Filipina suddenly ignoring me

[Virgo Rising]

Hello,

I wanted to get some advice. I have been courting a Filipina for quite some time. We met through a dating website (yes, i know...online...but still). Anyhow, she suddenly started ignoring my calls and texts out of the blue. Two months ago was the last time we spoke on the phone and she said she was still waiting for me. She has said I am her soulmate, she loves me, and can't wait to meet me at the airport when I get a chance to meet her, etc. After that, she started to ignore my calls and my texts. We'd text each other throughout the week, and talk on the weekends. At the end of October, she told me she has a problem with her health. She got lab results on a follow up physical that she told me were not good, and she wanted time to think, and she is sorry she was ignoring me. She said she misses my voice and will call me soon. I feel awful, and worried sick about her. But, I feel stuck. On the one hand, I want to respect her privacy, but I also want to know what the problem is, and don't like that she is ignoring me. So, my dilemma is this:

1) I want to know what the problem is, and I feel shunned that instead of confiding in me, she is ignoring me. Do I try to contact her and explain that I would like some compromise? It's been two months, and I get NOTHING from her.

2) I sent her a b-day card. That is normal for me to do, and normally she thanks me and takes a pic, and sends it to me. Still, nothing.

3) How soon is "soon" as in "I'll call you soon?" It's been two months already.

4) Do I just simply forget it?

After hearing the soulmate, waiting for me, love you....now suddenly nothing...I am wondering how to handle this situation. I am worried, and angry at the same time. Does anyone have experience dating Filipinas who have experienced being suddenly ignored? Is this normal in their culture to do so? I understand the health issue, but the problem I am having is that she hasn't mentioned anything to me about what it is, or how she is doing. Just silence. I don't quite know how to take this sudden change in behavior. I would think that if we are supposedly soulmates, and she is still waiting for me (her words), that she would WANT to talk to me. So, I'm very confused. Can someone provide some insight and advice?

Thank you, I greatly appreciate it.

[Ghost]

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[Blue Murder]

Personally, I could cut ties, call it quits and move on to the next. I'm good at writing people out though.

[droid]

That's why you need to have multiple 'threads' open, especially online . Guys from the chumpzone can be a little naive, myself included but I've learned a lot the hard way after the years.
Having said that, you can't expect them to wait so long for you without them even really knowing you, and that's understandable IMO.

A couple of the girls here in Vietnam are putting pressure for me to go to their respective cities right away;
i know if i don't show up pretty soon i'll be in the dust bin I'm finding logistics to be getting in the way, as time always goes faster than you expect.

[WorldTraveler]

Virgo Rising, I agree 100% with Droid. She is seeing another guy. He's probably living with her. That is why she won't stay in contact with you. Pinays will never tell you the truth. Do not worry, she is not sick. You'll only hear from her again if she splits with this guy and she needs some money, or cares somewhat for you. They love ALL their boyfriends and each and every one of their boyfriends is SPECIAL. You are only special in what you can do for her! Be glad you had this learning experience early and that you never married her. If she could disappear this quickly now, she may have done the same thing after marriage too. Hopefully you learned something and didn’t lose too much money.

[davewe]

You don't say how long you were "courting her" but I agree with the others - that she found someone else. Possibly a Pinoy or possibly a foreigner who got on a plane and actually visited her.

The Pinays all know that most Westerners will never visit them. Your better strategy is to prepare for a trip to the Philippines and then chat with multiple girls online. Maybe you will end up focusing on one or maybe you will choose to meet several. Either way, until you prove to them that you actually have the ability to travel and meet them, it's all a fantasy.

All this being said, try not to be discouraged. Good ones are out there. Just get your own plans together.

[Taco]

What province is she from? Its my observation men have more "problems" with Luzon women than the rest of the country.

[Jonny Law]

If you have not met her in person you have no right to complain.

[droid]

Virgo Rising, I agree 100% with Droid. She is seeing another guy. He's probably living with her. That is why she won't stay in contact with you. Pinays will never tell you the truth. Do not worry, she is not sick. You'll only hear from her again if she splits with this guy and she needs some money, or cares somewhat for you. They love ALL their boyfriends and each and every one of their boyfriends is SPECIAL. You are only special in what you can do for her! Be glad you had this learning experience early and that you never married her. If she could disappear this quickly now, she may have done the same thing after marriage too. Hopefully you learned something and didn’t lose too much money.

Well I wasn't implying all that. You sound a little too distrustful, although I don't know pinays myself.
Not to make a gender-equality argument here OP, but put yourself in her shoes, you're hinting on going for a while but haven't shown up; i think it's normal to have options if you're desperate for companionship, i don't know.
Although it is true we males can be more platonic than women, in spite of being so sexually driven at the same time.

[Virgo Rising]

She's seeing someone else. Classic behavior of a Filipina who has quit. Ask me how I know.

Love is blinding, but just take a step back and you'll realize how obvious this is.

I was kind of feeling that, it was the health issue comment that really worried me. So, how do you know? Personal experience?

[Virgo Rising]

You don't say how long you were "courting her" but I agree with the others - that she found someone else. Possibly a Pinoy or possibly a foreigner who got on a plane and actually visited her.

The Pinays all know that most Westerners will never visit them. Your better strategy is to prepare for a trip to the Philippines and then chat with multiple girls online. Maybe you will end up focusing on one or maybe you will choose to meet several. Either way, until you prove to them that you actually have the ability to travel and meet them, it's all a fantasy.

All this being said, try not to be discouraged. Good ones are out there. Just get your own plans together.

Thanks for the tip. I think my days of courting online are over. It's too difficult that way.

[Ghost]

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[Devil Dog]

Hello,


1) I want to know what the problem is, and I feel shunned that instead of confiding in me, she is ignoring me. Do I try to contact her and explain that I would like some compromise? It's been two months, and I get NOTHING from her.


4) Do I just simply forget it?

Can someone provide some insight and advice?

Thank you, I greatly appreciate it.

Short answer: 'Next' her. Move on to the next one. It doesn't matter why she went silent. There is nothing unique about strategy for filipinas. This applies to all women.

You should either have at least 10 who you are talking to, or firmly not give a shit what happens if you are only talking to one.

[Yohan]

Short answer: 'Next' her. Move on to the next one. It doesn't matter why she went silent. There is nothing unique about strategy for filipinas. This applies to all women.
You should either have at least 10 who you are talking to, or firmly not give a shit what happens if you are only talking to one.

I fully agree with this comment, 100 percent. Nothing else what I could add to it.

Forget her, don't waste your time, move on and look for new contacts with some other girls.

[Zambales]

I was kind of feeling that, it was the health issue comment that really worried me.

It's perhaps the most common excuse given. They know it's a good way to get the sympathy and dollars flowing.

I was thinking the same. She probably had a handful of guys kept on a tether and the 'victor' was the first to sympathise and open up his wallet.