

[Contrarian Expatriate]

All but the most intelligent (very few) foreign women idealize America from Hollywood depictions or from pleasant interactions from a handful of American expats in their country. Therefore, they tend to not have the capacity to believe America is as bad as it is.

However, if they travel to the USA, they can develop a better context for "the truth" and see America for what it really is:

A consumption-based society designed to generate eternal corporate revenue from continuous streams of consumers who feel compelled to "buy things." Social relationships are shaky at best because people are conditioned to get fulfillment from "purchased things," not other people.

It is an empty existence despite all the clever marketing.

[jamesbond]

It is an empty existence despite all the clever marketing.

Exactly, living in America is an empty existence despite the positive spin the media and Hollywood would have people believe.

[OutWest]

I sent this to some Chinese women I know who still think that America is a great place to live even if the women suck.

Winston-

The difficulty with calculating mentil illness rates is that it is subjective. It is also very lucrative to diagnose and medicate for it, which the US pharma industry pushes constantly- in schools and otherwise. I would say that either way, the US does have a high rate.

As for obesity, diabetes, cancer and heart disease, the US is not the world leader in any of these categories. WHO and others statistics will show you the rates on any of these if you take the time to look it up. The rates for all of these are relatively high though. These are typically diseases related to overconsumption, stress and sedentary livibg . everyone it seems wants to make it some sinister force, rather than just getting off their fat asses and changing their metabolic behavior.